by Claire Thake
“I’m so sorry Miss, I didn’t think anyone would be up this early, I’ll come back and finish off later” He said in a deep, sexy voice.
“No, no it’s fine, I’m sorry I couldn’t sleep” Straightening up on the swing, Carrie suddenly became very aware that she was sitting in her pyjamas.
“Nothing to do with the comfort of the barn, I hope” He smiled at her and continued watering the plants.
“No, of course not, I’ve just got a lot on my mind that’s all”
“Hope it’s nothing too serious. Are you enjoying your stay here?” He enquired and Carrie noticed how he had dimples in his cheeks when he smiled. He was nice looking with dark brown hair cut short, and lightly tanned skin. Carrie couldn’t help herself from staring and taking in the strangers features, but then scalded herself for doing so.
“Yes it’s lovely, but I won’t be staying for much longer. I have to get back to work” She said wrapping the cardigan more tightly around her torso, trying to hide the pyjamas as much as she could.
“That’s a shame. There is a big winter fair in town this weekend. I would have suggested that you checked it out but if you won’t be here I guess there is no point. I’m Daniel by the way”
“Carrie” – “I won’t be around but my family will be staying on so I will let them know in case they would like to check it out”
Daniel finished with the plants and shot Carrie a smile “I need to get more jobs done, but it’s been nice talking to you. Enjoy the rest of your stay, and if you decide to stay longer, don’t hesitate to ask if you need anything…Carrie”
“Thank you” Carrie stumbled over her words and felt like she was a teenager again talking to a crush. A wave of guilt fell over her and she frowned. Daniel walked away from the garden and she couldn’t help but also take in his physique from the back and what good shape he seemed to be in.
Grabbing her e-reader Carrie made her way back inside her room, shaking her head at how she had acted in the presence of a good looking stranger and feeling guilty as if she had somehow betrayed Ian. After all she may not have her husband there in the physical sense but mentally she was still a married woman.
*****
After taking a very long hot shower Carrie made her way upstairs for breakfast. Taking a white bowl out of a high cupboard, she poured herself a large bowl of cereal, before grabbing the milk from the fridge, pouring some in a glass as well as over the contents of the bowl. No one else in the house was awake yet and in a way she was glad to be able to have 5 minutes to eat in peace.
It didn’t take long for Jason to appear in the kitchen, looking as if he had just walked through a hedge backwards. Dressed in old man style checked pyjamas, with his hair pointing out at all angles and a light layer of stubble over his face. He said a quick morning to Carrie which if she hadn’t been listening properly would have sounded more like a grunt, before flicking the switch on the kettle and leaning back against the kitchen side, running his hands over his face and yawning at the same time.
“You look awful” Carrie stated, picking up her milk and taking a small sip, before taking a final mouthful of her cereal.
“You really know how to make a guy feel good still I see sis” He replied in a sarcastic tone, whilst turning and putting coffee and sugar into a mug and pouring the boiling water from the kettle into it.
“Just stating the obvious” Carrie said, standing up from the take and taking her bowl to the sink before returning to the table and her glass of milk.
“We’re going to go into town today and go to find some fudge and clotted cream shops, Mums idea; like we used to do as kids. I take it you will be coming?” Jason asked, eying Carrie wearily as he couldn’t gauge whether she would or would make an excuse and blow it out.
“That sounds like fun” she replied “I will be leaving in the morning so best I spend as much time as I can with mum or there really was no reason for me being here” Smiling up at Jason she finished off the last of her milk, walked to the sink and washed up her bowl and glass.
“It been good to have you here sis” Jason murmured in almost a whisper “I’ve missed you”
Carrie stiffened. She had missed him too, but they had to realise her reasoning’s for staying away and really she did not want to get into this conversation right now or well if she was truly honest – NEVER!
Once they were all ready they climbed into Jason’s old heap of a car. Carrie could feel her pulse quicken and started to take deep breaths. She used to drive herself but couldn’t face it again after the accident and cars now made her nervous. It suddenly occurred to her that she had been ok in the cab on the way over and realised she must have been so wound up about the prospect of seeing Jason and her mother, that she never thought about it.
The drive into town seemed to take forever, and Carrie was beginning to get a sick feeling in her stomach. She was never a good passenger on long journeys and had suffered terribly with travel sickness as a child. Jason parked the car in a large car park at the top of the hill and the trio made a slow walk down into the cobbled streets of the town.
The first stop was in an old style sweet shop, filled with all sorts of old fashioned sweets and a large homemade fudge counter. Carrie could not resist buying some clotted cream fudge and some rum and raisin as well as grabbing a bit extra to take back for Leah and the kids.
Next on the agenda was lunch at the fish and chip shop! Tucking in to a big plate of battered cod and chips, smothered with salt and vinegar, with Jason and her mother bought back so many memories; doing the same thing when they were kids, with Jason and Carrie bickering over silly things, such as Jason stealing one of Carries chips.
Carrie watched her mother and a warm feeling crept over her. Her mother seemed so happy and had a glow to her cheeks as she watched her children back spending time together.
Being away from the barn also meant Carrie managed to get into an area with phone signal. After checking her emails and scanning through the 234 new messages to pick out any important ones, she called up the office to check in. Finally she got through to Leanne who told her to enjoy her time off and not to worry about work as it would still be standing once she got back in 12 days. Carrie didn’t want to say on the phone that she would be back the day after for fear Leanne would stop her. She would rather just turn up and face the arguments face to face and then end up back to work.
Carrie also had a few text messages from Leah asking her how it was going, if she had arrived safely and how were her mum and Jason. She texted back a quick reply telling Leah she would call her and fill her in as soon as she got back the next day, before switching her phone off and putting it back in her bag.
After a couple of hours spent in the town, Carrie stayed with her mother whilst Jason went to fetch the car. Spending so much time out had exhausted her and the extent of her illness showed. Carrie put her arm around her mum’s shoulders to help keep her warm and could see the pain in her mum’s eyes from the headaches the tumour was causing and it broke Carries heart to see her mum in so much pain.
The journey back was better than Carrie had expected, her mum had dozed in the backseat and even though she was left with just the company of Jason it wasn’t that bad.
“So you plan on going back tomorrow then?” he questioned, not taking his eyes away from the road
“I have to get back for my job Jay; I’ve missed a lot being off this much”
“You’re entitled to holidays though right? So when do you take them?” he asked glancing at her quickly before returning his focus to the country lane.
“I am but I like my job and like being ahead with what I do, so I don’t take them anymore. Instead they pay me the time I am owed plus my salary at the end of the year if I don’t take it” Sighing Carrie stared out of the window; she hadn’t taken a holiday since her honeymoon with Ian.
“So there is no way you can stay a few days longer? I know Lacey would love to see you, and I’m sure you would love to see Mia”
He was right; she would have loved to have seen her gorgeous niece again after so long. What would another day hurt? Sighing, she nodded and lent her head against the cold glass of the window. She felt like she could sleep for a week. The emotional stress of everything was beginning to take its toll as well as the insomnia it had caused her.
“1 more day to see Mia, but then I really do need to get back home” she said quietly.
“Thank you” Jason muttered quietly.
The rest of the drive home was a quiet one, Jason concentrating on driving, their mother fast asleep and Carrie sat just staring into space and thinking.
Chapter 6
“Damn it” Said Jason slamming the oven door shut, making Carrie and Anne both jump.
“Looks like the element has gone” Jason muttered whilst fiddling with the controls of the oven. Carrie stood up and grabbed her coat
“Who do I need to speak to about it? I’ll go find them, I assume they live on the premises?” She asked slipping the coat over her arms.
“The owner is over in the old farmhouse, go across the courtyard and around the buildings and it’s behind there” Jason shouted
Carrie left the barn and started to walk across the courtyard when she spotted the same guy she had seen in the garden behind the barn, fiddling with a piece of mechanics from what looked like a tractor. Not wanting to walk around the farm not knowing exactly where she was gong she decided to ask him.
“Excuse me, Daniel right?” She asked, Daniel lifted his head from what he was doing, and smiled up at Carrie.
“That’s right, how can I help?” Carrie felt a blush rising in her cheeks, now she was directly in front of him she could see just how good looking he actually was.
“I need to find the owner; we’ve got a bit of a problem with the oven, would you know where I could find him?” Daniel chuckled and wiped his dirty hands down his overalls
“You’ve already found him, what’s the problem?”
“Oh I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to seem rude, I just assumed, well you look very young to own a farm” Carrie stumbled over her words, embarrassed at making such an assumption. “My brother, he thinks the elements blown” Daniel nodded and stared directly at Carrie.
“Give me 5 and I will grab a replacement, I’m sure I have some, and I will be straight over to get it fixed”
“Thanks” Carrie replied, turning back to the barn, and walking as quickly as she could. She couldn’t explain why she was acting so silly. She met attractive men every other day in her line of work yet none had made her want to giggle like a school girl.
True to his word, Daniel knocked on the door 5 minutes later. Jason let him in and the two men got to work on the oven, well Daniel did with Jason hovering over his shoulder attempting to help. Carrie sat in a dining chair watching the pair of them and once again found her gaze taking in all of Daniels appearance. He really did seem too young to be the owner of a farm this size and she wondered if maybe he was the owner’s son and maybe it was a family farm.
“All done” Daniel said standing up and turning to look straight at Carrie
“Thank you so much Mr Caine, now Jason can get on and cook my dinner” Anne chuckled and pointed a finger at Jason as she spoke.
“Please call me Daniel, Mrs Warren, no need for the formalities”
“Thank you Daniel, for coming at such short notice” Carrie said wanting to somehow get in on the conversation
“No problem, did you tell your mother about the winter fair this weekend?” He asked his eyes searching Carries face.
“Oh I totally forgot. Mum, Daniel said there was a really good winter fair in town this weekend”
“That sounds lovely” Said Anne smiling at her daughter
“Mr Caine, are you free this weekend? It would be lovely to have someone to show us around if you are available” Carrie could not believe her ears, had her mother really just asked Daniel to come out with her?
“That sounds wonderful; I will see what I can do. Now I better leave you to have your tea now that the oven is all fixed. Have a lovely evening” He walked to the front door and opened it slowly, turning back slightly and his gaze once again fixing on Carrie; her heart felt as if it had stopped in her chest and she was actually glad when he walked out of the door and left.
“Mum why on earth did you invite him along?” Jason questioned, completely lost as to why his mother would invite a stranger with them.
“He seems a nice boy, and I spoke to him a little when we first got here, and he doesn’t get out much it would seem and I thought it would be nice. Plus a local showing us around would be helpful too” Jason shrugged and turned back to the oven to start on dinner.
Carrie smiled and felt a glow internally. It would be nice to spend more time with Daniel. She couldn’t put her finger on it but she liked the man, and would like to get to know him a bit better.
Carrie could not believe the size of little Mia, when she and her mother Lacey arrived. Taking in the small girls features Carrie could hardly believe how much this child had taken after Jason’s side and Mia was the spitting image of Carrie at that age.
Lacey walked over and embraced Carrie, a gesture that shocked Carrie after the amount of time that had passed since they had last seen each other.
“It’s so good to see you Carrie” Lacey said before turning and picking up her excited child
“Mia, you may not remember but this is your auntie Carrie” Mia gave a small wave at Carrie before hiding her head shyly in the crook of her mother’s neck.
“It’s lovely to see you both again” Carrie stuttered “Do you like fudge Mia?” she asked leaning towards the little girl. Mia smiled and nodded and wiggled away from her mother’s grasp to stand again on the floor
“Well, come with me and I think I may just have a little spare” Carrie held her hand out to Mia and the child looked up at Lacey for confirmation it was ok, and after she gave a small nod, Mia grabbed Carries hand and they walked together in to the kitchen in search of the sweet treat!
Carrie watched her niece sitting on the rug in front of her playing with her pony dolls. The 5 year old making voices for them and acting out her own little scene, her mousey brown curls falling around her face annoying her, and she kept brushing them behind her ears only for them to fall out a few seconds later.
Carrie turned to Lacey, who was sitting next to her on the sofa nursing a cup of hot chocolate; Carrie was doing the same with a large coffee.
“I just can’t get over how much she has grown” Carrie said taking a sip of the strong liquid and wrapping both hands around the cup to warm up.
“Kids have a habit of doing that” Lacey chuckled, picking a bit of fluff off her jeans “It’s really good to see you Carrie, it has been too long”
Carrie sighed; it had been too long but she didn’t know what else to do. Being with her family was hard as it brought back nothing but memories, both good and bad, but the bad seemed to outweigh the good and that was what had kept her away.
She loved her family, but loosing Ian had been such a harsh blow that she had never gotten over and never would and her family reminded her of that which was something she wanted to avoid as much as she could and why she kept running from them and hiding from reality. Staying in her own world where she lived just to work was her own way of escaping the nightmares that plagued her.
However much Carrie tried she could not admit to herself that she had enjoyed being back in the folds of the family, and spending time with the people who should mean the most to her now. Maybe staying on a bit longer wasn’t such a bad idea after all.
“It’s been a rough time for me Lace, I’ve missed everyone but it was just easier for me to stay away”
“I understand Hun, but running is never the answer. Even though things aren’t always great with me and Jay, I know he has really missed you, and this has been a really hard time for your mum”
Her words stung Carrie, but she knew she was telling th
e truth. She had been running, but the pain of staying and facing reality was just too much.
“I agree with you” she whispered holding back tears “but I don’t know what else to do” Carrie looked up at the ceiling trying to hold herself together, this had been a tough few days emotionally for her and dragging up things wasn’t helping.
Lacey reached out and put her hand over Carrie’s and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
“I can’t say I understand what you went through. I would not wish anyone to go through what happened, but you can’t stop living Carrie. It’s not what Ian would have wanted you to do, you know that right?” Lacey, knew she was pushing her luck with Carrie. This conversation would either do some good or force Carrie to run again, she was hoping for the first one.
“I just…I just” trying to hold back the tears Carrie put her hands over her face and took more deep breaths
“Mia sweetie, can you go and find Daddy and ask him to get you ready for bed” Mia looked at her mother and pulled a face
“Now please Mia, don’t make me get cross”
Mia huffed and grabbed her ponies, before stomping off to find Jason.
“I loved him so much Lacey, I should have been the one to go not him” Not able to hold it in any longer the tears began to flow, and Carrie cried so hard her whole body shook. Lacey threw her arms around her and held her tight.
“Oh Carrie” Lacey said smoothing Carrie’s hair with her hand.
Carrie’s mum Anne appeared at the doorway, and her heart broke to see her daughter in such a state. It may have been over 2 years but it was obvious Carrie still felt the same as she did the day she found out Ian hadn’t survived the crash.
*****
“I’m glad you decided to stay a few more days” Anne slipped on her coat and observed Carrie, who was putting on a pair of boots Lacey had lent her, which were much more suitable for the country than her heels and pumps were.