by Toni Aleo
“It doesn’t,” he snapped and she nodded. “And I don’t think you are. You just needed someone to keep you warm till he came back.”
“Um, no. We broke up like nine months ago and we’d only been together two months, so please don’t think that of me.”
“You made the bed, now lie in it,” he snapped back and Kacey took a cleansing breath in. She wouldn’t let this dude make her feel like shit. She was guilty and hated what she did to him, but she never lied. She never told him she loved him when she didn’t. He was upset and trying to keep his pride. She understood that, but it was time for him to go.
“I’m really sorry, Liam. I am. And like I said, I wish you the best. Some woman will be really happy to be with you.”
“Yeah, and let’s pray she isn’t a heartbreaking whore like you,” he sneered, and she’d never expected him to actually say the words he’d been insinuating. That shocked her, but what didn’t shock her was the speed of Jordie’s fist as it smashed into Liam’s pretty face.
“Jordie!” she yelled as Karson wrapped his arms around him.
“Say what you want about me, dickface, but you will not talk to her like that,” Jordie yelled as Liam covered his mouth, in obvious pain.
“Really? You had to hit him?” she yelled as Karl pushed Liam out the door, slamming it.
“Yes! He won’t talk to you like that,” he yelled, trying to get past Karson, but this time he actually held him back.
“You are acting like a child!”
“I’m protecting you!”
“Oh please, you’re just jealous.”
“You’re fucking right, I am!” he yelled back and, for some reason, she was surprised by that. Breaking out of Karson’s hold, Jordie spoke quickly and with conviction, holding her gaze. “That asshole touched you, kissed you, and was a part of your life when that’s all I wanted. So yeah, I’m jealous, and yeah, I’m acting like a child because I don’t fucking like sharing! You know this.”
“I think it’s safe for me to leave,” Karson said, but Kacey wasn’t listening to him, her eyes locked with Jordie’s. His chest was rising quickly, up and down, probably matching hers. She thought she heard her dad say something, but she couldn’t get over the pain in Jordie’s eyes.
“Jordie, I’m with you.”
“But he mattered enough for you to be with and to try to forget me. Do you know what it was like to watch the woman I love with someone else?”
“Doubt it was easy, but do you know how hard it was to be left behind like a piece of trash with no explanation at all? While you were off trying to forget me? Both of us are guilty of it. Just let it go and move on.”
His shoulders dropped as he shook his head. Looking up at her, he asked, “Do you forgive what I did, Kacey? Honestly? You say you have, but when you say shit like that, it’s hard to believe.”
She eyed him, and she couldn’t believe he was asking that. If she hadn’t forgiven him, then why was she with him? “Yes, Jordie, but I haven’t forgotten.”
He nodded, his eyes not leaving hers. “I get that, and I completely understand, but you are throwing it in my face. I know what I did was wrong, and I’ve apologized. You don’t have to remind me.”
Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she couldn’t believe this was happening. Because she was pretty sure they were fighting. “I am sorry for doing that. You’re right, that was wrong. But you just punched my ex and then tried to make me feel bad for being with him!”
“I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, Kacey. I am upset that he meant something to you.”
“Oh my God, he didn’t! You do!”
He shook his head. “No, you don’t get what I’m trying to say,” he stressed, his eyes wild as he held her gaze. “I know I fucked up, and I hate that. It hurts me, maybe not as much as it does you since you were the one that I did it to. But it does, and I don’t want to think about it anymore. I want to look at our future, not our past. But we gotta let go of all of it if we are gonna succeed.”
“Exactly, so don’t go postal and punch exes.”
“Don’t bring said exes in the house and allow them to call you a whore.”
“’Cause I could control that,” she snapped, complete fed up with their argument. “Why are we arguing about this? We’ve been together maybe four hours now, and in that time, we’ve gotten back together, screwed each other’s brains out, and now fought. If this is a peek of what’s to come, Jesus help us!”
“I’m not fighting. I’m telling you how it is.”
Glaring, she took a step toward him, taking ahold of his shirt and yanking him down to her level. “Fine. Then let me tell you how it is, Jordie Scott Thomas. I love you. You only. Yes, I haven’t forgotten everything that happened, and I probably never will. But I promise I won’t ever bring it back up as long as you promise never to throw Liam in my face. He meant nothing. He was more a friend than anything. So let it go, and I’ll work on letting go of what happened.”
Cupping the back of her neck, he snaked his arm around her waist, his mouth only inches away from hers. His chest was rising and falling quickly against hers, his eyes searching hers before he slowly nodded. “Deal.”
“Deal,” she said just as his mouth dropped to hers. Wrapping her arms around his chest, she deepened the kiss as his heart pounded against her. She loved how strong and loud it felt against her body. It was her home and she knew that the whole thing with Liam upset him, but it would never measure up to the pain she felt being without him. He was a man though, and he was proud too. She knew it dented his ego to see her with Liam, but it didn’t matter anymore.
They had each other.
As she pulled away, his eyes bored into hers. They were full of so much remorse, so much pain, and she hated that. Cupping his face, she shook her head and asked, “This won’t be easy, will it? You and me, it’s gonna be work.”
He scoffed. “It wasn’t before; I doubt it will be now. So are you sure? Because you can try to get out, but I don’t think I’ll let you,” he said, his arms tightening around her to reiterate what he was saying.
She didn’t even have to think about it as her face broke into a grin. With all the love in the world for this broken, beautiful man, she whispered, “I don’t even want to try to live life without you again.”
“Good, I wasn’t gonna let you anyway,” he said, kissing her top lip. “Now, let’s eat.”
“Please,” she almost begged before he led her to the counter where they sat down and started to eat the food that had already begun to get cold again. Neither of them cared though; they were both famished. They ate in comfortable silence, but he finished first, like always. He ate as if someone was going to steal his plate. She found it quite comical and annoying because usually he tried to steal her food.
As if on cue, he reached for one of her green beans and she stabbed him with her fork, shaking her head at him as she brought her plate closer to her. “You know I don’t share food.”
“Stingy,” he threw back and she stuck her tongue out at him. As she devoured the moistest chicken on earth, her phone dinged with a notification. Looking down at it, she saw it was a Facebook friend request from one Jordie Thomas. She felt him staring at her, and she grinned as she clicked a few times, accepting his friendship.
And more.
“Aw, cool, we’re friends now,” he teased, but she rolled her eyes before continuing to eat and fighting her grin.
“Yeah, you won’t have to stalk me through Karson’s account.”
“Thank God,” he muttered as she went back to eating.
When her phone dinged again, she glanced down to see that Jordie Thomas had said he was in a relationship with her. It asked if she accepted his relationship and she smiled before pressing Confirm.
Glancing over at him, her fork pressed against her bottom lip, she said, “We are for real now, Mr. Thomas. It’s Facebook official. The world knows.”
He grinned back at her, sliding his hand up her thigh. “Y
up, no going back now,” he teased and she grinned.
Leaning in, his lips pressed to hers and she couldn’t agree more. But really, there was never really any going back when you loved a person like Jordie Thomas.
He consumed you.
And she was completely okay with that.
“You’re supposed to watch the movie,” Kacey complained as Jordie scrolled through the realty site, looking at apartments.
Looking over at her, he shrugged. “Baby, I’ve seen this movie a billion times. You know I don’t like it.”
She grinned. “It’s a great movie,” she countered, but he didn’t agree. Not even a little bit. He didn’t even understand why she loved Notting Hill. Yeah, Julia Roberts was a classic beauty, but come on, the movie sucked.
“It really isn’t,” he said and she gave him a flat look.
“And why not?”
“She’s a bitch. And he’s a schmuck.”
“It’s sweet! She’s damaged from the spotlight and he’s clueless. It’s adorable,” she complained, but he just shook his head.
“Watch your movie, Kace, I’ll just lie here and look at stuff on my phone.”
“If you don’t want to watch it, then why are you in here?”
He looked from his phone to her. “For the ice cream. Give me another bite.”
She pursed her lips at him, and he shot her a grin before she directed the spoon in his mouth. “Plus, you’ll be all hot and bothered and feeling all romantic after it’s over, so I’m bound to get laid.”
“Pig.”
Leaning closer, he snorted in her ear, nuzzling her and causing her to giggle before pushing him away. Grinning, he fell back against the pillows as she cuddled in closer to him.
“What are you looking at?” she asked after a moment.
“Apartments.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, as soon as I sign my new contract, I’m gonna move out. I told Karson that when I came back. I’m sure they want their house back.”
She paused her movie and leaned on his shoulder, looking down at his phone as he went through each apartment. “Are you gonna stay close to Karson?”
He shrugged. “Not sure yet.”
“Do you want an apartment or a house? I mean, you don’t plan on leaving, do you?”
“Not really. I wanna retire here,” he admitted and she nodded.
“I know, so why don’t you just buy a house?”
“A house might be too big for just me,” he suggested, curious to see what she would say to that.
“You could get a dog,” she said and he smiled.
“I could,” he agreed.
“And I might come visit.”
“Just a visit?” he asked and she looked up at him.
“Um, yeah, you still haven’t taken me on a date,” she said and he laughed.
“I got you tomorrow,” he decided and she grinned before looking back down at his phone. Taking it from him, she clicked a few things and then gave it back.
“If I were to come visit, I’d want to visit a house in this neighborhood.”
Fighting his grin, he said, “Good idea.”
Clicking through each house, they found something in each that neither of them cared for. He realized they essentially wanted the same thing. A huge kitchen, a huge yard, and a master bedroom with at least four other bedrooms. When one that was down the road came up, she looked up at him. “That’s a nice house.”
“It is,” he agreed, clicking through each picture. It was almost the same layout as Karson and Lacey’s, and the price wasn’t too frightening. “It’s huge just for me and a dog.”
“Yeah, but maybe you’ll get married and have some kids?”
Scoffing, he looked down at her as she looked up at him. “I’ll buy it tomorrow if you’ll move in with me.”
She eyed him and then looked away. “We are going on six hours, Jordie. You can’t get me back, have mind-blowing sex, punch my ex, fight with me, and then ask me to move in.”
“I think I asked before the punching of the ex happened,” he corrected her and she shot him a salty look.
“Don’t be so literal. Give us a little time before we jump into something like that.”
“Okay, answer me this—will we be sleeping alone from this point forward?”
Her eyes narrowed. “That’s not fair. I like sleeping with you.”
“Oh, I do too, which is why I won’t be sleeping without you unless I’m on the road. But at least this way, we can do it as loud as we want and anywhere we want.”
She shook her head. “Let me sleep on that,” she decided and he nodded.
“Fine, I don’t sign my contract till Friday.”
“I’ll have an answer by then,” she agreed.
“Good,” he said just as a text message came through, surprising him. It was late, who was texting him? The sound caught Kacey’s attention, her eyes moving to the screen as he clicked on his message.
Mom: Jordie, honey! I haven’t heard from you. Remember I am your mother and you have to call me every once in a while. But anyway, call me tomorrow when you wake up! I have great news.
His stomach twisted in anguish as he deleted the text, shutting off his phone. Silence stretched as Kacey’s fingers tapped against his chest.
“Have you talked to her lately?”
He shook his head, feeling her gaze on him. “No.”
“Does she know about you going to rehab?”
“Nope, I only told your family.”
“Ma and Dad knew?”
“Yeah, your mom even came and brought me cookies a time or two,” he said, hating that his own mother didn’t even think to do something like that or even ask if he was okay. She didn’t care about him. The only time she cared was when it was beneficial to her.
“Are you going to call her?”
“No,” he decided, tossing his phone on the nightstand. “Push play, let’s watch this stupid movie.”
But she didn’t move. Pushing the blankets off them, she climbed on top of him, and instantly his hands came to her ass. “Or we can do this.”
Cupping his face, she let her gaze bore into his. There wasn’t any lust in her eyes, only determination. “Are you okay?”
“No,” he admitted. “She fucks with my head.”
“I know and I’m sorry. Don’t call her, okay? Please?”
“I won’t.”
“Okay, and don’t let it bother you. You have my mom and dad and Karson.”
“And you,” he said, his hands sliding up her back, underneath her shirt, to bring her down to him. “And that’s all I need.”
“I know it hurts though. I know how much you want her love.”
He shrugged. “Can’t miss what you never had though.”
Her eyes turned sad as she dropped her forehead to hers. “I’m gonna make up for the love she doesn’t give you.”
“You already do, Kacey,” he whispered as her nose moved along his. “You love enough for the world.”
She gave him a faint smile before shaking her head. “I’m sorry she sucks.”
“Not everyone has perfect parents like you, Kacey. It’s not your fault, don’t worry about it,” he said, but as soon as he said it, he regretted it. It was something he would have said before, when he’d brush off the hurt his mother caused and pick up the bottle. Kacey knew that though; she knew him and his antics, and soon her eyes narrowed as she held his gaze.
“Don’t push me away.”
“I’m not trying to,” he said sternly. “I just don’t want to talk about someone who doesn’t even love me.”
“Talking about it might make the pain stop,” she suggested and he shook his head.
“It won’t. It just reminds me of the craptastic family life I have,” he said and her mouth turned down. “The fact that my mother doesn’t love me, I have no clue who my dad is, and hey, I have nine stepdads, but still no siblings to be just as fucked up as me.”
As she threaded her fi
ngers into his hair, he closed his eyes, hating that he’d unloaded like that. She didn’t need to hear all that; it showed his weakness. He hated how much pain his mother brought to him with only one text. All his progress felt like nothing. She could honestly drive him to drinking all over again, but as soon as the thought came, Kacey pressed her lips to his. Just as quickly as he’d wanted a drink, he wanted her more. Rolling her over so that he was on top, he pulled away, looking down into her beautiful face.
Her eyes were on him, her chest rising and falling as her eyes searched his. “You’re not trying to have sex with me to replace your cravings are you?”
He could lie. It would be so easy, but he knew he couldn’t. “Yes.”
“Okay,” she said with a nod. “At least you know what you’re doing.”
“But it isn’t okay, is it?” he asked and she shrugged.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “That’s something you need to ask your therapist. But for now, use me, Jordie, though also know I’m here to talk. That I’ll listen till you can’t talk anymore. I’ll always be here. For whatever you need.”
“I have nothing to say about her,” he said, his eyes closing as he pressed his nose to hers. “I’m just so mad at her, but I can’t hate her.”
“I know,” she whispered.
“She constantly hurts me.”
“I know,” she said once more. “Want me to kick her ass?”
He smiled against her lips and shook his head. “Wouldn’t be worth it. She wouldn’t understand why. In her mind, she does right by me.”
“But she doesn’t. I know that, and so do you.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “But why does her rejection still hurt?”
“It hurts because it matters. Unfortunately, she doesn’t realize what she is doing to you, and until you tell her, it won’t ever get better.”