by ML Nystrom
Hours later, the kids were in bed, the food put away, and the kitchen nearly finished. My mind started to wander as I was mopping the floor.
Mute kissed me again, I thought as I stored leftovers, put dishes in the big industrial dishwasher, and wiped counters. He said he wouldn’t do it again, but he did. He gave me money for clothes. A lot of it. He’s cursed at me. He got me a place to live. He gets mad at me for no reason. He protected me. He fucked another woman right in front of me, maybe deliberately. He stood between me and someone who might’ve hurt me. He got me a phone when I needed one and couldn’t afford it. He hates me. He wants me. He loves me.
I stopped moving around. No. I shook my head. Don’t go there, Kat. Not the time.
Tambre came into the kitchen with an armful of dishes. She took one look at my face and dumped the whole pile in the sink. She was a little taller than me, mainly because she liked to wear heels with everything. She was a beautiful woman, both inside and out. She hugged me close and I felt her quiet strength seep into me, holding me up.
“He’s a hard man. Been through more in his lifetime than most of the others in the club, and it wasn’t pretty. Seen more. Done more. His hands have been dirty, and will be dirty again. I’ve watched it happen since he was a kid and Brick found him scroungin’ for food outta the bar dumpster. The stuff he lived with, the stuff he lived through, can leave scars on people. I ‘spect you know that, since you weren’t brought up with silver spoons or roses either.”
She moved away and started unloading the dishwasher, still steaming from its four-minute cycle. I picked up the stacked dishes and put them away.
“We been talking, me and Betsey and Molly. ‘Bout you and the club. You ain’t an old lady—” She paused and looked at me with her wise eyes, and added, “—yet.” She shifted more dishes to the counter.
“You ain’t a bunny neither, and ain’t gonna be, but you still got a place here. Your own place. Makes you family no matter what. Molly really wants you with Stud. I know that boy was interested, but not enough, not like Mute. When Stud looks at you, I see a man who likes you and wants you.”
She stopped and took both my hands in hers. “When Mute looks at you, I see a man who needs you and needs you bad. Needs you so bad it consumes him every day. I see him fight it like he has everything else in his life. He’s trying to not have that need, but it’s there and he’s losing and he’s scared. Scared bad. Both of you got walls, thick and tall ones. You been looking at each other over them walls for a long time now, and they’re cracking. One of you had to take the risk in breaking them down, and it is a risk. A scary one, ‘cause both y’alls hearts is involved and y’all have been bruised up a time or two in the past. You got to decide if he’s worth that risk.”
Molly appeared in the doorway, her face unusually solemn.
“Boys are back.”
Chapter 11
The men who returned were milling around the room, too restless to sit. The club women were filling their support roles. Betsey had pulled some beers from the cooler. Tambre carried one to Taz and hugged him close, giving him the strength she gave me. Mute wasn’t with them.
Brick looked his age, like the world rested on his shoulders, and in a way, it did.
“Bar is gone, a total loss. Didn’t get the boat house or the dock. Fire chief has to do a deeper investigation, but thinks it was a gas leak that did it. There’s evidence that says it was deliberate, but he’s got to confirm that. Arson is a hard one to prove, but Bill says whoever set it didn’t hide nothing.”
There was a collective gasp around the room. The men’s faces looked even grimmer. I glanced at Betsey to see how she was taking the news. Tears flowed down her face, and she hurried to Brick’s side. She took his hand and stood by him, every bit the club queen, even though her world had just crumbled to ash.
“Good news is no one got hurt. Everyone stays here for the rest of the night. Gates are locked and alarms are set. Get some sleep. Church in the morning. Nine o’clock sharp.”
He didn’t bother with saying Merry Christmas as he and Betsey quietly went up the stairs and into their suite.
Men and women wandered off to their places, some to the cabins and some to rooms. I found out Mackie was given one of the lower club rooms for the night and had already gone to bed. Tambre and Taz left for their private cabin, as did Molly and Cutter. Stud retired to his room, taking Nikki with him.
I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do. The front door behind me opened up. Mute was there with three backpacks over his massive shoulders, and a handful of plastic grocery bags. He had made a run back to Mackie’s house. He quirked an eyebrow at me.
“Where’s Mackie?”
“Molly got him set up in room four downstairs. He may be asleep by now, but really needs to take his pills.”
Mute jerked his head in a nod, and went to take a pack to Mackie, and wake him up if needed. I put the groceries he’d brought away, and wiped the counters one more time. He was standing in the middle of the great room when I came back. He stood in front of me, his strong arms at his sides, looking at me. I recognized those walls Tambre was talking about, but she was wrong. Those walls weren’t cracking. Those walls were crumbled into dust. Mute was raw, uncovered, and unguarded. He was hiding nothing, and was more vulnerable than I’d thought he could ever be. I could see it. I could feel it. I knew what he was asking, but his voice was silent in my head. It was my turn.
I took three bounding steps and launched myself at him, my legs and arms going around him as far as they could, trusting he was going to catch me. Trusting him with everything. He caught me, wrapping me tight, holding me close, burying his face in my neck, breathing me in. I held on for dear life. Whatever happened tomorrow, if this was just a fluke, a one-time thing, I didn’t care. I just wanted tonight.
He carried me to his room in the back of the lodge. It was one of the larger ones, with a private bathroom and small sitting area. The bed was covered in a thin-striped blue, black, and tan comforter. A small nightstand was next to it, with a single drawer and small lamp made from a short log. A small flat-screen TV was on the wall in front of a large oversized recliner in one corner, and another chair held an assortment of clothes, both draped and folded. There was a large American flag pinned to the wall behind the bed, and a couple of motorcycle posters on the other walls. It wasn’t completely sparse, but everything in the room screamed, “Single male biker.”
He set me on my feet next to the bed, relaxing his grip on me, but didn’t let go. I looked into the dark depths of his eyes, and for the first time ever saw uncertainty. He stroked my cheek softly with the tips of his fingers, and ran his thumb over my lips. I could feel and hear him asking, “Do you really want this? Do you want me?”
In all the months I’d been around him, I’d never seen Mute so defenseless. I had the power to break him if I rejected him at his moment.
“What is your real name?” I asked against his thumb. He paused, then reached for his phone. I put my hand over his in a bold move to stop him.
“No,” I said firmly “Don’t text me.” I took a breath and pierced his eyes with mine. “Tell me.”
He stared, eyes glazing over, his lips parted. He took several deep breaths. I couldn’t tell whether I’d just pissed him off, made him laugh, or something else.
“Alec,” he managed to say on a harsh growling whisper. It was barely audible, but it was there.
I ran my hands over his hard chest and up to his face, tangling in the chains around his neck, and burying them in his thick hair at the back of his neck. I could feel him trembling, as if he was scared of me.
“Make love to me, Alec. Please.”
He kissed me slow, savoring, totally in contrast with his rough and tough badass biker image. For such a hard man, his lips were incredibly soft as they gently sucked at mine. The tip of his tongue ran over my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth, both in shock and invitation. He took it and swept inside. He slanted his mouth again
st mine and pulled me closer, delving and exploring deeper. Electricity zapped through me, and my sex clenched in response. I could feel myself growing wet. My breasts swelled, and my nipples hardened and pulsed. Mute nipped at my lips, pulling the lower one between his teeth to suck at it and stroke it softly with his tongue. He repeated it with my upper lip, and then delved in again, tasting me deeply. I played with him, touching his tongue with mine, stroking boldly. He moved one arm lower, over my bottom, and pressed me into his body. I could feel his hard arousal just above my pelvis. I felt out of control. I was one big ball of need. I’d never been that way before and it terrified me, but I wanted this more than anything, and I reveled in the sensation.
Mute must have felt the change in me. He drew back, ending the devastating kiss, hovering over my mouth so we shared breaths for a moment or two. I was shaking, my legs like jelly. He pulled back just enough to pull my T-shirt over my head, my plain bra following. He whipped off his own shirt, and pulled me back into his body, crushing my breasts into his warm chest as if he couldn’t bear to be separated. He kissed me again. Long. Slow. Deep.
I was burning up by the time we were both naked and on the bed. He laid me there with my back on the comforter, and he curled in to my side. His touches were reverent, treating me like the greatest gift he had ever been given. He loved my body with his eyes, his fingers, his mouth and tongue, tasting me and savoring every bite. He lingered over my breasts, his tongue both rough and soft, and I arched my back, moaning at the electricity that zapped through me. His fingers trailed over every inch of my body, exploring every curve, every crevice.
Claiming me.
He worshipped me with his mouth, sucking and licking at me in an experience I’d never had, driving me higher and higher. I clutched at his head, crying out as the orgasm hit me. It was the first real one I’d ever felt and the power in it was overwhelming. I heard the soft crinkle of plastic as he opened a condom wrapper with his teeth. He sheathed himself and moved over me, covering me with his heat, his hips settling between my legs and his forearms on either side of my shoulders. He gazed into my eyes as his hard tip touched my wetness and I gasped when he pressed forward, breaching my opening. He was big, and his unyielding push stretched me to the point of pain.
He paused when he was all the way inside, giving me a moment to get used to him being there. I looked back at him, my hands on his strong shoulders, holding him to me. His dark eyes were usually unreadable or irritable but now, as his body was joined with mine, I was shocked at the depth of emotion in them. I never knew I was empty until he filled me with himself.
I struggled for breath, unable to look away when he began to move, sliding almost all the way out and then pressing back in. I lifted my hips in time with him, taking him in deeper, longer, writhing under him as he relentlessly drove me higher. It stunned me to hear the noises I was making as his thrusts grew faster and more determined, drawing out every bit of pleasure there was. He watched me when I climaxed again. It was harder, stronger, and so powerful I couldn’t look away. I cried his real name as my body came apart under him. He closed his eyes and dropped his mouth on mine, his tongue still vaguely tasting of me. He kissed me with an intensity I knew was for me and only me. His body grew rigid as he drove into me a few more times and fiercely came.
Heat poured off his body, and sweat covered both of us. He didn’t move for several minutes, still rock-hard inside me. He finally lifted his head from my neck and stroked my hair, his eyes roaming my face. I was shocked to see them wet. Several tears made their way down his cheeks. This silent rock of a man had given something to me. Something big. He was completely open, exposed, and unprotected. He was mine. I raised my head and kissed him, tracing my tongue over his lips. He kissed me back, opening his mouth and letting me inside.
He withdrew from me and left the bed, his bare feet slipping along the thin green carpet. He disposed of the condom and came back to me, curling up behind me, tucking me in close and wrapping a heavy arm over my middle. Since neither of us bothered to put on any clothes, we were touching skin to skin at maximum contact. I lay there, unashamed and not embarrassed at all. I hid nothing from him as I touched his arm, running my fingers over his ink.
The few times I’d slept with the one boyfriend I had in the past always felt like an obligation rather than an act of love. When he wanted sex, I was a convenient place to put his dick. That was it. That was the sum total of my sex life. I never got into masturbating much, just feeling it was more trouble than it was worth.
The orgasms Mute had just given me destroyed my previous thoughts about sex. I’d never thought I would have this deep connection with anyone. I didn’t think it was even possible to have it. I’d heard of people saying they’d found their soul mate, but I didn’t think it was real. Now, with Mute lying behind me, his fingers moving in random patterns over my skin, I could admit that perhaps it was real. I put my hand over his and felt his breath against the behind my ear as he pressed those beautiful lips against my flesh. Was this real? Was this for me? Might I dare hope for more? The warmth of his body and his gentle touches was lulling me off to sleep. I could feel my eyelids growing heavier as I drifted. Even if this wasn’t real, I at least had tonight, and I was going to keep it. At least for the moment, I was totally and completely loved.
Mute woke with the rising sun barely coming over the horizon. Pale strips of light came through the blinds of his room, decorating the bed. He was on his back, Kat’s nude body curled into him, his arm around her holding her close. He gazed for a moment at her still form, then shifted and pressed his lips against her forehead. Easing away from her, he left the bed and went into the bathroom and showered off the long night of sex with his woman. He didn’t want to lose the smell of her from his body, but he also didn’t want to share it. She was his and his alone.
He put on his cut, grabbed his cigarettes from the messy dresser top and headed outside into the crisp cold air. Mute tapped out a white stick, looked at it, and put it back in the pack. There was enough ashy smell from the burnt building without him adding to it. His mouth quirked, thinking that it wouldn’t be long before Kat gave him shit about the habit.
Kat. My old lady. He thought as he watched the world wake up to a new day. Gotta get her a patch. My patch. The one he had for Maya had been destroyed years ago and even if he still had it, he would never disrespect Kat by putting another woman’s patch on her.
Fuck, how did this happen? Mute thought to himself. He thought he had loved Maya, and after her betrayal, he had vowed not to fall into that trap again. Kat had avoided him like crazy, and he had done everything he could to push her away. Somehow, she still ended up burrowing her way into his thoughts and his life until he couldn’t imagine having one without her in it. His eyes stared off to the distant mountain range as he relived the past night. He recalled each sigh, every touch, the taste of her mouth, and the feel of her pussy as she welcomed him home. All of it had filled his heart to bursting with such emotion, it had leaked from his eyes. No, he couldn’t have loved Maya, because he never felt this much for anyone until Kat. This raw unfiltered feeling was new to him, and he was both exhilarated and scared shitless. But he wasn’t going to let it go.
Mute’s trance was broken by the outside door closing. He turned to see another Dragon Runner, Table, walk out on the deck with a cup of steaming coffee. He nodded a greeting and took a sip of the brew as Mute went back inside. Several other people were up and moving around. Mute ignored them for the most part as he went back to his room and the precious sleeping figure in his bed. He scratched a quick note to her saying he was at church, placing it near her head on the pillow.
Church was held in the conference room on the second floor of the lodge. It held a long, polished cherrywood table and a dozen padded conference chairs. The Dragon Runners’ emblem graced the wall behind the head of the table, a dragon skeleton with a long twisting tail, its skull breathing fire. Brick was already up and had made coffee. The other bro
thers came in one by one, getting cups and settling down. Their expressions were grim.
Brick sat heavily in his seat.
“The fire report is not officially in yet, but the chief still says there’s evidence it was arson. Damn bastard didn’t hide the gas cans he used. Main gas line was cut and pulled out to sit in the middle of the floor, and a fuckin’ burn line led to it. Bill checked it again this mornin’ in the daylight and said it’s too obvious to be anything else. Bar is a total loss. Stud, how does this balance out with the other businesses and cash flow?”
Stud leaned back in his swivel chair, tapping through accounts on his laptop. “Garage has had some problems with missing inventory, and the books have been off. I can’t put my finger on it, but the bank accounts are accurate. Campgrounds are shut down for the winter, minimal use this time of year anyway. We’ll see more activity toward Valentine’s Day, but only the cabins will be open with any significance. The bar’s insurance is up-to-date, and the land we already own outright. We can rebuild if the club decides to do it, maybe even expand a bit. It will take time, and I don’t know much about construction, but now is probably not the right time of the year to start it.”
Brick sighed and looked around the table.
“Stealin’ from the garage. Campground torn up. And now the bar. Seems to me someone is trying to hurt this club. I’m gettin’ a mite tired of it. Question is who, why, and what we gonna do about it. Mute, what do we know?”
Mute reached for his own laptop and began rapidly typing. Taz read off the words as Mute’s fingers flew over the keyboard.