by Toni Aleo
She shot him a wry look as he laughed from the gut, Lacey only snickering as she shook her head. Putting the nipple on Mena’s bottle, she handed it to him. “Try to keep the laughing to a minimum. I don’t want my baby to have shaken baby syndrome.”
He scoffed, taking the bottle and kissing her cheek. “Are you reading this stuff? It’s classic.”
Walking away, he let out another gut-busting laugh and Kacey rolled her eyes. “He’s a dork.”
“That is very true,” Lacey agreed, cleaning the counter before leaning against it. “But the status is cute. It’s weird seeing you two so lovey-dovey after you almost murdered him in the living room however many weeks ago.”
Kacey shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, but it’s good, right? Like, you don’t think we are rushing it?”
Lacey shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t ask me about rushing. I married your brother after seeing him for the first time in like nine years. Not sure I’m the right person for advice on that. I mean, some people said I was crazy,” she said with a grin. “But if it helps, I wouldn’t change a thing.”
Kacey smiled as she nodded. “It’s just been so perfect. Like we laugh constantly, and when we aren’t laughing, we are doing it, and when we aren’t doing it, he’s telling me he loves me. And God, Lacey, I waited so long to hear those words leave his mouth that I find myself absorbing them, just in case he stops telling me. It’s like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for all this good to just evaporate.”
Holding her gaze, Lacey said, “It will.”
Kacey’s mouth dropped open, shocked. “What the hell do you mean? Do you think we won’t last?”
Lacey shook her head. “No, Kace, I think y’all are solid, there is so much love between you two. But you have to remember, he is recovering. He is finding his footing in this thing called sobriety. His go-to was to drink when he was mad, hurt, or sad. Now he is having to find new outlets. But the thing is, he chose you to make this journey with him.”
“I know that,” Kacey agreed. “And I won’t let him do it alone.”
“Right, but with the good comes the bad. And while, yeah, it’s too good to be true right now, and you are living the life you want, it won’t last. He’s gonna hit a bad spell, and that’s when you need to worry. Because will you be able to be the rock he needs? Don’t look at me like that!” she shrieked then, and Kacey held her hands out.
“You’re freaking me out!” she accused, but Lacey shook her head. “I know all this, but you are making it seem like I can’t handle it, which is making me second-guess myself.”
“I’m just saying that when it’s sunny, it’s great. But it’s how you weather the storm. So enjoy the good now, because there’s no telling when the storm will come thundering through your life, and you’ll be left holding on with everything inside of you,” she said with more conviction. “You are so strong, Kacey, and Jordie knows this; he feeds off you and loves you something insane. And I know you love him, but my thing is, don’t overthink this. Enjoy it, love him, and when it gets bad, then you’ll be ready. But why wait for the possible impending doom? It won’t do anything but stress you out.”
Deadpan, she asked, “Impending doom?”
Lacey shrugged, not even smiling. “He is hard-set on not relapsing, Kacey, but do you know the statistics on that? Hardly a single alcoholic makes it through the first year without failing at least once.”
Panicking a little bit, Kacey looked wide-eyed at her. “So you think he will? Do you think I’m crazy for being with him?” she asked and, really, she wasn’t sure why she asked. It didn’t matter what Lacey thought. She wasn’t going to leave Jordie. She believed in him, loved him, and would stand beside him no matter what.
“I don’t know, and no, I don’t think you’re crazy. I know how much you care for him, how long you’ve been in love with him. I just hope and pray that he doesn’t let you down. Let all of us down. But alcoholism, it’s really a disease, such a scary sickness.”
Kacey couldn’t agree more. “He’s got this though, I know he does.”
“I hope so,” Lacey agreed. “It worries me because, if he does fail, I know what that will do to you if he doesn’t pick himself right back up. And that scares me. You’re invested to the extreme. No matter how much you try to hold that back and control it, you are, Kacey. And I really don’t want to see y’all crash and burn.”
Letting out a long breath, Kacey leaned on her hand. “This is a really reassuring talk. Thanks.”
Sensing her sarcasm, Lacey smiled. “I told him the same thing, but he promised me he wouldn’t hurt you, and I want to believe him. I do believe him. It’s just the statistics are against him.”
“But Jordie isn’t a statistic,” Kacey decided. “He’s above that, you’ll see.”
“I really do hope so, and I hope that you guys get married and have babies and move out of here,” she said with a teasing grin, and Kacey smiled despite not really wanting to.
All week she had been living in a little fantasy world, but then Lacey came along and didn’t scare her, per se, but she did worry her. Everything she said was everything Kacey had thought, but hearing it from Lacey validated her fears. So many things could go wrong, but Kacey didn’t really care. She’d be there—it was that simple. Like before, she knew going in what Jordie was about, and she loved him anyway. He wasn’t an easy man to love, but his love was worth it and she wasn’t going to let go of that.
“He hasn’t invited me to AA groups or even therapy, but he takes Karson. My feelings shouldn’t be hurt, should they?”
“Do you want to go?” Lacey asked, looking up from her phone, smiling. “They are crazy,” she said, pointing down to it and Kacey rolled her eyes.
“Focus, Lacey,” she snapped and Lacey laid her phone down.
“Right. Now, do you want to go?”
“Yes.”
“Tell him that,” she said simply. “Jordie isn’t shy when it comes to that kind of stuff, plus I’m sure he wants you to go.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, leaning to the side to stretch her back as Lacey picked her phone back up and then laughed.
“Jordie just said that they’re all just mad ’cause he’s hung like a horse and they traded their dicks for strollers,” she snorted and slapped her hand against the counter. “Such dorks.”
“Right? I’m dying,” Karson said as he entered the kitchen, Mena tucked in his arms. Lately, you didn’t see Karson without Mena. It was adorable, but when Lacey told Kacey he was sad he was going to have to leave Mena when they went on road trips, it kind of broke her heart. He was such a good daddy.
Leaning against each other, Karson and Lacey looked on their phones, both of them laughing and looking like the poster couple for Better Homes and Gardens magazine. She was tempted to look too, but glancing at the clock, she saw that Jordie would be home soon and he’d want an answer. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to live with him—she pretty much already did—she just felt like it was too soon. But then, looking up, she saw the pillar of the love she wanted. They seriously got married like two or three days after seeing each other in however many years. They did rush into it, and Lacey even left him at one point, but Karson would be damned if she was going to leave him without a fight. He went up and got his woman, and Kacey knew in her heart that Jordie would do the same thing. So what was holding her back?
“Jordie asked me to move in with him.”
They looked up at her, both with quizzical expressions on their faces. Shrugging, Karson said, “Okay?”
“What did you say?” Lacey asked.
“I told him I didn’t know. It just seems fast.”
“Fast?” Karson scoffed. “We got married right away, and when I came back here, I was living with Jordie. Kind of forgot to tell you that, too,” he laughed, but Lacey shot him a dark look.
“Those damn tissues,” she said, shaking her head. “But yeah, and we’re good, Kacey.”
“You know people do this every
day. They meet, they know, and, boom! Married.”
“I just thought it would take longer than this,” she said with a shrug. “It all seems like it’s happening and it’s great, but then it will all disappear and I’ll be heartbroken again.”
Lacey made a face as Karson shrugged. “And if it does, at least you tried.”
“Kacey, have you talked to Jordie about this? I mean, you don’t sound very sure about you two. Maybe you need him to, I don’t know, reassure you?”
She shrugged, leaning against her hand. “No, he has. It’s me. I’m just scared.”
“Stop being a pussy,” Karson barked at her. “It’s not cute and also not you. You wanted to be with him, right?”
“Right,” she agreed.
“Then stop worrying or you’re gonna be the one to mess it up, not him and his issues. You, with your worrying,” he explained. “The thing is, I know Jordie. I know what he wants, and that’s you. If you don’t feel the same, then you need to let him know.”
“I do want him,” she snapped back. “God, shut up!”
“Then you shut up,” he yelled and she glared.
“Asshole.”
“Crybaby,” he shot back, kissing Mena’s head. “Stop being a baby and go for what you want. You two have been sleeping in the same room all week, so why not get a place of your own so us normal-sex folks can enjoy some peace.”
Kacey scoffed. “Please, I know you two are freaks,” she accused, and Karson shrugged as Lacey feigned shock.
“We are not,” she said, and Kacey laughed.
“Whatever, and please spare me the details,” she said, holding up her hand and letting her shoulders drop. “But I think here is a safety net. If it goes bad, I have you two.”
“Well, sweetheart, there comes a time in everyone’s life when they grow up and leave Mom and Dad. We love you, and we’ve—”
“Fuck off, Karson!” she yelled, throwing the cap to her water bottle. “I’m just nervous is all.”
“Like I said, it’s called growing up. You know, that thing you wanted to do? And, oh shit, it’s with someone you actually like, so put your big-girl panties on and be happy. I don’t see why you are bitching, it makes no sense. You’ve always wanted this.”
Biting her lip, she shrugged. “I just never thought I’d get it with him,” she said, looking up at them.
“But you are, so live, Kacey. ’Cause some people don’t get this, and Jordie has worked hard to be the guy you want, so don’t hold back on him, y’know?” Karson asked. “’Cause I’ll kick your ass if you hurt him.”
Kacey’s face scrunched at him as Lacey giggled. “That’s so not what a dude says about another dude.”
“Um, excuse me, but Jordie is my BFF, like foreva,” he said, sounding like a Valley girl and Lacey and Kacey snickered.
“It’s true though, he’s my ride-or-die dude,” Jordie said, surprising everyone. Kacey’s heart jumped up into her throat at the thought of him hearing about her uncertainty, and when his gaze met hers, she knew he had.
Shit.
“What’s going on?” he asked. “Family meeting?”
Before she could say anything, Karson said, “No, she’s a scared little brat, thinking that you two are going to fail.”
Well, if he didn’t know before, he knew now.
Rolling her eyes, she let out a long breath. “Wow, thanks, Karson,” she said, her face burning, but Karson just shrugged.
“No problem. Come on, baby, let’s give them some privacy,” he said, pulling Lacey out of the kitchen despite her protests.
“Do you want me to leave?” Lacey asked, but Kacey shrugged as Karson pulled her.
“Do I have a choice?” she asked and Lacey shook her head.
“Don’t think so,” she called back as he directed her down the hall.
“Jerk,” she called at Karson, but he ignored her, shutting Mena’s door.
“So you don’t want to be around me alone?” Jordie asked, tucking his hands in his pockets. “That’s weird.”
She shook her head. “No, come here. I missed you,” she said, closing the distance between them before snaking her arms around his waist and kissing his lips. But he didn’t kiss her back. “You’re mad.”
“Nope, just wondering what’s going on,” he said simply. “You breaking up with me?”
“No,” she said automatically. “Not even thinking that.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
“Just nervous,” she admitted. “It’s all so scary because it’s everything I want.”
A mystified look came over his face as he shook his head. “Yeah, I have no clue what to say to that.”
“I don’t even know what to say,” she admitted, leaning her forehead to his. “But don’t worry about it.”
“No, I will worry about it,” he said, lifting her chin with his finger. “What do I have to do to ease your concerns?”
She shrugged. “I have no clue,” she said and she was being honest. She didn’t know what he could do to fix her worries. It was all on her. She either believed in them or she didn’t.
“I can’t fix it if you don’t tell me what it is.”
Looking up at him, she bit her lip. She needed to get a grip. This man was here, he was hers, and what else did she want? How much more reassurance did she need? He had become the man he felt she deserved. He woke up every morning with a grin on his face and I love you falling off his lips. He looked at her like she was the Stanley Cup and he couldn’t keep his hands off her. He loved her and that’s what she wanted. She needed to stop creating problems in her head. They had the potential to have loads of them, so she needed to enjoy right now, like Lacey said.
“Don’t do anything,” she said, looking up at him. “Except get the computer so we can look at houses.”
His face didn’t change like she thought it would. His eyes were still trained on hers, his breathing hard. “Really?”
“Yeah, I just never thought I’d have you, and I’m still waiting to wake up,” she admitted, and his lips curved up at the side before his arms wrapped around her.
“You’re not dreaming, baby,” he whispered against her lips. “This is real. This is our life.”
Our life.
He was so invested, so sure, and she knew she was too, but still, she worried.
And she wasn’t sure if it was a survival tactic to prepare for the worst.
Or if it was really her subconscious telling her they weren’t going to last.
Either way, she wrapped her arms tighter around his waist and decided that she wouldn’t make him worry. Her fears would buff out and everything would be fine.
She hoped.
Squaring off in front of Jordie, Kacey set her stick to the ice and grinned.
“The name of the game is I win, you lose,” he teased and she laughed.
“Other way around, buddy,” she called out around her mouthguard as she stretched out her neck. “You’re going down.”
He gave her a dismissive look and shook his head. “Don’t hurt yourself, sweetie,” he called, moving the puck back and forth. “Now, when I win, we go to the three houses I like first. You win, we go to yours.”
They had spent the last couple of nights looking at different houses and talking to a Realtor. Kacey was excited to see what they had picked out in person but really excited to know that they’d be staying in Karson and Lacey’s neighborhood. Especially since her parents had just bought the house next door to them, despite Karson’s protests. She was glad that they bought before she and Jordie did. Knowing her dad, he’d pick her to move next door to, and there was no way in hell she could deal with her father on a daily basis. She loved her daddy, very much so, but he was loud and liked to tell her what she should be doing.
First, it would be the lawn, then what color the shutters should be, then he’d be redecorating their house. And the next thing you knew, he’d be naming their children. Then, Lord, her mother would be over every day cleaning and teachi
ng her how to cook, while making them both fat with all the food she prepared. Nope, Karl and Regina King could stay right next to her big brother and his wife. Then again, physical distance couldn’t keep them out of her way before, so she doubted a few streets over would keep them at bay. Might as well get used to the idea of them poking their noses into their business. Thankfully, Jordie loved them as much as she did.
But that didn’t matter today. No, this morning, Jordie was going down.
When he shot her a grin, she glared, placing her hand on her hip as she held her stick loosely in her hand. “Stop talking so much and let’s do this. Post shots?”
He nodded. “Take it back to the line if you get possession,” he reminded her and she nodded. “First to three, wins.”
“Fine, drop it,” she said, moving her mouthguard back in her mouth. He looked deep into her eyes and when he puckered a kiss at her, she was seconds from smacking him with her stick. Finally, he dropped the puck. Taking it off the draw, she sailed past him, hitting the brakes when she heard him behind her. Like she wanted, he hit her hip, going headfirst into the ice. Not letting that faze her, she took the shot, hitting it off the crossbar.
“One for me!” she cheered before getting the puck to pass to him. But he was still lying on the ice.
“That was cheap,” he said, getting up, and she shrugged.
“I don’t play fair. I play to win.”
He nodded. “I see how this is going to go,” he said before taking the puck from her and then to the line. Toeing the ice, he took off, but she knew what he was going to do before he did and cut left as he did, spinning the puck away and going back to the line. Glaring at her, he shook his head.
“Bullshit, I’m still healing,” he tried and she laughed, moving the puck between her legs and back out.
“Bullshit, don’t get all pissy ’cause I’m gonna beat you,” she teased and his glare deepened. When she went left, he followed and she sent the puck through his legs, going around him to pick it up. She didn’t have the shot, so she went wide of the net, and when he barreled after her, she watched as it hit off the boards before coming to the slot. Lifting the puck, she hit the side of the post and grinned back at him.