by Harper Sloan
I briefly remember opening my eyes earlier and seeing Greg in a hospital room. It’s hazy, but I remember him, Cohen, and Maddox standing right inside the doorway…and then nothing else.
In those minutes, I noticed one thing with stark clarity. I didn’t feel my babies. The pressure and dull pain I had become accustom to over the course of my pregnancy, the rolling of their bodies, the jabs and kicks—all of it was gone. I can feel my panic starting to peak, knowing that there is something gravely wrong if my babies aren’t here.
Oh, God!
In little flashes, like a projector playing slides of my last moments of consciousness, I remember.
Cohen being Cohen, making me laugh with his innocence and wonky train of thought. Looking up in the mirror to meet his smiling eyes. Driving through the green light and that terrible sound of horns and colliding metal. Screams from my boy and his sobbing voice telling me he loves me.
Then it all fades to black.
Cohen! My sweet boy! Where is my sweet boy?
Oh, God… My girls. It’s too early for them to be out. They still need time!
My ribs burn when my panic starts to escalate. I hear beeping speed up, and those words that were singing earlier stop abruptly.
Then I feel him.
His hands hold my head between them, his warm breath fanning across my face when he speaks, calming me instantly.
“Beauty, my sweet Beauty, calm yourself. Everything is going to be fine. Everything and everyone… You’re all safe, my love.” His lips press against mine for a second before he’s gone.
I try to open my eyes, but they burn. I try to speak, but my throat feels like I’ve been eating dirt and glass. I try to move my arm, but it drops worthlessly.
“Shh. Let the nurse look at you, and I’ll be right here,” I hear Greg say from far away, his voice reassuring but thick with emotion.
I slow my breathing and try to calm down my body. He said that everyone is fine. He wouldn’t have said that if something had happened to our children.
But where are they?
Movement continues around me. My body is poked and moved around. I painfully answer all of her questions and try to remain calm until I feel my husband’s hands on my skin again.
I need him.
I need his touch.
And I need his love.
It feels like an eternity, but it’s probably only ten minutes before I am given some small sips of water and moved to a more comfortable position. My vision is still blurry, but I can see him. The second I see his face, that perfectly handsome face I love so much, I feel a sob bubble out. It hurts—oh it hurts more than I could have fathomed. Not just my screaming ribs, but low on my abdomen, the muscles feel unused and pulled tight.
I see his smile, and even with the tears running silently down his face, that smile never dims. I can tell that he hasn’t slept—his eyes look tired, rimmed red, and swollen. His clothing is wrinkled and stained. He looks…terrible, and it’s the most incredible sight I’ve ever seen.
“You look like crap,” I rasp, smiling up at him as he walks over to the side of my bed.
He laughs, although it comes out more like a sob. “You don’t say?”
“Doesn’t your wife iron your clothes?” I joke weakly.
His tears stop, and the fear leaves his eyes.
“No, she likes me better naked.”
The nurse I wasn’t aware was still in the room snickers from where she’s standing while she enters data into the computer connected to the wall.
“Lucky woman, that wife of yours,” I whisper, my voice still gravelly in a painful way, but I feel my smile grow when he dips and moves his face closer to mine.
“I think I’m lucky one, my beautiful wife.” His lips close the distance again, pressing against mine and peppering loving kisses against my lips and face.
He doesn’t make a move to deepen the kiss. He just keeps raining his love across my face.
When he pulls away, he wipes my tears away with his thumbs. I try to move my hand again, but I break eye contact when I feel the solid weight surrounding it. I see the cast just seconds before I notice my very obvious empty belly.
And I’m right back to where I was minutes before.
“Oh, God! Greg… Cohen and the babies!” My panic rises again.
“Hey… Melissa, calm down. Please. You don’t need to be working yourself up so soon. They’re okay. I promise you. Cohen is with Axel and Izzy. He’ll be back as soon as visiting hours start in the morning. It got too late for him to stay, so they took him home to get some sleep. The girls, both of them… They’re okay and close by in the NICU.”
It takes a few seconds for his words to bleed into my panic-fog, but when they do, I fall back against the mattress and pillow and sob.
The tears fall rapidly. I gasp for breath, causing sharp pains to shoot from my ribs and abdomen. And through it all, Greg continues to whisper his love and reassurance.
My children are alive.
Everything is going to be okay.
I’ve got my husband with his arms around me, pouring every ounce of strength he possesses into my body while he kisses my forehead and whispers softly in my ear. My son isn’t hurt and being cared for by people we trust. And my daughters are here, safe and alive!
“I need to see them, Greg. I need to see our babies!” I have no idea if he can understand me, but he nods and promises me that as soon as the doctors allow it he will take me to our girls.
“You wouldn’t believe it, Beauty, but they look just like you. So tiny, but absolutely the most precious and beautiful babies in the world.” He pulls out his phone and holds it so that I can see picture after picture of our daughters. When he gets to one of him holding one of their tiny bodies against his naked chest, his whole hand almost swallowing her small body, I lose it again.
“Hey, they’re okay. This is Lyndsie. She’s had the harder time between the two of them, but every time I’m able to hold her skin to skin, she eats better. She hasn’t been able to suck well, and she has some reflux problems, but she’s doing great, Beauty. I held her earlier for a while just like this. Lillian, oh baby—she is a warrior. The doctors think she’ll go home before Lyndsie because she’s breathing on her own now and eating well. She’s gaining weight quickly. I bet she’s a chunk before we know it.”
I suck up each word he speaks while he flips through hundreds of pictures of our little girls. I can hear the pride in his voice when he speaks about them. I push back the jealousy I feel when he talks about holding them. I need to see my babies, to feel my babies, so I know that they’re okay.
“… so good, Beauty. You did so good.” He drops the hand holding his phone, and I look over to him, smiling when I see the happiness in his eyes. “I was so scared, Melissa. So scared that I would never get this. Every day you slept, I worried more and more. The doctors kept telling us that you would wake up when you were ready, but God…I was so scared.”
“How long was I out?” It feels like I just went to sleep hours ago, but the way he speaks, it’s been a lot longer.
“Two weeks. Two long weeks.”
“Oh my God.”
“You’re here now, and we just need to focus on getting all my girls out of this damn place and home. I need my family home.”
We spend the rest of the night and into the morning whispering softly to each other in between small bouts of my sleeping. Every time I wake up, he’s still sitting in the same chair, his crystal blue eyes just watching me sleep.
Finally, sometime when the sun is creeping into the sky, I open my eyes from another nap to see his head against my thigh and hear soft snores echoing through the room.
Chapter 16 – Melissa
“I’m so nervous.” I look over at Greg, who is standing against the wall of the elevator as it climbs the two floors that will take me to my girls. “So damn nervous,” I whisper again.
“Stop, Melissa. Once you see those two little princesses, all of those nerves
will just wash away. When you feel their soft skin against your own, look at their small faces that are little mini versions of your own…all of that will just vanish, and the love you’ll feel take its place is like nothing you have ever felt.”
I have to blink away the tears that his words cause. My nose burns with the force of my emotions.
The doors open and Greg takes his place behind my chair, pushing me onto the floor where my girls are. With every step he takes, my wheelchair moving closer and closer, I feel like I can sense my girls. Like my body knows that I’m nearing my daughters.
We stop so that he can help me wash what feels like my whole body and push my arms through the gown I have to wear. It’s hard with my cast to get everything situated, and by the time we finish, my frustration is strong. I just want to see my babies. I’m so close to my girls.
“I can see your mind working. We’ll be in there in just a minute, but we have to follow the steps to make sure they are safe, Beauty.”
I know he’s right, but that doesn’t stop the irrational mama bear that just wants her little cubs in her arms.
We finally get situated and he helps wheel me into the room. I know which incubator holds my girls before we’re even all the way into the room. I see Cohen’s bright red cape with its royal blue trim like a flag waving me home draped across one of the incubators.
“He wanted his magic in here. You should have seen him, Melissa. He had so much determination to get that in here so that he could save his sisters with his powers. That boy is something else. He’s been amazing the last two weeks. So strong.”
“That sounds just like him.” I smile but never move my eyes from the flash of red in the otherwise very dull room.
He pushes me closer until I’m eye level with the two little babies nestled close to each other inside the small incubator. I don’t even realize I am crying until I feel Greg wiping the tears from my face.
“They’re beautiful,” I whisper in awe.
“They sure are.”
I just keep looking at them, taking in every single feature on their bodies as I feel the instantaneous love take over my nerves—just like Greg said it would.
“I need to feel them, Greg. I need to hold my babies.”
He nods his head before he walks over to the nurse who is standing not that far from us and speaks softly. I can’t hear what he’s saying to her and I honestly don’t care as long as it gets my babies in my arms.
We spend a while trying to figure out how to maneuver things so that I am able to hold my daughters. With my cast, it isn’t possible to hold them both at the same time, so Greg helps the nurse place Lillian in my arms. The first time I feel her against my skin, I weep. I try to keep it together, but when that featherweight is pressed against my chest… I lose it. Greg stays close, keeping one hand against Lillian’s back and the other arm draped across my shoulders.
I hold her for about ten minutes before Greg takes over and the nurse helps move Lyndsie into my arms. Just like with Lillian, I bawl. Completely lose it. Greg pulls one of the rockers next to my wheelchair and sits next to me while he cradles Lillian against his strong chest.
“They’re so small, Greg. You swear they’re going to be okay?”
“I promise, Beauty.”
I smile.
He smiles back, leans in, and kisses me lightly.
I place a kiss on Lyndsie’s downy head, locking eyes with Greg as he does the same to Lillian.
We sit there a little while longer until the nurse comes up and asks if we would like her to take a picture for us.
And with my girls safe in our arms, my husband by my side, and a love big enough to smother you, we take the first picture with our daughters.
“I can’t wait to get one of those with Cohen.”
“You and me both.”
“Soon?”
Greg looks over at my question, that big smile from last night back on his face. “Soon,” he vows.
Epilogue – Greg – Three Months Later (Christmas)
“Daddy! Daddy! DADDY!” Cohen’s warm breath hits my ear and his whisper is loud enough to wake the dead.
I groan, knowing that there is no way Cohen’s going to sleep anytime soon. I feel like I just fell asleep seconds ago, which isn’t far from the truth.
“C-Man, what are you doing awake?”
“Got things to do, Daddy!” Jesus, he’s starting to sound more and more like Maddox daily. Ever since they bonded when the girls were in the hospital, I feel like my son is turning into a Locke clone.
“Son.”
“Daddy.”
Melissa snickers next to me, and I know she gets a kick out of our four-year-old turning into some little mini alpha boy.
“Cohen, why don’t we go to sleep for just a few more minutes?” Or hours, I silently add.
“Can’t.”
“Annnnd why can’t we do that?” I finally peek my eyes open and jump when I realize how close he is to my face. “Jesus, son, do you have to sneak up like that?”
He giggles softly. “I didn’t sneak up on you. I was just talking to you, Daddy. We have to go… Go now!”
“Okay, okay.” I throw back the covers, remembering a second too late that I’m still naked from taking Melissa just a few hours before.
“HA! Daddy has his wiener rings in! Daddy, your wiener is funny looking with Mommy’s earrings in there!” He starts dancing around the room, chanting about my goddamn wiener rings.
Melissa sits up and starts laughing uncontrollably. I look over at her and notice that the sheet has pooled around her waist about the same time Cohen does. I hold my breath…waiting for it.
“Mommy! Boobies! Mommy has boobies. Boobies. Boobies! Ha ha ha! I want Lucky Charms for breakfast! Let’s go! I’ll go get my girls!”
It’s my turn to laugh now. Melissa is blushing about ten shades of red, and I’m standing in the middle of the bedroom, naked as the day I was born, laughing at my wife.
As hectic as my life is between Cohen and all his crazy fun, two little girls who seem to do nothing but wake and eat with a little sleep sprinkled in there, and a full-time job, it’s moments like this that make me realize just how lucky we are and just how blessed we are to be here.
It hasn’t been easy. Melissa had to stay in the hospital for two weeks after she woke up. The doctors wanted to make sure that she was completely cleared before they would release her, and I was okay with that.
Lillian was able to come home with Melissa, exactly a month after she was born. She’s such a strong little girl. Taking Melissa and Lillian home was bittersweet. In one hand, it felt so good to have them home, but I think we all felt the hole from that not having Lyndsie home with us left.
It was for almost three weeks full of daily hospital visits later that we were able to take Lyndsie home. She had issues with her reflux that just kept setting us back, but finally, almost two months after she was born, we were able to bring her home and complete the Cage family.
Cohen took to his sisters instantly. He helps with everything he can. He holds the bottles while we feed them; he talks to them and sings to them. And every night he tells them everything he’s going to teach them when they get older.
I love watching them interact. Knowing that he feels the need to protect his sisters makes me smile. Those poor girls are going to love when they get older and have two shadows over them. There’s no way in hell that Cohen or I will let anything happen to our two princesses.
Melissa finally got her casts off both her arm and leg removed about a month ago. She’s had some issues with gaining her full strength back, but she keeps at her physical therapy, determined to heal.
It hasn’t been the easiest of times, but we’re together, and I’ll take a bumpy road over the alternative any day.
Melissa and I get ready in a comfortable silence, listening to Cohen chatter in the girls’ room through their baby monitors.
“Come on, my Beast. Let’s go get that crazy boy out of the nur
sery before he wakes up the girls. Good thing they can sleep through anything.”
She starts walking out of the room, only limping slightly, and my mouth waters when I see the yoga pants she’s put on hugging her perfect ass.
Ever since we got the go-ahead from the doctors, we’ve been almost insatiable. Doesn’t take a doctor to tell me that I’m channeling my fear from almost losing her into sex. Melissa isn’t complaining. If my diving into her sweet body daily gives my mind peace, she’s more than happy to help out there.
I have to give myself a few minutes to calm down before I can follow her out of the room. Just one glance at her tight body and I’m ready to lock the door and throw her back on the bed.
“Come on, Cohen. Let the girls sleep some more.” I smile when her voice comes over the monitor, before I finally walk out of our bedroom and down into the kitchen to start breakfast.
They follow not long after I started cooking, and even though Cohen starts to fuss over Lucky Charms, he eats the eggs, bacon, and pancakes quickly before asking for seconds.
“Daddy! Did you see? I looked out my window this morning and there’s a gigantic trampoween out there! Santa brought it. I knew he would! Can I have a motorcycle when I get older? Maddox Locke has one!”
Jesus, it’s hard to follow his train of thought sometimes.
“Why don’t we talk about that when you’re old enough?”
“Okay. Can I get wiener rings yet?”
Melissa sputters out a snort-like laugh. Of course she would leave the answering to me.
“Cohen, we talked about this the last time you asked for…wiener rings. Let’s wait until you’re older—way older—before we talk about that one, okay?”
“Okay. Can I have a monkey?”
“How about we stick to the trampoline before we start bringing in zoo animals?”
“Okay. Can we wake up my girls now so we can open up our presents?” He’s literally bouncing in his seat.
“How about this? The girls are so small that they aren’t going to miss anything if you start, and they can join us when they wake up. How about we go open some of your presents or at least go see what Santa brought before we go wake them up?”