A polite knock at the door signaled Miles was there. She grabbed her beach bag and stuffed her towel and sunscreen inside. Well, here goes nothing. Time to put on a happy face. She opened the door with a smile. “Ready to go?” Miles asked, his gaze warming as he appreciated the view. “You are so beautiful. I'm the luckiest guy on St. John. Shall we?” He offered his arm and she laughed as she slipped her arm through his. Such a gentleman. Miles would make any woman the happiest woman on earth. So why couldn't she muster anything more than a pleasant tingle around him?
“So where are we going?” she asked, determined to forget about Boston for the day and enjoy a nice day with a good man. “All I ask is that there is food and bathrooms because that has become my life.”
“It has both plus I packed snacks and extra water.”
“Of course you did. You are amazing.”
“Well, I try. But honestly you bring out the best in me.” Miles grinned and Julianna returned the smile but inside her heart was heavier than a stone. Was she leading Miles on? She'd never dream of hurting him but maybe that's exactly what she was doing. Her heart, as much as she wouldn't wish it, seemed to gravitate toward Boston and she needed to be straight with Miles. Miles noted her silence as they climbed into the Jeep and he turned to her with a worried expression. “Are you feeling okay? We don't have to go anywhere if you're not feeling up to it.”
“No,” Julianna answered with a quick smile. “I need to get out and away. My head is not quite straight. A day at the beach sounds perfect.”
“Excellent. But if at any point you don't feel well, you let me know and we can cut the day short. Your health is what's most important.”
“You're such a good guy. How is it that you're not married?”
“Just haven’t found the right fit, I guess. But before you get the idea that I'm perfect — trust me, I'm not. I'm just like every guy, flawed and sometimes stupid.”
She rolled her eyes at his self-deprecation. “Is that so? Well, you’d better start showing me some of those flaws or I might make you marry me.” It was a joke but the minute she said it she knew she shouldn't have. Something flared in Miles's eyes – something like hope — and she knew she had to set him straight before she completely ruined their friendship. “Miles, you're a great guy — an amazing guy — but I don't want to give you the wrong idea. When I said that it was complicated with Boston I wasn't lying. We have an unusual arrangement that is hard to explain…”
“Do you love him?” Miles asked, cutting right to the chase.
“I don’t know.” That wasn't true. But she couldn't quite say the words. Maybe she wasn't ready to acknowledge the fact that she truly did have feelings for Boston that went beyond their arrangement. True, in the beginning she couldn't stand him. She'd been angry with him for pushing her into a despicable contract but she was just as angry at herself for being so weak that she’d accepted it. However, somewhere along the way she’d developed feelings for the asshole. Or maybe she was the asshole for letting her heart get involved. And now the baby? To say it was complicated was to say that the ocean was deep. “Here's the thing, Miles, I'm not available and I don't want to lead you on. You are a terrific guy and I'm crazy about you in a certain way but Boston is too much in my head” and heart “to let anything truly happen between us.”
She held her breath, afraid that Miles was going to kick her out of the car for being honest even though deep down she knew he’d never do that, even if he should. Miles offered her a crooked, yet slightly sad smile as he said, “I'm not blind, Julianna. Whether or not you want to admit it, you're in love with the guy. I know logic and reason never play a part in what the heart wants but I wish that you would accept that you deserve better.”
She released a relieved breath. He didn’t hate her. At least that was something. “I know I deserve better and honestly, before I met Boston I never would’ve imagined that I would be in this kind of situation but there is something between us that I've never felt before. And it has nothing to do with his money or his influence or any of that superficial crap. Because honestly I think he’s better when he's not throwing money around and acting like Boston Kincaid. When it's just he and I, and we’re just a normal couple spending time together, he’s a beautiful man. I can't believe I'm saying this and I know you probably think I'm crazy but deep down Boston…” What is she trying to say? That he was a good guy? Yeah, maybe. But given how Boston had acted as of late, that’d be a hard sell to Miles. She shrugged her shoulders helplessly, knowing she sounded like a loon. “I don't know, I'm not making any sense. I'm sorry. The thing is, I might be in love with him and I'm sorry.”
For a long moment he didn’t say anything and Julianna worried about what he might be thinking about her but when he spoke again, there was no judgment in his tone, only kindness. “How about this…let's just spend the day together as friends and leave all that other stuff behind for now. I'm not going to lie, I'm attracted to you. You’re beautiful, smart, witty — and I think you're going to be a wonderful mom. What's not to love about you? But I won’t stand in the way if Boston is who you want. I'll be your friend if that's what you need from me.”
“Really? Most guys don't want end up in the friend zone,” Julianna said, with a small wry smile. “Doesn't that bother you?”
“Sometimes the most enduring love stories spring from solid friendships,” he shared with the conspiratorial wink. “I haven't given up yet.”
She laughed. “You're incorrigible but I love that you don't give up easily. That’s a good quality in a man.”
Miles put the car into drive as he said, “Enough of this serious talk. There is a beach with our name on it and daylight is wasting. I've got the whole day without work and a beautiful woman by my side. Sounds like the beginnings of a great day to me.”
Julianna couldn't help but grin. Why couldn't she love Miles? Why did it have to be Boston? Without a doubt, Miles would make some lucky woman very happy. And in the short term, she supposed she could occupy that spot. Spending a day at the beach was exactly what the doctor ordered and she was going to enjoy it. But, Julianna knew that she was going to have to talk to Boston eventually. They needed to figure things out and that meant no more running.
But that wasn't today.
#
He'd seen the writing on the wall but he'd ignored his intuition. Julianna had all but admitted she was in love with Boston. Which meant her heart was closed to him. He’d landed in the Friend Zone. He should’ve known, should've listened to his gut. But he was here with her now and that was worth something. Boston thought he had Julianna no matter what because she carried his child but Miles wasn’t out of the game yet. Julianna's heart was hurting and what better way to show a woman there were better options than to actually be that option. He'd show her that Boston didn't have what it took to care for her emotionally like Miles did. “It's about a 30 minute drive to the beach,” he said. “But it's a really pretty drive.”
“It's a beautiful day. I don't mind. The weather here is crazy, though. It almost looked like it was going to rain. But I suppose that's pretty normal for the Caribbean.”
“Yes, it is. And the islanders rely on that rain for their freshwater. So we like those crazy rainstorms. However, I think the storm is going to pass us by today. It will probably hit St. Croix but the wind will push it past us.”
“I don't mind the rain. It's not a cold rain at all. It makes everything steamy and everything smells so good.”
“That it does. The ladies say it's great for the complexion, too.”
She regarded him curiously. “Do you think you’ll stay here, put down roots?”
He sighed. “I don't know. I came here to get away from a bad situation and then just never left. I might do what some people do and live here six months out of the year and spend the other six making money stateside. It’s a pretty good gig if you can get it.”
“Living in paradise,” she mused. “Sounds pretty amazing. But I don't know if I
'd want to live here year-round. I kind of miss being home.” She grimaced. “And I can really do without those flying gnats that bite.”
He chuckled at her gnat reference. Those suckers were vicious. When he’d first moved here, he’d been eaten alive until he’d discovered some island secrets to keep them at bay. “So, do you miss your home or Boston's home?”
She paused, unsure of her own answer. “I guess that's what I need to figure out, huh?”
“Yeah, probably a good idea.”
Julianna fell silent and Miles didn't feel compelled to chatter, letting the road take over. As much as he told himself he needed to pull back, he really liked her and he wanted better for her than what she'd settled for. However, experience told him that he was bound to land on the losing end if he wasn't careful. After awhile Miles put on his tour guide hat and began sharing everything he’d learned about the island of St. John when he’d first moved there. She laughed at his little stories and they passed the drive in relative comfort. They arrived at a small rocky beach with a marina and climbed from the Jeep. “There's nowhere to lay a blanket,” she remarked with a frown. “Is this the beach you were talking about?”
“Sort of. This side of the island isn't really known for its beaches but it's a beautiful drive and I wanted you to be able to relax for a little bit.”
“It was a beautiful drive. Thank you.” She graced him with a smile until her expression changed as she said, “However, now I'm hungry so either we find a nice beach to have our picnic or we find a restaurant because I am starving.”
“I have just the thing, it's not a beach but there's a beautiful meadow where we can spread our blankets and enjoy a little island picnic. Afterwards, we’ll clean up and head back into town for some beach time. Sound good?”
“Sounds perfect.”
They climbed back into the Jeep and Miles drove a short while before he pulled off road and parked. Off to the right was a small walking path that wound its way through the lush, dense undergrowth of what basically looked like a jungle and Julianna sent Miles a dubious look, saying, “Are you sure about this? What if we’re eaten by…whatever might lurk in jungles?”
He laughed. “Rest assured, nothing is going to eat us. This used to lead to a sugar plantation in the 1800s but now it’s just a pretty place to enjoy a picnic, I promise.”
“Okay, you’d better be right. If I die, I’ll never forgive you and I swear I will haunt your ass for the rest of your life.”
He mock saluted her. “Duly noted, now let’s get moving. I’m hungry,” he said, reaching out to grasp her hand and help her over a fallen tree. “When you see the meadow, you’ll thank me.”
“I didn’t know there were meadows in the jungle.”
“Perhaps meadow is a generous word. But it’s pretty and flat so we can lay the blanket down without a problem.”
Julianna nodded and decided to just go with it. She was fairly certain Miles wasn’t going to murder her and leave her body for the wild animals but she did feel a bit reckless traipsing about with a relative stranger into an area that looked as if human beings hadn’t visited since the early 19th century. But as they went deeper down the path, flanked by towering trees and big leafy plants, Julianna smiled in wonder at the wild beauty. “Boy, it’s easy to imagine what life was like before technology took over,” she said, her gaze roaming the landscape and breathing in the sweet, humid air. “This is gorgeous.”
“See? I told you you’d like it,” he said, pointing. “It’s just up over that bend. Can you make it?”
She scoffed at his concern. “I’m not made of China. I’m fine. Lead the way.”
He readjusted his pack with an approving grin and pushed on. Within a few minutes they’d crested the small hill and broke the clearing. Julianna sucked in a wild breath, amazed at the untamed lush jungle. True to his word, a small meadow broke the tangle of trees and plants, creating an oasis amid the chaos. “Oh man, you weren’t lying. This is amazing,” she breathed, allowing Miles to take her small backpack and set it down along with his. Julianna did a 360 and giggled with delight at this unexpected find. “You know, this island is nothing short of spectacular but this…wow. How’d you find this?”
“Just tromping around, looking for treasure,” he answered with a playful smile that would’ve melted a lesser woman’s heart.
“Treasure?”
“Hell yeah, St. Thomas used to be a major port of trade and pirates were everywhere in the Caribbean. It’s not as if they used banks to stash their booty. One Spanish medallion could set me up for the rest of my life.”
She laughed. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
“As a heart attack,” he answered with mock seriousness until he couldn’t hide his grin, then amended, “Okay, maybe not quite that serious but hey, it could happen, right?”
“I suppose so. Well, even though you haven’t found treasure, this place is pretty damn cool.”
“I’m glad you agree, now let’s get this picnic started, shall we?”
“You read my mind,” she said, her heart light for the first time in weeks. Julianna helped Miles spread the soft blanket and while Miles pulled out their food, Julianna settled herself on the blanket, happy as a clam. This was so sweet of Miles, she thought with a flash of tenderness. He was such a good catch. For someone. What would he think if she told him about her arrangement with Boston? She worried her bottom lip as the black thought threatened to steal her light mood. No, she wasn’t going to let anything ruin this moment. It wasn’t fair to Miles if she kept allowing Boston to intrude on her thoughts when he wasn’t welcome anyway. “What’s on the menu?” she asked.
“Well Madame, we have a selection of sliced turkey, cranberry, and cheese, along with cold quinoa salad with artichoke, cherry tomatoes and pesto, followed by fresh mango and banana with yogurt.”
“Boy, that’s pretty fancy,” Julianna said, impressed. “And here I thought it was just going to be salami, cheese and crackers.”
“Would that have worked?” he asked.
“Depends on what you were going for…” she replied coyly. Oh boy, she shouldn’t be flirting but she couldn’t quite help herself. He was so cute and he’d gone to so much effort for a knocked up girl he’d only just met…what could she say? It was sweet. And right now…she could use a little sweet in her life.
-5-
It was one thing to know you were playing with fire but quite another to actually welcome the flame. That’s pretty much what he was doing with Julianna but he couldn’t quite help himself. Hadn’t she all but admitted that she was still in love with that jerk-off Boston? Yeah, but she was here with him and not the other guy so that was something, right?
“Mmmm, that’s so good!” Julianna exclaimed around a big bite of her sandwich. “Geez, Miles, if you weren’t a doctor you’d definitely have a shot at doing something with food. This is almost…well, let’s just say, the pregnant woman who gets sick at the drop of a hat, approves. I don’t even feel the need to vomit. That’s a good sign.”
“High praise,” he said, enjoying her enthusiasm, trying not to react too much to the fact that watching her eat was doing something to his groin area. “I will keep that under advisement in case this doctor gig doesn’t work out.”
She laughed and finished her sandwich, moving onto the mango salad. “That’s what I love about the island, everything is so fresh. I never knew how delicious fruit could be. It’s better than candy.”
“When I first arrived on the island, I think I lived on fruit smoothies for at least a month. I couldn’t get enough of them.”
“There are worse things to be addicted to,” she said, popping another bite before sighing with open contentment. “That was so good. Definitely on the top of my list for best picnic ever.”
Miles tried not to put too much value on the innocent statement but he liked her too much to let it mean nothing. “You deserve days like this all the time,” he said quietly, realizing he was risking much by making
such a statement. When she didn’t immediately shut him down, he pressed a little harder. “You have to know that you deserve someone who would consider it an honor to make you smile everyday.”
“Miles…” but there was something in her voice that gave him hope. “There are things you don’t know…”
“I don’t care,” he said quickly, reaching out to gently pull her to him. She made a small sound but didn’t resist. “You’re a woman worth fighting for, Julianna…” and then he brushed his lips across hers in a gentle, tender kiss that immediately set him on fire but he wouldn’t stop for the world. She leaned into him and sweetly opened for him, her tongue hesitantly searching for his and he pushed her slowly to the blanket. He framed her face, nearly delirious with the mad rush of pleasure at having Julianna beneath him that he struggled to keep his pace slow and tender when he desperately wanted to touch every inch of her, taste every private spot and swallow every gasp that popped from her mouth. “Tell me to stop and I will,” he promised her even though the words sliced him to ribbons. He withdrew to stare into her eyes, waiting for her to push him away, but she didn’t.
“Why would you want me? I’m a mess,” she asked, wearing a mask of vulnerability that broke his heart. She swallowed and gazed into his eyes as if needing to hear his answer but afraid, too. “I mean, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I don’t understand what I’m going through and how I’ll end up feeling by the end of everything. I don’t want to screw you over, Miles.”
Leverage (Part Three) (Billionaire Romance) Page 4