by D. W. Cee
“Why is your stuff here? And where are Jane’s belongings?”
I nervously explained we had switched rooms and that I planned to be with her the rest of the trip.
She scolded me and went into her long speech about wanting to stay pure.
“Come on Emi. Wasn’t last night wonderful? Let me stay here with you.”
She cut me off and said no.
“Just one more night, please? I’ll switch back with Jane tomorrow.”
“No.” She was way too adamant on this issue. “Will you please ask Jane to come back into this room?”
Did I have a choice? I called Jane and she laughed at me. “I told you so,” she jeered.
Like a child, I pulled my arms away from Emily’s shoulder and sat on the other side of the sofa. She held back her smile and put her head sweetly on my lap and placed my hand on her cheek. Whatever grudge I tried to hold dissipated faster than it formed.
With half the trip already done, Mom and Dad told us to spend Wednesday without them. They were committed to some alumni activity. Without looking I knew Emily was ecstatic there would be no more strenuous activities. She and Jane talked about a spa day until I interrupted their plans.
“You are not planning to leave me alone and go to the spa all day, are you?” I accused Emily.
She and Jane both shook their heads yes.
Rather than scold my girlfriend, I got mad at Jane. “What am I to do if you take Emi away from me?”
“I don’t know. You and Nick find something to do. Go watch another basketball game.” Jane fought back.
“No way, Emi’s with me. You find your own friend.”
Nick got into this argument too. “I thought we were going to go find local food?” He looked over at Emily.
“I have a solution.” Emily stepped in. “How about if Jane and I do a half day at the spa while you boys go watch the morning matches? We’ll meet for lunch around 1:00 and we can go into town and find yummy food.” Jane and Nick loved the idea. Emily knew I wouldn’t go for this without a fight.
To shut me up, she began kissing my lips. “My body hurts badly from all the exercise. I need a massage to unwind me. Would you be okay with that?” She pursued my lips till I gave in. What could I say to her but okay. Jane and Nick laughed at me knowing my biggest weakness was my girlfriend.
Nick and I took the car and drove to the stadium but I only had the patience to watch one match. After two full days together, it was hard being away from Emily.
“Hey, Nick. Let’s go shopping. I haven’t finished my Christmas shopping yet.”
“Alright. I still have a few people to buy presents for as well.”
We went to a mall and on the way to buying the Chief a gift, I saw a solitaire engagement ring that caught my eye. Visions of this ring on Emily’s finger and us at home with kids running around, filled my mind. I wanted to propose to a woman who couldn’t yet admit she loved me but judging by her actions, I knew she too wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. No longer would Emily be lonely on holidays or wondering who would love her the rest of her life. There would be no more fears about me breaking her heart because we would commit to one another forever. I would most definitely be her best friend, her love and the one to create a family with her. Telling myself to hold off proposing till Emily was ready, the sales girl was ecstatic with my huge, spur of the moment purchase. I, in turn, walked out content with my purchase and excited about our future together.
Nick came over and found me. “Hey, it’s almost 1:00. Let’s get back.”
“Okay. Did you get your shopping done?” I asked.
“Not really. I hope some of the shops are open on Christmas. I have several people to buy for.”
“If you’re not done here, I’ll go with you when we get home. I’m sure some of the stores will be open.”
My love looked happy and relaxed when I picked her up.
“Hi!” She beamed and gave me a hug. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”
Hungry she was. She and Nick forced us to eat three lunches along with ice cream to top it off. Only after Jane and I begged, did she and Nick show us mercy. After lunch, we went back in our cabana but it wasn’t nearly as fun as yesterday. Emily took a nap and I read a book. Many times I looked over and desired to pounce on her but I gave her a respite from my advances and let her sleep.
Thursday brought more eating in town along with a peaceful day with just the two of us. Mom, Dad and Jane went exploring on their own and Nick, after lunch, decided to go surfing one last time. We went back to the shops and Emily bought presents for the rest of my family and I walked around content as her bag boy. We picked up Nick, and after one last trip to the ice cream store, headed to the airport.
Chapter 11 Will You Marry Me? Part 1
We got into LA early Christmas morning and we all went our separate ways. Emily walked on cloud nine talking about my family. It felt wonderful to know they all got along so well.
“I had such a wonderful time with your family, Jake. Thank you! Though I just met them, I cherish them like my own. Your mom and dad did an amazing job raising you three. I see why you turned out to be such a caring person. I’m really glad I came on this trip. I feel much closer to you and your family.”
If she loved my family as her own, she must love me as well. And since love to her is an eternal word, then she must want to be with me forever. After making such deductions, I pulled the car on the side of the road and decided to propose… now!
“Why are we stopping?”
I went to the trunk and pulled out the engagement ring form my suitcase and handed it to Emily. She looked shocked.
“Merry Christmas, Sweetheart.”
“Jake. I left your present at home. Let’s exchange gifts when we get back to my house.”
“No, I want you to open this now.”
She slowly unwrapped the present and looked frightened the moment she opened the box.
“Emi, don’t be scared,” I tried to convince her. “I bought this thinking I could hold off till you were ready but after this trip, I realize I don’t want to be without you.” I took a deep breath.
“Emily Anne Logan, I know it’s only been a short two months but I want to be with you forever. I love you more than any man could love a woman and I promise to love you this way for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?”
Yes! I did it!
There was a long silence. Emily stared blankly and she looked like she was thinking about our situation. I leaned over and kissed her a few times to try and break her confused glare.
“Jake. You know how much I like you…” This was not the way I thought her answer would begin. “After meeting your family and spending time with you in Hawaii, I know your family is just about as perfect as a family can be. But, I’m not ready for a lifelong commitment. It’s too soon. You can’t mean this already. I am committed to you as a girlfriend and that’s where I’d like to stay for a while. I hope this is okay. I’m sorry but my answer is no.”
Rejected. She had outright rejected my proposal even though I’d asked her to think about it. I begged her not to say no but just to consider it. She did none of that. Her answer was a flat out no. Was I wrong thinking that this girl wanted to be with me the rest of her life? She always appeared so complete when we were together. There was no way I was wrong in thinking that no matter what she could or could not admit, she loved me as much as I loved her. We were perfect for each other.
With a guilty face she asked, “I’m sorry. Are you hurt by my response?” She kept repeating, “I’m sorry,” as though I hadn’t heard it the first, second or third time.
Was I hurt by her answer? Was she kidding me? Angry, I turned the car back on and started driving her home.
“Jake, we just started dating. Why do we need to move so fast? Can’t we just enjoy ourselves?”
I was going to keep quiet but I couldn’t hold back. “Emily, why can’t you even consider the proposal? Why do you need to rej
ect it so quickly? I’ve known since the day we met at the grocery store I wanted to marry you. Can’t you see how much I love you? Why are you so scared all the time?”
I became more upset than I would’ve liked. ‘Hurt,’ she asked? I was devastated. But, broken up as I was, I didn’t want to unnecessarily scare Emily. I knew she walked on eggshells when I went into my tirade.
“Jake, it’s been two months. How do you know already? How do you know a few months down the road you will still desire forever with me? Maybe we were both caught up in the bliss of Hawaii?”
The bliss of Hawaii? Now I was furious. “Why do you always doubt my love for you? Is it because of Max? Just because he callously dumped you rather than marry you doesn’t mean I’m going to do the same thing to you. Don’t compare us! Are you still not over him? Is this what your rejection is all about? Would you have said no to him if he had asked you to marry him?” I yelled loudly enough hoping that Emily didn’t catch my name immediately changing from Jake to Ass. I would have to do some serious groveling to get back in her good grace for all the accusations I had just thrown at her.
“Why are you bringing Max into this?” Emily yelled back. She went straight from penitent to angry.
“Forget it, Emily! Forget I just proposed. Let’s forget everything.”
Those were not choice words but they were what I blurted out. I saw Emily turn her head towards the window and she went silent as well. My ears strained listening for muffled cries but my eyes were too fearful to go searching for proof. I drove as fast as I could towards her house. When I pulled up to her driveway, she got out of the car and fearfully asked, “Do you want to come in and talk?”
My eyes swiftly averted from the drops of tears that dotted her every eye lash. “No. Let’s just forget this whole ordeal… just forget everything. I’ll see you later,” was all I said.
The light in her eyes extinguished faster than I could finish my sentence and the roar of her pain was deafening. If my legs were long enough to reach my rear end I would have used it to give myself a life threatening kick. Nevertheless I ignored her pain and dwelled on my need to placate my hurt feelings and my bruised ego. Did this girl not comprehend I had never loved another enough to want marriage? What about my attentiveness and loving kindness would possess her refuse
me? She was an enigma!
Half a block down from Emily’s house, I sat in the car berating myself. You are a world class idiot! Loser! Moron! I did exactly what I told her I would never do – break her heart and leave her. As much as I denied it, my girlfriend and almost fiancée was crying as she left my car. Who was I kidding? She cried the whole ride home. Aargh! How did this vacation go so wrong?
Proposing after only two months; yelling at her for turning down my proposal; taunting her about a proposal that never happened, one that I knew broke her heart – what an ass I was!
I definitely shouldn’t have brought up Max. I knew he wasn’t the reason she turned me down. Knowing Emily, she was probably scared again. She couldn’t let herself believe I loved her enough to want to take care of her the rest of her life. She was right. It was too soon for her. I would give her more time and ask again when I saw that she was ready.
Bravely, I walked up her driveway and rang the doorbell.
It felt like someone was stabbing me in the heart with an ice pick when I saw Emily greet me with that painful look of dejection.
“Hi,” I whispered unsure whether or not she would take me back. “Can I come in? Can we talk?”
In silence she stepped away from the door and away from me. Reaching for her arm, I pulled her into my body and held her as if my life depended on it. I couldn’t lose her now, or ever.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! It killed me to see you walk away, so hurt by all the things I said to you.”
Before she could reject me I feverishly spewed out everything that was on my mind.
“I knew you’d be hurt, I knew you’d be crying, but my ego got the better of me and I couldn’t stay to work this out. My head needed to be cleared before I could come back and find a resolution. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’m sorry I was so angry with you. And I’m really sorry that I brought up Max and said all those asinine words to you.” There was only a dead silence. “Emi?” I kissed the tears from her eyes. “Why are you so quiet? Talk to me,” I begged.
“Where does this leave us now?” her voice shattered.
“What do you mean?” Was this her way of breaking up with me?
“You told me twice, ‘let’s just forget everything.’ Does everything include us? If so, I’d like for you to be honest with me. Since I turned down your proposal I get it if you want to break up with me.”
“Unbelievable!” Did I hear this girl correctly? She was crying because she thought I was breaking up with her? Oh Emily. I really needed to have a talk with her.
But, before any talk… I grabbed her beautiful face and kissed her like she’d never been kissed before.
“Does that answer your question?”
Not surprisingly, she shook her head ‘no.’
Emily! I sighed to myself. Obviously the first kiss hadn’t convinced her. She was issuing a challenge that I gladly accepted. Practically swallowing her mouth we disengaged only when it was obvious we would soon pass out from a lack of air.
Her big brown eyes were unconvinced… still!
Before bringing my head down for another round, I exclaimed, “I can do this all day until you get it.”
“Wait!” She stepped away breathing hard. “Let’s talk.”
I waited for her to make the first move. Little by little she moved away from me to the other end of the couch and sat there for a while reassessing.
“What did you mean when you said you wanted to forget everything?”
“Emi… I just wanted to undo the mess I had gotten myself into. I’d said so many careless words to you. I didn’t mean to bring up your heartache with Max. I know you don’t love him anymore. In some ways, I was mad, hurt, jealous – there were so many emotions going through my head and I said everything that came to mind. There was neither discretion nor discernment and I’m sorry.”
“Why would you be jealous? Of what? Of whom?”
“Of Max, I suppose. There was a time you wanted him to propose to you. I thought maybe you’d want the same from me…”
“Jake. I know I haven’t made myself very clear on this subject but I am absolutely in love with you.”
I KNEW IT! She loved me! Happy days were here again.
“Say that again,” I issued my own command while creeping closer to her.
Her face finally broke into a smile. “Which part? That I haven’t been too clear with you or that…”
Tease.
Our bodies formed a straight and perfect lower case l on the couch with me on top.
“You love me?” I questioned while necking my way back from perdition.
“I am irrevocably in love with you, but I’m not ready to marry you. Are you okay with that?”
“Do I have a choice?” I murmured still unable to take my lips off her face. “This just means I have to work harder to get a yes out of you on both accounts.”
“Huh?” She giggled as I sucked on her neck.
“Sex and marriage! In that order, starting now, if possible.”
That’s when I got kicked out of the house.
I left Emily’s to go home and unpack before dinner. I tried to convince her to come with me but she decided to stay home, rest and get ready to meet all my relatives tonight. As soon as I got home Nick asked me to go shopping with him so we left for the few specialty shops we knew would still be open.
“Jake? Nick?” Mom called out. “Can you guys stop by the caterers and pick up some more place settings? I don’t think they sent enough.
“Okay. Can you call me the moment Emily gets here?”
“Will do, Son.”
Several hours into our shopping I called home to see if Emily had com
e by.
“Dad. Has Emily arrived?”
“Oh yeah. She’s been here for a few hours now.”
“What? How come no one called to tell me? Nick, hurry it up. Let’s go home. Emily’s there already.”
We zoomed home and I raced upstairs looking for Emily.
“Here you are. I searched all over the house for you.” I came over to embrace my girlfriend.
She shied away from me and asked, “Why?”
I gave her an incredulous look. Apparently the two women in my life were planning another New York trip without me. I protested heavily and told Emi I needed to be there with her. That’s when Jane protested even more heavily and tried to get me to stay home. Knowing how much Emily loved New York, there was no way I was going to let her experience it again without me.
In the end Emily came up with a peaceful solution and had the four of us, Nick included, travel to the Big Apple. It wasn’t quite what I had in mind but as long as Emily would be there, I was happy. Using Emily as bait Jane got me to agree to a dinner at Masa for all four of us. Emily may not see me the week prior as I’d have to work extra hours to pay for this meal.
I was dying to get Emily alone in my room. I pulled her away from Jane and towards my room even before they got to say a proper goodbye. Emily was amazed at the size of my room. I never thought it was that large until she kept mentioning how grand it was.
“So…” I hesitated to bring up this morning, “are we okay?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You were the one upset. Here lies a scar on my heart,” she pointed to what I saw as her left breast rather than her heart, “because of your asinine actions this morning! Jane was right. You can be really nasty when life doesn’t go your way.”
Dear God. “This is going to be another Allison situation, huh? You’re going to use my folly against me for the next month.”
“A month? Are you kidding me? This is worth at least a year.”
Enough with the talk, I picked her up and dropped her on my bed.
“Jake… your parents… your entire family is in this house, she whimpered while we made out like it was our last kiss.”