Corbin must have seen something that he liked in the dazed expression on her face because his smile turned cocky, and he swooped down once more to gently lick the corner of her mouth before resting his head on her shoulder and murmuring, “That was my first.”
Quinn was going to die if he kissed her again. Happily sure, but her body was going to burst into flames, and she was just going to depart this earth if he so much as touched her already sensitive lips one more time. She ran her fingers gently through his coal black hair, marveling at the softness, and it took her a moment to register what he had said.
“Wait, what?”
He huffed a laugh into the sensitive skin between her shoulder and neck, and wriggling away; she peeled his face up to look him in the eyes. There was no way she understood what he was saying right now.
“You were my first kiss. About ten minutes ago. About two minutes ago, you were my second kiss. In about 30 seconds, you will be my third kiss. And I am going to count them all until I get to one hundred, and then maybe I will keep counting; I don’t know,” he said as he laid another gentle kiss on her cheek, lingering for a moment before pulling away again.
“Quinn, I know there is a lot you don’t understand. Hell, there is a lot I don’t get, and I remember everything. I was born a raven, with a raven’s sensibilities and a raven’s mind. I bonded to you ten years ago, not even realizing what was happening. I remember as a bird feeling cautious but intrigued. You were the most radiant being I had ever seen, the most brilliant shining thing, and I am an expert on shiny things.
“You shared your food with me, and I wanted to be close to you. I don’t know how much you remember about what happened, but it was bad. I remember thinking I would do anything if you would just wake up and not be bleeding out on the forest floor, but I was so helpless.”
Corbin shifted his weight on the small sofa and pulled Quinn’s legs up and over, so she was sitting with her legs across his lap. Seemingly more comfortable after that, he continued his story.
“In my mind, I was begging anyone listening to give me the strength to help you. I would have done anything at all to be able to pick you up out of the dirt and get you the help you needed. Do you know what happened? Someone heard me, but it wasn’t some omnipresent being in the sky. It was you, Quinn. I don’t know how you made it as far as you did in life without knowing, but it doesn’t change the fact that you have magic. Not only do you have magic, but it must be some kind of strong magic to have responded to me while you were unconscious, and I know it was you. I know it was you because I could scent you as the light washed over me and through me. Your rose gold light that smelled like fresh rain and growing green things. It was amazing and painful and beautiful, and the next thing I knew, my knees were hitting the ground. I had knees, and they were connected to my very human legs that held up my very human body.” Corbin laughed as if he found something he said funny, but Quinn couldn’t for the life of her understand what was humorous about the situation. She wanted to ask how it was possible for her to have done the things he was telling her she had done, but he had more to say, and she wanted to hear every word. With every syllable he spoke, a little bit of the crushing weight on her chest lifted.
“The old man had to help me talk, he had to use his magic to clothe me, and he even had to give me an alibi. My wish got me the strength to save you, but it didn’t do shit to get me any further than that. Apparently, you have to be very precise with magical requests. Who knew?” Quinn certainly didn’t know. She didn’t know squat about magic, but she was pretty open minded to learning if it meant spending more time with Corbin and listening to him talk. Corbin paused in his speech and cleared his throat, as if the next words to come out of his mouth were painful. Quinn noticed that his hands had been running up and down her legs in an attempt to keep himself calm.
“Miss Benny took me in. She raised me, already a half grown man, for the last ten years. I’ve learned everything I could about what it meant to be human. I studied nonstop and did my best to exist as my new self.” Quinn wondered briefly if kissing was part of his curriculum but couldn’t dwell on it because Corbin kept talking. “To me, there is nothing without you, Quinn. You were it at the beginning, and when you left and never came back, I got a hole in me that I didn’t know how to fill. I lost my wings willingly, and my only real wish was for you to live, but it’s been hard,” his voice cracked on the words, “it’s been so hard and lonely, and sometimes I don’t know who I even am. So when I say that I have never kissed a woman before you, Quinn, I mean I have never even had the urge before. For me, there has only been you. For the last ten years and for as many as I live from now, there will only be you for me.”
Well holy hell, Quinn had not been prepared for that level of devotion. She knew she felt a strange connection to him sure, but for him to feel that way about her just seemed odd. She had been suppressed for so long, Quinn had no idea what was normal and what wasn’t. She knew that she wanted to look into his metallic tinged eyes a little bit longer. She knew that his hand running up and down her legs felt comforting to her. She knew that she wanted him to stay close to her, and she couldn’t imagine in two weeks going back to living a secluded life without him. It had not even been a full day up here in the Northwoods, and her entire life had flipped upside down. Or maybe it was right side up now? Certainly, the last ten years had been no way to live. Corbin didn’t know everything, though; he didn’t know what a terrible mess she really was. Why she stayed alone in her apartment, why she couldn’t be around other people, why she couldn’t have relationships. Quinn took in a deep breath and held it in her lungs for a moment, then exhaled it on a sigh. This was either going to be ok, or it was going to send him running. It was confession time.
“I lied a little bit ago when I said I had experience.” Quinn looked at Corbin, a pink blush staining her cheeks. He didn’t say a word, but he figured his raised eyebrows were enough of a response for her to continue. If she was going to talk, Corbin was going to listen to every word she had to say because he had just laid himself wide open to her, and she could either accept him as he was or walk all over his entrails. He had just given her the kiss of a lifetime, and if the way she had been grinding on his boner was any indication, she had enjoyed it. His hurt and anger weren’t erased so quickly by lust, however, so her next words were incredibly important to Corbin.
“After the accident, I was in the hospital in Duluth for months. I had a couple of surgeries and healed up ok.” She parted her hair on the side to show Corbin the five-inch scar that ran like a river across her scalp, as well as the tiny white lines around her nose and jawline, “But the real concern for the doctors was the things I was saying. I kept talking about a raven, and a boy, and thunderclouds trying to kill me. Since it was pretty much accepted that a tree branch had fallen on me and an employee of the lodge had come across me while checking the area, they considered me delusional. I was put on some heavy doses of antipsychotic medications, and by the time I was healed up enough to go back home to Ohio, I had missed too much school to pass my grade. I was held back a year and struggling to keep up. My sleep patterns were a mess, and I was emotionally and socially stunted due to the heavy medications. My friends had all moved on to the next grade, and it was really hard to connect with new people when you are pretty much a living zombie, and high school is the most brutal time for any teenager. When I was seventeen, I got a boyfriend.”
Quinn paused for a moment at the last statement, and he realized that he was squeezing her knee just a little too hard. He didn’t even realize he had been doing it, so when she laid her hand over his on her leg, he loosened his hold, then grabbed her hand and wound his fingers through hers, squeezing more gently to urge her to continue.
“I had a boyfriend for about two weeks. He was nice to me, and when he kissed me it wasn’t terrible, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to expect. One night, he asked me to go to a bonfire at his friend’s house, but when he picked me up in h
is truck, there was no bonfire, nor a friend’s house. He took me to an empty field to “make out” and just told me that lie so I would agree to go with him. I was nervous and didn’t know what I was supposed to do, but when he put his hand on my breast, I decided I didn’t want to do that, I didn’t want to be there anymore. I told him I wanted to go home, but he didn’t listen, and when he unbuttoned my jeans and tried to put his hand inside my panties, I freaked out. I mean, he wasn't mean or super forceful, but I told him to stop, and he just ignored me like I wasn’t even talking.” Quinn closed her eyes against the memory, and Corbin felt rage building in his chest. How dare someone do that to her. How dare someone try to touch her against her will? He wanted to know that guy’s name. He wanted to know where he lived. He wanted to beat him within an inch of his life; he wanted to choke the piss out of him until his eyes puffed out of their sockets. Instead, Corbin balled his hands into fists and stayed silent, and swallowing the bile created by his ire, he patiently waited for Quinn to continue.
“I don’t remember what I did, but when the branches of the tree we were parked under came shooting through the side windows of the truck, he let go in a hurry. I remember him screaming as he tried to get the branches unwound from his arms. He was bleeding, and I could only lay there in the passenger seat, frozen with my jeans unbuttoned. I felt dirty and used, and nothing had even happened. He was terrified of me after that, even though there was no reason for him to think I had done anything, and he told everyone his window got broken from a basketball hoop falling over in his driveway. Not sure why anyone believed it though, he didn’t even have a basketball hoop.”
Quinn paused for air, but he knew there was more. He knew by the way that she blew out her breath, making the stray hairs around her face move, and the way that her spine grew ramrod straight, that he was not going to be happy about what came out of her mouth next.
“Bullying got bad after that, and he was the ringleader. He never came at me personally, but the girls in his circle of friends were pretty brutal. They would taunt me in the hallways, one sat behind me in class and actually cut my hair without me knowing. I didn’t notice it until I got home, and my foster mom thought it was me doing “self-harm,” so I got sent back to the doctors and, of course, my medication got upped. It got so bad that I quit school and graduated online. I completed my required credits and got my diploma mailed to me when I was 19. The stress of having such a damaged kid was too much for my foster parents. They had started fostering me in the hopes of giving an older child a better life, but they certainly had not signed up for that kind of damaged.” Quinn laughed a bitter sound that was completely devoid of humor. “I’m not saying they didn’t love me; I grew up until that point in the system as a pretty happy and well cared for kid. I know I was a damn unicorn in the foster system, but the accident wrecked all that. My foster dad left us before I even left school, and when I say left, I mean he just went away. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since I was 17. My foster mom withdrew into herself, and by the time I had published my first poetry book and moved out of the house, we weren’t even talking to each other when we passed in the hallways. I’m not mad at her, though; she could have sent me back to age out of the system, but she didn’t. I don’t know if it was out of loneliness, guilt, or embarrassment, but I think she was relieved when I left and all I wanted to do was be alone. Alone to write in a safe little apartment where I could take my meds and not dream and not have plants trying to snatch at me.” She blew out another breath and looked at Corbin, and he was gutted by the expression there like she expected him to reject her for being broken. Like he could ever do that. Like he would ever toss her away for being as damaged as he was. But still, he didn’t have the right words.
The grumbling of her stomach was so loud that Corbin felt it under his hands. Food, he needed to feed her. He remembered there had been something on the kitchen table, covered in plastic wrap by the note he had almost read earlier. He was pretty sure he knew who had left it there, and if he was correct, it would need to be eaten before too much time has passed because the contents wouldn’t be stable for very long out of refrigeration. Of course, who knew with Miss Benny; that lady had a way about her.
Corbin patted Quinn on the legs without saying a word, and when she swung them down off his lap, he winced at the look of sadness on her face. She thought he was rejecting her, but he still didn’t have the words to tell her otherwise. He would just have to show her. He got off the loveseat and walked to the table, smiling like a fool when he noticed the plate sitting on top of an ice pack, with a small pile of disposable napkins next to it. That’s a lot of napkins for one person to need, Miss Benny, he thought to himself. When he took the cellophane off of the plate though, he knew. Miss Benny knew damn well what she was doing when she left this plate of food here. He would bet his beat up old Blazer that old biddy knew he would be here right now, at this moment.
He crossed the room with the plate in his hands, still not saying a word. He sat back down on the loveseat and gestured for Quinn to put her legs back across his lap. She eyed him nervously; he still hadn’t said a word, and she looked like a scared little rabbit, waiting for the words that would break the heart that she had just laid open to him. He didn’t want her scared though. He wanted her fed, and she would know through this food that he forgave her because there was nothing to forgive. The only way to heal the wounds from the past was to move forward. Together.
Corbin ripped off a corner of the sandwich on the plate and watched as she took it from him and took a cautious bite. He watched as her eyes brightened and her cheeks stained pink again. Her eyes grew misty as she chewed, and Corbin still remained silent. He just ripped off another piece and handed it to her, waiting patiently while she chewed. He ripped off a third piece for her before taking a bite for himself, eating slowly and savoring the flavor. After all, Miss Benny sure did make the best egg salad sandwiches in the world, probably the whole universe even, but it had been ten fucking years since he had tasted one this good.
They sat in silence, the only sound was Quinn sniffling every so often, and Corbin was enough of a gentleman to ignore the sneaky tears that ran down her face. They didn’t have to talk right now; they were sharing something different. They were sharing the acceptance of each other just the way they were, jagged edges, broken pieces, and all. When the last bites were gone, Corbin took a napkin and wiped his hands. There was a little bit of egg on the corner of Quinn’s mouth and before he could think better of it, he wiped that away as well. She still looked tense, and in an attempt to bring the smile back to her face, he placed a small kiss on the same corner of her mouth, and softly whispered, “four.”
Corbin whistled as he walked back to his small cabin on the other side of the main lodge from where Quinn was staying in cabin twelve. Everything was awesome. He’d had his first kiss. Well, first twenty kisses by the time he left her dazed and bemused in the cabin doorway. That’s twenty kisses if he was counting them, and he most assuredly was counting them.
They’d sat on that loveseat for another two hours, just being near each other and talking. Quinn spoke to him about her poetry books and how it was the only way she could work and not have to be around people. How she had a car, but only drove to places like doctor appointments and the grocery store, and how even then, she did the click and pick where she ordered online and just pulled up to the curb so they could load her groceries into the car. Quinn was too afraid of having another incident with her power, but she said the word “power” like it was a curse. Corbin had tried to explain to her that her magic wasn’t something that had just happened to her, that she was born with it, like a birthmark or even an appendage, but she didn’t look convinced. He knew it would take her talking to the old man for her to start to see the light. He didn’t want her to be afraid of her magic; it was part of what made her amazing, it was part of what made up their bond to begin with. Hell, it was the only reason she was still alive and also the only reason he even
had hands to touch her with. Corbin thought her magic was the shit.
Speaking of the old man, Quinn had not been too happy to hear that the green man had been the geezer she had almost ran down on the way up the mountain. She couldn’t figure out why he didn’t just stop her then and explain things, but Corbin knew that was just the way the green man was. He operated on his own time, by his own rules. He hadn’t said as much to Quinn, but Corbin thought she was pretty lucky to have even run into him at all, pun not intended.
Brown work boots kicking up dust, Corbin practically skipped back to his cabin. After all, he had a date tonight. It was getting late in the day, Quinn hadn’t had anything to eat besides a shared sandwich, and Corbin doubted she wanted to make the half hour trip down the mountain to the grocery store tonight. He was going to cook a family meal for her; if there was a skill that he took pride in (besides the one that included kissing Quinn senseless), it was his cooking. It was a real passion for him and something he put a lot of love into. He’d make dinner for everyone, Miss Benny and Rose too, and he would even ask old stink face William if he wanted to join them. He was pretty sure William took care of all the work that needed to be done today, even after Corbin had promised to help too. He felt a little shitty about it, but then remembered what it felt like to kiss Quinn after ten years of yearning for her, and he was whistling and kicking up dirt again.
Northwoods Magic (Northwoods Fairy Tales Book 1) Page 8