He ran a hand through his hair. “I guess that’s as good a place as any to start.”
He tightened his arms around Sadie. “Marlow started on his rampage about a month ago, but I didn’t want to worry you, even though I knew it would be my head on the chopping block soon enough. He thought the company was spending too much money on our developers, that our roles could be outsourced. Three weeks ago—when it finally happened—well, we’d just found out about the baby. I couldn’t bear to tell you.”
“Kind of like I couldn’t bear to tell you about the pie shop.”
“I’m sorry. I am so sorry about that. Not telling you was totally wrong. I convinced myself it was so I could spare you the stress. But Sadie, you are my life partner. I want—no, I need—we both need to stop keeping secrets.”
“Completely agree,” confirmed Sadie. “Even if things get shitty, we need to tell each other. Neither one of us is going to break.”
“Especially you, my strong beautiful wife. You amaze me every day, but the fact that you kept everyone safe during the storm…I mean, God. You even prepared the cottage, saved our home…I really let you down. My cellphone plan was tied into the company and I had no idea none of my texts were going through. I thought you were busy, or mad, or honestly, I just wasn’t thinking. And of course, I didn’t get any of yours. I totally suck, I’m sorry.”
“You do kind of suck,” Sadie agreed, “I was insanely worried.”
He groaned.
“I forgive you just this once but don’t ever do that again,” she said lightly, but meaning it. “But what have you been doing in Boston these past few weeks?” She snuggled closer to his side. “Was it all an elaborate cover-up?”
“No, far from it,” he said. “I’ve actually been laying the groundwork for my own business these past few months. And since I got let go, I’ve been meeting with various business partners in Boston.”
She bolted upright. “Oh. Oh, wow.”
“It’s also why I’m always on my phone when I’m at home,” he said. “And why I’ve been so secretive about it. I was so afraid the investors weren’t going to follow through…that something would get messed up in the process. There were so many moving parts. I didn’t want to get your hopes up in case it didn’t pan out.”
“So tell me about this new business of yours, honey.” She gently squeezed his hands, intertwining their fingers. “No more reporting to that rotten Marlow, huh?”
Ethan told her all about his new software development company, how he’d already secured funding, two employees, and a handful of clients.
“What about an office space? Have you scoped out a good spot in Boston yet? Oh, you should choose someplace right by your old company so Marlow has to witness your tremendous success!”
“That’s the best part of all,” he said, his voice catching in his excitement. “Everyone is set up to work remotely. I’m going to be here in Maine, Sadie. No more trips to Boston.”
She couldn’t help it—she burst into tears of relief. Her husband was safe, their marriage was safe, his career was safe. Even if she was still just a tiny bit mad. She could let it go and move on to better things.
“Sadie?” Ethan rubbed her back as she cried into his shoulder. “I think you should move forward with Hester’s. I want you to. You deserve your own new adventure.”
She stopped crying. “You really think that?”
“I do,” he said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t supportive from the moment you told me. I’m embarrassed by how I reacted. I was just so set on this idea that my kids’ childhoods had to mirror my own. And, maybe I was a little insecure about not being able to provide for them the way my dad provided for us.”
“I love your mom, honey, I do,” she said. “But I’m not a carbon copy of her.”
“That would be pretty twisted, wouldn’t it? Very Freudian.” Sadie laughed as Ethan made a grimace. “I think you and Renee make an incredible team, and I know Hester’s is going to be wickedly successful. Plus? I’ll be right here in Maine, so I can help shoulder the load at home. No more fifty-fifty. We’re doing things hundred-hundred from now on.”
“Thank you,” she said, hugging him all over again. “You have no idea how much this all means to me.”
“I think Lincoln is going to love preschool, and I can’t wait to see my incredible wife shine.” He smiled, tucking a strand a hair behind her ear. “I love you, Sadie. And I’m damn lucky you’re mine.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
On the flat-screen, Russell strode into the shot, Tansy on his broad shoulders, with that old cocky smile.
“How old are you today, baby?”
Why was it always so disconcerting to hear the sound of your own voice? Renee cringed. Did she really sound like that, all high-pitched and perky?
“Tansy, sweetie, wave to the camera!”
“I’m five!” she declared happily, holding up the appropriate number of fingers and then waving toward her mother. “And Daddy’s teaching me how to ride without training wheels! ’Cause now I’m old enough.”
With the camera still rolling, Renee followed her husband and daughter out the front door and into the driveway, where a brand-new bike was waiting in place of Tansy’s trike. There were pink streamers fanning from its handlebars and a matching glittery seat. Renee had tied a giant, white bow to the front of the bike and lime-green balloons to its spokes.
“Is this mine?” Tansy asked, her eyes wide. “Is this my new bike?”
The camera moved up and down as she nodded. “It sure is, sweetie. What do you think?”
Russell gently lowered Tansy to the ground, and she sprinted for the new toy. He helped her remove the decorations, handing them to Renee’s phantom hand.
As Renee continued to film, her ex fastened Tansy’s new helmet beneath her chin—it was as pink as her new bike but complete with a Disney princess design—and balanced her over her new set of wheels.
“Don’t let go, Daddy! Not yet,” she pleaded.
“We’ll go slow. I promise,” he said. “I’ll start off holding on and then slowly let you go. Okay?”
“Ohhh-kay.”
Tansy teetered over a handful of times, catching herself before meeting the cement, and then bam. She went down hard, scraping her knees and even her tiny button nose. As the little girl began to sob, the camera clattered to the ground, landing in the much more forgiving grass.
“If you weren’t so busy filming, you could have caught her,” Russell barked off camera, his tone bitter and accusatory. “Jesus Christ. Why weren’t you spotting her?”
“I wanted to capture the big moment! I didn’t realize she’d get hurt!” Renee frowned, hearing the sob in her long-ago voice. “It was an accident! Plus, you were the one running right along with her. You should have caught her!”
“Well, great job there, Spielberg.”
Even now, over a decade later, her ears burned in humiliation. All she’d managed to capture on camera was a horrible parenting moment and one of her and Russell’s final fights.
Shamefaced, she fast-forwarded to the next scene: Tansy and Renee both running through the Crazy Daisy sprinkler in the backyard. Tansy was wearing a pink-and-white striped suit, and Renee had on her favorite pink bikini. Russell must have filmed this one, and— Shit. This must have been mere days before he left them. What was he thinking as he recorded this scene? Did the sight of his adorable daughter and beautiful wife running through the yard make him second-guess his decision at all, at least the tiniest bit? Or was he thinking about his girlfriend and counting down the seconds until they could be together?
“Missing Tansy?”
Renee startled, dropping her spoon into the nearly empty bowl of ice cream she’d been enjoying. Taking a deep breath, she set it on the coffee table. “Jeez, Bree. You scared me.”
Bree continued down the staircase and settled into the sofa beside Renee. Her biopsy was scheduled for eight o’clock tomorrow morning, and Renee was going with her to Portlan
d. She’d insisted Bree stay at her house the night before, too, thinking the company might help her sleep better. “I don’t want you to be alone with your thoughts,” she’d said.
“You’re the one watching old home movies in the dark. You scared me,” Bree teased. “By the way, check out that stellar bod!”
“Stop it. I was twelve years younger.” Renee paused, thinking this over. “And doing aerobics daily.”
“Well, I could never wear a bikini like that. Not at any age,” Bree said. “So, why the home movies? Isn’t Tansy home in a few days?”
Renee nodded. “She’s done with finals. She wanted to wrap up a few things at the radio station she’s volunteering at first.”
“See, she’ll be here before you know it.”
Renee picked back up her ice cream bowl, resuming her delicious late-night dessert of cookies and cream. “Oh, I know it. I was actually watching these for another reason.” She pressed the “stop” button on the remote.
Bree wasn’t one to accept vague answers. “And why is that?”
Renee hesitated. “Do you think that I made myself unlovable somehow?”
Before Bree could respond, Renee continued to spill her deepest fears. “Do you think I did something to drive Russell away? It’s okay, you can tell me. My feelings might be hurt, but it will help in the long run.”
Bree’s eyes widened as she moved closer to Renee, nuzzling into her side. “Why… I mean… How could you ever think such a thing?”
She sighed. “I’ve been watching these old videos a lot lately, trying to pinpoint what it was that made Russell leave me. You know, so I can prevent myself from doing those things all over again and losing Dan.”
“Russell left you because he was a selfish asshole,” Bree said. “If he wasn’t boning your kid’s kindergarten teacher, it would have been some other woman later.”
“That has occurred to me,” she admitted.
“You are one of the most lovable people I know.”
Renee shook her head. “You’re just saying that because you’re my sister. You’re genetically programmed to love me.”
“Even if I wasn’t, I know I would,” Bree said.
Renee ate the rest of her ice cream in silence, mulling this over. “There are so many wonderful things happening for me right now. Sadie is working on the design plan for the pie shop and we signed the lease. Tansy is almost here. I’m with a man I’m madly in love with. It just feels like maybe my bubble is destined to pop, the way it’s always managed to when I feel so happy, so content. Does that sound stupid?”
“Stupid? No.” Bree rubbed her back, just like she used to do when they were girls. “But I’m quickly realizing that life is too short to worry about what-ifs. You have to enjoy the present and appreciate the good things as they come. And sis? Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve been giving Russell Rhodes way too much power over your life for twelve freaking years now.”
“What? I have not.” Renee was adamant. “I haven’t so much as sent the man a Christmas card. The only times I’ve ever talked to him were to discuss Tansy’s care, and I hardly cried a tear over him.”
“You’ve let him control your life in other ways. You’re doing it right now, all over again,” said Bree. “You just said it yourself—you’re watching these home movies to try and see how you were a bad wife. And you simply weren’t. You were an awesome partner, a wonderful wife. And as for your life being happy and content before Russell up and left you—do you honestly believe that was true?”
Renee thought of the weeks, the months, really, before Russell left. She remembered the quiet nights after Tansy had gone to bed, when her husband would veg with sports while she read a book or baked. She thought of the awkward twenty minutes they spent at the dinner table each evening, Tansy their sole source of conversation, and the strained arguments about Russell’s desire to leave Cranberry Cove. Most of all, she thought of her mother’s heartbreaking reaction to their engagement: “Are you sure about this?”
No, her marriage to Russell had been challenging from the start. But she would never regret it because of the beautiful, messy, perfect miracle of Tansy.
“Russell leaving was a blessing,” Bree said quietly. “I know it certainly didn’t feel like it at the time, but my God, Renee. It showed you how strong you are. You never give yourself enough credit for that. And now that your pie shop is coming together and Dan has entered your life, I think it’s the universe’s way of rewarding you. You deserve this. You deserve all of this.”
Renee hugged her tight. “Thank you,” she said. “I needed to hear that.”
They found a Mary Tyler Moore rerun on TV, and both sisters settled deeper into the couch. They tried to ignore the elephant in the room, that big fat ugly elephant.
“Are you scared for the biopsy?” Renee finally asked.
“Terrified.” Bree kept her eyes on the TV, avoiding Renee’s stare at all costs.
“But we could find out it’s all okay.”
Bree swallowed. “We could also find out it’s not.”
“I know.”
“Yeah.”
They pretended to watch TV for an hour longer, though both were preoccupied with the impending future.
“What’s your happiest memory?” Bree asked Renee, taking her sister’s hand.
“Tansy’s birth,” Renee answered automatically. But inside she was thinking about the night of the hurricane. It was blossoming in her chest as a treasure, a shining gem to hold on to forever. “What about you, sis?”
“Being your sister has been pretty amazing,” Bree said and Renee felt tears spring to her eyes.
“You’re going to be okay. I just know it,” she declared fiercely. “I need to make many happy memories with you for years to come.”
“I guess we should go to bed,” Bree reluctantly suggested.
“I have melatonin tablets in the medicine cabinet.” Renee nodded her head toward the bathroom.
“Those never work for me.”
“They don’t work for me either.” She sighed.
Bree began to gently shut the guest room door behind her. “Goodnight. See you in the morning.”
“Stay in my room tonight,” she told her sister. “I doubt either of us is going to fall asleep anytime soon. I’d rather lay there in silence with you than be alone.”
“Yeah, this sort of distraction is terrible for my knitting,” Bree said, smiling. “You should see the hideous sweater I’ve been working on. If Tansy starts wigging out again, it’s going in her Christmas stocking.”
After brushing their teeth and washing their faces—just as they had done as girls—they climbed into Renee’s bed. She pulled a sheet and the comforter up to her chin, while Bree was content with a knitted blanket.
“You still don’t use comforters like the rest of us?”
“Never have, never will,” Bree quipped.
They closed their eyes and tried to sleep.
“I’ve been thinking about what I want to do with my life, if I only have a few months left or so,” Bree whispered.
Renee felt her mouth go dry. She swallowed and blinked. “You’re going to be fine. Stop talking like that.”
“Don’t. You know very well neither of us has any idea what’s going to happen.”
“I’m not letting you go anywhere. Not when there’s underwater basket weaving to tackle. And poodle training. Or you could attempt to sail the world!”
Bree let out a sad giggle.
“Or mushroom hunting, or learning the art of southern barbecue.”
“Maybe I’ll learn Klingon and become a YouTube sensation.”
The two sisters laughed and it felt really good.
“Do you know what scares me the most?” Bree confessed when they caught their breath. “I haven’t met the love of my life yet, and that isn’t something you get to plan. I may very well die and never meet the one.”
“Oh, Bree,” Renee sighed. “I hope that for you more than any
thing.”
The two sisters grasped hands and finally, finally fell asleep.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
This morning, Sadie had chosen to take her work outside, spreading her various design books and sketchpads across the deck, so she could enjoy a healthy dose of vitamin D as she brainstormed. Things were moving fast. Their business cards with Grandma Hester’s own pie logo from her diary were set to be delivered from the printer. In the past weeks, she had convinced Renee to donate some of her more striking antique finds to decorate Hester’s and had scored adorable vintage tables and chairs from an estate sale that were being refinished by a local woodworker. And once Dot Turner caught wind of the action, she’d offered up a few candid pictures she’d snapped of Grandma Hester selling pies at the town fair in the early eighties. Sadie was having them touched up and enlarged to adorn the walls alongside some of Grandma Hester’s own cooking utensils and pans.
Yes, the plans were well in motion and recently she had started thinking seriously about some ideas for the additional shop space in the Old Red Mill.
The old building had gone head-to-head with a hurricane, and had proved its grit unlike some of those poor storefronts downtown. The mill had come through with a few shattered windows, a dozen missing shingles, and a twisted weather vane, easy fixes in the grand scheme of things. Plans for the riverwalk were definitely the word on the street these days as the town tried to focus on the brighter days to come, words like “revitalization” and “economic development” were getting bandied about in the paper.
The Old Red Mill was opening at the perfect time and Sadie needed to talk to Essie about the idea that had been taking root: relocating some of the displaced businesses like the Castaway Yarn Shop and Chickadee Studios to the mill.
“Hey there.” Annette stepped through the sliding doors. With her bright eyes, yellow chinos, and navy striped top, she looked like a Talbots model. “Do you have a second to chat? Lincoln is upstairs with Ethan. They’re playing Candy Land.”
“Uh-huh. Sure.” She stood up. “Oooof. Hang on, I get a little dizzy here and there. Happened with Lincoln too.”
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