by Toni Aleo
Mena flung her limbs in agreement and Kacey smiled. “Well, at least I have a partner in crime. Now, you go to sleep. I’m gonna go watch Notting Hill and eat ice cream for the both of us since your mother won’t let me drink. You should talk that over with her. Auntie needs her booze.” Leaning over the crib, she kissed Mena’s forehead. “Love you, Mena Bena. You’re my favorite niece in the whole world.”
Mena just stared at her and Kacey felt a bit guilty for leaving her, but it wasn’t like Mena was very social. Putting on her mobile and her nightlight, she walked out of the room and cracked the door before heading to the kitchen. As she walked through the living room, she noticed that Karson and Lacey were outside on the patio with the fire going. Popping her head out, she said, “Mena is down, and I’m about to go to bed too.”
“Thanks, I’ll turn the baby monitor on. Night,” Lacey said, pulling it out of her pocket and doing as she said she was going to.
“Night,” she said before shutting the door and heading to the kitchen. Grabbing her pint of cookie dough, she headed back to her room. After turning on her TV and setting her ice cream on the bedside table, she changed into her PJs and went to the bathroom. It was steamy when she entered, and she assumed Jordie had just taken a shower since his door was shut.
Sitting on the toilet, she thought for a second that she should lock the door. But there was a ledge, he wouldn’t be able to see her using the bathroom. Plus, she would scream at him to leave before he would know what was going on. When she was done, she went to the sink to wash up, when from around the corner Jordie came out of the shower, rubbing his head with a towel and a razor in his hand.
With nothing around his waist.
Blinking dumbly, her jaw dropped as he threw his towel on the counter to clean out his razor. She hadn’t seen him naked in months and, like before, she was positively breathless. His body was toned, not like it had been before, but the definition was there. Her mouth promptly went dry. As her eyes drank him in, she took in the body she had worshiped for those four amazing months. His arms were covered in tattoos just the way she loved, each one distinct and all him. He loved stylized skulls and had a few along his arm. They coexisted with a pin-up girl wearing a hockey jersey that hung off her shoulder. Roses took up most of the rest of the spaces on his arm. It was all black and gray and beautiful. Along his hip, he had a huge three with a hockey stick shooting a puck. He had gotten it when he was eighteen. His first tattoo. It was her favorite.
The hair on his chest was short from where he had shaved. She usually liked when he left it long, but that wasn’t what she was looking at for long. His cock was hanging there, looking fucking delish, and she didn’t know what to do. All kinds of images came to mind as her stomach clenched with want. The first time they’d had sex was against the very sink she was standing in front of, and it had all started when he came out of the shower naked.
But that would not happen again!
“Um?” she gasped, and he looked over at her blankly.
“Yeah?”
“You’re naked.”
He looked down, turning to her and nodding. “Yeah, I just got done showering and manscaping.”
Of course, that caused her to look down at where he had, in fact, done a wonderful job manscaping around his huge cock. She gripped the sink, sucking in a breath as his grin grew.
“Looks good, right?” he said proudly, and she was speechless.
Utterly speechless.
“Okay, well, I’m beat. You kicked my ass today,” he said, completely unaffected by her gawking. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night.”
He turned, heading for his room, his perfect, thick ass for all the world to see, and Kacey could not speak. She was stunned into silence. Was this really happening? Also, why was it taking everything out of her not to grab his ass?
When he reached the door, he turned and looked at her.
“By the way, Kelly is a big mountain of dildos. You could do a lot better.”
She could only blink at him, but he waited for a response, which was very unlike him. Usually, he’d say something and then shut the door so he wouldn’t have to hear her take. But this time, he waited, and that stunned her just as much as his huge monster of a cock did. Oh, and his statement.
Finally finding her voice, she spat out, “Why do you care?”
“Because I care about you.”
He again waited for a response, but she had nothing. She knew this was the part when she should ask where he had been, why he had cut off contact. But instead, she just shook her head. She couldn’t do this right now. She was exhausted, mentally and physically.
“Well, stop,” she demanded, but Jordie was the one shaking his head.
“I can’t,” he said softly. “I won’t.”
Before she could say something, though, really, she wasn’t even sure what that would be, he said, “Good night, Kacey.”
And shut the door, ending the conversation.
Staring at the door, Kacey was unsure what had just happened. But she was sure she would never get the image of his cock out of her head. And if she were honest, she would admit that she hadn’t ever since she’d last slept with him. But none of that mattered. What did matter was what he said: I can’t. I won’t. What did that even mean? He apparently didn’t love her. Didn’t want her. But what if he did?
Letting her head fall back, she swallowed hard and told herself to pull it together, that he didn’t love her. But a small voice inside of her whispered,
Maybe he does.
Letting her head fall forward, she looked at her reflection, and she shook her head. As she took in her flushed face, her eyes that were full of bewilderment, she decided she had no clue who or what Jordie Thomas was. She had not the slightest idea, and that meant she really needed to go to bed and eat her ice cream. At least she understood Ben & Jerry’s.
But before she could step away from the door, the strum of a guitar stopped her. It was faint, so of course, being the nosy one she was, she got closer. Her nose pressed to the door as the music fought to reach her, causing her heart to race. It was as if the music was getting louder and she worried that he would open the door, but he didn’t.
When Jordie’s low, rough voice started the lyrics to “Draw Me a Map” by Dierks Bentley, she closed her eyes, leaning her head against the door as his voice burst through the wood and washed over her. Each word of the song hit her square in the chest, and it gutted her. The words could be applied to them easily, but she wouldn’t read into it. She loved this song, he knew she loved this song, and he was singing it to her. Hoping she heard it. But she couldn’t tell him she had.
She had to let this go. Jordie wasn’t the man she wanted. He didn’t love her the way she loved him. She had to just walk away. But her feet wouldn’t move. And as the tears streamed down her face, she had no clue what she was going to do.
Leaning against the wall outside of the massage room, Jordie played on his phone while he waited for his turn. He probably didn’t need a rubdown, but if it meant Kacey touching him, he was there. She had been doing everything to avoid him; she wouldn’t even look at him while they worked out each day. When they were at the house, she acted as if he wasn’t there. He still picked at her every chance he got, just for her to acknowledge him, but it wasn’t enough. He needed more. It had been three days since he’d walked out of the shower in his birthday suit, and she still hadn’t looked him in the eye.
He didn’t know if he should chalk that up as a good thing or bad.
She wasn’t usually this quiet. She told him what she thought at all times and didn’t hold back. He was unsure what that meant and didn’t know how to proceed with her. Was she really happy with Liam? He honestly didn’t believe so. Especially with Lacey chirping in his ear that Liam was no competition. A part of him wanted to leave her be, let her be happy with someone else, but the selfish part of him wanted her with only him. Forever. He could be the one to make her happy, he believed that now. He j
ust needed the chance.
He had spoken of her at his AA meeting the night before, and everyone urged him to wait it out if he really believed she was the one. The problem he was having was that he never did share well with others. Kacey was his. He just needed her to remember that and leave Liam in her dust. He also didn’t understand why she hadn’t asked him what he wanted to talk about. Anytime he brought it up, she’d basically run. It was really weird and out of character for her. It was as if they both had changed from the shitty breakup, and he wanted nothing more than to know the girl he’d hurt. To mend the wounds he’d caused and love her more than she could ever imagine.
He just needed the chance.
Turning the Snickers in his hand that he had gotten for her, he waited for Shea to come out. It was a ballsy move to expect her to rub him down after the intense workout she’d inflicted on him, but Jordie was a lot of things, ballsy being one of them. He was craving her touch like a crackhead craved a hit. He needed it, and if this was the only way he could get it without crossing the lines of her relationship, he’d do it.
He knew she wouldn’t cheat, nor would he ask her to. One of the many reasons he’d never gotten into a relationship was because he couldn’t not cheat. It was in his blood; his mom was notorious for it. But now, after everything, he knew he would never do that to anyone.
Especially not Kacey.
He wanted her, his happily ever after. And after everything he had been through, changing himself completely, sobering up, he saw things in a different light. His mom issue was still loud and clear, but he was working on it. He wasn’t done with himself. He still had a lot of work to do, but the great thing about Kacey was that she wouldn’t hold him back—she’d lift him up. And he needed that lift from her. He was ready. At least he thought he was. Hoped he was. Prayed he was.
Letting out a long breath, his nerves getting the best of him, his phone vibrated with a text.
It was Natasha.
Natasha: What’s up?
Tucking the Snickers bar in his pocket, he typed her back.
Jordie: Nothing much. About to get a massage.
Natasha: Mm. Sounds like fun.
Jordie: It will be. U?
Natasha: Nothing much, just saving people.
Jordie: You do it the best. Make sure not to get trapped in the shower with a hockey player with a busted leg. I hear they are trouble.
Natasha: haha. Trouble, indeed. But no worries, you’re the only hockey player I’ll blow in a shower.
Jordie grimaced a little. He’d kind of brought that on himself, but he was trying to be funny. Trying to keep it light with her. He liked his friendship with Natasha, but lately, ever since he’d told her about Kacey and the baby, she had been coming at him hard with sex. Basically serving herself up on a silver platter for him. Old Jordie would have jumped in dick first, but new Jordie had his dick and mind set on another.
Jordie: Good to know.
Natasha: Want me to come and visit? Meet in a shower? At least the busted leg won’t be a factor this time. We could do new things.
Well, then.
Jordie: As great as that sounds, I told ya I’m trying to get Kacey back.
Natasha: Yeah, but I thought she’s ignoring you, dating someone else? Why wait for someone that doesn’t want you?
He hated when she did that. Turned hateful when things didn’t go her way. She was a prideful woman, he knew that, but he’d never promised her anything. He hadn’t promised anyone anything. Hence why he’d pushed the girl he loved away.
Jordie: So? That won’t stop me. You know how much she means to me, I want her to be mine.
When she didn’t text him back right away, he shook his head, tucking his phone back in his pocket. He valued their friendship—she was a godsend through rehab—but he had to be honest. He wouldn’t lie to her and lead her on. Pulling his phone back out, he checked it for a text, but nothing. Letting out a long breath, he texted her once more.
Jordie: Don’t be mad. I’m trying to be honest.
Natasha: Whatever. She wasn’t there for you and I was.
Jordie: Because I didn’t allow her to be.
He waited but nothing. Yup, she was officially pissed. Shaking his head, he tucked his phone into his pocket and figured that he wouldn’t send her an invite to his and Kacey’s wedding. He was pretty sure Natasha wouldn’t come.
Hell, he wasn’t even sure Kacey would come.
Ugh. The drama.
“Who you waiting on?” Karson said, bringing his attention up from his phone.
“Kacey,” he answered and Karson nodded.
“Awesome. I don’t have time to wait, so I’ll get Dave, mainly since the thought of my sister touching my groin is gross.”
Jordie snickered since he thought quite the opposite. “Maybe for you.”
Karson gave him a sideways glance. “Don’t be a douche. But on that note, what’s going on with you two? She won’t even look at you or anything. You two used to be two peas in a pod, messing with each other and flirting and shit. You piss her off?”
“You could say that,” Jordie mumbled, and he knew that it was the time to come clean. Tell Karson that he loved Kacey, but this wasn’t the time or place. He really needed to sit down with him and apologize for hurting his sister. He wanted to wait until she was on his side, but he may need to do it before. Because he felt like shit lying to his best friend. Shrugging his shoulders, Jordie said, “Probably. You know how she is.”
Karson laughed just as Dave came out, beckoning him in. “She’s as prickly as a cactus for sure, but don’t be an asshole to her. She’s emotional as shit lately. See ya at the house.”
Jordie nodded as Karson disappeared inside before taking a deep breath in. Karson would flip his shit if he knew that Kacey was being emotional because of his stupid mistakes. Maybe he should have told him right there, just for the fact that there would be more witnesses.
Because he was going to need them.
Just as he went to pull out his phone, Shea came out, stretching his arms over his head. He looked over at Jordie and then pointed at him.
“We still good for Sunday?”
Jordie nodded. “Yup.”
“Good, Shelli is begging to see you.”
“Can’t wait,” he said with a grin.
“Okay, you’re up. See ya tomorrow.”
“Bye, Cap,” Jordie called as he went in. Kacey’s back was to him as she washed her hands. She was wearing some wind pants and a tight black tank, her hair in a mini little ponytail. He liked that she had grown her hair out—she looked gorgeous no matter what—but he liked to have something to pull when he was pounding into her. He always lost his grip with how short her hair was before.
“Lie down, I’ll be with yo—” She stopped when she turned, seeing who was awkwardly standing in her doorway, and her eyes narrowed.
Jordie quickly held his hands up, showing the Snickers. “I come bearing gifts, and plus, I really need my leg rubbed down. And who better than the girl who helped rehab it a bit.”
She wanted to say no, he could see it in her eyes, but then her eyes fell to his leg and the Snickers and he knew he was in. There was a commercial for the chocolaty goodness that said, “You’re not yourself when you’re hungry,” and that was Kacey. He always said she got “hangry” all the time. You had to feed the beast or she would eat you. Plus, she couldn’t say no to food.
Shaking her head, she said, “Fine, lie down and don’t talk. Put the Snickers on my desk.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, doing as she said before removing his shorts. Lying bellydown on the table, he watched as she continued to wash her hands, working her lips. He hated how worried she looked, almost as if it were taking everything out of her to be there with him at that moment. He loved how easy it was before. They’d only had to look each other and they’d know. But back then, it was too much for him to handle. It was scary how easy it was to be with her.
He hadn’t been ready.
But he was now.
He went to say something but then remembered she didn’t want him to talk. Biting his lip, he watched as she grabbed a pair of gloves, which confused him.
“What’s up with the gloves?” he asked and she sent him a look.
“I refuse to get slut on my hands,” she snapped back. “And didn’t I tell you not to talk to me? Because I don’t have to do this.”
“You don’t have to be so bitchy about it,” he grumbled and her head fell to the side.
“Oh, I don’t? Maybe you should have thought about that before you took my heart, threw it on the ice, and then slap shot it against the boards. Blood, guts, and pride flying through the air.”
Yup, she might as well have hit him. Her eyes said so much. Held so much pain. Nodding, he swallowed around the lump in his throat. “Great hockey analogy.”
“I thought so,” she agreed, coming to the table and then pressing her hands to his thigh. He was expecting her touch to bring back the greatest memories of his life. Instead, the gloves basically ripped out the hairs on his thigh as she started to move her talented fingers along his tired muscles. “Now, shut up.”
“Before I shut up, can you lose the gloves? They are ripping the hair out of my legs.” He grimaced, twitching side to side, trying to get away from her hands.
“Oh, does it hurt?” she asked condescendingly, twisting his leg hairs under her fingers.
“Yeah,” he said flatly. “Lose them and the attitude. You’re acting like a scorned teenager.”
Her hands stopped and then he was hollering out in pain. “Dammit, Kacey!” he cried out, covering the spot where she’d just ripped out a chunk of his hair with her hand.
She looked at him innocently before dropping the chunk of hair. “Oh, my bad.”
He only glared as she pulled the gloves off before throwing them in the trash. “You better hope I don’t get slut on me.”