Taking Care of Business

by Lauren Dane

  'Brandon,' she tried again, stifling the stupid laughter that had nothing to do with humour. 'Look at me.'

  He stopped, his pants still in one hand. He turned. He looked more than pissed off, he looked furious.

  'You're laughing. At me.'

  The last bits of laughter died in her throat. 'No, I'm -'

  Again he held up a hand and turned, disgust clear in every line of his face. He pulled on his pants, his feet still bare, and stuffed his socks in his pocket as he stepped into his shoes. He sat on the chair to tie them, and that he'd make the effort to do that when he wouldn't take the time to put on his socks gave her such an insight into his character she wanted to cry again.

  Leah shivered, though the room was warm, and wrapped her arms around herself. The slippery silk robe rode higher on her thighs when she did that and she untucked a hand to pull it down. She hadn't minded being naked with him before, but this was different.

  'I'm not laughing at you,' she whispered.

  He stood, ignoring her, looking for his shirt. When he found it, he thrust his arms into it and misbuttoned, let out a low curse and rebuttoned while she watched in silence.

  His tie went in his other pocket.

  'Look at me,' Leah said. 'Please.'

  He did, finally, his brow furrowed and mouth set into a hard unfriendly line. His hair had fallen over his forehead in a dark curl she wanted to brush away. He flinched from her when she tried, as though he thought she were going to slap him instead.

  Leah tucked her hands under her arms again, willing her teeth not to chatter. This wasn't going how she'd planned. 'Brandon, please.'

  He shook his head, hard. It was killing her that he wouldn't speak. He shoved his shirt into his pants.

  He was going to leave.

  It might be easier that way, but it wouldn't be better. She sighed and rubbed her arms through the silk. She kept her distance, the fact they'd fucked so raucously seeming much further away than she wanted it to.

  'I'm sorry,' Leah said.

  He paused, just barely, before finishing with the shirt. She thought he'd head for the door, but he didn't. He ran a hand through his hair. He put his hands on his hips. He looked up at the ceiling and blew out a gust of air from his pursed lips.

  And finally, he looked at her.

  'Why were you crying?'

  His question took her off guard. She didn't answer right away, just backed up a step. She didn't have an answer, actually. Not one she could articulate, just like that.

  'I wasn't -'

  He shook his head again, and this time Brandon was the one who laughed. 'No. See? I'm not an idiot, Leah. Maybe you think I am. But I'm not.'

  'I know you're not an idiot!' His look said he was weighing her and finding her lacking. 'Why were you crying?'

  Because for the first time as long as I can remember, I felt like someone fitted me.

  Because when you gave me that belt, you gave me what I'd been looking for.

  Because this all turned out to be too much, too soon, and none of it at the right time.

  'I wasn't crying,' she said and looked straight into his eyes.

  He might not be a good liar, but she was.

  For a split second those broad shoulders slouched, but so fast she wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been trying to imprint everything about him in her brain. Once he walked out that door, it would be the last time she'd ever see him like this again, she was sure of that. He wouldn't want to come back, and she would be unable to let him.

  She wasn't ready for any of this. It didn't matter how good the sex had been, or how sweet his mouth and hands, or how hard he'd made her come. It didn't matter that he'd been willing to give her his trust, or that he hadn't judged her for admitting what she wanted. None of that made a difference in the end, when the truth was she'd just broken off a long-term relationship with someone and there was no way in hell she was going to get tangled up in something else right away. Not even if it meant missing out on something that felt so right she couldn't believe she'd ever settled for anything else and thought herself even close to satisfied.

  'I'm going to ask you one more time,' he said quietly. 'Why were you crying? Was it something I did?'

  'No,' she told him, and knew there was no hiding the lie all over her face. 'It wasn't anything you did.'

  It was everything he'd done.

  He really couldn't hide anything. Every emotion flickered in his eyes as he stared at her. Hurt. Anger. She wanted to deny the glimpse of shame there too, but couldn't.

  Without a word, Brandon bent and picked up his belt from where Mike had dropped it. He didn't put it in his pocket, and he didn't slide it through the loops and buckle it. He didn't even curl the leather into his palm and carry it out with him when he left.

  Instead, he pressed it into her hand and walked out of the door without another look back .

  30

  The cab carrying Kate to Dix's suburban home drew down a side street as Kate finished leaving a voicemail for Leah. Apparently, Band Boy was making everything all right, in a sweaty naked sort of way.

  She hadn't been at the afternoon sessions and when Kate had cruised by Leah's door the noises on the other side kept her feet moving through the lush carpeting in the hall, heading to the stairwell and downstairs.

  Nervousness fluttered in her stomach, little leaves skittering across the sidewalk on a windy day, as they pulled into a driveway. Absently, she handed the driver some money and dragged herself from the backseat and headed up the walk to the front door.

  The house wasn't what she'd expected. It was, for wont of a better word, homey. Comfortable. A glider swing occupied the front porch, the yard was manicured but clearly people lived here. The neighbourhood was upper middle class but filled with families. Bicycles leaned against the garage of the house across the street and she caught the tops of large play sets over back fences.

  She'd expected a pristine palace of white and chrome and she got, well, the 'burbs. Her nervousness battled the smile she fought as she knocked on his door.

  He opened some moments later looking relaxed and ridiculously sexy. Not like the man she'd seen so far. This man was in his element, totally at home. He wasn't supposed to have complicated layers.

  'Right on time. Come in.' Stepping back, he waved her inside and she found herself standing in a hallway with coat pegs on the walls and pictures of the last fifteen years of his life as a father.

  Pure joy on his face, picture after picture showed him on vacations, at the seaside, at baseball games, cooking out, doing all that suburban-dad stuff dads did. What the hell could she do with that? This side of him was disarming and yet slightly repellent, because she didn't think she could compete with it, wasn't sure she even wanted to or whether it was right to. Fuck. She'd never been in a place where she simply had no idea what to do before.

  He stood behind her, his body pressing to her back. He smelled good, felt even better. 'That's Adrienne, the taller one. She just finished her school year and she'll be a sophomore in high school this fall. The other one is Kendall, she's a year older so she'll be a junior.' The pride and love in his voice were unmistakable.

  'They're beautiful.' It'd been an automatic response but it was true nonetheless. They had his eyes, wide and green, and the tilts of their mouths indicated they had the bullshit streak their dad did.

  She kept on into the heart of the house, her attention snagged by the part of her lover she'd only had the faintest of glimpses of. He'd spoken of his daughters before on many occasions but seeing him be a father was different. More real.

  'You're so quiet. It's making me nervous. Tell me what you're thinking.'

  Turning to him, she drew a big breath. 'It's, um, strange to see this part of your life. I'm just taking it all in. They're gorgeous girls, you're clearly an involved dad. That's a wonderful thing.' She shrugged. She certainly couldn't remember any times when her dad had come to any of her soccer games. She froze as she caught a photo of the whole
family.

  'Ah, yeah. That's Eve, their mom. Kendall got an academic award, her grandparents –Eve's parents –took that photo.'

  He moved her away from the wall and into the kitchen.

  She'd known Eve was blonde and small, but shit. The ex was tiny. Fragile looking. Perfectly coiffed and artificially blonde. Kate didn't care about that so much, oh, so she did, fine. But it was the fact he had a picture of a woman he'd been divorced from for seven years on his wall. Kate understood his kids, they were his first priority, but she didn't plan to share a man like that.

  'You're bothered.' It wasn't a question.

  He handed her a glass of wine and she sat at his dining-room table and looked out over his large backyard. The pool beckoned, surrounded by lounge chairs.

  'Not by pictures of your kids.'

  'It occurs to me we have a lot to talk about. So settle in there, Kate. Let me get the food on the table.'

  He took his luscious, faded-denim-covered ass and sauntered from the table. Bare-footed, he padded into the kitchen and she watched, sipping the wine as he brought food back to her. His hair was freshly washed and without the usual product to keep it in place. A lock of it fell across his forehead. His T-shirt was thin and hugged against his body nicely. Just the barest sliver of tanned, taut belly showed when he leaned to put the salad near her.

  This part wasn't hard to get used to. Having a handsome, successful man bring her dinner certainly wasn't a punishment. All the other stuff though began to crop up at the edges of her fantasy. Damn that reality.

  'I'd planned to eat out back but it's still too hot. Maybe later we can go for a swim.' He sat and nodded in her direction. 'Dig in.'

  'I didn't bring my suit and your neighbours wouldn't appreciate skinny-dipping I'm sure.' She dished up some salad and forked some prawns and chicken on to her plate.

  'Speak for yourself. I think I'd receive several thank-you cards from my neighbours if they caught sight of you naked and wet. Lots of divorced dads and teenaged boys around here.' He grinned and tucked in.

  A nearly comfortable silence hung between them for a few minutes as they ate.

  'So did you get everything handled regarding Carlina?'

  'Yes. After taking a peek into her hard drive, we found all sorts of things. She's been planning this departure for at least five months. We even know where she's gone to work.

  I had a long talk with their HR person today about what the confidentiality clause means. I don't think they're very happy about it, but that's not my problem. Leah and I will work to get the rest of the forms signed and dealt with next week.'

  'Good. The sessions went well this afternoon. Roger and Bob are douchebags but your team, other than those two, are strong.'

  'OK, enough work. Let's talk about us.'

  'Let's do the dishes first.'

  He snorted but didn't argue as she helped him put away the leftovers and clean up the dirty dishes.

  'Now, into the living room with you. You've stalled quite enough.' He gave her a gentle shove towards the living room and she grabbed her wine.

  Once they'd settled in, he turned to her on the comfortable, overstuffed couch and gave her an assessing look. 'Let's just be blunt, all right? I said I was done playing games and I'm going to have to trust you are too. I want you. I want us to be together. I enjoy your company. I respect and admire you and I want to fuck you all the time we can manage it.'

  Part of her thrilled to hear it. The rest of her, though, was another story. 'I have concerns.'

  'And they are?'

  'They're legion. But the big one is professional. We work together, Dix. Your dumb secretary already tried to fuck me over. I work hard to keep walls between my private life and work. She called my boss. That's a problem.'

  'I'm sorry about that. But come on, Kate. That's a one-time thing. She's nuts and that had nothing to do with work, that was her being vindictive and crazy.'

  She frowned a moment. 'Bullshit it had nothing to do with work! I let you get me off in a parking garage. She caught me with my hand down your underwear. If we'd kept it private it wouldn't have been an issue at all.'

  'She didn't see anything. She got the jist of what happened but she didn't see anything. I was blocking her view. But OK, we already decided to keep our frolics in private from now on. The whole thing wasn't about you, it was about Carlina and her obsession. We'll handle it from now on. Next?' He waved her concerns away like smoke.

  'I worry people will believe I got the job with Allied because of my relationship with you.'

  He laughed. 'Kate, you got the job because your best friend is the HR director.'

  'That, Charles, is networking. You know as well as I do that that sort of connection is acceptable. No one will think less of me for that. But if they think I got it because we're having sex, suddenly I'm undermined.'

  'We don't work with each other. Not for the same employer and after you leave tomorrow you'll pretty much be done with Allied unless we have further need for your specialised services. In which case, we still won't be working for the same employer. I know it's harder for women in this field. I have daughters, I'm sensitive to how it is. But you're making up reasons to keep me away.'

  'Hey, oh look! Condescending asshole is back! How very nice of you to understand how it is. I'll put a gold star on your picture.'

  Dix narrowed his eyes at her. 'So why don't you share with me then? Tell me what the fuck crawled up your ass to make you such a paranoid bitch?'

  As he'd suspected, the dig goaded her enough to finally tell him what the hell happened.

  'Back when I was an undergrad, here at Penn State by the way, I interned with an elected official. It doesn't matter which one.'

  She waved away the question before he could ask. 'His aide and I had a thing. A mutual thing. He wasn't married, I wasn't married. He was only ten years older. We were discovered in a compromising situation after an event. Not having sex but enough to make it clear we were intimate. I was frozen out. They couldn't fire me, not when they weren't sure if I'd file some sort of sexual harassment charges. Which I'd never do, for God's sake, I told them it was consensual and never on-site. But that didn't matter. It was an election year and, while he was a stud for fucking the hot young intern, I was just the hot young intern. And apparently a liability because of my vagina.

  'Soon enough the story got back to my faculty advisor.

  The funds for my position for the fall suddenly dried up. They didn't need me at the office any more.' She took several gulps of her wine and he retrieved the bottle and topped it up for her. She nodded her thanks. 'Anyway, now the aide in question works in Washington, making half a million a year last I heard. Meanwhile, I was advised, quite off the record you know, that it might be wise if I took the spot I'd been offered at the UW law school. My references had dried up but when they heard about UW they all couldn't wait to tell them how great I was.'

  'Christ, Kate. That's a bundle of fucked up.'

  'Yes, yes it was. And so my parents, who by the way are still friends with the elected official in question, were spoken to. Disappointed, they came to me and urged me to get out of town. To start over and to keep my legs closed.'

  Well, he could see how that would make her extremely wary about relationships with co-workers but the situation was not the same.

  'I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to condescend. But you have to see there are no corollaries between what you and I have and what happened to you before. We're equals working for two different employers living in two different cities. We won't see each other in a professional capacity after tomorrow very often, if at all again. I'm just another lawyer living in Harrisburg. If it makes you more comfortable we can just say we didn't start dating until after tomorrow.'

  'I don't know what to think. Or feel. Or want.'

  'Bullshit, Kate. You know what to want. You want what you want.' He shrugged. 'That's not the complicated part. Wanting is easy.'

  'What is it you want?' She threw her
hands up.

  'You. You and me. Is that so awful? Do you not want that too? Tell me honestly.' Shit, he hadn't even imagined she wouldn't want a relationship too. He knew she did.

  She looked at him, not speaking, for some time and finally nodded. 'I do. I do but, Dix, I gotta tell you, there are big things between us.'

  'Well, we just said we could deal with the work issues, right?'

  She sighed. 'If we take it really slow and very carefully. I think we can. I'm uncomfortable with it, but not so much I don't want to try.'