Her hand clenched around her water bottle. “What are you sorry about?”
“For jumping down your throat when you walked in. I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”
“Why?”
“For letting her tempt me.”
Darcy’s legs trembled. She remembered having the same reaction to a group of firefighters barely a month ago.
But she wasn’t going to faint. Not now. No way.
She’d faced her own past; she could face Bryan’s, as well. And even though she realized he held her heart in his hands, she wanted to trust him with it. She wanted to fight for them.
Would he really betray her with the woman who’d broken his heart? Who’d hit his confidence like the suddenness of a bomb exploding? Who was a constant reminder of all he’d lost?
Not now. No way.
She set her water aside and crossed to him. He stood as she approached and yanked her into his arms. “Dammit, Darcy. I’m supposed to be over all this.”
Pressing her face against his neck, she drew in the scent of his cologne’s warm cedar fragrance, welcoming her into his embrace like a comforting blanket. “Yeah. Let me know when that happens. I’d like to join you.”
“Nothing happened,” he said, squeezing her tight.
She leaned back and studied him. “Nothing, huh?”
His gaze darted away, and when he looked back at her, his eyes were clear and focused. “She…she made an offer.”
“And you wanted to accept.”
“Yeah.”
Her stomach dropped, and she wiggled her way out of his arms. “I need to go.”
“Please don’t.” He grabbed her by her wrist. “I wanted to accept for a second. I wanted her to regret leaving me. And she does. Or so she says.”
A shiver of fear went through Darcy’s body. “Does she? So you dived into the beer to celebrate?”
“No.” He tugged her down to sit beside him on the sofa. “No.” He set his beer bottle on the side table. “I was confused because I didn’t know how to tell you. How to explain. I’m furious at myself for being tempted. For forgetting, even for a second, that she’s the enemy.”
“Because she left you for another man or because that other man is a member of the Baker family?”
“Both.”
She closed her eyes briefly and fought to accept the idea that personal and racing issues blended. The rivalry with the Bakers had started long before she arrived, and she wasn’t likely to affect any change.
But her concerns were personal at the moment, and she couldn’t care less about GRI, trophies or championships. Her heart was on the line. Her heart, which had jumped with such fear when she’d seen Nicole slip out of Bryan’s motor home that she’d darted out of sight and run away from him and her feelings.
Maybe I should have kept running.
But, no, even as that thought raced through her mind, she pushed it away. She was done trying to escape from pleasure and pain. She was constantly proving to people how strong she was physically—challenging every available male to a push-up contest came to mind in particular—and it was time to prove her strength in other ways.
It was time to let her love for her husband rest in peace. It was time to leave the past behind and take a risk. Her love for Bryan, which felt so fresh, new and scary was already being tested.
But she could handle that, too.
She swallowed the tears clawing their way up her throat. “So, on some level, you still…want her. But what does she mean to you? What do you feel for her?”
He slid his thumb across the back of her hand. “I wish I could say nothing. I’d hoped she meant nothing.” His gaze flicked to hers. “But after tonight, I have so many regrets.”
She wanted to shudder, but refused to give in. “Okay.”
“I should have been a better husband—more attentive, more sensitive. But, in a way, I’m also glad I wasn’t.” His eyes burned brightly blue. “Because I never would have met you.”
Her breath caught; her heart thumped like crazy.
“I don’t want her.” He cupped her cheek. “I want you.”
Studying his handsome, so familiar and cherished face, a smile tugged at her lips. She leaned toward him. “Same goes.”
Their mouths met, and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, the relief that he’d seen through whatever scheme his ex had cooked up made her light-headed.
And while his confession was a balm for her heart, she didn’t believe for a moment that everything was all roses, champagne and proposals. Certainly neither of them were ready for that.
But they were ready for the next step.
Gripping his hand in hers, she pulled back and rose. “I’ve spent the night in your bed twice. I was alone both times. I’d like to try it with you there this time.”
He searched her gaze. “Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Tucking her against his side, he led her down the hall.
AS LIGHT PEEKED THROUGH the blinds in the bedroom, Bryan slid his hand across Darcy’s bare stomach and pulled her back against him. “Morning,” he mumbled next to her ear.
“Already?” She pressed her face into the pillow. “Make it stop.”
“No early-morning jog?” he teased. “There’s a lake.”
“No jogging. I’m exhausted. You kept me up half the night.”
He kissed her shoulder. “Want me to help wake you up?”
She turned her head. Sparks of desire were evident in her golden eyes. “You could do that.”
He proceeded to show her just how happy he was to accommodate her needs.
AFTER DRAGGING HIMSELF out of bed and sliding on a pair of jeans, Bryan headed into the kitchen to start the coffee. If Darcy was going to be the lazy one, somebody had to get breakfast and their day started.
With the coffee brewing, he pulled the egg carton out of the fridge and reflected on how precious these stolen moments with Darcy were. His crazy life. How long could he have lasted before he burned out? How long before his family’s company became a burden instead of a joy?
Darcy had certainly changed him.
But was he good for her?
He dragged her all over the country and rarely spent any time with her, other than during meals and exercise. He was moody and stressed about Cade’s quest for a championship. They’d been testing so often during the early part of the week, he hadn’t taken her out much when he was home.
And while he was thrilled she’d spent the night in his bed, he worried that he’d somehow pushed her into a decision she wasn’t ready for. Would she have guilt and regrets? Would she think of her husband? Compare Bryan to him?
He’d been honest with her about Nicole, but had he been wise in confessing his brief temptation? Had Darcy slept with him to prove she was the one he desired?
The possibilities made his stomach clench.
“Can’t even think positively for ten minutes, can you, mate?” he muttered to himself as he pulled out the omelet pan.
When he walked into the bedroom a bit later with coffee and a cheese omelet, she was still lying in bed, her eyes closed. “Do I smell food?”
Obviously not asleep, though. He sat on the edge of the bed, and she dragged herself up, pushing her tangled hair out of her eyes. “At your service.”
She reached for the plate and mug, taking a sip before setting the coffee on the bedside table. “Do I get sexy early wake-up calls and breakfast in bed every morning from now on? Clearly, I should have jumped you long before last night.”
Though it was wonderful to see her relaxed and happy, he couldn’t let his doubts linger. “Do you feel okay about last night?”
Her eyes danced. “I’m much better than okay.” She fed him a bite of eggs. “Gee, Bryan, you could flatter yourself a little.”
“I’m glad I can, but I was thinking more about how you feel emotionally.”
“We’ve had sex and now you want me to talk about my feelings? Good grief, you�
�d better get out there with your testosterone buddies ASAP, or they’ll revoke your man card.”
“They probably would.” He met her gaze and made sure his stare was serious. Was she avoiding talking about how she felt on purpose? “We waited a long time to take this step, and I want to be sure you’re okay with your decision.”
Setting aside her plate, she linked her hand with his. “I’m fine. Truly. No regrets.”
“So you didn’t sleep with me because of what I told you about my ex?”
She angled her head. “Huh?”
Her simple confusion was a great relief, but he needed to be sure. “I told you I wanted you, but did you need me to prove it?”
Golden stars sparked in her eyes. “I only needed you to touch me. If there was any proving going on, it was on my part. I wanted to show you how much you mean to my life. I wanted to finally put the past behind me.”
He searched her gaze. “And have you?”
“I have.”
Kissing her softly, he closed his eyes to enjoy the relief and promise of her words. “I’m glad,” he said when he leaned back. “My jealousy over your deceased and heroic firefighter husband was getting to be kind of pathetic.”
“His memory will always be important to me, but you have absolutely no reason to be jealous.”
“I’m the first since him, though, right?”
“You are.”
“And you didn’t think about…” he trailed off, feeling stupid for bringing up the subject, but as long as they were letting go of the past, they might as well really do it.
“No.” Smiling, she laid her hand on his bare chest. “There’s plenty of you to concentrate on.”
“I have to keep up with you and those push-ups, don’t I?”
She picked up her plate and offered him another bite of omelet. “I’m not challenging you anymore. You’ve beaten me the last three times.”
“Remember when I could barely do five?”
“Sure.” She sipped her coffee, then handed the mug to him. “It was only a few months ago.”
“It seems longer. It’s weird imagining my life without you.”
“Of course it is. Who’d feed and nag you?”
Again, he got the odd sensation that she was deliberately making their conversation casual. He, however, was concerned. He wanted to make sure she was satisfied and happy. He needed reassurances that they were secure as a couple.
Hell, maybe he did need his man card revoked.
“Who’d nag me?” he asked, going with her teasing tone. “Oh, just my mother, my sister, the crew chiefs, engineers and fabricators. Carmen, our office manager, being the mother of three, is also an expert. Even my dad—”
“You need to release some of that tension.” She took the coffee mug, setting it and the empty plate aside. “Should we go jogging around the lake or…” She glanced back at the rumpled bed.
An insatiable Darcy was beyond enticing. And burning calories could be accomplished in ways besides running.
WHEN RACE MORNING DAWNED, Bryan woke with his stomach clenched.
Despite the fact that Darcy lay next to him, her breathing deep and even, her beautiful face relaxed with sleep, he couldn’t stay in bed.
Life couldn’t be all shared cheese omelets, cool sheets and heated sighs.
At least not his life.
He slid out of bed, then leaned over and brushed the back of his hand across Darcy’s downy cheek. He inhaled the scent of her tropical-fruit-and-vanilla perfume, which he’d actually discovered the night before was a lotion she used twice daily—one he’d generously volunteered to rub on her to make sure she covered all the important spots.
After a quick shower, he dressed in jeans and a GRI candy-apple red polo shirt. No matter what happened that afternoon, no one could deny where his loyalties were placed. He recalled vividly the morning he’d gotten up six years ago without a trophy from Indy, but by the time he’d gone to bed—in the champagne-soaked wee hours of the morning—he had that precious goal checkmarked.
Finally.
At the moment, and especially now that he was retired, he was incredibly proud to have his name as part of the long and storied history of the grand track. All the greats had kissed those famous bricks, and he wanted the same for Cade.
The excitement, anticipation and nerves his brother would feel that day were familiar to Bryan. They’d once been his life, too, after all.
He knew Cade had eaten his traditional night-before-race meal of lasagna and garlic bread sticks. He’d wake up and go through his morning routine in an exacting order. He’d wear his lucky socks and hunt down Parker to make sure he was carrying the lucky penny. He’d do nothing out of the ordinary or anything to tempt Fate.
Was it all just a bit silly?
Sure, but Bryan would never tell a driver that. He’d done the same thing. Just as those before him had, and those who’d come after him would.
Has it really been six years since I won here?
It meant he’d been retired for nearly five full seasons. His entire career in NASCAR Nationwide and NASCAR Sprint Cup Series had only spanned that time period. In an odd way, he still thought of himself as a driver, not an owner.
Darcy woke up as he was tying his tennis shoes. “I thought I was the early riser in this relationship.”
Crossing to the bed, he sat beside her. He tucked her tousled hair behind her ear on one side, then leaned down to kiss her. “Sympathy stress for Cade.”
“Hmmph. For Cade, huh? How about you?” She sat up and stretched her arms over her head. “No Indy win for GRI since you took over as head honcho.”
“You’ve been talking to Rachel.”
“Actually, it was your dad who shared that tidbit.”
He sighed. “I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about some slick-talking dude like Parker coming along and stealing my girlfriend. I can count on my own father for that.”
“He brings me chocolate, and I listen to his dating woes. It’s a beautiful relationship.” She curled her arms around his neck. “And don’t worry about Cade. He’ll be fine.”
“Is that right?” Since she’d insisted on sleeping in a baseball-style shirt with Cade’s number and colors, he knew he wasn’t the only one trying to send positive vibes his brother’s way. “I’d be happy if Shawn or Kevin won, too, you know.”
She kissed him briefly. “No, you’d be content.” She climbed out of bed.
“You don’t have to get up for me.”
“Hey, I’m a supportive girlfriend. I’m here for you in your needy and desperate times.”
“I’m not needy or desperate.” He watched her hips sway as she headed toward the bathroom. “I have you in my bed at night, in the morning, and actually the afternoon could be fun, too.”
“Exactly. I’m used to losing sleep.”
He leaned against the door frame of the bathroom while she started the shower. “So you’re reluctantly dragging yourself awake as a show of devotion to me and my anxiety?”
“Well…”
“You’re cooking breakfast for the teams, aren’t you?”
Whirling, she planted her hands on her hips. “Who’ve you been talking to?”
“Big Dan. I was going to wake you up before I left if you weren’t already.”
She pouted briefly. “I’m still concerned about your anxiety.”
He kissed her forehead. “Don’t be. We’re going to win, you know. I can feel it.”
“Don’t say the W word to Cade—or anybody on the team.”
“Right. The jinx.” He reluctantly turned away. They had their last off weekend coming up at the end of next month, and he mentally made a note to ask Parker for a good island spot to take Darcy. He’d love to pamper her and spend huge chunks of time with her while she wore nothing but a bikini.
“Can you give me fifteen minutes?” she asked. “We’ll go together.”
“Sure.” He shrugged. “I need my breakfast, too.”
As she
tossed a washcloth at him, he closed the door and headed to the kitchen. He started the coffeepot, then peeked out the window.
He saw no one moving along the rows of motor homes, but he knew there were plenty of people stirring inside. The garage would open within minutes. The team members—from engineers to front tire changers—would arrive, driving in from their hotels, anticipating hot coffee and the rush of adrenaline. Express planes would bring in the families and crews who hadn’t come for the whole weekend. The media center lights would flicker on, and the stories would begin to unfold.
After the lousy practices, Cade and the other drivers had qualified well. His brother was starting fourth, which was critical, since the race was rarely won by anyone not starting in the top fifteen.
Would he be the story of the day?
True to her word, Darcy appeared in the kitchen a few minutes later. She wore jeans and her No. 56 red-and-white shirt, the Huntington Hotels logo emblazoned proudly across her chest. Her eyes were bright, her lips glossy pink.
He handed her a disposable cup full of hot coffee.
She took a sip, then hugged him. “You’re my champion.”
“At least until my dad steals you away from me.”
“Jealous?”
He opened the door and led her out into the muggy morning air. “Intensely.”
“Don’t worry.” She linked their hands. “We’d wait a respectable amount of time before we ran off to Vegas and eloped.”
“Funny. You’re really funny.” He drank his coffee as they walked through the compound toward the garages and pushed away the ridiculous image of Darcy hugging his father in any way other than friendship. He wouldn’t put such a vile manipulation past his ex, but Darcy? No way. “You said Dad had dating woes. I thought he’d let his resentment of the florist go. He and Leanne seem inseparable lately.”
“They’re…okay.”
“So, what’s going on?”
Darcy glanced at him. “Do you really want to go into this on race morning?”
“I guess not. Is there a quick summary?”
“He’s looking for a way to reconcile with your mother.”
Bryan ground to a halt. “Not on race morning.”
Winning It All Page 19