by Toni Aleo
Going into their bedroom, he heard her moving around in the kitchen, probably cleaning up and getting Gretzky taken care of as he unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the chair that she said was her thinking chair. He hadn’t seen her sit in it yet, and it held more clothes than it ever had her butt for thinking, but who was he to say anything? Maybe he should have sat in the thinking chair and really rethought going to see his mother. Disgusted with himself, he threw off his slacks, tossing those too on the thinking chair as she entered the room, looking so damn worried that it killed him.
She didn’t need this stress. She was carrying their child, and he needed to get his shit together before he lost both of them because of his stupidity. Pulling the sheets back, he went to get in before she stopped him.
“Can you unzip me?” she asked, and when he looked over at her, he noticed her little sex-kitten look. He knew what she was doing, and any other time, he would have stripped her down and plowed into her, but not tonight. Without answering her, he stepped behind her, moving her hair before unzipping her dress and then climbing into the bed. He felt her gaze on him, but he ignored it, cuddling deeper into the bed as she moved around the room, doing her thing.
When she finally climbed into bed, she hit the light and then turned to face him, the moonlight shining on her beautiful face. As he looked deep into her dark eyes, he knew he wasn’t being the best man he could be for her. She was freaking out, working her lip, and he could feel the tension, the worry, rolling off her in waves. He had promised to do right by her, not only to Karson but to Karl too. Plus, he loved this girl. He didn’t want her to worry.
Reaching out, he cupped her face and whispered, “I’m sorry, Kacey.”
Her eyes widened as she shrugged. “What are you sorry for? It’s not your fault she’s a cunt. You should have let me kick her.”
He wanted to smile, he did, but instead, he ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “I let you down, and I apologize for that.”
Her brow rose. “So you drank?
He shook his head, confused. “No—”
“Then you didn’t let me down,” she said quickly, her eyes holding his. “If anything, Jordie, I’m proud of you. You stood up for yourself, you told her about herself, and you did it with grace. You didn’t lose your temper, you didn’t really cuss her out or even allow me to hit her. You were amazing and I’m so proud of you. And damn it, Jordie, I love you,” she reiterated, her eyes getting misty. His heart sped up in his chest. “In my eyes, you are strong, beautiful, and everything I want in a man. So don’t apologize. Please, don’t.”
He wanted to take her words and run, but he worried she’d said them just to make him feel better. But as soon as that thought came, he knew she wouldn’t do that. Kacey wasn’t a sugarcoating kind of girl. If she didn’t want to be honest, she just didn’t say anything. He knew this, so why didn’t he feel better?
Swallowing hard around the lump in his throat, he whispered, “I shouldn’t have gone.”
“You’re right. But do you feel better, knowing you let her have it and she won’t even be able to hurt you again?”
He did feel better on that aspect, but he was still embarrassed for how weak he felt, for allowing her to hurt him one more time. In the future, it wouldn’t happen. When he’d walked away from her tonight, he was done. The things she said, the pure hatred in her eyes, reminded him that this was not what he wanted in his life. This woman couldn’t continually put him down; she didn’t own him. He had to let her go, and to his surprise, knowing that he would never have to deal with her again was a relief.
Looking up, Jordie held Kacey’s face as he asked, “So you don’t think I’m weak?”
She shook her head quickly, hooking her leg over his hip before snuggling closer to him, her nose touching his. “The opposite, Jordie. I think you are strong.”
“But I keep allowing her to hurt me.”
“Kept, past tense. It won’t happen again,” she corrected him and he nodded, his nose moving along hers.
“You’re right,” he whispered, and her eyes softened as she wrapped her arms around his neck, coming closer to him.
“It’s good you are learning this now. Just don’t forget it when we fight over the last Oreo or something equally silly that couples argue about,” she teased and he smiled, his heart pounding in his chest.
“Deal,” he promised. “But the last Oreo is always mine.”
She scoffed. “Um, I’m carrying your child, the Oreo is mine.”
He held her gaze and then gave in to her. “You’re right.”
“Again, see that’s how I work,” she said, her lips curving as she squeezed him. “But really, Jordie, she doesn’t matter anymore. Let her go. I know it has to be hard, but just let go of that darkness. It can’t haunt you any longer. Not with me being here.”
He wouldn’t admit it again, but she was right. She was his light that would guide him through the darkness. No matter how clichéd and silly that sounded, it was the truth. All he needed was Kacey by his side, and he could conquer anything.
“Okay,” he whispered, his lips brushing against hers. “Then, thank you.”
She smiled as she nodded. “That’s better, and anytime, Jordie. I love you. The thing is, I never thought when I met you that you’d be this important to me, but you are. And I can guarantee you, you aren’t going anywhere without a fight. You’re in this for life.”
His grin spread across his face as his hand slid up her thigh and onto her stomach. “I think this is proof of that,” he teased and she smiled. “But Kacey, really, when I met you all those years ago back in Karson’s dorm, I didn’t know you’d be the best thing that ever happened to me.”
His life had completely altered because of her, and he wouldn’t change that for anything. He loved the man he was now—yeah, he felt down right now, but looking into her eyes, he knew that she’d help lift him back up. When her mouth turned up, his hands wrapped around her, pulling her even closer as their mouths met. As he kissed his woman, he realized that when he got his second chance with her, all he’d wanted was her love, but what he got was so much more.
A life worth living.
Leaning against the boards, Jordie watched as the puck sailed across the ice from Shea to Jayden before he threw it up to a waiting Baylor. The defense was on her though, blocking her pass, but they didn’t get far before Shea was blasting it past them all to the goalie. The Canucks’ goalie batted it away though, their defense grabbing it as the Assassins did a line change. Jordie should have been paying attention, but it was hard.
Because the seat across the rink that was for his mom was empty.
Phil sat there, in his whole Assassins getup, but his mom wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Not that he was looking for her, per se, but the little boy in him thought she’d still come to see him play. He figured he was getting what he asked for and he should be happy, yet it hurt. Why did he care? She didn’t add to his life, so she needed to be out of it, like Benji had said. He needed to let this go.
Especially when Coach smacked his back to go.
Going over the boards, he hauled ass across the ice to catch the puck from Karson after he skated around the net. Carrying the puck up the ice, he watched as his forwards got into position, and when he sent the puck up to Phillip, he waited at the blue line for a shot as the boys kept shooting at the goalie. He wasn’t letting anything in though. Glancing up at the clock, Jordie saw they only had two minutes before the game was over, and they were down by one.
Erik sent the puck back to Karson, and he sailed it over to Jordie without even looking at him, which he expected. Taking it, he shot, hard, but it went wide, coming around to Karson. Instead of shooting it though, he sent it back and Jordie shot again, and this time it went right over the goalie’s leg pad. Throwing his arms up, he pumped them in the air as Karson rushed to him, hugging him tightly.
“That’s fucking right!” Karson yelled as the other guys came up, hugging him too.
“Let’s win this!” Erik yelled, and everyone agreed as they skated toward the bench to smack hands with the rest of the team. As Jordie sat down, reaching for his Gatorade, he squirted it in his mouth, the adrenaline of scoring rushing through his body. He knew Kacey had to have seen it, but she was up in the boxes and it was hard to see up there sometimes. He still looked though, and as he expected, she was hopping up and down. He wanted to holler at her to sit down, but she looked so happy, her arms wrapped around Karl, whose face was bright too.
They were his family.
Squirting more in his mouth, he willed his eyes not to cut across the ice, but they did, and to his surprise, his mom was sitting there. On her phone as Phil stood, still clapping along with the rest of the fans. Looking away, he swallowed hard and shook his head. His eyes stung and he wanted to scream, but not now. If he knew one thing, it was that there was no crying in hockey unless you were lifting the Cup over your head. Even then it was kinda pussy-like, not that anyone cared.
As he threw his Gatorade back in its place, Karson’s hand came down hard on Jordie’s shoulder as he said, “Fuck her.”
Exactly.
“Yeah,” Jordie agreed, nodding his head, and he was ready to win this game. His feelings, his worries, and his hurt were all a thing of the past, because Stacey Thomas was nothing to him anymore. This moment proved it. There she was, on her phone, no cares at all for him. But then he glanced up at the box his real family sat in and saw they were all still standing, Kacey screaming her ass off. It was crazy how quickly things could change. Ten seconds ago, he’d wanted his mother’s approval; now, he just wanted her to disappear. Because he had his approval. It was in the form of a beautiful, tough girl with brown eyes, who loved him with all the fierceness in the world—along with her family who had taken him in.
Stacey Thomas may have his last name, but she would never have his heart again.
Not when Kacey King owned it.
Swallowing hard, he knew he was right, he knew he was making the right choice. As he looked up, he was ready to do what he did best: win. But the minutes weren’t his friends and they ran fast, thankfully with no score from the Canucks, which meant they were going into overtime.
Jordie was at his best in overtime. The feeling of losing it all if you didn’t score first gave him such a rush. He loved the all-or-nothing feel of it, and he kind of associated his recovery with the feeling that overtime gave him. He either won or he lost, there was no in-between.
And damn it, Jordie Thomas always wanted to win.
But even though they lost the game after a sick wrister from one of the twins on the other team, Jordie knew he wouldn’t lose in his quest for sobriety.
No matter what, he was going to win.
Kacey was almost bouncing on her heels in the parking garage as she waited for Jordie to come out. She was so proud of him, but she knew that even though he had scored, he’d be bummed they lost. It was a sick-ass shot though from one of the twins that caught Tate off guard. Still, it was a great game and he should be proud of himself. It was his first goal on home ice of the season and he was rocking it.
Even with his mom at the game.
Kacey had watched her the whole time. She only came to her seat every once in a while, but when she was there, she was looking at her phone the whole time. Kacey wanted to march down and kick her in the face, but her dad wouldn’t let her. Said she wasn’t worth it. She knew this, but she was pretty sure she’d feel better if she had. Turning to her father, she smiled as he leaned against Jordie’s truck, playing on his phone.
“Daddy, you don’t have to wait with me. It’s way past your bedtime.”
He laughed sarcastically before waving her off. “I’m not leaving you alone in a parking lot. I’ll catch a ride home with Karson, since your ma took Lacey and Mena home.”
“Okay,” she sang, leaning against the truck. “Thanks for waiting.”
He smiled over at her, tucking his phone in his pocket as he reached out, wrapping his arm around her neck and bringing her in tight. “How ya doing?”
“Good,” she answered, looking up at him, smiling. She loved her daddy.
“How’s my grandbaby?”
“Growing, I pray,” she said hopefully and he nodded.
“She’ll be good,” he promised and Kacey smiled, but then her smile dropped when she realized that he didn’t know about the miscarriage. No one did.
Clearing her throat, she asked, “Daddy, if I told you something, would you promise not to get mad and not to tell Ma?”
He eyed her and then nodded. “Yeah.”
Taking in a deep breath, she held on to his arms as she admitted, “This is my second pregnancy. The first one, I lost. That’s why I’m so nervous.”
His face didn’t move, and she wasn’t sure he was breathing as seconds passed. “When?”
“Right before the Olympics,” she said quietly, and he nodded.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t tell anyone. I just let it be. I had a medal to win, and I didn’t want you guys worrying about me or telling me to wait.”
He nodded once more. “That’s understandable, I guess, but I would have been there for you.”
“I know,” she answered softly. “But I had it.”
“My prideful, headstrong, bratty-ass little girl,” he said fondly, shaking his head. “Okay, fine, but you let that go, you hear me?”
She nodded. “I am trying.”
“Try harder,” he demanded. “The stress will eat ya alive, and you don’t need that.”
“I know.”
He then let out a long breath. “Was it Jordie’s?”
“Yeah,” she whispered and she felt him tense up.
“Man, that boy is lucky I love him,” Karl muttered and Kacey smiled.
“He’s not that person anymore.”
“Oh, I know,” he agreed. “’Cause if he was, he’d be dead.”
Kacey laughed at that as her daddy smiled, holding her closer. He kissed her temple and whispered, “You know you’re my favorite, right?”
She scoffed. “Liar.”
He grinned. “You are. So is Karson.”
She rolled her eyes, giggling until she heard a voice that she did not want to hear say, “Karl? Is that you?”
Her dad turned, taking Kacey with him as Stacey walked toward them with Phil beside her.
“Kacey?” she asked again, and then it must have dawned on her because she laughed. “That’s right, she’s your daughter.”
“That’s right,” Karl said, squeezing her. “What are you up to?”
“Well, since Phil got glass seats, we got private parking,” she said in a snooty way. “What are you doing?”
“Waiting for Jordie.”
She scoffed. “That son of mine hates me apparently,” she said offhandedly. “But whatever.”
Even with the façade she put on, Kacey could tell she was hurting, which surprised her.
“Well, if you treated him a little better, maybe he would like you,” Karl supplied and she gave him a dry look.
“You know, I should have never had kids anyway,” she said, letting out a long breath. “It’s fine. He’ll make it.”
Kacey bit the inside of her cheek, wanting to scream at her for not wanting to be in his life. For not loving him and doing right by him, but she knew it would be a waste of her breath.
“He will,” Karl agreed. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”
“Good luck with that. He’s all kinds of messed up,” she laughed. “He’s an ‘alcoholic,’” she added with air quotes, and something snapped inside of Kacey.
“Yes, he is, and instead of making fun of him, you should be proud because he is fighting it. He has completely changed, become the person he wanted to be with no help from anyone but himself. He is amazing, he is strong, and you are a fucking bitch for not seeing that!”
“Whoa, now,” Karl said, but he doubted either of them heard him.
&nb
sp; “Listen to me, you little shit, he is worthless and he will hurt you. Mark my words. He doesn’t have a loving bone in his body. He may think he does, but he’ll shut you out in no time! He does it to everyone.”
“No, he did it to you because you are worthless and a horrible person! He loves me and I love him. I am there for him, I am his rock, and you are nothing.”
“I think everyone needs to calm down,” Phil said, but Stacey threw her hand up, stopping him as she glared at Kacey.
“You nothing about me—”
“And she won’t, ever, because you aren’t in my life,” Jordie said, stepping in front of Kacey. “Goodbye, Stacey,” he said sternly as Kacey moved out from behind him to see Stacey’s wide eyes.
“Oh, really? It’s Mom to you, buddy,” she sneered, but he shook his head.
“No, it’s nothing because there is nothing else to say to one another. Goodbye,” he said once more and then turned, cupping Kacey’s shoulders. “Come on, baby, let me get you home.”
“Jordie Scott, I am not done talking to you!” she yelled as Jordie directed Kacey to the truck and helped her in.
“Well, I think he’s done talking to you,” Karl said with a laugh.
Ignoring his mom, Jordie said, “Karl, I’ll take you home.”
“I can get a ride with Karson.”
“He took Benji home,” he commented before closing Kacey’s door. She tried to roll down the window to hear but the car wasn’t started, so she could only watch. Their voices were muffled as Stacey yelled and yelled at Jordie, but he completely ignored her, getting into the truck, with her father getting in at the same time.
“Fuck you, Jordie—” Her words were cut off as he slammed the door shut.
“Fucking bitch,” Karl muttered and Jordie shrugged.
“Who? I didn’t hear anything,” he said simply and Kacey reached over, taking his hand. As he sent her a grin, her heart sang. She had been so worried, but it was obvious.
Jordie was going to be okay.
“You make me so fucking hot when you score,” Kacey gasped as Jordie pushed her into the door, his hands sliding down her hips, holding her tightly as his mouth moved along her neck, her breasts. Lifting her shirt up and over her head, he kissed down her ribs, her belly button, as he slid her leggings and panties down her legs.