“Coming through!” Barron speeds in with Ellis on his heels. Both their arms are laden down with oversized metal trays, and it smells like I’ve died and gone to El Padre Cantina heaven.
Mom bows out of our little group. “I’d better get Ethan and Drake to help.”
Emma makes her way in and nods at Demetri. Her cheeks flood with color, and I’m sickened by her autonomic response to him. She’s almost as bad as my mother, but worse because she had the actual misfortune of sleeping with him.
Gage wraps his arm around my waist as Emma inches by.
“Did you see that?” I whisper as Demetri and Wes huddle in the corner, probably going over plans to ruin our evening. “She didn’t even say hello.” I leave out the part about her not welcoming me to the family. Let’s not get hysterical.
“She probably didn’t want to interrupt our conversation. Plus, she likes to boss my dad around.” He gives a peaceable smile while steadying me by the shoulders. “I promise you, my mother is just as in love with you as I am.”
“That’s not creepy at all.” I soften into him. On second thought, maybe I’m not so sorry Emma had a fling with the Evil One. I do love me some Gage. My eyes close as I melt into his chest a moment.
“Skyla.” Demetri comes over, touching his hand to my back, and I buck to avoid it. “Let me be the first to welcome you to the family.”
He knows about this. His mocking tone gives him away. I roll my eyes at the effort.
“Welcome, Skyla.” Wes nods. “I’ve always liked you.”
“And my blood,” I’m quick to remind him. “Let’s not forget how we met.” Wesley used to summon me to Tenebrous and suckle on my neck for his greedy gain.
“And that’s why we broke up.” A female voice pipes up from behind. I glance over to find Laken giving me a little wave.
“I’ll take a hug.” I wrap my arms around her. “Rescue me,” I whisper.
“Happy birthday!” She laughs. “Why don’t you show me around?” She shoots Wes the stink eye. “I’ve never been here.”
I give Laken a quick tour of the downstairs finally making our way outside to the back where the buffet is set up under a host of twinkle lights that my mother strung up herself this morning. It’s foggy out, but that’s just Paragon for you. Bree and Giselle are seated at the picnic table with a blonde I don’t know, but judging by the way she looks like the spitting image of Bree, I’m betting that’s her sister.
Brielle does the introductions and Brooke tells us all about her five year relationship with Brody Bishop. In. Detail. Apparently he has a thing for boiled peanuts and gets unnaturally aroused while watching her eat fruit.
“And because of you and Brody—Chloe and I ended up friends,” Bree says through a mouthful of enchilada. “So I guess I have your budding hormones to thank for that.” She gives her sister’s ponytail a playful tug.
Thank her? I’d like to scalp her.
“Where is Chloe, anyway?” Brooke juts her head out while scanning the crowd.
The scenery blurs for a moment, and Chloe materializes right next to me.
“Wow”—I scoff at Bishop’s ugly mug—“you really are a demon.” I look to Brooke. “This is what happens when you say her name.”
Giselle titters as if it’s the funniest thing she’s ever heard. “Chloe.” She says it just for fun, and I cringe. Conjuring Chloe is one game I never want Giselle to play.
“Are you nuts?” Laken yanks Chloe back by the arm. “You just did that out in the open in front of God knows how many people.”
“God does know how many people. What’s it to you?” She jerks her arm back. Her jowls are set in a rage at Laken for even thinking of touching her.
“Laken is right. Once again your stupid leash is way too long.” I allotted her that. And what good did it do me? All I found out was that Gage was a Fem. For some reason Chloe was the only one willing to gift me that little tidbit of genetic info.
“Laken, Laken, Laken.” Chloe shoots her a death stare. “I’m really getting sick of hearing about you from just about everyone.”
Knew it. Wes is still pining for her, and now Chloe is here bitching about it like anyone cares. Serves her right. Not even Gage’s evil twin wants anything to do with her.
“Don’t worry, Chloe,” I say. “Laken isn’t interested in stealing your new boy toy. That cheap Gage replica is all yours.”
Chloe’s eyes slit thin as razors. “As he should be. We’re thinking of starting a family.” A snide smile pulls up her face. She doesn’t take her eyes off Laken as she waits for some pathetic reaction. But I’m sure Laken is ready to laugh in her face. I bet Laken couldn’t care less. Hell, she’ll probably provide the ambiance.
Laken’s eyes grow glassy. “Wesley wants to have children with you?” Her voice grows raspy as if she’s on the verge of tears.
“You heard it here first. As soon as my ovaries are ripe, we’re letting the sex organs land where they may. God knows we’ve had enough practice.” She plucks the straw from Giselle’s drink and pulls it in and out of her teeth. “That boy is a wild bear in bed. I hope we have a little girl with his hair and his stunning blue eyes.”
“Wes has green eyes,” I correct, trying to pull her from her Gage stupor. “The blue eyes look at me in bed, not you.”
“He wears blue for me, Skyla. Wes said he would give me the world. He can’t wait to start our family. Who knew Wesley, your Wesley, Laken, is the man I’m destined to be with forever?”
Laken’s face ashens to match the fog.
“Ignore her. She’s a master bullshitter. Chloe wishes it were the truth.” I try to pull Laken’s hand toward me, but she carefully retracts. “She’s just trying to get a rise out of you.” I glance up for that damn useless bird. “Holden?” I shout to the sky.
Laken clears her throat. “Coop is calling me. I’d better go.”
Chloe sinks her hooks into Laken, pinning her wrists to the table. “Is it hard to love two men in secret? You can tell us, you’re among friends. Skyla here understands. Hell—she loves three men. And I’m beginning to feel the same, with your Wes and my Gage. Maybe Coop and Wes can work something out, and we can do a little swap now and again?” Laken extracts her hand and slaps Chloe across the face with a loud, crisp smack.
“Wow, Laken, that was the best birthday gift you could have given me,” I say stunned by the sheer force evoked in her effort. I bet she enlisted that underutilized Countenance strength of hers. Who knew that my two best friends would both turn out to be Counts? And my worst enemy is literally blood—one of my own, a Celestra.
Laken speeds inside just as that enormous rat with wings settles on the table, Holden. Chloe gags and chokes and—poof—just like that she dissolves as quick as she came.
“Sorry.” I fan the smoke in her wake and look superstitiously around. It’s times like these the mist that blankets the island comes in handy. At best someone might think their eyes are fooling them. This kind of thing would never fly back in L.A. “Thank you, Holden.” I give him a quick pet. It’s hard to hate him when he’s in the body of my beloved Nevermore. Speaking of which, I spot Nev and Ezrina talking to Marshall. “I’d better go mingle.” And share a word with my spirit husband about sexual boundaries both in and out of my dreams. It’s hard to believe I could drum up half of those sex scenes all by my lonesome. The night before last he had me tied to a chair in some seventeenth century brothel. Of course, I was giving it up for free—and with a smile on my face no less. Asking for seconds. Then thirds.
“What’s the big deal that Chloe wants to have a baby?” Giselle dips her fingers in the Chex mix that my mother set out in Styrofoam bowls. “I mean, I’m going to have a baby with Ellis. He has happy hips.”
I choke and fall back into my seat. “What did you say?”
“Congratulations!” Bree scoops her into a hug, and Giselle’s dark hair slaps me over both cheeks.
“You slept with Ellis? You procreated with Ellis?” Crap! Gage is g
oing to commit a felony no thanks to Harrison and his happy hips.
“No,” Giselle answers sharply. “But it’s going to happen. It’s natural. It’s what my body wants to do with his. And Ellis’s body needs me to help it get relief. This is a terribly frustrating situation for him. I’m causing him a lot of pain. I’ve turned his balls blue, Skyla! He might lose them if I keep up this frigid nonsense. And if we don’t practice, we’ll never have cute little Harrisons running around one day.”
“You’re quoting him, aren’t you?” I doubt Giselle even knows what the word frigid means. I smell a stoner at the bottom of this blue-balled guilt trip.
“Ellis knows things, Skyla. I don’t have a boy’s body, and neither do you. This is serious. If I don’t act fast he might have to walk with a cane for the rest of his life.”
Dear God. Harrison has rolled his last blunt.
“You’re right, Giselle. I’m not a boy. I have no idea about the struggles they go through what with all that frustration and blue body parts. A cane does sound pretty serious.”
She nods sternly at me as if I’ve finally seen the light.
“Don’t you worry”—I assure her—“I’ll support you one hundred percent if that’s what you feel you need to do, but, first, let me have a talk with Ellis.”
“Oh, he would love your encouragement.” Her lips press white. “But you don’t get to fill him with relief. That’s my job. Remember, my body is crying out for attention, too.”
“By the time I’m through with him, Ellis will be crying out for far more attention than you’ll ever believe.” I dart up and smack into a body. “Marshall,” I hiss his name like an expletive. “We need to speak.” I pull him down toward Drake and Brielle’s trailer lit up with twinkle lights and a pair of fold out lawn chairs out front currently occupied by Melissa and that carnival dweller she gave up my sister for. “For your information, I plan on having birthday sex later and—”
He cuts me off at the pass and pulls me in. “You wanted to offer me a personal invite?” His lips twitch upward. Marshall is horrifically stunning tonight. My sweet spot spasms just looking at him. Not fair and not right. Gage is the only one for my sweet spot.
Marshall runs his thumb in a slow circle on the inside of my wrist, and I tip my head back and moan. Damn hormones.
“Not now, Marshall. I’m at my wedding reception.” What am I saying? “Not ever.” I gently pull back my hand. “I was surprised I didn’t see you last night at the bowling alley. You missed quite a show.”
“I didn’t miss a thing no thanks to that nit wit who thinks I’m his private circus monkey.”
“Logan? Oh! That explains the bottle!” I spot Nev and Ezrina striding fast in this direction, and just behind them is an ever-growing shadow—Logan himself. “I have to make this fast, but the only person I wish to make love with tonight is my husband so—”
“Excellent, I’ll have Jock Strap disposed of until morning.”
“No, not that husband.”
“This one?” Logan gives me a brief hug. “Happy birthday, beautiful.”
“What are you doing with your husbands, Skyla?” Nev pulls me in with a quick embrace.
“Birthday sex,” Marshall flat lines. “Her perverse words, not mine.”
My mouth falls open.
“Do you have them choose straws or take them all at once?” Ezrina doesn’t miss a beat as the three of them break out in laughter.
Figures. The first joke Ezrina utters and it’s at my vagina’s expense.
“We’ve got news.” Logan pats me on the arm as if he were consoling me.
“It appears I was wrong.” Ezrina’s face hardens to stone. Now there’s the wicked witch I know and love. “The Dolomite worm does exist. It’s a hybrid of the cardinal worm with a genetically modified cellular structure.”
I’m stunned into silence for several reasons, one, Ezrina MacHatter is never wrong, and two, Dolomite worms.
“What exactly does this mean?” I know what this means. The Steel Barricade and their captors—I refuse to call them an army since they were practically frightened into joining their ranks—they’re going to eat worm shit, and the rest of the Nephilim are going to fry for it.
Marshall gives a bleak smile while glancing toward the crowd, and I follow his gaze straight to Wes and Gage who are still oddly together—with Demetri. God, how must the Olivers feel? But then again, who cares about Emma. She put us all in this predicament to begin with. But what about poor Barron? It must be a slap in the face to have his own son ignore him all night in favor of his idiot biological father.
“Skyla”—Ezrina hisses my name in a snakelike manner—“things can progress potentially quickly. How well do you trust Gage?”
I freeze as he heads in this direction. How can she ask me that? Clearly she’s been apprised of the fact he’s straddling enemy lines.
“Very much.” I swallow hard.
Marshall scoffs. “So much so she’s penciled him in for birthday sex later.”
“Stop.” Both Logan and I shout in tandem.
“You must procure a sample, Skyla.” Ezrina’s eyes turn an eerie shade of cinder.
“But there are thousands of us. You’ll never get them to multiply that quickly.”
“All I’ll need is to breed the bacteria.” She steps into me with a look as sharp as any knife she’s ever wielded. “Do it.”
“What’d I miss?” Gage pulls me in and drops a weighted kiss over my head.
“Not much,” I sing unconvincingly. I really don’t want to talk about bacteria a second longer than I have to at my wedding reception no less. “We’d better go and have dinner before my mother sends out a search party.”
Logan takes a step back toward the woods. “I think I’m going to take off. You two have a great time. Congratulations to you both. I really do mean it.” He shoots Gage a looks that lets me know things are still not right between the two of them.
“Don’t go. There’s cake.” As stupid as it sounds I need him here tonight.
“You’ll be fine.” He winks as if he heard, and, before we know it, he’s engulfed in a vat of powder white Paragon fog.
Gage and I head back to the party and indulge in plate after plate of the El Padre Cantina’s best offerings.
“God, we should have them cater every night,” I say to Gage and Bree as we finish up our meals. Melissa and Mia are busy collecting everyone’s plates and picking up the empty bottles and discarded napkins left behind. “Would you look at that? I’ll have to do something special for them since they’re being so nice.”
“Did you happen to see who your sister’s been talking to all night?” Gage nods over to where Demetri stands, but all I see is that dumb look on his clown Fem face. A figure comes into view next to him—Rev.
“She took him to homecoming.” I cringe at the idea. “And, as far as I know, she might have even spent the night with him. My mom is so wrapped up in getting her nipples sucked off, she’s totally neglecting the children from round one.”
“Don’t I know it,” Brielle clicks her tongue. “I had to change Beau Geste’s diaper for the first time last week. I’ve never seen anyone slack off so hard.”
Gage gives my waist a squeeze, his eyes heavy with concern. “If you think your sister is sleeping with the guy, we need to intervene. Hell, we should call the cops. Nothing about him is legal.”
“He’s Dr. Booth’s son.” I wish I were kidding.
“What?” His blue eyes shine like flames.
“You heard me. He’s got decent DNA.” I bite my lip. “No offense.” I wrinkle my nose. “Anyway, I don’t think we should call the cops just yet.”
A loud clapping noise calls everyone to attention. Usually that sort of thing is attributed to Tad, but I look over and find that Demetri has easily filled his circus seal shoes.
“Can I have everyone’s attention?” My mother shouts over his serial clapping. It’s like they’re a team now. “Skyla, Gage, would you please
come up?”
We reluctantly make our way to where my mother and my father’s murderer converge. The three-tiered cake my mother generously purchased from a real bakery graces a small round table behind us. The Olivers come over and stand on the other side of Gage. Emma looks as if she sat on a tack. Nice to know my marriage to her son brings out the best in her.
Mia and Melissa come by and furnish us each with champagne.
“I would like to make a toast.” Demetri raises his glass.
A toast? Sorry but Demetri has no right.
“Mom,” I whisper.
“Not now, Skyla,” she grits it through her teeth, her face still frozen in that oh-my-God-Demetri-is-nearby plastered grin. “He mentioned he has something very important to announce.”
Figures. Demetri plans on using my reception to give a shameless plug, but of what? His mediocre detective skills? Tours of his grandfather’s haunted estate?
“I’d like to thank you all for coming out—but first there’s a very special person I want thank for letting me back into their life after such a long hiatus.”
Mom touches her hand to her chest as she takes a quivering step forward. I shake my head at the audacity he has to hit on my poor mother at a moment like this.
“Gage—congratulations on your nuptials, you have a beautiful bride.” Demetri raises his glass ever higher. “You are everything I could have ever hoped you would be. And I am proud to call you son.”
Gage
Crap.
I give a sheepish smile to my father, the one who raised me, then a tight smile to my mother for obvious reasons. Demetri’s toast feels like the ultimate FU to my dad. Demetri will never be my father no matter what my genetic makeup has to say. And in turn, I’ll never be his son.
“Thank you.” I take a step forward with Skyla. “I have some people I’d like to thank as well. First, and foremost, my beautiful bride, Skyla, you are the light of my life. Not a day would be worth living without you in it.” My voice cracks, and I clear my throat. “I’ve known for so long that you were my destiny, and to have you here by my side, as my bride, well, it’s still unbelievable to me. Happy birthday.” I press my lips over hers and wish to God we could melt away to the butterfly room. I take a deep breath and face the crowd once more. “I also would like to thank my mother and father, the father that raised me, in whom I have no doubt that I am his one true son. Thank you for supporting Skyla and me. It means everything to us. And thank you to my new mother-in-law, Lizbeth, you really know how to throw a party.”
The Dragon and the Rose Page 16