“What the hell.” It was Kaye, snuggling into one of the men’s laps.
A noise below her made her lean forward and look over the railing. Zip stood by the gate on the next floor down, staring at the boat. Clary sunk into her chair and gripped her bottle. Robin would fit right into this crowd. They were so damned careless, but apparently, Sharon had been just like them. How much of this had her family known? Hopefully none of it.
What if these women had to deal with Leefe’s and Devi’s problems, or what about Andy, struggling with Velma in a no-win situation? Those were real problems.
She left, lightheaded with disgust. Automatically, she checked the sky. It looked like rain. Perfect, she thought. It fits my mood. Anger cleared her mind for every block she drove. She’d clean up and find Leefe.
Chapter Twenty-seven
The scent of the evening meal hung in the kitchen as Leefe put the last pan away. It was great to have only the kids again, but she couldn’t shake the jolt of Mrs. Ellis this morning. Still queasy, she gave a cupboard door a kick and slammed it shut. Why hadn’t Clary returned her messages? She needed to talk to her. She rinsed the dishrag and wiped the counter.
“Crabby?”Albie softened her words with a smile.
“Yeah, and Devi too. We’re a pair.”
“I think it’s going to rain. I’m going to bring the kids inside. We’re down to six, and Devi’s the only one overnight. Andy took Jacob home. That’s cool, for both of them.”
“That smile on Jacob’s face was great,” Leefe said and looked out of the window. “I didn’t know it was supposed to rain. It was clear when I walked home from the lawyer’s.”
“How did the meeting with the lawyer go?”Albie paused at the door.
“I liked her. Her name is Rebecca Bishop. She works with Howard and Beverly and I think I’ll do it, the temporary guardianship.” She turned, gauging Albie’s reaction.
Albie’s face brightened. “That’s good. Do you realize how much Devi resembles you, except for your crazy eyes?”
Leefe finally smiled.
“Hey, look at you. A smile.”
“So I’m cranky.” Leefe tossed the dish towel in the dirty clothes bin. “I bought Devi some books after I saw the lawyer today, but don’t tell her that it was a birthday thing. Thanks for staying. Once this guardianship is official, I’ll start taking Devi home with me at night.”
“What are you up to?” Albie lifted an eyebrow. “Seeing your friend? Bet she thinks you’ve dropped off the earth.”
“Laundry. I’m down to one pair of underwear.” Leefe pushed away from the counter. “Have a good night, but call if anything comes up.”
“Better hurry if you’re going to beat the rain.” Albie walked to the front door with her and checked the sky again. “Oh wait, when I stopped at the Food Plant for bread, Howard flagged me down in the parking lot. He’ll have some news for you soon about that woman this morning. Was that really your adoptive mother?”
“Yes, and someone I never wanted to see again,” Leefe said, opening the door to leave. “I told Devi good-bye earlier so, see you tomorrow. Get some rest.”
Leefe walked east toward the lake. When she’d told Devi that she’d be gone tonight, Devi had sulked the rest of the day. For once, everywhere Leefe was, Devi wasn’t. She’d played hard but stayed serious. Too serious. Sometimes she felt as if she was living her life over with Devi, but she’d never thought of the possibility of being a mother, even temporarily. If all that counted was love, she’d make it.
The sky was darkening. Seeing no yellow car in Maureen’s driveway, she took the shortcut, crossing the beach in front of Mojo’s. About eight kids sat on the benches. She knew them all, and detoured to the food stand.
“Hey, kids, are you hungry?” she said, pointing at the counter.
All of them spoke to her, and some even gave her a hug. She dug money out of her pocket and handed it to Penn. “Order what you want,” she said, “and then get to the bridge to eat. Look at the sky.” She pointed up at the dark clouds. They grabbed the bags and drinks, running for the foot bridge over the creek that emptied into the lake, a place she’d used a lot when she was their age. Watching them, she wondered if they were in Piper’s classes. Now that Clary wasn’t returning her calls, she’d probably never know.
The air smelled like rain, reminding her of the horrible Ellis house, and she allowed herself a sweet moment of revenge. No way would she pass up the opportunity to see that woman punished in some way. As she’d suspected, Mrs. Ellis had a gun in her purse and no permit. According to the lawyer today, they could use that to hold Mrs. Ellis for a few days. Too bad they couldn’t charge her for being a mean and uncaring person. The lawyer had given her another idea. They might get some information about her real family from Mrs. Ellis, but she’d probably have to trade retaliation for information.
The wind picked up. She looked over her shoulder one more time and then came to a dead stop. A light was on in Maureen’s house, and Clary’s car was in the driveway. She changed direction, but the first drops of rain fell, and she turned back to her house. A loud clap of thunder rolled over her as she opened the door.
By the time she finished the laundry, the thunderstorm had worn itself out. She showered, made coffee, and sank into her desk chair, staring at her silent phone. She shuffled through the fishing pictures. Clary looked so happy and free. She’d said “love” on the phone the night of Jesse’s accident, and then just disappeared.
The storm headed east, and lightning over the water caught her eye. Her hammock reflected in the windows, swaying a bit in the light breeze. The Clary that had been in that hammock with her was the passionate, tender woman with honest green eyes, someone she trusted and really missed. Absently, she rubbed her chest, trying to ease her sore heart.
The last time they’d seen each other at Mojo’s, Clary had given her the smile she loved so much and—no, it was at the day care when she’d gotten out of the car. Clary had said something, and looked…lost or confused? Something had happened, and she’d missed it. Try as she might, Leefe could not remember what they’d said, except the story about Devi and the potatoes.
Leefe leaned forward and picked up a piece of paper on the desk. It was the list Clary had given her at the day care, and her third word, “synchronicity.” She copied it under “hardwired” and “alchemy” in her notebook and read the list again.
One thing was certain. Clary had to leave for Iowa. Is that what she’d said at the day care? Maybe that’s what all the silence was about.
*
Clary straightened the office while the storm swept through. She planned a thorough cleaning before the family came home. After taking a shower and getting dressed, she held the graduation photo from the dresser. She couldn’t understand what Sharon had done, or why. She’d never know, nor would she discuss it with the family. Thunder rolled over the lake as she checked Leefe’s house for lights, and saw a police car driving down the road toward the house. Clary grabbed her Packers sweatshirt and turned out the light.
When she parked at Leefe’s, she could see Howie and a uniformed officer in the kitchen. She knocked on the screen door and called out. Leefe peeked around Howie with a surprised expression on her face.
“What’s going on?” Clary said.
“We’re giving her the information on Mrs. Ellis,” Howie said.
Clary turned to Leefe. “The family that adopted you?”
Leefe made a mean little sound. “She came through the food line at the day care this morning. I remembered she usually carried a gun in her purse, and now she’s in jail. It’s only a misdemeanor, but a great excuse to hold her, irritate her.”
“That woman’s a piece of work. She even tried to spit on me,” Howie said, shaking his head. The two men moved toward the door, and Leefe walked them outside.
The faint scent of lavender mingled with the cooling air as Clary turned in the kitchen, happy to be here again. There was music somewhere, and Clary walk
ed toward Leefe’s bedroom. The list she’d given Leefe that night at day care was on the desk, and she picked it up, reading it again. The car’s headlights outside faded, but Leefe didn’t return. Clary moved to the rain-streaked, round windows, searching the beach in the thin light. There she was, on the jetty, head down and arms crossed. She went for the door.
“Leefe?”
“Where have you been?” Leefe turned and wiped her eyes.
Clary stopped, hearing the anger.
“I thought you were different from those people.” Leefe waved her hand at the houses beyond the beach.
“What?” Clary said.
“All the messages I left, but you couldn’t find time to call me?”
“Let me explain—”
“It’s a little late.” Leefe pushed by, head down, and the breeze blew a fine mist over them.
Clary followed, heart falling. Leefe let the screen door slam in her face, but Clary grabbed it and stepped inside, determined to tell her why she hadn’t called.
Rain sparkled in Leefe’s hair as she poured a cup of coffee, ignoring Clary.
“Could I have some too?” Clary gestured at the cups on the counter.
“Go ahead.” Leefe had that blank expression that Clary had seen so often and she thought of Beverly’s words about Leefe as a child. “It was like holding a shadow. You could feel her against your fingers…”
Clary poured coffee and sat carefully. Leefe still wouldn’t look at her. In fact, she wasn’t even sure she was aware she was in the room. “You have every right to be angry, and I will explain, but first, tell me about Mrs. Ellis.”
“That poor excuse for a human being has been living in Milwaukee. I’m still sick to my stomach. I never wanted to see her again.” Her words hurtled through the air at Clary.
“I’m sorry.” Clary swallowed a lump in her throat.
“I’m no different from the kids at day care.” Leefe stared into space. “But I’m better than I thought I was. Yeah, I am,” she said softly.
“Do you have to see her again?”
“Have to? I want to. I’m thrilled to see her in jail. I signed the papers for Devi this afternoon, and the lawyer suggested I use Mrs. Ellis to find information about my real parents, a sort of trade.” Finally, Leefe met her gaze, and for a moment, they stared at each other across the table. “What do you think?”
“God, Leefe, what an opportunity.”
Leefe only continued to stare, her unusual eyes hard. “Why didn’t you call?”
“I’m sorry, really I am. When Robin took Hannah, she took everything she could, but left me with something I hate. Anxiety attacks. I haven’t had one since early spring, and I had one the other night that caught me completely off guard.” Clary held her gaze. “You were so busy that I—”
“We’re too busy for each other?” Leefe interrupted.
“No.” Clary took a deep breath. “My mistake.”
“Yes. It was.” Leefe gave her a curious look. “I know someone who suffered from anxiety, but they were on medication. Are you?”
“I was for a long time, but I’m not any longer.”
“That woman, Robin, was a schoolteacher?”
“No. She worked at a bank that managed scholarship funds for the local school, and I was on the committee.” Clary clasped her hands, hard. “She hated my teaching because I spent so much time at it. After everything fell apart, that was one of the first things I understood. Just how much she disliked it.” She rubbed her eyes. “Her friends told me.”
“She took off with a man?”
“I was clueless, always wrapped up in school and Hannah.” Clary stared at the open door, thinking over what she’d just said. “There was always Hannah.”
“You never talk about Robin. It’s always Hannah.”
“Robin didn’t like to read. She preferred movies or computer games, but we went out with friends now and then.”
Leefe looked up. “She didn’t like books? How’d you manage that?”
“Not very well.” Clary felt a kind of nervous whirring inside. That was it. After all the doctors and soul searching, Leefe had just brought her to the answer. “I came home to South Port for Maureen, and to somehow find myself. I didn’t count on you.” Was it really that simple?
“You should. I’m very dependable.” Leefe didn’t smile.
The words hit Clary so hard that tears filled her eyes, but she looked down to hide them. “I know you are. Today was crazy, and I only wanted to see you—”
“Clary, you can’t not take time.” Leefe leaned forward, hands on the table. “Phone calls are a small thing, but they’re something. When I was in the day care this morning, scared and upset, there was a room full of people around me, but I had to take care of them as well as myself.” She leaned back in her chair and spoke deliberately. “I left you messages. I made time.”
Like some kind of weird moment in time, Leefe’s phone began to ring, and she left for her bedroom. Clary watched her go, heart crashing against her ribs.
“I have to go. That was Albie.” Leefe began to turn out lights.
“I’ll give you a ride,” Clary said and put her cup in the sink.
“No, go home. I’m fine.” Leefe held the door open for Clary and locked it behind her. She was gone, up over the dune onto the beach and into the darkness before Clary could even open her car door, and she stood there, feeling lost.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Clary stood in Maureen’s kitchen, wondering why it was dark, and then realized she’d left in such a hurry that she’d forgotten to turn on a light. She took a bottle of water from the refrigerator and sat at the table, numb.
“Jesus,” she murmured. In one day, she’d unlocked two mysteries. Sharon and Robin. In her wildest moment, she never would have imagined Sharon’s last months.
And Robin? She was certain the doctors had said the same thing, but Leefe had made her see the answer. Or maybe it was only that she listened differently when Leefe spoke. Leefe hadn’t used the word careless tonight, but that’s what she’d heard.
“I did it again. Another train wreck,” she whispered to the darkness. She may have been careless with Robin, misjudged her need for attention, but she wasn’t going to let that happen with Leefe.
Finally, she trudged upstairs and left her clothes in a pile on the floor. Leefe’s big sketchpad leaned against the wall in front of her, and she went through the pages again, one by one. They were remarkable. That whole night had been remarkable. Her heart ached, but she didn’t cry until she got into bed.
Later, the phone woke her out of a deep, unexpected sleep. She knocked it on the floor and scrambled to find it in the dark.
“Clary,” Leefe said. “I need your help.”
“What’s wrong?” Clary sank to the floor, her mind instantly alert.
“I’m at The Docks by the bridge, looking for Devi.”
“I’ll be right there,” Clary said, turning on the light, and automatically pulling on clothes. Devi was missing?
*
The big beer clock at The Docks said almost four o’clock. Leefe zipped her jacket and stepped over puddles from last night’s rain. A little mist formed as the heavy darkness began to lift. She sank down against the stone bridge, too tired to go any further.
Albie had fallen asleep with Devi on the couch in front of the TV, and when she’d woken, Devi was gone. It had taken Leefe a while to get Albie calmed down, and then they’d covered the area around the day care in Albie’s car. Finding nothing, they’d called the police, and then Leefe had walked north, covering the main street and the lake. Albie drove west to the Food Plant and other homeless shelters. Kids were so small, they could hide anywhere. She had.
If anything happened to Devi, she didn’t know what she would do. Clary would leave, but not Devi too.
Her head hung down, elbows braced on her knees, and she stared at her phone. Tonight at her house, she’d been angry at Clary over stupid phone messages? Right fro
m the beginning, Clary had always helped when she needed something, and still did.
Since she was little, she’d learned to appear distant, but she’s also learned to listen for all she was worth. Then, she hid in books. When she’d found her courage, she added words, and finally, mastered the blank face. Tonight, she’d used none of those on Clary. She’d simply been mean and angry. Worse, she’d seen that Clary had needed her somehow, but she’d ignored her.
She looked up and saw the yellow car driving toward her.
Leefe held out her hand, and Clary pulled her into one of those wonderful hugs. “What happened?” Clary said, concerned.
“They fell asleep on the couch, watching a movie, and when Albie woke, Devi was gone.”
“Has she done this before?”
Leefe shook her head. “This has been a rough week for her. First, her parents, then the people from Milwaukee, and she was mad when I told her I was going to leave tonight. She sulked all day, but I needed to do laundry…and find out why you’d disappeared.”
Clary hugged her again. “I am so sorry. You have no idea.”
Leefe sank into the familiar body and forgot what she was going to say. Finally, she choked out, “No, I’m sorry for what I said and did tonight.”
Clary gave her a sad smile. “We’re both sorry. You look so tired. You haven’t been to bed.” Clary scanned the street. “Let’s get some coffee at the corner, and we’ll go any place you can think of.”
They drove north, over the bridge. “Would she go down there, where the boat is docked?” Clary pointed at the river.
“No, I don’t think so. I used to sleep behind Dumpsters in the downtown alleys. No one ever found me.” The coffee helped but not as much as Clary next to her, and her heart picked up.
Hardwired Page 21