*
“Are you ready?”
At Daisy’s question, Ricky looked up from the kitchen counter, where he’d been staring at the plates he’d filled moments ago.
She poked her head into the kitchen, fine eyebrows raised in question. She and Jonas had spent the past half hour settling her family in the parlor for a quiet Christmas afternoon meal.
That hopefully they would keep down. He’d made the soup as mild-flavored as he could.
For himself, Daisy and his pa, he’d plated the roasted goose and vegetables, along with thick slices of bread. He was proud of the meal, proud to have pulled it together for her.
But was he ready to break bread with his pa and Daisy’s family?
The knot in his stomach belied the smile that he gave her. He picked up two of the plates and let her take the third. He followed her into the parlor, where his pa sat near the boss and Ned, both pale but talking ranching in low voices.
Audra had elected to remain upstairs, still not feeling up to a gathering, family or not. Both boys lounged on the sofa. Beau and Belinda sat on the floor, both wrapped in blankets but upright.
Daisy joined them on the floor, and that left Ricky to sit next to her or to take the chair in one corner of the room. He took the chair. It was slightly closer to his pa.
“The food’s good, son,” Jonas said.
Ricky tensed at the sobriquet. How could Jonas still call him son when he’d abandoned the family?
“It’s impressive that a young man can cook a meal like this,” Owen said.
“Roll’s good,” one of the twins echoed through a stuffed mouth.
Growing uncomfortable with the praise, especially with Ned’s narrowed-eyed gaze focused on him, Ricky shifted in his seat. “Any of my brothers could do the same.”
“All your sons can cook like this?” Belinda asked Jonas curiously.
Relieved that the conversational focus had turned to his pa, Ricky shoveled food into his mouth.
His gaze met and clashed with Daisy’s. Her eyes were warm, and there was a depth of emotion behind them. She might not know what had gone on between him and his family, but somehow she understood that he wasn’t entirely comfortable with his pa here.
He loved Jonas. His pa was one of a kind, honest, generous, compassionate to a fault.
He just didn’t think Jonas would feel the same way about him if he knew the truth about Ricky’s past, and what he’d done. But a holiday wasn’t the time to bring something like that up. If there ever was a time.
“Doesn’t seem like Christmas without presents,” one of the twins said under his breath.
One corner of Daisy’s mouth twitched. He only saw it because he was watching so closely.
It was probably the quietest Christmas he’d spent. His boisterous family was probably crowded around the long dining table at home, jockeying for the last scoop of potatoes or tossing the last roll about.
He missed them with an intensity he hadn’t expected when he’d left home. Having Jonas here somehow made the emotions more real.
But when Daisy’s lips spread in a small, real smile, he couldn’t regret being away from his family.
She’d changed so much, improved in her attitude and her abilities. She was so courageous.
And he couldn’t imagine leaving the ranch, not yet.
*
Daisy was thankful for her family’s improvement over the course of the afternoon. She couldn’t ask for a better Christmas gift.
Getting to know Ricky’s papa had been a surprise blessing.
Jonas had helped all afternoon, more like a hand than a guest. He’d carted firewood, mucked out stalls, served bowls of the hearty soup Ricky had cooked and swapped ranching stories with Papa and Ned.
The only thing that didn’t fit quite right was how quiet Ricky had remained in one corner of the parlor. He’d barely spoken at all, only focusing on his food.
She hadn’t been able to tell if he’d been avoiding her, or his father, or both.
The kiss they’d shared had been unexpected for them both. She knew that. If he intended to court her, she would expect him to talk to her papa about it first, and that hadn’t happened because of the sickness. And with Jonas’s arrival, his attention should shift to his family.
Of course it was logical that he acted as if nothing had changed between them.
But there was a part of her that worried. Still.
The unsure part, the part filled with doubts about her desirability to the opposite sex, whispered that maybe he was regretting that he’d kissed her at all.
She tried to act as if nothing was wrong as the subdued festivities concluded and everyone went to bed. Even the twins were still weak and not themselves, as they’d acquiesced to receiving their gifts on the morrow.
As Daisy banked the fire, Papa offered Jonas a room, but she overheard him say he would bunk with Ricky out in the barn loft. The two hale men helped Ned and Beau outside.
Daisy trailed them as far as the kitchen as her papa followed the twins and Belinda upstairs. She banked the fire in the stove as well, slowly. Dawdling.
Wondering if Ricky would return to say good-night. With her family a bit improved, maybe he expected her to take care of things inside the ranch house.
Maybe she was the only one anticipating repeating their kiss.
But as she shut the stove door with a clang, the back door closed. She looked up to see Ricky take off his snow-dusted hat. Judging by the few flakes, it must not be coming down very quickly.
“You get everybody settled in here?” he asked.
She nodded, chest still tight from her earlier thoughts. Unsure.
He shifted his feet. “I guess my pa and I are going to ride out first thing in the morning and check the sheep and the watchdogs, feed ’em if they need it. With the two of us, we should be back by lunchtime.”
He didn’t seem entirely happy about it, even though having Jonas here would lessen his workload.
“Your papa seems like good people,” she said softly.
“He is.” Ricky didn’t seem to question his quick, truthful answer at all. But the shadows behind his eyes remained and that made her wonder what put them there.
But it was late. They’d both been up in the night and had a long day of caring for the others. Now wasn’t the time to ask about it.
“I’m glad we got to...spend some time together today,” she said softly.
He remained across the room.
She was afraid to ask what was coming next for them. If he intended to speak to her papa or what he wanted...
She wasn’t even entirely sure what she wanted, but she had hope.
“You sure you’ll be all right in the morning?” he asked, working his hat between his hands.
She nodded again, swallowing hard.
He hesitated, still. And then he tossed his hat onto the clean counter and crossed to her, his strides sure.
He pulled her into his arms, but didn’t tip her chin up. He squeezed her close to his chest and brushed a kiss against her temple. “I’ll see you at lunch,” he said firmly.
Then he strode back to the door, stuffing his hat onto his head and going out without a glance back at her.
Which was probably a good thing, because she was certain she wore a completely ridiculous smile.
He did feel something.
She hugged her arm around her waist, biting back the happy squeal that wanted to break free. Everyone was already resting upstairs, and she didn’t want to disturb them.
And she wanted to savor the warmth enveloping her for just a bit. It was all her own. Hers and Ricky’s, and no one else’s.
*
The next morning, it was still dark when Ricky and Jonas rode out of the farmyard, with just a sliver of pale light showing at the horizon. They were tucked into their coats, with scarves and gloves protecting them from the wind as much as possible.
Ricky had put his pa driving the wagon while he rode ahead, scouti
ng for the herd. He needed the distance. He still didn’t know why his pa had come.
They found the flock near the back of Richards’s property, and with snow covering most of the ground, it was good they’d loaded up with hay.
Jonas forked out the hay while Ricky rode the perimeter, counting heads.
“Three missing,” he told Jonas when he’d returned to the wagon.
“All right.”
Jonas untied his horse from where he’d had it attached to the back of the wagon and slid into the saddle easily.
“There’s some scrub brush out this way. They’ve been hiding there some. Let’s check there first.”
Jonas nodded and set out at a leisurely pace, until they were riding about a hundred yards apart, each scanning the brush and landscape for those missing sheep. Jonas’s steady, unhurried presence was just the same as it would’ve been at his own homestead. Ricky’s pa had always known who he was, even before he’d fallen in love with Penny and their family had grown.
Ricky had always envied his pa’s steadfast spirit. For someone with a past like Ricky’s, the guilt had eaten him alive. He could never be like Jonas. He wasn’t good like that.
Now with Beau’s teachings in mind, Ricky knew that he was forgiven. But his past didn’t just disappear, either. He’d done so many things he wasn’t proud of...
He didn’t know what to say to his pa.
They found the three missing sheep holed up near a stream in some marshy grasses and drove them toward the main flock so they could get some hay.
Jonas and Ricky returned to the wagon and they both dismounted, Jonas tying off his horse to the back of the cart and Ricky picking up the pitchfork to toss it into the back. On the other side of the wagon, the animals milled around, occasionally bleating their appreciation for the meal.
“Thanks for...coming out,” Ricky said awkwardly. “I guess now you can go home, back to the family.”
Jonas knotted the reins and moved toward Ricky, laying one hand on the back of the wagon. “If you’ve got something to say to me, I’d rather you just said it, instead of dancing around the issue like the two-step you’ve been doing since yesterday.”
Ricky shrugged, squinting off into the blinding morning sun. His face was cold. Even more, he was cold on the inside, frozen to the bone. “I just don’t understand why you came up here.”
“I came because you needed help.”
“Yeah, but...I walked out on the family. I left after Edgar got those cattle to Cheyenne.” Jonas and Penny had taken fifteen-year-old Breanna on a trip across the country to Boston. His brother Edgar had been left in charge and they’d clashed. It had been the last straw for Ricky, who’d let his selfishness blind him.
“I figured you’d come back when you were good and ready. You ready yet?”
Ricky glanced at his father. Jonas watched him with those unwavering brown eyes. Not pushing. Just watching.
“I’m not done here yet.”
“That’s about what I thought. Your ma will like Daisy.”
Ricky shook his head. “I’m not...” Good enough for her. “There’s a lot she don’t know about me.” There was a wide chasm between them—the accident.
Jonas shrugged. “So tell her.”
Ricky winced. He knew he was going to have to tell her about his part in the accident that had cost her her arm. He didn’t know if she’d be able to forgive him. “It ain’t that easy.”
“I thought the same about winning Penny, until the lot of you boys set me straight.”
Ricky rounded on his pa. “It ain’t like that. I’m not the same as you were—”
Jonas didn’t react to Ricky’s heated words. “You’re a fine catch.”
But Jonas didn’t know about the woman he’d killed. Bile rose to choke Ricky. “I’m not. You want to know why I really left home?”
“If you want to tell me.”
His pa’s implacable answer just fueled Ricky’s ire. “I left because none of y’all know who I really am—and if you did, you wouldn’t think the same of me.” His brothers, his ma and pa wouldn’t care about him anymore if they found out the truth about him. He knew it.
“You think I don’t know who you are?” Jonas asked. He seemed confused.
“You don’t,” Ricky said firmly. He was sure of it.
“I know you’re my son. That’s all that matters.”
The matter-of-fact words released a flood of emotion in Ricky. He turned away, raising one hand to mash his hat onto his head.
“All that...bad behavior, the carousing and fighting back in Bear Creek, that was the least of it,” he muttered.
And that’s when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
Holding back the emotion, the truth about his past was too much under Jonas’s steady, fatherly love.
Tears rose, blinding Ricky. He raised a hand to swipe at them but didn’t get the chance. Jonas spun him around with a shove to his shoulder.
Ricky was used to fighting, used to wrestling, but he couldn’t fight against it when Jonas slung an arm around his neck and hauled him into a hug.
Every barrier holding back Ricky’s emotion crashed down and he found himself bawling like a baby, spilling the whole story in gulps and bursts to his pa, mumbling into the man’s shoulder.
How his ma had died in that dingy bordello and left him homeless; how he’d tried to survive and started a campfire that had turned into a wildfire and killed a woman; running away. The choking, overpowering fear.
And then, how years later he’d found himself in a saloon in Pattonville, drunk and looking for a release from the frustration and guilt that filled him to boiling. How he’d found a fistfight, how their brawl had spilled out into the street and scared the horses tethered to Daisy’s wagon, ultimately causing the conveyance to overturn with her inside it.
How the guilt still crippled him. How he wanted to fix things for her.
And when he was done, when he’d spilled it all, Jonas didn’t pull away as he’d expected.
“That’s what you’ve been keeping to yourself all these years?”
Ricky was the one to pull away, wiping a sleeve across his eyes. He looked across the wagon to the sheep, afraid to meet Jonas’s gaze and see what was there.
But Jonas didn’t let him run away. He stepped next to Ricky so they were shoulder to shoulder. “You were a kid. You didn’t mean it to happen. Besides, you ran away. How can you be sure she died?”
Ricky shook his head. He’d known.
“Beau told me I’m a new man—God’s man. But how can He forgive me for all that I’ve done?”
“Probably because He loves you. Even more than I do.”
Jonas’s words gave Ricky the courage to look up. His father didn’t turn away, didn’t try to hide what was in his eyes.
And nothing had changed.
Warmth infused Ricky. Warmth, and hope.
If Jonas knew about his past and it didn’t change the way he felt about Ricky, maybe there was a chance for a relationship with Daisy.
Ricky had never had a real relationship before. He wasn’t entirely sure he could maintain one.
And Daisy didn’t know the biggest barrier between them. That he’d been a part of her accident.
What would she do when she found out?
Chapter Thirteen
“What are you two doing?”
Midmorning, Daisy came up behind Todd and Terrance in the hall outside the kitchen, where they crouched outside the doorway, obviously up to something. It seemed as if the household was getting back to normal.
They both jumped, and Todd looked vaguely guilty as he looked over his shoulder at her. “Jest listening,” he mumbled.
“Spying?”
Terrance scoffed, but his face had gone red.
This morning, the family had exchanged gifts over the breakfast table. She hadn’t been sure how the twins would react to the substitute gifts Ricky had chosen for them, but she needn’t have worried. They’d been elated to re
ceive the slingshots and both had looked at her as if they didn’t quite know what to think about her gifts. Or her.
They’d mumbled subdued thank-yous, but she’d caught Terrance looking at her several times throughout the meal, almost an...indecision written on his face.
Now Todd said, “Belinda and Beau are in there, cooin’ like lovebirds.”
Curiosity overtook her for a moment, before she laid her hand on top of Terrance’s head, the same way she would’ve done if it had been Belinda caught spying.
“You two need to leave them alone.” Both boys had already turned to peek through the doorway again. Todd was apparently not listening to her, but Terrance glanced over his shoulder. Did she have a chance to win over at least one of them?
“Besides, I need your help,” she said, with as much cheer as she could muster.
“What?”
“Why?”
Their twin complaints made her laugh a little. “Someone’s got to launder all those sheets the lot of you soiled when you were sick. And we three are it.”
They groaned. And the embarrassed looks they’d worn when she’d witnessed them being sick returned.
“But we still don’t feel well,” Todd whined.
Terrance looked as if he might protest, too, but she prevented it by saying, “If you’re well enough to spy, then you’re well enough to help me. Or I can ask your mama if she’s got another job in mind for you.”
She lifted her eyebrows, daring them to challenge the threat.
They didn’t.
“Start hauling some buckets of water from the well. I’ll stoke the fire and put some pots out and we’ll fill the tub together.”
The twins slunk through the kitchen toward the back door. She followed them into the room, noticing Beau leaning one hip casually against the counter, Belinda leaning on her elbow.
Both of them started in surprise when the three entered the room. Beau started stammering and grabbed for his hat. Belinda watched him with a bemused smile on her face. Bright morning sunlight streamed through the window, warming the room and making the dreary events of the past few days seem far removed.
The boys slammed out the back door while Daisy fetched the laundry washtub and began dragging it from its spot behind the stove.
A Cowboy for Christmas (Mills & Boon Love Inspired Historical) (Wyoming Legacy - Book 5) Page 14