by D. W. Cee
My sixth course was my favorite course! It was baked lobster on a bed of truffled foie gras stuffing. This course has three of my favorite gastronomic words - Lobster, Truffle, and Foie Gras. I know it’s hard to believe I would have such taste buds on a teacher’s salary.
Next course was my least favorite – the cheese course. I couldn’t get beyond the smell so I opted not to have it. Sarah enjoyed it.
Last but not least was dessert. It was a carmelized custard with hazelnut praline and brown butter ice cream. We topped it off with a Guatemalan rum.
Jake, this experience could have only been made better if you were here. As much as I enjoyed Sarah’s company tonight, I wish you could have been with me. Thank you for my most special gastronomic experience! We will catch a cab back to the hotel and crash. We are full from all the food and sloshy from all the wine. Sarah says, “Thank You!” as well. I will call you in the morning. I miss you dearly.
Though I hadn’t had dinner yet, I felt full just reading how satisfied Emily was with her meal tonight. I too wished I could have been there with her. In the future there would be other restaurants we would enjoy together. For now, a heap of contentment filled my soul.
Thanksgiving came and went and I felt a loneliness I had never felt before. There was this gap in my life that couldn’t be filled no matter who I was with. Emptiness followed me all day. Even with a room full of family, people I have loved all my life, I couldn’t shake this feeling that something - no I guess I should say someone - was missing. If this is what Emily was talking about when she told me how alone she felt, it made me sick to my stomach I made her feel this way.
Sunday couldn’t come fast enough. Emily’s plane would land at 8:00pm so I rushed to go get her. Giddy and nervous about seeing her I paced near the arrival gate. No matter what I tried, this bundle of nerves wouldn’t disappear. The sight of Charlie was a happy respite from my hyperactive senses.
“Hi Charlie. Did you have a good Thanksgiving?”
“Yeah, it was great. How was yours?”
“Mine was long. I couldn’t wait to see Emily.”
“So I heard. I got an earful from Sarah on how attentive you were all week.”
I guess I needed to apologize to Charlie? Maybe I had put him in an awkward situation.
“Sorry but I had to make up for all our botched dates. I think Emily was ready to stop seeing me when I didn’t make it up to Bacara.”
“Yeah. She wasn’t happy up there.” Charlie shook his head. “I want you to know Sarah and I are glad to see Emily so happy again. We haven’t seen her this lit up in a long time. You’ve been really good to her and for her.”
“Thanks. I have to tell you, whatever good I’ve been for her is miniscule compared to the joy she’s brought to my life. I was telling my sister the other day I’ve never loved any girl as much as I love Emily. I’d marry her today if I knew she felt the same way.”
Charlie looked somewhat uneasy. “Take it slow with Emily. She’s been through a lot and though I think she’s healed now, I don’t know if she’s ready to jump into a serious relationship so quickly.” He must have seen the uneasy look on my face. “I don’t mean to worry you. She’ll come around. I will admit, I’ve never seen her show so much emotion towards anyone as she’s done with you. You’ve brought out a whole new side of Emily. I can tell she really likes you too.”
Charlie’s efforts to try and make me feel better didn’t go unappreciated. We chatted more about our holiday when I heard my name being called and saw Emily running towards me. She placed herself wholly into my chest and my arms molded around her naturally. Seeing her solidified my knowledge that she had permanently tattooed herself into my heart. Her presence felt like an immutable fixture never to be removed.
“I’m so happy to finally be with you, Jake.”
“And I’m very happy you feel that way. I’ve missed you, Sweetheart.”
“Not as much as I’ve missed you,” she declared.
Stunningly, her blazing kiss in the middle of the airport surprised me even more than how much she missed me. I felt self-conscious for her, making out in public as many eyes were staring. When we both came up for air, Charlie looked at me to say, “Maybe I was wrong. She might be ready after all.”
Embarrassed to show her face after her attack, Emily buried her head in my chest. I kept both my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
“Let’s go home, Beautiful.” I only wished this home was our home. I didn’t know if I could part from her tonight.
Chapter 7 Why is He Still in Your Heart?
Another couple of long weeks passed without being able to spend much time with one another. Nothing made me happier these days than being with Emily.
“Hello Sweetheart. Are you done with school?” I called her on her cell.
“Yeah, it’s almost vacation so there’s not much for me to do. I came home early. Do you want to come over for dinner?”
“It might not be till late,” I answered.
“Was it ever early?” she laughed. “Come whenever you can. Call me right before you leave.”
Early for my standards I left the hospital around eight and stopped by the flower shop before going to Emily’s. Not knowing what flowers she liked, I picked a vase filled with a large array of flowers. I drove like a mad man, toppling the vase a couple of times, to see her as quickly as possible. Rather than ringing the doorbell, I used my set of keys. I tip toed in quietly, put the flowers on the dining table, and crept up right behind her and kissed her neck.
She hollered in fright.
I frightened her even more by forcing a kiss to stop the hollering.
She broke off much too soon. “JAKE! You scared me to death. I need my key back if you’re going to do this again.”
“I’m not giving it back.” I kissed her some more. “What are you making? It smells good.”
“I’m trying to make a paella. It’s almost done. Will you set the table?”
“Okay.” Searching through every drawer, I took out all the necessary utensils and opened up a bottle of wine. Without a doubt, this felt like home.
“Jake, I want to ask you something.” She brought over our meal.
“What is it?” I took the large spoon and served the both of us. “Emi, this is delicious!” I said after taking the first bite.
“Well, there’s this Christmas Ball I attend every year and I was wondering if you’d like to go with me this year?”
I looked up from my bite. “Of course! When is it?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow? How come you’re asking me now? What if I’m working tomorrow night?”
“If you’re working, we don’t have to go. I didn’t go last year either. Sarah and Charlie are forcing me to go this year because they are involved with the planning.”
“Will your ex and his girlfriend be there? Is that why you don’t want to go?”
“Kind of… I’m such a chicken, huh? I’m still not mentally ready to see him or his new girl. I’d be totally fine if you didn’t want to go.”
“Emily, let’s go and get this over with. I’m perturbed that you’re still bothered by your ex. Maybe you’re not over him.” I put down my utensils and confronted Emily though this was not my intention. She looked startled.
“I am over him! I just don’t want to see him,” was Emily’s defense.”
“If you don’t like him anymore, why is it so hard for you see him again?”
“I don’t know. I’m afraid to see him. I don’t want to remember the hurtful memories of our last day.” Emily’s eyes watered and this angered me further. Here was a girl I wanted to marry and she was still crying at the memory of her ex-boyfriend. I knew she hurt easily and teared readily and I should have been more understanding but this only fueled my frustration.
“Emily. From the day I met you, every time Max’s name came up, your expression turned gloomy and your eyes flooded with water. How are we to progress if you can’t let
go of your past?” I regretted my words as soon as they came out.
“Have you never loved someone so much that when it was over you felt like your life was over too? Well, that was me with Max. He broke my heart into so many pieces it’s still not back together again. Honestly, I don’t love him anymore but I can’t say I don’t still hurt. I don’t know when this hurt will stop.”
Her response borderline enraged me. I couldn’t believe what I’d just heard. “What about me? What about us?” My tone was harsh.
“Jake, I like you very much but we just started getting to know each other. You really do have a way with making me feel so special. And I was telling you the truth when I said I feel empty when you’re not with me. But please understand Max was with me every day for four years. All those memories are hard to erase so quickly.”
“So quickly? It’s been a year and a half already. Emily, I don’t think you want to forget. If that’s the case, what am I doing here?” I got up to leave mid-dinner.
“Jake, please don’t go.” She held my hand and followed me to the door. “Can’t we talk this through? I’m not in love with him anymore, I have no desire to be with Max, and I’m working on letting go of all the hurt. Can’t you give me a little more time? You and I met suddenly and whatever it is that we have right now blossomed much quicker than I expected.”
“What do you mean whatever it is that we have? Are we not in a relationship?”
She looked at me with tears flowing in her eyes again. This time the tears were a result of my words. This had nothing to do with her ex. “I don’t know what we are in. We’ve never sat down to talk about us. Every time I think it might happen, you get called away.”
“So, it’s back to being my fault. Emily, I can’t win with you. Let’s talk later. I’m going to leave.” I let go of her hand and walked out the door. As I peeked in her window while driving the car around I saw that she hadn’t left her spot. I shouldn’t have said all those things to her. She was right. We hadn’t talked about our relationship. That was the reason for the ring – to solidify our commitment. I thought about going back to her and telling her how much I loved her but the damage had been done.
I got home and found her text waiting for me.
I’m very sorry. I wish you hadn’t left. I miss you.
Terrible was an understatement for what I felt before reading her text and now I felt even worse. Why had I done this to her? She was only being honest telling me where her heart was at. I couldn’t blame her for not feeling as strongly as I did. Needing to make things right, I called her immediately. There was no answer. A minute later I called again. She still didn’t answer.
Emily, where are you? Why aren’t you answering your phone?
She took much longer than usual to answer her text.
I’m home.
Why aren’t you answering your phone?
Because…
My heart broke and my stomach turned. I had made her cry again. This was probably why she wasn’t answering her phone.
Emily, are you crying?
There was no answer again.
Emily, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have walked out on you. Do you want me to come over right now? Can we talk?
I think I’m going to turn in for the night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. You don’t have to go with me tomorrow night if you are busy. I will go by myself. You were right. I need to face Max at some point and move on with my life. I’m sure the first time is the hardest.
I will come pick you up around 6:00. Can I shower and get ready at your place?
Sure, but you really don’t have to take me. I promise. I will attend with or without you.
Goodnight, Sweetheart. I’m sorry I left you alone. I miss you too.
Goodnight.
Right on time I parked outside her house to find the lights off and her car absent. My texts and calls went unreturned so I worried that she was still hurt by my actions last night. Wanting to wait for her inside but holding off a few more minutes I replayed last night’s conversation. Tonight we would discuss our relationship and I would get this ring on her and show her where I would like for us to head.
Finally, her car pulled up into the driveway and she almost stumbled out of her car in excitement. She beamed a most stunning smile when our eyes met. Beautiful! – The only word that aptly described this woman in my life. Trusting she wasn’t upset anymore I walked over to greet her.
“Hi Jake. I’m so happy to see you. Have you been waiting long? I wish you would have called me,” was her welcome.
“Hi Beautiful. You look stunning.” I didn’t think it could be possible for her to look any better. “Do you not have your phone on you? I called and texted all day but you never answered. You had me worried.”
“Sorry. I guess I forgot my phone at home. I’m so happy you’re here.” She stopped to hug me. It made me feel wanted and appreciated but a little guilty that she was so happy to see me. “Let’s go in. You can use the guest room to get ready.”
“Did you not believe me last night when I said I was coming to pick you up at six?”
A peculiar smile donned my beauty’s face. It looked like she didn’t believe me but was trying to play it off.
“Well?” I pushed a little harder for a truthful answer.
“Go in and get dressed,” was all I got as she pointed to the guest bathroom. I let it go for now.
We both walked out at the same time and my date was a picture of perfection. “You look amazing,” I declared putting my arms around her. She had a funny guilt-ridden look on her face. Maybe she felt bad about last night’s conversation. We needed to work through last night’s argument once this evening was done. Tonight, I really needed to give her this ring and have us commit to one another.
“You look pretty amazing yourself. I’m going to have to fight off all the ladies in the ballroom,” she teased. With Max attending this event, there was not a chance I would be with anyone but Emily. My eyes would not let this beautiful girl out of my sight.
We walked to my car and I caught Emily staring at me in the most loving way. I’d not seen this look before. This look gave me a sense of hope that we would make it to the very end. I loved this girl immensely but she frustrated me with her response. Some days she responded as though she loved me just as much as I loved her, and some days I wondered if we would make it through today.
We got to the hotel and walked into a large ballroom. “Emily!” was all heard when in the blink of an eye I had lost my date to a group of ladies. Three women had pulled Emily away and they were whispering and giggling together. Emily looked my way and pulled me back to her side.
“Jake, this is Becca, Lizzy and Christie. We have all been roommates at some point throughout my four years in undergrad.”
“Ladies, this is Jake,” Emily introduced us.
“Hello, Jake!” they all chorused in unison like those ER residents did to Emily. She was right. It was creepy.
“Hi.” I smiled and nodded politely.
“Jake, I’m going to go see Sarah and Charlie and get us checked in. Hang here with all the gals, will ya?” Emily said with a wink. Helpless, I had no choice but to talk to these women as Emily quickly walked away with a smirk on her face.
“So Jake… what do you do for a living?” The girl with the red hair asked. I think she was Christie.
“I’m a doctor.”
“Ooh, what kind of doctor?” This time it was the blond girl who asked. Becca, possibly?
“I’m a heart surgeon.”
“Wow!” they chorused again.
“So how did you and Emily meet? When did you meet? Have you been dating long? Are you just friends? Are you two serious? Which hospital do you work at? I’d love to give you my number if you and Emily aren’t an item.” I got whiplash going back and forth listening to the onslaught of questions. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t say a word.
As they kept asking more questions, I realized these women were no different than thos
e ER interns. Emily knew exactly what she was doing when she left me here alone. That was why she had that smirk on her face. I’d have to get her back for this one.
“Excuse me, ladies. I need to get back to my Emily.” With that I walked away and hurried towards Emily who was talking to a group of people.
Rudely interrupting her conversation, I grabbed her from behind and forced my lips on hers. Stupefied, Emily tried to push me away as her cheeks turned many shades darker. Her eyes stayed wide opened.
“Oh geez Charlie, look. Those two are at it again,” Sarah responded with a happy sigh.
When I thought she’d had enough, I let go. Her ragged breath and flustered cast had me, Charlie and Sarah in stitches.
“What was that?” she whispered embarrassed to show her face.
“Payback.” I playfully threatened her. “Why did you run away and leave me with those women? If I have to spend any more time with those women, I’m going to take you back to the ER tonight.”
Emily understood and started cracking up. “You didn’t like my friends? I’m sure they liked you!”
“I missed you. Don’t leave my side tonight. I don’t want to be apart from you, okay?”
She nodded her head.
I realized many eyes were staring at us. “I’m sorry,” I said to Emily and her friends, “was I interrupting something?”