by Kat T. Masen
Kate’s leaning on my shoulder for support. “If you and I fall in love will you visit me every day and tell me stories?” Kate asks between sobs.
“Sure,” I humor her. “Do we need to fall in love? What if this Rachel McAdams is single? You know I’m not one to settle.”
Kate pulls back. “Three words for you… Lesbian. Anal. Fisting.”
I keep my smile hidden.
Charlie scowls, not getting the joke. “Honestly, the two of you are terrible. Two peas in a pod. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea that you guys fall in love. Then I would stop hearing about your tragic love lives…” She pauses, then continues with a mouthful of ice cream, “And I don’t want to know why you’re talking about lesbian anal fisting. Is that even a thing? My ass wants to die thinking about that.”
Lex walks into the room, dressed in a suit. He’s just come home from work, spending the day in San Diego at a business conference. The story of his life.
“Oh no, they got to you, didn’t they?”
Charlie runs up to Lex and gives him a great big hug, crying into his shoulder and telling him that if she ever lost her memory, she would want him to read to her every day about their lives and the girls. He indulges the hug, but rolls his eyes at the same time. Lex sits down and Charlie curls on top of him.
“Thanks, you guys, you know what’s more depressing than this movie? Seeing you guys all lovey-dovey,” Kate says, slumped in the chair.
“We could cuddle?” I joke, throwing a pillow at her face.
“I know you too well. You try to charm me that way and the next minute, you’re gabbing on about anal fisting again.”
Lex watches us, amused. “Should we leave you two alone?”
“No,” Kate jokes. “Please don’t. Noah just likes to push my buttons because he knows he can.”
“It’s very true.” I smile.
“Wait? Did you just... did you smile?” Kate grins.
“He smiled,” Charlie roars. She jumps off Lex and rejoices with Kate. “We made you smile. See, you’re healing your broken heart.”
“It’s the anal fisting,” Kate cheers. “The anal fisting made him smile.”
Lex grins at us until he breaks out into laughter. “I’m all for a good time but please, for the love of God, please stop talking about anal fisting.”
The four of us laugh until we’re out of breath, just when Lex gets a call from his London office. Kate joins him in his office, leaving Charlie and me alone. She suggests we go outside to get some fresh air while the other two discuss work.
“Noah,” Charlie says my name softly, sitting beside me on the chair on the patio. I don’t want to talk to anyone, wallowing in self-pity seems much more fitting. And I know she wants to talk about Morgan, again.
“Charlie, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, we can talk about something else,” she suggests. “Do you remember your last summer back home before you moved to the East Coast?”
“Uh... I think so.”
“You were thirteen and had just gone through this massive growth spurt.”
“Oh yeah, a year of awkward growing,” I chuckle lightly.
“So that summer, all the girls in your year were talking about you. How Noah Mason was the hottest thing to happen that summer and they were fighting about dating you. There was this one girl, Georgia I think.”
“Head of the cheer squad, Georgia?”
“Yes... I think. She was two years older than you. She was at the local store one day and I overheard her telling her posse that she wanted to date you because you were the hottest thing ever,” she exaggerates. “I knew she was a skank and I was furious when I heard that. I actually went up to her and told her that if she went near you, or hurt you, I would punch her in the vagina.”
“Charlie.” I laugh. “You didn’t? She was the hottest chick back then.”
“You’re my family, the brother I never had. I didn’t want anyone hurting you. And now is no different.”
“Now we’re adults, I should be able to take care of myself,” I remind her.
“I’m struggling here, Noah. I know you love her, but she’s married. It’s a big deal... the whole marriage thing. I’m not going to pretend to understand how she feels because every situation is different. I just know this… I hate the fact that she hurt you.”
“She’s separated, supposedly.” Even when I’m trying to defend Morgan, it comes out wrong.
“But don’t you think she owes it to her marriage to make it work before running off with someone else? Marriage is hard work.”
“I don’t know, Charlie. I’m so angry. She told me she has issues with the kid. Apparently, it’s her stepson and he’s special or something. I just don’t know. I was so angry and not really comprehending or listening to what she was telling me.”
A gust of wind sweeps through the patio, warm and calming my anxious nerves. The view from the back of the house is stunning, stretching into the darkness of the mountains. It’s quite serene, and I understand now why Charlie and Lex love this property even though it’s a fair distance into town.
“Kids can be finicky,” she informs me. “If her stepson has special needs then I can understand that a marriage breakdown could be difficult for her family. Again, I don’t know her circumstances. Why don’t you try to sit down with her and discuss it more openly?”
“Because I’m too angry, Charlie. I don’t understand why she can’t just walk away. It’s not even her son.”
“Well, Lex and Haden think that your problem would be better solved by some girl-on-girl mud wrestling.”
I laugh again, the boys know me well, though I play coy. “I’m not sure it’s exactly what I want to see right now.”
“That’s what I said. But what would I know,” she voices with frustration.
I rest my head on her shoulder, thankful that at times like this, I have family around. Even though Charlie and I had drifted apart over the years, she was and always will be my big cousin. The girl that can take anyone down.
The back door opens and Lex is dressed in his jeans and a black polo shirt. “So, boys’ night out?” he asks, hopeful.
“I think you need to take him out,” Charlie agrees with a smile.
“Wait, is my wife actually agreeing with me?”
“Show him some tits and ass. He needs to get his mind off things.”
Lex looks stunned, and Charlie brushes it off like it’s nothing. But she’s a woman, and I know her feminist side is rocking itself in the corner demanding him not to go.
“I think I have the best wife in the world,” he says gushing, wrapping his arms around her waist and planting a kiss on her neck.
Charlie smiles happily as if nothing else in the world matters. “Just take care of my brother,” she tells Lex before winking back at me and walking inside the house.
***
“Fuck, look at her ass,” Haden comments. He has a tub of popcorn and a beer, watching the wrestling like a crazed fan.
The two ladies are wrestling it out, drenched in mud, wearing the smallest of bikinis. The one with the big ass—Haden’s favorite—has fallen to her knees, exposing a very muddy crack.
“Damn!” he yells out, much to my and Lex’s amusement.
“I’ve never really decided whether I’m an ass or tits man... it’s been confirmed, I’m an ass man,” I yell over the noise.
“I’ve always been an ass man,” Lex follows, drinking his beer.
“Nope, you’re not allowed to talk about anything ass related because somewhere in your brain it leads to Charlie, and my brain senses those vibes and everything about that image is very wrong.”
“Is it wrong that I desire your cousin?” he asks, taking a dig at me.
“Desire sounds dirty and old man like.”
Lex hides his growing smirk. “I don’t dare say what my brain thinks.”
“Enough you two. You’re killing my buzz,” Haden complains, his eyes never leaving the arena.
; “Speaking of which, how on earth did you get Presley to agree to you coming here?”
Haden takes a sip of his beer with a dirty grin on his face. “I pretty much had to screw her brains out to the point where there’s no more sperm left in me. Her words... not mine.”
Lex breaks into laughter. “Me, too.”
“What? How is that even possible? It only took me ten minutes to get dressed until you said you had to help Charlie move some boxes in the attic to get to the special waffle maker because she wanted to make waffles.”
He shakes his head, along with Haden who’s laughing with his eyes still watching the wrestling.
“The waffle maker is in the pantry. But hey, thanks, cousin-in-law, for waiting around.”
Mental note: Contact realtor again and make sure they haul ass to find me a place.
That’s no different than the time I accidentally found ‘battery-operated goods’ in Mom’s closet while searching for some cash.
“Ten minutes, Lex? Really?” Haden queries with judgment.
“Twice. I had time restrictions.”
“Well, screw the both of you. I haven’t gotten laid since Kate’s and my second failed attempt. Can we change the subject now please?” I beg of them.
“All right, Kate’s like a sister to me and also an employee of mine. Please, do not talk about her in that way, let alone indulge me in any conversations that mention lesbian anal fisting again,” Lex states, disapprovingly.
“Ouch,” Haden adds, squinting his face on par. “Really? Anal fisting. She’s into that?”
“No... yes... I don’t know,” I say, not wanting to elaborate.
The girls move closer to us, and in one swift move, Miss Big Ass has pinned the other girl to the ground and removed her bikini top. Her nipples are covered in mud. Wet and erect. Damn.
This beats watching The Notebook.
Ginger, one of the waitresses, serves my drink and lingers around. “So, boys’ night out?”
On cue, Lex and Haden lift their hands, revealing their rings. What a bunch of pussy-whipped fuckers. I down the drink in one go and grab Lex’s. Ginger is starting to look really nice—blurry, but fuckable.
“And what about you?” she asks, lifting my hand to see it empty.
“Free as a bird.” I wink.
She whispers in my ear, leaning forward, “I get off in twenty minutes, and I’d like to get off with you.”
Fuck.
And as if that moment isn’t what I need, the guilt rushes over me so fast it almost knocks me over. She walks away, turning back to give me a wink.
“Go for it, you need to fucking let those blue balls loose,” Haden tells me.
“Nice mouth on her,” Lex adds. “At least get blown if the guilt is too much to fuck her.”
I don’t want to continue feeling like this, and so somewhere during the final round of wrestling, I say goodbye to Lex and Haden and make my way over to the bar. Ginger is hanging up her apron and talking to another waitress. I blink my eyes repeatedly, the alcohol making it hard to concentrate, and pull out my cell, typing a message.
Me: I fucking hate you.
“You ready?” Ginger asks with her purse in hand.
I follow her lead outside the venue and cross the street with her hand in mine. There’s a cab stand in front of the restaurant, another couple waiting for one to pull up. It takes me a few moments to realize that my pocket buzzed, and inside sits my cell. I pull it out, my fingers stumbling as I tap the screen. I squint my eyes and can barely make out the message.
Morgan: Probably why it hurts so much.
I stand perfectly still as Ginger repeatedly calls my name. It hurts all right, it hurts like fucking hell. In fact, hell would probably be a vacation compared to the place I’m in right now.
There’s a loud “hurrah” coming from the entrance of the restaurant, and with my eyes dashing toward the sound I watch as the door opens.
It’s her.
And standing right beside her is her husband. His hand resting comfortably on the small of her back. Morgan sees me, and instantly, her face falls. The dark circles covering her eyes become darker when her eyes land on Ginger, kissing the side of my ear.
“C’mon, Noah, time to have fun.”
And in an act of the universe being all fucked up, I follow Ginger into the cab. Avoiding Morgan’s gutted look.
For tonight, Ginger will erase the pain gutting my insides.
For tonight, she will be my rebound.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking about last night. My actions, and how everything in my life is completely messed up. Haden told me to take the day off, do whatever I need to do to clear my head. He happens to be great at giving advice, explaining how he and Presley came together after a rather complicated union. Then he told me Ginger’s quite a gal and to go back for seconds if possible.
I don’t know how to gain control of my life. And there’s nothing more frustrating than the loss of control. The inability to think straight and move on.
I know only one thing—it continues to hurt like hell.
And no matter how much I try I can’t stop picturing Morgan and her husband sleeping in the same bed. Imagining his hands wandering over her body while she sleeps. Every time the vision pops into my head, I want to slam my fist through the wall and direct the pain elsewhere.
The door creaks open, and I expect to see one of the girls standing outside but instead, I look up and see Morgan. Though my vision is tainted with only the color red, her beauty filters through and leaves me breathless. Fuck, I hate that she makes me feel this way. Like some superpower that controls my emotions.
She’s wearing a white dress with red heels, and her is hair tied up into a bun. I feel exposed, lying here in only my boxers. What the fuck is she doing here?
“Charlie, let me in,” she says, standing at the foot of the bed. “She just left with the girls.”
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your husband and son?”
“Noah, please, don’t you think after you ran off with some strange woman that I deserve at least to be able to explain myself? I’m hurting just as much as you are here.”
I didn’t fuck Ginger. I groped her fake tits for a while before abandoning her. The guilt consumed me, even in my intoxicated needy state.
I sit back, crossing my arms in the process, acting cold toward her and allowing my anger to be seen. Morgan sits on the edge of the bed, keeping her distance. She may not feel it, but my urges are in overdrive because I fucking miss her and she’s way too close for me to be thinking straight.
“Wyatt and I met just out of college. It was a celebratory Vegas trip that went horribly wrong. A friend of mine had been drugged, and I was too busy getting drunk.”
Her hands fidget with the edge of the blanket, carefully recounting her story. “Wyatt found her, and long story short, we started seeing each other. One night we both decided to get married, completely out of the blue. I did love him.”
It kills me to hear it. That fucking word does my head in. I bite my tongue, allowing her to finish.
“We’d only been seeing each other for six weeks before we tied the knot. My dad was livid,” she reveals. “Two months after we got married, Wyatt’s ex announced she was pregnant. I knew I couldn’t go back to my old life of drinking and partying. My destructive behavior began the moment my mom died and I didn’t know how to cope. I wasn’t like Scarlett. She knew how to deal with her emotions and move on. I bottled them up then screwed guys like they were going out of style.
“Wyatt begged me to stay, and I did. Michael was born, and I fell in love with him. He wasn’t mine but he was at our house every second week. Over time, I treated him like my own.”
I open my mouth without hesitation this time. “I don’t get how you could love a kid that belongs to your husband’s ex. And he fucking cheated on you.”
“He did, sort of. They slept together a f
ew days after he and I got together. I wasn’t exactly invested in the relationship at that point. I was infatuated with the physical side.”
Ouch. If that didn’t stab me right in the fucking heart. You probably deserve that for being a heartless bastard.
“Right,” I say with sarcasm. “So you’re allowed to fuck someone because he did?”
“Is that what you think this is, Noah? I didn’t expect this to happen, especially with you.”
“Well, I didn’t expect this to happen, especially with you,” I fire back.
The both of us remain silent, only the sounds of the wind against the window echo through the room. What now? How do I stop my growing need to touch her? The fact that she’s here in this room is giving me a raging hard-on. And I hate her for that.
“Noah, when I first saw you, all I wanted to do was fuck you. That’s it. You did something to me that I just couldn’t understand. My body betrayed me on so many levels. I would have happily just fucked you with no strings attached. And yes... you were a rebound. I was done with my marriage and you were on my radar.”
I don’t know whether to be horny or angry. Yet, I’m quick to judge her for wanting only that. And I am a hypocrite for thinking it’s okay for me to do that but not her. For men to sleep around but not women.
“I didn’t mean to have feelings for you. I talked myself out of it the moment I sensed them creeping in. I haven’t even known you that long, but you’ve done something to me that I can’t change even if I wanted to.”
There are no more words left to be said. I need to be inside her right now because the feeling consumes me and nothing in this world matters right now. All judgment aside. I lean forward and drag her body toward me, pinning her down.
“I’m going to fuck you,” I whisper in her ear. “Because I don’t know what else to do. Because I’m obsessed with you and you hurt me so bad.”
Screw the foreplay.
I slide my boxers toward the middle of my thighs—enough to expose my cock—and shove her dress past her waist and over her head. Her panties, white and lacy thin, are pushed aside. The smell of her arousal teases me, and with no warning, I ram my cock into her pussy hard, watching as she arches backward while moaning into the empty room.