Overtime

by Toni Aleo

  Natasha’s eyes widened as she slowly shook her head. “You don’t mean that.”

  What the hell was up with all these crazy people? First Liam, then his mom, who was straight from crazy town, and now Natasha? When was he going to catch a break? If it wasn’t fighting his alcohol issue, it was batting away crazy people who wanted to fuck with the one great thing in his life. The one thing that mattered more than the next drink, or the people from crazy town. His everything.

  Stepping toward her, he took her by her shoulders. “Listen to me, Natasha. I don’t love you, I never said I’d love you, and I never will. That woman though, that woman I love. More than I could even try to put into words. You know how much she means to me. Please stop this,” he begged, but Natasha shook her head.

  “I miss you.”

  He let his head fall back and he couldn’t believe it. She had been such a cool chick, a wonderful fuck, and an okay person, but when did she take a detour to Crazyville and why was she doing this? Shaking his head, he said, “Natasha, don’t. Because I will never be yours. I’m Kacey’s. Only Kacey’s.” Her lips trembled as she looked away and he asked, “Please don’t call the cops on her. Let that be your apology to me.”

  “Who said I’m apologizing?”

  He expected that from her. She was prideful, just like Kacey, but unlike Kacey, she didn’t forgive easily. Nor did she let go of a grudge. Though she also knew that what she’d just done was unacceptable. “You will because you know that you shouldn’t have done that,” he answered and she shrugged. She worked her lip, tears falling from her eyes, and in another time, another place, a drunk mind frame probably, she would have been it for him. But she wasn’t, and as much as it hurt her, it did upset him. He had cared about her. After this though, he wasn’t sure he could ever speak to her again.

  “I do love you, Jordie,” she said then, her eyes meeting his. As she dropped the napkin, he knew that her nose was broken, which made him flinch. That woman of his had a temper and a mean right hook.

  Squeezing her shoulders, he said, “Do yourself a favor and stop. Find someone else who can return that love. But first, go get your nose taken care of. Forward me the bill if there is one.”

  She shook her head as she covered her nose. “I can’t believe she hit me.”

  “I can,” he said slowly. “She loves me, and real love brings out the irrational part in people. Now I have to go home and convince her she has nothing to worry about. I doubt you’ll wish me luck,” he teased and she shrugged.

  “I won’t.”

  “Didn’t think so,” he said, fishing his keys out of his pocket. This was one of those moments when what Benji said rang true. Natasha didn’t add to his life; she messed it up, so she was out of it. “This is goodbye, Natasha. Don’t contact me, and I won’t contact you.”

  She swallowed hard, wiping her face as she stood a little taller. Her nose was already bruising on her pretty face, but that wouldn’t hold her back. She was flawless no matter what, but he still didn’t understand how she could do this. Then his previous statement came back to him. She was in love with him, which made her irrational, and he felt horrible for hurting her feelings, but he had never lied or promised her anything. His heart was always Kacey’s.

  He just had to hope Kacey remembered that.

  Slowly nodding, Natasha looked away as she whispered, “Sounds good.”

  “Good luck,” he said before turning.

  “You too,” she called out to him and he waved a thanks.

  Because he was going need it.

  Walking in the back door, he found Kacey right away.

  Sitting on the barstool, she was demolishing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, Notting Hill on the kitchen TV.

  “You and this dumbass movie,” he joked, but she didn’t even knowledge him.

  “Go pack your shit up and leave,” she called and he scoffed.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he said and she glared at him over her shoulder.

  “Yes, you are, out that damn door,” she yelled, turning off the TV and getting off the barstool. “Our whole relationship is a lie.”

  Confused, he held his hands out. “What the fuck are you talking about? How is it a lie? I love you. That’s pretty well-known and true.”

  “No, you never told me about her, that she was what helped you get through rehab. You lied to me!”

  “Um, no, I didn’t. But really, why does it matter who helped me as long as I got through it and became the man you needed?”

  “It matters because you didn’t let me in! I wanted to help you.”

  He set her with a look as she chucked her Ben & Jerry’s in the sink, the spoon making a loud noise, before she turned to look at him. She was blisteringly mad and he got that, but really?

  “Do you know how stupid that is? You’re mad, no, not even mad, jealous because someone else helped me and it wasn’t you. But the thing is, you’re helping me now. Just by loving me, you help.”

  Her eyes widened as heat crept up her neck. “No, I’m not jealous! I’m broken.”

  “Broken?” he asked, completely confused. “Please, enlighten me because I really don’t understand how the fuck you’re broken.”

  She glared at his display of aloofness. “You hid her because she meant something to you. She was probably your backup plan if I didn’t give you a second chance.”

  He pointed at her. “Wrong. If I couldn’t have you, I wasn’t going to be with anyone,” he said simply before crossing his large arms over his chest.

  “I don’t believe you for a second. That girl was just your type. A huge slut!” she shot at him and he rolled his eyes.

  “Was my type,” he said slowly before shaking his head. “Don’t know if you know this, but my type is a crazy pregnant lady who has a wicked right hook and eats more Ben & Jerry’s than a fat kid eats cake,” he said, but this time she shook her head.

  “No, if I were your type, you would have let me in.”

  Totally exasperated, he glared. “Kacey, I couldn’t even look you in the eye after what I did to you, let alone open up to you. I was fucked up, remember? And you said you wouldn’t throw my past in my face. Natasha is my past.”

  “That was before your past came barreling into my life, stabbing me in the chest with the rejection all over again.”

  “What rejection?” he yelled. “I’m with you. I sleep with you! I impregnated you! I am marrying you!” he said, each sentence louder and with more meaning.

  “The hell you are!” she snapped, and she might as well have hit him.

  “Oh, really?” he roared. “What, you aren’t marrying me now?”

  “I don’t know what I am doing! I am so damn mad at you I could scream!”

  “You are screaming, crazy,” he said matter-of-factly, and her face went red. He understood she was upset, but she was being downright dumb.

  “You need to go! Get your shit and go!” She seethed, and for some reason, that bothered him. He got that they were arguing, even that he was an idiot for withholding that piece of information from her, but he would not accept that she wanted him gone. Bullshit.

  He glared, striking his hands to his hips. “If I’m getting my shit, saddle up, baby, ’cause you’re coming with me.”

  “I am not!” she yelled and he went toe-to-toe with her.

  “Yes, you are, because you are mine. This baby is mine too. I am not going anywhere without the person who completes me. Get over this shit and kiss me!”

  But she pushed him away, her eyes filling with tears. “If I completed you, then you would have come to me instead of going to her.”

  Roaring out a sound of distress, his arms shook as he let his head fall back. “Oh my God, Kacey, I wasn’t in my right mind back then. I was fucked up. We both know this. Why are you acting like this?”

  When he looked back down at her, she was glaring, tears rushing down her beautiful, angry face. “Because it hurts. It hurts to know that I couldn’t be there for you, to help you, t
hat you pushed me away and clung to her.”

  “So it’s your pride, your jealousy, that has you acting like this? Wanting to throw everything away for something that I did so long ago?”

  She glowered. “You know how bad it hurt me when you didn’t want me to help you, and instead of being truthful with me, you lied about her. Hid her.”

  “I never even thought about her because I don’t fucking care about her. Yes, we talked a lot, but that’s all it was. I didn’t even sleep with her but that one weekend. Even when she pestered me to do it when I was in rehab, I never did. I didn’t want her! I wanted you!”

  “But you went to her.”

  “Because I had no choice. I wasn’t coming to you until I was at least somewhat of a decent dude. Until I was the man you deserved. Now, stop this and come here, hug this out. Your blood pressure is probably through the roof, and I hate when you’re mad at me.”

  But her tears rushed down her face, her eyes full of hurt and rejection, and he didn’t understand. She said she forgave his past. Why was she acting like this?

  “No. Go.”

  He held her gaze for a long time, the tension so thick he almost choked. She needed time to calm down. He had no problem giving that to her, but not until he proved his point.

  “Fine, I’ll go, maybe for a drink since, apparently, I’m still that guy.”

  Was it childish? Yes, but she was on a whole other level of crazy and he needed to knock her down.

  Her eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “Maybe I will. You are willing to throw away this relationship, not care about how hard I’ve worked to be the man you deserve. Instead, you’re flipping your shit over someone who means nothing to me and telling me to go.”

  “You know that’s not true, and you better not! I’m losing my shit because you didn’t want me—”

  “Because I didn’t fucking deserve you, Kacey! Shit, when are you going to get that through your head!” he roared, causing her to flinch in surprise. “I had to fix me, and it doesn’t matter who the fuck I had to help me get there as long as I got there. But you don’t see that, all you see is your pride and jealousy. But what the ever-loving fuck ever, I’ll leave, give you a chance to clear your head. Call me when you want me to come home,” he said before stomping away from her and slamming the door for good measure.

  But as his foot hit the bottom stair and she didn’t come to stop him, his heart stopped.

  Why didn’t she follow him?

  He walked extra slowly to his truck, looking back at their house, fully expecting her to come out, but she didn’t. Reaching his truck, he looked back and let out a long breath, his heart pounding in his chest. He could see her in the kitchen, collapsed against the island, her body shaking, and he worried what this could do to their daughter. She needed to calm down, but was she actually going to let him leave?

  Pulling his phone out, he texted her.

  Jordie: You’re not going to stop me?

  Kacey: No. You need to go.

  Jordie: Did we break up?

  Kacey: I don’t know.

  Jordie: ?????

  Kacey: I just need a second to think.

  A second?

  A fucking second?

  This frustrating woman was going to drive him to his demise.

  Getting in his truck, Jordie slammed the door hard and pulled out of the driveway, his tires spinning against the asphalt before he sped down the road, headed God knows where. He knew he could go to Karson’s or even Karl’s, but for some reason, he drove past their houses. He did take notice of the few bars he passed, but he wouldn’t give them a second glance. He didn’t want a drink; he wanted Kacey to get her head out of her ass and get it together. Before he realized what he was doing, he was passing by the arena and found himself pulling into the condos that Benji lived in. Parking his truck near Benji’s, he got out and went up the stairs, then banged on his door.

  Pulling it open, Benji’s eyes widened in surprise. “Jordie?”

  “Sorry I came without calling, but me and Kacey just got in a huge fight, and she’s fucking crazy.”

  Benji threw the door open and turned. “Want something to drink?”

  “Jack and Coke?” Jordie asked hopefully.

  “I got you on the Coke,” he said before grabbing two cans as Jordie fell back on his plush black couch. Looking at the TV, he saw that Game of Thrones was on, and he was starting to think that Benji was a tad bit obsessed.

  Handing Jordie a Coke, Benji sat down in his recliner, shutting off the TV and saying, “So, tell me what happened.”

  He did and Benji listened, not asking questions or anything. He let Jordie get everything out and it felt good. If he had gone to Karson and Karl, they would have questioned him, made sure he hadn’t hurt Kacey, which he hadn’t and he never would intentionally. She would always be their first priority, and he understood that. She was the baby, but she was wrong. He knew that.

  “I mean, you can’t control what she feels. But, dude, you did do her dirty before,” Benji said and Jordie’s jaw dropped.

  Maybe he wasn’t right.

  “But she’s wrong to freak out like this.”

  “Sure, but you are wrong too. You knew from the beginning that she wanted to be there to help you. You didn’t go to her, for good reason, I agree with you there, but you went to someone else. Someone you never told her about.”

  “I get you,” he said and he did, but Jordie still didn’t feel that he was in the wrong. “But she doesn’t matter the way Kacey does. I really never thought about that.”

  “But Kacey doesn’t see that. She sees it as she wasn’t the one that fixed you, in a sense, and that bothers her.”

  “That’s selfish! As long as I’m fixed, why does it matter?”

  “Because as much as men are prideful, so are women, and Kacey is very prideful. I know that, and I don’t even know her that well. She takes pride in everything she does, and she loves you so much that she wanted to be the one to be there for you completely. Instead, Natasha was, and that bothers her.”

  “Okay,” he said, nodding his head because Benji was right. “But is it enough to break up with me for?”

  “No,” Benji said simply. “But to her it might seem to be.”

  Looking down at the ground, he sucked in a deep breath. “I won’t let her.”

  “That’s all you, dude. But I don’t think she is over the past. Or maybe she is, but this just opened the wound all over again and now you have to figure out how to close it back up.”

  “But how?”

  Benji shrugged. “You know her best, Jordie. She’s your chick and only you know how to fix this.”

  He thought that over for a long time, tracing the rim of his can with his finger. His life was one big mess that he was continually cleaning up, but she had promised she would always stay by him to do that. Now, she was freaking out over something that really didn’t matter. It was his past, and she had to accept that or they wouldn’t work.

  And not working wasn’t an option.

  Glancing over at Benji, he shook his head. “Why are you single, dude? You are one of those listening kind of guys that girls eat up.”

  Benji smiled. “I watch Game of Thrones, I’m an alcoholic, and I play hockey. Not really a winning combo.”

  He eyed him. “It works for me when my woman isn’t acting insane.”

  He shrugged. “One day. It’s a battle every day, but I’m a warrior and I’m gonna make it. Just like you. You’ll fix this, because that’s been the theme of your life since you left rehab. Fixing yourself. And you won’t stop, you won’t give up, until she forgives you.”

  “You’re right,” he said softly.

  “I remember one time with Ava. She was big and pregnant,” he said with a fond smile. “Like two weeks out. And I went out with the boys, got shit-faced, and came home, ready to get some. She lost her shit, threw all my stuff on the front lawn, kicked me in the gut, and told me I was dead to her. W
hen I woke up in my own vomit, she was sitting on the porch, watching me, and I looked up into those sparkling blue eyes and I came undone,” he said sadly, shaking his head. “I promised I’d never do it again, and I didn’t. Except for that one time, the one time she was killed and I lived. So yeah, this fight sucks, and you feel like you’re losing. But really, at least you have the chance to walk in there and tell her that you’re sorry and that you’ll never do it again. I don’t.”

  Jordie’s eyes were wide, his mouth gaping. “I mean, shit, dude. I think you almost made me cry.”

  He sucked in a breath as Benji nodded. “Yeah, dude, my life sucks, but yours doesn’t. And if I were you, I’d give her some time to calm down before I approached her again. I remember one time I didn’t leave the toilet seat down and she fell in. She hit me with a frying pan.”

  Jordie snorted. “Damn. She was a violent one.”

  “Yup, the ones who love the most usually are.”

  “True that, brother,” Jordie agreed, seeing Kacey hit Natasha all over again, the way she wanted to kill his mother, and the way she’d looked at him with the fierceness of a thousand armies. Kacey didn’t play, she loved. And he had hurt her. There was no other option but to fix it. As he watched while Benji sat with a sad smile on his face, it was easy to see that Benji missed his family very much. Jordie felt for him. He was sure that’s how he would be if Kacey didn’t get her head out of her ass and forgive him. He couldn’t imagine living a life without her. Or their child.

  It just wouldn’t work.

  He loved her.

  And he wasn’t going anywhere without her.

  “Are you stupid, Kacey?”

  Kacey rolled her eyes as she leaned against her hand, Lacey on the line hollering at her. Instead of chasing after Jordie like she knew she should have, she let him leave mad, and it rocked her to the core. She hated fighting with him, but she was hurting and she hated feeling like she was worthless. Like she wasn’t enough to help him.