by Kaira Rouda
“Can I talk to you? Alone?” I ask.
Ghoulish mortuary worker nods and disappears.
“How are you holding up? I thought maybe we could do some retail therapy after this?” Tish says. Her eyes sparkle. I don’t know if she’s serious or just messing with me. Or, worse, is she a psycho?
“Why did you cremate Dad?” I ask.
“We’ve been over this. It’s environmentally sound.”
“Why didn’t you bring his body here? Have them do it?” I ask. “It all seems rushed.”
“Well, it was rushed. Someone called the coroner’s office in Colorado and told them your dad was a big shot, so they expedited the death certificate. It was such a hectic time it didn’t matter to me who made it happen. I remember they thought I called. It was weird, but whatever,” she says. She picks up a photo of the three of us and shows it to me. We’re at Atlantis in the Bahamas. “This was fun, remember?”
“You didn’t expedite it?” I ask, my heart beating faster.
“Nope. Not me.”
The heavy door to the mausoleum opens with a moan. We both turn around. It’s my mom.
CHAPTER 29
KATE
Bob pulls the thick wooden door open, and I step inside.
There’s no crowd like I expected. The whole place is empty except for Tish, standing up front where the minister should be, wearing a ridiculously tight brown dress. Ashlyn sits in the front row. Rows of empty chairs face the wall of “drawers” where the deceased reside. I notice our two slots, John Nelson and Kate Nelson labeled in gleaming bronze, side by side. My blood runs cold as I focus on Tish.
“Where are all the people?” I ask. This is an important moment in the history of the city, certainly in the history of one of its most successful companies. This should be a state funeral, a moment to refocus everyone on the new head of the company. I feel my speech in my pocket. “Why is no one here? Where is the mayor?”
Beside me, Bob shifts. “Not invited. It’s private. Per Tish. It wasn’t even announced in the paper. I only know because I still control some of John’s affairs.”
Bob’s hand on my back propels me into action. I walk down the center aisle past rows and rows of empty seats and can’t help but shake my head. John’s friends would want to be here. This makes no sense.
“Sit wherever you’d like, Kate. This is going to be short and sweet,” Tish says as I reach the front of the room. Ashlyn turns around, her face is grim, puffy. I slip into the row behind my daughter. Bob sits beside me.
I touch Ashlyn’s shoulder as I turn my attention back to the front, the altar so to speak. I notice a row of four silver framed photos. Tish and John. Tish and John and Ashlyn. John and Ashlyn. Tish and Ashlyn. How sweet. Next to the photos is a blue ceramic pot. My brain registers: that is John.
Bob whispers, “Oh my god. Poor John.”
I nod, my brain recalculating at the reality of it all, ignoring whatever eulogy spews from Tish’s mouth. I can’t listen to her. All I can do is focus on John.
In that pot.
He’d really hate that. I reach into my pocket and pull out my speech, my Dear John eulogy and company rally.
I tear it into little pieces and watch as they fall to the cold stone floor.
At least it’s all over now.
CHAPTER 30
TISH
I watch Kate’s face contract as I touch the urn. She clearly has a problem with cremation. I should have said more about it in my speech. I had quite the lesson working with the undertaker on this. Ashes to ashes and all. Oh well.
Oh, I almost forgot to bring up the brat. I say, “We all loved you, John. And now, Ashlyn has a few words she’s prepared. She’ll be the last speaker.”
Kate looks at me and brushes bits of paper from her hands. She’s feeling left out. Whatever. She’s so dramatic.
Ashlyn stands and walks to the front next to me. She should kiss my cheek, hug me, show me some love. But she doesn’t. Even so, this must be killing Kate, and I love that. I know I should not feel this way, but I do. She never was nice to me. Ever. And I tried, especially at the beginning. I mean, she didn’t want to have sex with him anymore or else why was he so responsive to me? That’s the thing. I did her a favor, really. What did she lose? Nothing. She has her kid, her company, her house, and her fancy life. She really needs to get over herself.
I pat Ashlyn’s hand, a small but obvious gesture signifying our closeness, and take a seat in the front row. As I wait for Ashlyn to begin, I smile at the elegant simplicity of this funeral. I mean, the photos glisten in their silver frames, John’s urn is masculine and respectful. The creepy drawers full of rich dead people throw things off a bit, but all in all, this is a nice funeral.
I remember I need to pay attention to Ashlyn’s speech, or at least pretend to. She’s reading from a piece of paper that’s shaking between her hands. No composure. But that’s to be expected. She’s never had any adversity in her life until this. If you don’t count the divorce. And you shouldn’t. I mean everybody’s parents are divorced these days. Her day-to-day spoiled life isn’t even affected by it. She told me she considers it a blessing. She gained an older sister. Truth be told, she said that a long time ago, and I think her perspective has shifted.
She should stop talking. Tears stream down her cheeks. The speech is shaking in her hands. “I just miss you so much, Daddy. I don’t understand why you’re gone.”
I can’t take it. I jump up and wrap my arms around her, preempting a move by Kate to do the same thing. I whisper, “There, there, sweetie. You’re going to be fine. I’m here for you.”
Ashlyn shakes harder. I hug tighter.
Kate is behind me. I feel her hot breath on my neck. “Let go of my daughter.”
“I’ve got her. She’s fine,” I answer without turning around.
“Mom.” Ashlyn shrugs out of my embrace and reaches for Kate.
Traitor.
“Step aside, Tish,” Bob says. He’s Kate’s guard dog and for some reason, he is standing behind me. I didn’t invite him here. He invited himself, I bet. To escort Kate. As if she’s the poor widow, incapable of driving herself to this service when I’m the one who’s the widow here.
When Ashlyn came early to meet me here for a special moment with her dad, I thought she was on Team Tish. Instead, she questioned what happened with her dad’s autopsy. She should be thanking me for handling things so well and so quickly. Who cares how it was expedited? I thought she came early to spend time together, but really it was to question me. The nerve. I’m fuming. I really can’t believe the little brat.
Wrong, stupid Tish, wrong.
It’s my momma’s voice. I hate that voice. I fight the urge to kick something since it wouldn’t be appropriate here. I want to kick Bob, hard, in the shin.
“What did you say?” I ask him and can’t help putting my hands on my hips. He makes me defensive, the jerk. Bob’s probably just a sore loser. I mean, he still has Kate’s business, but he lost the power couple of John and Kate. I know he bragged about that. I do my research. Don’t let my looks fool you. I glare at Bob and lean into the fire. “Can you just leave me alone? You weren’t even invited here. You are not wanted.”
Bob stiffens. Behind him, Ashlyn and Kate are holding hands. I can’t hear what they say, but I need to get over there. Bob says, “This is John’s funeral. Everyone should have been included. Everyone.”
I give him the stink eye. “Shut up, Bob.” I push past him and reinsert myself into the Ashlyn and Kate lovefest. I’m beginning to feel I’m being unkind. But really, I’m just defending myself. Besides, it nauseates me when they are cozy with each other.
“Ashlyn, you did such a nice job. Your dad would have been so happy. I know he’s smiling down from heaven right now, loving his girls.” I smile and pat Ashlyn’s shoulder.
“We should go.” Kate takes a step away from me and then points her finger at me. “Back off, Tish.”
Oh, Kate. So firm, so scar
y. I step to the side so she has the full view of John’s urn, and our happy family photos.
I turn my attention back to Ashlyn. “Up to you, Ashlyn. If you’d like, we can go shopping or something, to cheer us up.” See, I’m amenable.
Ashlyn looks from me, to her mom, and back at me. “I’d rather not. Ever.”
Interesting. Seems she has turned on me.
“Let’s go.” Kate wraps her arm around Ashlyn, and they walk out the way they came, back down the center aisle without a word of thanks. Bozo Bob follows behind them like a lost puppy.
“Oh, you’re welcome!” I call after them. “Lovely service, Tish. We are so grateful, Tish!”
Bob stops and turns around even though Kate and Ashlyn continue out the door. “You’ll be sorry someday, young lady. This was pure evil, cremating John despite the objections of his family.”
“He was my husband. My choices.” My hands are on my hips. I fight the urge to walk toward him. I like being here, at the front, in the spotlight.
“Did you know he was going to leave you? He’d had enough of you and your games. He told me so himself.”
A bubble of fear explodes in my chest, and I put my hand on my heart to calm down. He couldn’t know that, could he? John didn’t tell Bob anything. He’s bluffing, trying to shake me up. It won’t work. “You’re crazy. John loved me. We were on vacation at our favorite place when he died.”
“Oh, I know where you were. And I suspect John didn’t want to be there. I mean, why would he go to the mountains in the middle of the biggest deal of his life? Doesn’t make sense. Your existence doesn’t make sense.” Bob turns and walks out the door.
I’m shaking all over. It must be from the stress of the day. I feel a hand on my shoulder.
“Mrs. Nelson, we can handle everything from here.” It’s the helpful mortuary staff. Everybody is so pasty in this industry, doughy white like they never see the sun. It’s creepy.
I smile. “Thank you, Elliott. I’m so exhausted. So sad.”
“Would you like to accompany the cremains to the burial site?” he asks.
Just then, the door opens and Kate steps into the mausoleum. Maybe she forgot her purse or something. She is getting old, senile, and menopausal at the very least.
“I want you to know that you are not welcome in this town. Not near my business, my family, or me. Not ever again. Do you understand me? I am not playing around, Tish.” She’s pointing her finger at me again.
I’m tired of her drama. And she’s kinda scary at the moment. But I’m not worried. I’m one step ahead of her. She really should just stop playing the game. It’s over. He’s not coming back to her, or to me.
“Let it go, would you? John’s gone. I’m following his wishes. His new wishes. Cremation and burial in the meadow. I’m sorry he didn’t tell you. That space next to yours in here, it’s already been resold. Right, Elliott?”
“Yes, Mrs. Nelson. That’s correct,” Elliott manages to say.
“You are unbelievable.” Kate stares down at me. I see the fury in her eyes, her face glistens with sweat. “You have ruined everything.”
“Mom.” Ashlyn comes through the door and to the rescue. “It’s time to go. Come on.”
“Of course. I’m coming,” Kate says, practically stomping out the door. Such a toddler.
I step from behind Elliott once Kate is gone. This whole time Ashlyn watches me, not her mom. I smile and mouth the word thanks.
But Ashlyn shakes her head and turns away.
Fine. Ungrateful brat. I’m finished with you, too. You’re the one who should stay away from me.
CHAPTER 31
KATE
I finish washing my face and walk into my bedroom, dropping onto my bed. As much as I’d love to just sleep for days, I can’t. I have a company to reassure. And I have a daughter to set straight. Ashlyn and I haven’t seen each other since the debacle at the cemetery.
I’ve decided we will never speak to Tish again. That will be our rule. Our pact. She doesn’t owe that woman anything. Neither do I. I stand up and head down the hall.
Ashlyn isn’t in her bedroom. The door is open and the room is dark as I walk by. I find my daughter downstairs in the kitchen, drinking a glass of wine. She’s become quite comfortable in her skin this summer. Confident in her young adulthood, in her place in the world even though she’s still a college student. I never would have sat in my parents’ kitchen sipping a glass of wine, not without being offered one first. We were a family of rule followers, we always did the right thing. I really cannot think of a time I didn’t follow the rules, and it never occurred to me to rebel. Not until my husband left me for a woman half my age.
“There you are,” I say.
“Here I am,” Ashlyn says. Her fingers drum the kitchen counter.
I pull out a barstool and sit, resisting the urge to pour myself a glass. “Listen, I want to talk to you about Tish, about what happens from here forward. We can just ignore her. She has no relationship with us anymore.”
Ashlyn smiles. “You’ve never had a relationship with her, so that’s a pretty easy choice for you to make. She was my friend. At least, I thought she was. Now I know it was just an act. I was proud of you today, Mom. For sticking up for us, for Dad. I can’t believe all you’ve been through because of Tish.”
“It’s been a lot. You know, she’s not your friend. Never was. She’s an opportunist, maybe worse. She used you to make it easier for Dad to leave.”
“I’m starting to see that. She lies about everything.” Ashlyn sighs.
“It’s time to move forward, and with Tish out of our lives, it will be easier. Everything will be,” I assure her.
“I hope you’re right.” She looks so sad, my poor girl. “I still think she did something to Dad. In Telluride.”
I pull my daughter into a bear hug. We’re a team now. “You’re going to have to let it go. Dad is gone. We need to focus on the future. EventCo will be all yours one day. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you.”
“Thanks, Mom. I know.” I watch as her face crumbles with a wave of grief. “It just sucks. I miss him so much. And at the same time, I’m angry with him for falling for Tish in the first place.” Tears roll down her cheeks.
I must admit this is something I’ve been dreaming of: Ashlyn holding John accountable for the mess he made in our lives. But there’s no time to gloat, not now when Ashlyn is in such pain.
“I know this is all so hard. You and your dad had a very special relationship. I’m here for you, whatever you need. And just try to forget about Tish.” I take a deep breath and exhale. That feels good.
“She’s been my stepmom for three years. I know a lot about her. More than you even.” Ashlyn stands up. She grabs a tissue from the box and wipes her eyes. “For some reason, Tish is convinced Dad was coming back to us, getting back together with you. It was kind of driving her crazy. I saw her unraveling at work. It was funny how she tried to sneak up on you and Dad when he’d be in your office. Or when you guys slipped out to meetings together.”
I smile. My daughter is quite perceptive, I suppose. “Yes, your dad and I were talking again, building a relationship again, that’s true. But getting back together? That wouldn’t be something I would have agreed to, not likely.”
My daughter’s face falls.
“I mean, who knows. Maybe we could have gotten back together? There would have been a lot to overcome. But maybe.” I lie, but it will make her feel better.
“It seemed like you were open to the idea,” Ashlyn says. “As for me, I’m watching her. I don’t think she’s told us the whole story of what happened in Telluride.”
“She’s a liar and a fake. But you don’t need to worry about her anymore. It’s all over. We need to stay away from her. Just leave your dad’s death alone. It was a heart attack.”
“Was it? I’m not so sure.” And with that, she walks out of the room.
My daughter and I are on the same page. She is more like m
e than I thought.
I slide back onto my barstool and reach for Ashlyn’s unfinished glass of wine. I’m celebrating. It’s such a relief the EventCo office will finally be Tish-free. I didn’t realize how much I’d been holding my breath these past few years. How much I’d actually dreaded going into the office every day, knowing she was in the same space. Even if I didn’t see her, Tish’s presence was like a black cloud, bringing down morale. Employees feeling sorry for the president on a daily basis just doesn’t make for a great atmosphere, or the best way to run a company. I tried to explain that to John, but he was blinded by love. Or lust. Or just blinded by Tish.
“Tish will be here every day, just like before we got engaged,” John had stated, storming into my office after hearing “rumors” that I was hiring a replacement assistant for my ex-husband. “You just stay out of my affairs.” He’d flushed at the word choice and then softened. “Look, I don’t know if it was really you who wanted Sandra to hire a new executive assistant, or if that’s just gossip.”
“It’s gossip,” I’d answered, although I had been behind it. “It is the right thing, John. We cannot all three of us work here. It’s too awkward.”
John had shaken his head. “We’ve all been working here. Nothing has changed.”
Everything, of course, had changed. “You are the CEO of this company, and you’re engaged to be married to your assistant. Engaged, John, oh my gosh! I’m the president of this company and your ex-wife. It sounds like a sad soap opera. We are the laughingstock of the entire business community. I’ve never been so ashamed. Tell her to find another job somewhere else. This is ridiculous.”
“You’re ridiculous. Feel free to resign, Kate. Maybe a change will do you good. Tish’s not going anywhere.”
I still feel a stab down to my core remembering the conversation. He was committed to this folly, engaged to this young woman, enjoying his embarrassing midlife crisis. He was picking her over everyone else, and over our business interests. That’s when I knew for certain our company was in danger, and I had to do something about it. I remember where I stood in my office, the smell of the lavender candle I had burning on my desk. I remember my stomach lurching and feeling as if I would be sick.