Dirty Bad Boys Box Set: Forbidden Romance Collection

by Kat T. Masen

  I state the fact, “You loved him. You wanted a relationship.”

  “Yeah. But don’t worry, I know you have a rep for screwing women looking for a rebound, so thanks for tonight.” She chuckles softly, breaking the serious conversation.

  “Hey! How did you know that?”

  “Charlie,” she says loosely. “Apparently your mom knows your dirty secret, too.”

  “My mom!” I let out a groan. “It’s not dirty. Well, sometimes it is. But for the most part, it’s just two people having fun sex.”

  “Okay, so settle the rumor I heard. Hawaii last year. Boys’ trip?”

  “Boys’ trip turned into fucking a sugar mama,” I admit with a smile.

  “The plane ride over here?”

  How in the world did she know? Charlie!

  “Uh... the stewardess and the chick beside me?”

  “Noah!” She laughs loudly, smacking my bicep.

  “Erika initiated it to get back at her boyfriend. Ivana was just... well, a horny bitch.” When the words leave my mouth I realize how bad it makes me sound. Those women I fucked, they all had their baggage and a story to tell. What if they were just like Kate, with feelings and emotions, but carefully covering it up to prove a point to themselves that they could have sex with someone and push it all aside if only for that one time?

  Argh... my head begins to pound as the alcohol wears off. Too much relationship talk.

  “So basically, you prowl for women who’ve just broken up with someone?”

  “I don’t prowl…” I cough. “I merely happen to be there at the right time.”

  “Like some sort of sad pussy raider.” She falls into a fit of hysterics, clutching onto her stomach. “I’m surprised you’re not wearing a T-shirt underneath that dress shirt that reads ‘Mr. Rebound.’”

  “Ha-ha,” I respond sarcastically. “It’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ve been pretty good in LA.”

  What a big fat lie. The women here are gorgeous. Kate is no exception.

  “Uh-huh, like this morning?”

  “I live at Charlie’s, it’s not my fault I overheard your dilemma.”

  Her shoulders slump, relaxing her body as she continues to lean on me for support. “What’s wrong with us?” she asks. “We’re sitting in a jail cell, wet and covered in sand, laughing about how I almost got pregnant to a voyeuristic nympho, and how you’re a rebound hunter who’s a momma’s boy.”

  It is funny. I don’t know why. The two of us laugh continuously until we hear someone clear their throat. Charlie’s standing on the other side of the cell along with the police officer. She’s dressed in her yoga pants and a T-shirt that reads, ‘This is my mom shirt,’ and fittingly it’s covered in something orange. I look down and notice her hand is blue. How odd. With her arms folded, the creases in her forehead stare back at me, along with her eyes which make her look ready to strangle my neck. She hands the police officer an envelope. He removes the keys from his waist belt and opens the door, allowing us to leave.

  “Hey cuz,” I tread carefully. “Thanks for bailing me out.”

  “Hey bestie,” Kate repeats in a sweet tone, attempting to kiss Charlie’s ass. “Thanks for bailing me out, too.”

  There’s growling, louder than the sound of wolves, coming from Charlie. Lex is standing in the foyer, trying to keep a straight face. I want to laugh, but both Kate and I know better than to anger the beast even further.

  Charlie refuses to comment, turning around until we scurry behind her and follow them outside the building and into the parking lot.

  The car ride home is quiet, soft tunes playing through the speakers as Lex speeds along the freeway.

  I lean forward, resting my chin on Charlie’s chair to catch her attention. “So you’re not going to talk to us?”

  She remains quiet, purposely moving her head toward the window.

  “You can’t avoid me forever,” I say nicely.

  “I asked you to do one thing,” she says, livid, seething through her teeth.

  “It’s not entirely his fault,” Kate jumps in. “It was my idea. You can blame me.”

  “You don’t need to defend him, Kate. He’s a big boy,” Charlie argues back.

  I turn to look at Kate, who’s shrugging her shoulders at me. Aside from my mom, who’s a relatively laid back woman, I’ve never had to answer to anybody.

  As much as I love Charlie, I can tell we’re going to butt heads very soon, like in minutes.

  “It’s just so…” Charlie bellows, “… irresponsible! I’m not even going to ask about the nudity part. You were both drunk. Swimming in the ocean. God knows what could have happened to the both of you! Haven’t you ever watched Baywatch? There are no lifeguards at night to save you. David Hasselhoff needs his sleep, you know.”

  Baywatch? What the hell is she going on about?

  “It’s not like you can talk,” I argue back. “When you were fifteen, you got busted doing the same thing with that boy you always hung around.”

  Her head snaps my way, eyes like daggers.

  Crap.

  Lex interrupts our conversation. “What boy?”

  Kate mumbles under her breath, “Here we go. I can’t believe you mentioned another guy.”

  “I don’t know. Some boy she always hung around who everyone thought was her boyfriend,” I say out loud.

  “I wasn’t naked,” Charlie disagrees, keeping her tone pleasant.

  “According to the town gossip you were.”

  “The town gossip is your mother!” she responds, this time in a huff.

  “Well, maybe so. But here you are, quick to scold us for our ‘irresponsible’ behavior, yet you did the same thing. And much younger, I might add. You weren’t even of legal age.”

  Lex grips onto the steering wheel tight, turning his head to question Charlie, ignoring both me and Kate. “So you skinny dipped with what’s his face, yet in Cabo when I asked you, you got all prudish on me?”

  “Oh my God,” she shouts in frustration, throwing her hands in the air like a child. “Firstly, I didn’t skinny dip. I was wearing a bra and panties. Secondly, sitting in a Mexican jail is not on my bucket list. And Noah, you better believe I’m calling your mom.”

  “What!” I yell back. “Mom doesn’t need to know. Leave her out of this.”

  Kate shushes everyone in the car, attempting to create a Zen environment. “Look, let’s forget this night happened. We’re all grownups here. Let’s thank the Lord that nothing more happened... it could have been worse.”

  “How?” Charlie shoots back. The steam is shooting out of her ears. “Tell me how it could be worse than getting a phone call that your cousin and best friend were arrested for public nudity? Do you know you’ll have to go to court? And I bet you expect me to represent both of you since I’m a lawyer.”

  “I’m not pregnant,” Kate tells Charlie.

  Charlie falls into silence. I thought Kate would throw me under the bus, but instead, she saves me and buries herself under Charlie’s overbearing ways. The car pulls into the driveway and as soon as it stops, I quickly get out and follow Lex’s lead. Charlie’s not shy about lecturing Kate.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? You fucked him bareback, and do you even know how many women he’s been with?”

  I stand beside Lex as he removes his keys from his pocket. “Sounds like you guys had fun tonight.”

  “Too bad Charlie doesn’t see it that way.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her,” he tells me, followed by a disturbing smirk.

  “Oh man, that sounds dirty.” I cringe. “Any chance I can sleep in Ava’s room? Her loud snoring is exactly what I could use tonight.”

  “Trust me, Noah, your cousin is headstrong. Don’t be surprised if you find me on the couch because she’s on a ‘men and their stupid dicks’ rant.”

  “The Lakers are playing tonight. I’ll join you.” I laugh, trying to forget this night has even happened.

  And in the short distance
ahead, I see Kate rolling her eyes at Charlie. The mouth on my cousin. She’s going on and on about how irresponsible Kate is, and what was she thinking taking me out tonight. No wonder Charlie’s a lawyer. Her ability to argue is why she’s so damn successful. Plus, a huge pain in the fucking ass.

  We leave them out on the porch while Lex grabs us drinks and a bag of Doritos.

  I tell him I’ll be back and head for the shower. I make it quick, not wanting to miss a second of the game. I know at some point I’m going to have to tell my mom, I know I can’t hide this forever. But for now, I need to unwind. And a repeat of the Lakers game is just what I need.

  Charlie enters the room and sees both of us sitting in the recliners. She seems to have aged tonight, her face is withdrawn with dark circles starting to shadow her eyes. “I’m calling it a night,” she says, defeated.

  “Yeah, you look tired,” I say, watching the screen as Lex yells something about the game above the television.

  “Well, let’s see… I got puke on me when Amelia projectile vomited dinner. After getting her in the bath, I discovered that Ava took the blueberries out of the fridge and left them on the table where Addison decided they would be better squashed into the carpet.” She sighs, continuing on, “Then I get a call that my cousin and best friend were naked and having sex on the beach. To top it off, my bike, which you begged to borrow, is sitting in Malibu waiting to be collected.”

  “I’ll collect your bike, but we weren’t having sex,” I answer in my defense.

  “You know what?” She points at me. “I don’t care anymore. Do whatever the hell you want to do, Noah. Men and their dicks…”

  And just like Lex said, the dick rant began.

  Chapter Seven

  Charlie was far from forgiving the next morning. Purposely waking up the household early, banging on pots and pans, and running the vacuum just to annoy me. The girls had entered my room several times, and I vowed that one day I would wake up early enough to beat them to the chase. Since I’ve been here, I’ve stopped going to the gym and running each morning, something I did almost every day back home.

  I barely slept. The entire night I had reoccurring nightmares that a cast of crabs had invaded my pants and had bitten my dick off. I kept waking up in a cold sweat, checking to make sure everything was intact, only then to fall asleep and have the same nightmare.

  After showering and changing into my suit pants and collared dress shirt, I follow my usual routine by styling my hair and applying aftershave. I don’t feel like shaving today, allowing my five-o’clock shadow to remain on my face.

  Tired and irritable, I make my way to the kitchen, my stomach growling in the process. Even with the copious amounts of drinking last night, I crave something deliciously oily. I wonder what the chances are of Charlie frying me up some bacon.

  Kate’s already at the table, fiddling with her cell. She’d stayed the night instead of driving back to her hotel room. Lifting her gaze away from the screen, she spots me entering the room and mouths something about Charlie which I can’t quite understand. Ignoring her for just a moment, I grab the pot of coffee and pour myself a mug along with a piece of toast which sits on a plate beside the coffee maker. I’m a coffee addict at the best of times, but this morning, it tastes like fucking heaven.

  A second later, my cell vibrates in my pocket. I remove it and read the text Kate just sent me.

  Kate: Beware the wrath of a woman who didn’t get laid by her husband last night.

  Oh c’mon! I don’t need to know this shit. I shoot her an annoyed look, responding to her text immediately.

  Me: Fuck you very much.

  “I don’t know what it is you guys are talking about, but know this… I’m tired,” Charlie tells us with her back toward the table while making a sandwich which she slides into a brown paper bag.

  “Good morning, cuz, you look very nice this morning.” I smile, trying my best to get back into the good books with her.

  “Cut the bullshit, Noah. I look like death. I just got my period, so death is an understatement.”

  “See this… this right here is the kind of information I am not interested in. It would explain why the both of you are crabby. I’ve heard about girls being in sync,” I say with a mouthful of toast, unaware of the minefield I’ve just stepped into.

  “Did you also hear that period pain is like a thousand knives being stabbed into your vagina?” Charlie adds, taking a seat beside me. “And that it’s extremely awkward when your tampon fills up and you’re running to the toilet with what feels like a grenade between your legs?”

  Kate does nothing to save me. Instead, she bows her head trying to hold in her laugh, almost choking on the banana she’s eating. Lex walks into the kitchen, pulling a small suitcase behind him. He told me last night he had to be in Boston for three days. Also, he told me that he’s glad I’m here so someone can help Charlie. Not that I’ve been much help. Addison soiled her diaper the other day and I almost threw up in my mouth trying to find Charlie while carrying her at an arm’s length so she could change her.

  “Good morning, everyone,” he announces. “Good morning, my beautiful wife.” Kissing her on the cheek, she mumbles something before sliding the cup of coffee across the table to him where he takes a seat. The girls are watching television, something about a little girl with a whiney voice that speaks in Spanish.

  “What did I miss?” Lex asks, taking his cell out of his pocket.

  “Aunt Flow is visiting. Everyone is shitty and tired. Aside from that, you’re off to Boston to meet the Mackenzie Group, right?”

  “Yes. Did Margaret email you the presentation?” Lex questions Kate.

  Kate scrolls through her Blackberry, shaking her head in response.

  “Honestly, Kate. These older assistants you’ve been hiring are not as switched on as the younger ones,” he chastises.

  “Oh, really?” Charlie questions with a raised eyebrow. “Maybe you should find someone younger, like Montana perhaps? Maybe give her a call, see what she’s up to.”

  You could cut Charlie’s sarcasm with a knife. Lex puts his phone down and looks at Charlie oddly. I don’t know what’s going on or who Montana is, but I really want to slide out of my chair and hide under the table, pretending I don’t exist. Charlie’s one hell of a moody bitch.

  “No comment?” she asks, waiting for Lex. “I didn’t think so. Now, since we’re all here and we have approximately two minutes before Dora the Explorer finishes, we need to set some rules in this house.”

  “Like not talking about menstrual cycles?” I tell her.

  Lex nods in agreeance.

  “No, like your personal life ruining your chance at success,” she answers back.

  “How does that affect this household?”

  “It affects Lex,” Charlie points out.

  “Explain?”

  “Lex’s business cannot afford to have single men like you with a reputation for running naked around LA. Haden may run the company, but ultimately, Lex owns the business.”

  “What I do in my personal life does not affect my work,” I quip, quick to defend myself. “I take pride in my professionalism, Charlie. I work hard, and yes, I play hard. But that doesn’t mean I mix business with pleasure.”

  “He’s right, Charlotte, and if you knew what my executives got up to, you’d…” he trails off as he watches Kate dragging her finger across her throat motioning him to stop right there.

  “What are you talking about? Of course, it affects your business. A nice, well-rounded man in a steady relationship shows commitment.”

  “God, Charlie, what do you want me to do? Become a priest?” I complain.

  “No. I think you need to start getting serious. You’re twenty-eight, Noah. When Lex was twenty-seven he owned several companies and was set for life,” Charlie says.

  Kate interrupts the conversation, “Yes, he did. But Charlie, Lex was a manwhore. Granted, he was miserable and missing you, but nevertheless, he was far f
rom being a nice guy. He only got that far because he threw himself into his work to forget how much he hated life.”

  “Thank you, Kate. I’m trying to block out his manwhoreness and prove a point to Noah,” Charlie adds with sarcasm.

  “Hey.” Lex winces. “Can we stop talking about me being a manwhore? I’m offended.”

  “Oh, please…” Charlie rolls her eyes, “… you loved it.”

  I am done with the nagging, ready to pull out some lame excuse about an early meeting just to be able to leave the house.

  “Noah, you need to settle down. You don’t have forever to get married and start a family.” Charlie isn’t afraid to speak her mind. “You’ve had enough time being Mr. Rebound or whatever they call you. Time now to find your lady. No more messing around.”

  “My lady?” I laugh.

  Lex joins in, shaking his head.

  “You know what?” Kate adds. “Charlie has a point. You’ve fucked more women than most guys. I once read that twenty-eight is the age to start planning for the future. You don’t want to be forty looking for a wife. You’re only one step away from a lifetime prescription to Viagra.”

  “Forty?” I scowl. “C’mon. That’s the new thirty. I’m not interested in a relationship.”

  “So, there’s no one at all you see yourself settling down with? If you could have any woman in the world, who would you settle in a relationship with?” Kate asks.

  Charlie and Lex wait in anticipation.

  On top of the kitchen table sits a trashy entertainment magazine. On the front cover is Scarlett Winters, an actress who’s heavily in the tabloids due to her Oscar-winning roles and sometimes controversial love life. I won’t argue that she’s the most stunning woman on this planet. Platinum blonde hair with hazel eyes covered in long, luscious, black lashes. Her body is amazing. Implants, perhaps, but amazing curves. And her ass—to fucking die for. I mean, that booty would look fantastic sitting on my cock.