Afraid to Fly

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Afraid to Fly Page 8

by L. A. Witt


  I drew him down so I could kiss his neck.

  “Let’s go,” he whispered breathlessly. “We should . . . somewhere . . .”

  “Why not here?” Gripping his blouse tighter, I nibbled his earlobe. “No one else is here.”

  “No, but . . .” He moaned softly and curved a hand over my hip. “Beds are a lot more comfortable.”

  “Hmm. Good point. And there aren’t any beds here.”

  “Exactly. So maybe we should get out of here, then. Go someplace private.” His erection rubbed against mine. “Go where I can see you.” He turned his head, and our lips brushed as he murmured “naked” just before he claimed a deep kiss.

  I shivered and held him tighter. It was so tempting to blow off work and go somewhere I could blow him. Not that we were getting anywhere with the whole “getting out of here” thing anyway. Or the “not doing this at work” thing. With fingers that weren’t as dexterous as they normally were, I opened the first two buttons of his uniform, but then forgot what I was doing and shifted all my attention to making out with him instead. “For the record, I don’t usually do shit like this at work.”

  “Usually?” He eyed me. “So it’s not the first time?”

  A memory flashed through my mind that threatened to kill the mood in a hurry, but I tamped it down and grinned. “You could say that.” I skated my lips down his neck.

  He shivered. “God, I want you.” That hungry, hoarse whisper made my whole body break out in goose bumps. “Tonight? It’s fucking on.”

  “Gonna hold you to that.”

  “Please do.” Somehow, as we kept kissing and groping each other, he made it past my button fly, and his hand on my cock took my breath away. He exhaled sharply through his nose, as if touching me turned him on as much as it did me, and the way he stroked me said this was going to be very fast and very hot. Not that I was objecting.

  “Gonna . . . make me come on my uniform.” I gasped for breath. “And yours.”

  The gleam in his eyes told me that was definitely an option right then. All we had to do was lock the door and go for it.

  And fifteen or even ten years ago, I would have gone for it, never mind the consequences. But . . . if a subordinate knocked. If someone heard.

  The same concerns seemed to cross Clint’s mind. He drew back, and the wild eagerness seemed to wane in favor of self-control. Maybe RAPs and fighter pilots had more in common than we’d realized. “Maybe not now,” I said.

  “Yeah.” He glanced back at the door. “Probably . . . not a good idea.”

  “But a hot one.” I kissed him lightly, and we both fixed our uniforms. “This what you had in mind when you came back to the ball the other night?”

  “It . . .” He blushed. “It crossed my mind, yes.”

  “Good. Then we’re on the same page.”

  He threw another glance toward the door. “As long as, uh, nobody catches on.”

  “I don’t think they will. The old training supervisor came into my office all the time, so no one would be surprised if you do.”

  “That’s true.” He paused, chewing his lip. “Think we should keep this on the down-low at work, though?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t think we should necessarily advertise it, but I don’t really care if anyone knows. Unless you do.”

  “Not really. We’re not in the same chain of command, so it won’t affect anything.”

  “Wouldn’t be the first time people in our building dated, either.” I smiled. “And hey, we’re both out, so it won’t be a big shock.”

  Clint laughed uneasily. “That’s true.” He cringed. “God, I still feel like an idiot for showing up the other night with Logan.”

  “But it’s done.” I brought his hand up and kissed the backs of his fingers. “And hey, if you hadn’t . . .”

  Our eyes met. After a moment, he relaxed and finally smiled.

  “Guess it was worth it, wasn’t it?”

  “Well.” I wrapped my arms around him. “I happen to think so.”

  “Yeah, I’m leaning that way myself.” He kissed me. “And I really had better get back to work before we end up leaning over your desk.”

  “Good point.” One more kiss, and I gently nudged him back. “All right. Back to work.” With a wink, I added, “I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Looking forward to it.”

  We exchanged grins, and then he was gone. Oh yes. Tonight was going to be amazing.

  And while I was thinking about it, I texted Kimber to let her know I wouldn’t be home tonight. Even if I didn’t stay over at Clint’s—and I likely wouldn’t—it was better to let her assume she wouldn’t see me until tomorrow. And as much as she probably didn’t need to think about her dad dating, or what “not coming home tonight” meant, she’d assured me a long time ago that some TMI was better than the alternative.

  She texted back, K. See you tomorrow.

  Will you be ok tonight?

  Dad, I’m 22. And I have the Netflix password.

  I chuckled and started to relax. She was an adult, and she’d been in a pretty good state of mind recently. I fully intended to keep it that way.

  With her evening taken care of, my own mind shifted toward my own. Behind closed doors with Clint? Knowing he wanted this as much as I did?

  Oh yes.

  I am so ready for tonight.

  Bring it on, Clint.

  Thanks to skipping lunch, I was able to slip out of the office around four thirty. Travis was held up for a while because he had a meeting with the CO, but about ten minutes before I got home, he texted me to let me know he was on his way.

  While I waited for him, I couldn’t sit still. I’d showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and now all there was to do was wait. And wait. And try to keep myself calm and cool.

  Why isn’t he here yet? He should’ve been here five minutes ago.

  Did he remember how to get here? Wait, I’d given him my address, and his car had GPS. He’d find the place. Right? Did I need to text him with my apartment number?

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  And then . . .

  Footsteps on the walkway.

  The distinct sound of boots.

  Fuck yes.

  I opened the door right as he stepped onto the porch. Neither of us said a word. He hooked his fingers in my waistband and pulled me in close, and we were back in each other’s arms. We kissed. Stumbled. Somehow made it off the porch and into the apartment without falling on our asses, and I was so tangled up in him, I couldn’t even remember for sure if we’d closed the door.

  I opened my eyes briefly. Glanced past him.

  Yep. Door was closed.

  Where were we?

  I cradled the back of his head and kissed him even harder.

  “Sorry I took so long,” he panted against my lips. “Fucking traffic through the gate.”

  “’S’okay. You made it.”

  “Finally.”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  His hands slid across my bare skin, emphasizing how dressed he still was. That wouldn’t do. This uniform needed to be on the floor right now.

  He must’ve had the same idea, because we both started fumbling with buttons. One by one, they gave. I pushed the blouse off his shoulders.

  “By the way,” I said as I ran my hands up the front of his snug T-shirt, “one more hour at work, and I would’ve run out of military bearing.”

  “You and me both,” he said between kisses, and slid his hands down over my ass. “Today was killing me. Even before you showed up in my office.”

  “Tell me about it.” I started kissing my way down his neck. “You didn’t have to stand up in front of a class and try not to get a hard-on.”

  He laughed, tilting his head to the side as I inched toward his collarbone. “Maybe I should’ve teased you a bit more.”

  “That wouldn’t have been a good idea.” I bit his shoulder through his clothes, and he responded with the most delicious groan.

>   “Not a good idea?” He pressed against my dick. “Why not? What would’ve happened?”

  “All kinds of . . . court-martial-worthy . . . offenses.” I groaned softly. “On government property.”

  “More than what we already did?”

  “So much more.”

  “Hmm. Scandalous.” He dipped his head and kissed my neck. “Might have to step up my game at work. See what happens when you lose all your—”

  “Don’t you dare,” I growled.

  “Or what?”

  “I’ll tell the CO.” I curved my hands over his ass. “Tell her you seduced me in my office.” I kissed beneath his jaw and murmured, “Tell her I was . . . helpless to resist . . . your charm.”

  We both broke out laughing.

  “Go ahead and tell her,” he said. “I won’t deny it.”

  “Shameless bastard.”

  “You better believe it.” He gripped the back of my neck and kissed me even harder, and I melted against him. Fuck, I hadn’t wanted a man this bad in a long time. And why the hell did the Navy insist on so many buttons?

  Whatever. I managed to get them open, and finally—after fantasizing about him all damned day—I had his very hard cock in my hand.

  As he nibbled my neck and I stroked his dick, he whimpered softly. “Jesus . . .”

  “Been thinking about this all day,” I said.

  “M-me too.” He nipped above my collar. “Now you’re gonna make me . . . gonna . . . fuck, I’m gonna come on your clothes.”

  We weren’t at work anymore, so I pumped his dick faster and grinned. “Damn right you are.”

  He moaned, fucking into my fist.

  “One of these days,” I panted as he fell apart in my arms, “I’m gonna get you naked before I start getting you off.”

  His fingers tightened on my shoulders. “Fuck . . .”

  “But every time I get near you, I just can’t stop.”

  A low groan turned to a helpless whimper, and he shuddered in the same moment his nails bit in through my shirt, and a second later, his whole body jerked, and suddenly my hand was slick and hot, and I stroked him even faster as he swore and gasped and trembled between me and the wall.

  “Jesus Christ,” he breathed, sagging against the wall. “I’ve been needing that all damn day.”

  “You and me both.” I leaned in and kissed under his jaw. “I hope you’re not done yet.”

  He laughed. “Done? We’re not even naked yet.”

  “Hmm, you’re right. We should do something about that.”

  “Yes, we should.” Still out of breath, he unbuckled my belt. I tugged his shirt free and started to push it up and off, but as I did, my finger snagged briefly on one of the wires he had on that box he always carried.

  “Shit.” I froze. “Am I— Did I—”

  “It’s fine. It’s fine.” He peeled his shirt the rest of the way off, then disconnected the wires from the pads, and put the box and wires in his pocket. “There. Now it’s out of the way.”

  “But is—”

  He cut me off with a deep, desperate kiss that could only mean stopping was absolutely out of the question, so I took his word for it and wrapped my arms around him. Jesus—his skin was hot under my hands, and his body heat radiated through my shirt.

  I broke the kiss with a breathless “Need to get this off.”

  Travis didn’t miss a beat. Between us, we pulled off my T-shirt, and then we were skin to skin all the way down to my belt and the still-clothed bulge beneath it. We’d get to that. For now, I just fucking loved touching him like this.

  Abruptly, though, he pulled away and dropped his gaze. “Fuck.”

  “What? You okay?”

  “Yeah, I . . .” He let his head fall back against the wall and swore again. “Listen, before we go too much further . . .”

  My heart sped up. I swept my tongue across my lips. “Something wrong?”

  “I should . . . now that you know I have that thing on . . .” He exhaled and looked in my eyes. “I’m kind of, uh, limited on what I can do.”

  “Oh.” I froze. I was suddenly afraid to touch him. It was like he might break right there in my arms if I did anything wrong. “How limited?”

  “Well, on a bad day, I can’t do much of anything.” He sighed. “And even on a good day, anal is pretty much a no go. Like . . . giving or receiving.” He cringed, as if bracing for my response.

  “Oh. Really?”

  “Yeah. I mean, I love it. Loved it. But I . . .” His eyes lost focus for a second before meeting mine again. “You know how they say pilots are an inch shorter after an ejection, right?”

  I nodded, suppressing a shudder.

  “It’s no exaggeration. And that kind of compression injury makes sex really . . . Basically it’s not something I can do without aggravating my back. Even if I just lie there. I’ve tried a million different positions, but it’s—”

  “Okay.” I shrugged. “You can still get head, right?”

  He nodded. “You know I can. And I can give it too.”

  I grinned, relieved as hell that I could still touch him, and slid my hands up his chest. “Then we’ll be fine.” Before he could speak, I kissed him, and I held on to the back of his neck so he knew I wanted him to stay right there. He didn’t protest—he wrapped his arms around me again and moaned softly as I slipped my tongue past his lips.

  Aroused as I was, my heartbeat was coming down. When he’d said he needed to tell me something, I’d wound myself up, expecting him to drop some huge bomb. What, I couldn’t imagine, but as nervous as he’d obviously been, it had seemed like something more earth-shattering. I was curious about when and why he’d had to eject, but that story could wait until he was ready to tell it.

  No anal? Dude, keep kissing me like that, and I couldn’t care less what we don’t do.

  In my bedroom, he lay on his back, and I carefully got on top of him. I kept my weight off him as much as I could, and holy shit, I was in heaven. Neither of us was in any hurry now. We were in private. We were in bed. We were naked. His body was hot against mine and his breath was cool on my skin, and we had hours and hours at our disposal to touch and explore each other if we wanted to. Before long, Travis was recovering from getting stroked off, his cock hardening against my thigh.

  In the back of my mind, I was constantly aware of what he’d said about being limited by his pain. With every move I made, I worried I’d hurt him, but if I’d given him so much as a twinge, he hadn’t let on. He kissed me as hungrily as he had in his office, and I decided then and there I would never get tired of his hands running all over my body.

  “You know what I’ve been wanting to do all day?” he asked breathlessly.

  “Hmm?”

  He squeezed my cock and whispered, “I want to suck you off so bad.”

  There wasn’t an inch of skin that didn’t suddenly have goose bumps on it. “What a coincidence—because I’ve been wanting to do the same to you.”

  “Then what are we waiting for?”

  We shifted around so we were lying in opposite directions, and I closed my lips around his dick in the same moment he closed his around mine.

  Holding back was one hell of a struggle. I wanted to come in his mouth, but . . . not yet. I loved this way too much. I loved the way he responded to everything I did—when he moaned, the vibration thrummed against my own cock, and when he shivered, his lips and hand tightened.

  I lifted myself up on my elbow and used that hand to stroke him, freeing my other to roam all over his thigh, his hip, and his side. I couldn’t get enough of touching him, and as if I wasn’t already in heaven, he was still working his magic on my cock.

  His hips rocked faster. A moment later, I realized mine had started doing the same without any conscious effort on my part. I didn’t make any effort to stop them, either. Not when the result was my cock sliding between his lips like that. Jesus. I was fucking his mouth, he was fucking mine, and every time he moaned around my cock or his own
cock seemed to get even thicker, I went a little further out of my mind.

  Oh God. Oh God, yeah. How do you do that?

  A shiver ran down my spine and curled my toes. I didn’t bother holding back anymore. He was stroking faster and licking and sucking with the kind of intensity that meant only one thing—I want you to come.

  Ask and ye shall receive.

  And . . . fuck . . . yes.

  My whole body shook with the force of my orgasm, and somehow—God only knew how—I kept pleasuring him, moaning as he pushed his dick deeper into my mouth, and then he was coming too, and his throaty groan made my climax even more intense, even longer, until we both stopped and sank onto the bed.

  Holy shit.

  As soon as my head had cleared enough that I could get up without passing out, I lifted myself up on rubbery limbs and shifted around again to join him. The second he could reach me, he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me down to kiss him.

  “In case it wasn’t clear,” I said in between kissing him and catching my breath, “I definitely don’t regret coming out at the Navy Ball anymore.”

  “Good. Because I’m really glad you did.”

  And he kissed me again.

  “Lieutenant Commander Fraser,” Major Carter said frostily, “I need to see you in my office. Now.”

  That tone. She never took that tone with me.

  Everyone was looking. No one spoke, and no one moved, but they watched. Under their glares, guilt swelled in my gut. Shame, even though I had no idea why.

  Without a word, I got up and followed her, and the scrutiny of my peers made me feel smaller and smaller and guiltier and guiltier.

  Major Carter stopped outside her office and waved me in. “I need you to explain a few things to me.”

  I hesitated, then stepped through the door.

  In her office, the recon images weren’t in a folder. They weren’t even spread out on the desk. They were on the walls. Floor to ceiling. In HD. Every contorted, obliterated, charred body. Every lifeless stare. Every piece of burned flesh. They kept changing too, getting more graphic, more horrifying.

  I tried to back out of the office, but got tangled up in something. Couldn’t get away. Couldn’t—

  Sheets.

 

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