Because of You

by Julie Cannon

  “You look pretty wrung out.”

  “Her parents are—”

  “Typical parents, wanting to take their child home and protect her from experiencing any more pain of the cruel world?”

  Barrett chuckled, the tension in her body sliding away. “God damn, you’re good,” she said, teasing.

  “That’s why you dragged my butt out of bed at zero-dark-thirty this morning, put me in a tin can, and flew me what felt like halfway across the world. The least you can do is buy me a cup of coffee, and not cafeteria coffee. I saw a Pete’s down the block.” Dr. Hinton stood. “You’re buying.”

  Barrett stood, knowing she’d made the right call to bring Dr. Hinton. As much as she wanted to ask how their conversation went, she knew Dr. Hinton wouldn’t tell her, and most importantly, she didn’t want to invade Kelly’s privacy. Feeling almost normal, whatever that was, Barrett extended her arm. “With an offer like that, how’s a girl to refuse?”

  Two cups of coffee and an hour later, Barrett loaded Kelly’s parents into one cab, and she and Dr. Hinton climbed into another for the drive to the hotel.

  It took longer than normal due to the rush-hour traffic that was a staple of life in any big city. A wave of exhaustion hit Barrett as she slid her keycard into the slot in her hotel-room door. Once there, she dropped the card on the desk, emptied her pockets on top of it, and opened the minibar door. She reached for a beer, changing her mind at the last second and pulling a Coke and a cordial of Crown Royal off the neatly organized shelf.

  The hotel had graciously filled the ice bucket, and she dropped three square cubes into a tumbler, emptied the cordial, and added a splash of Coke. Kicking off her shoes, she walked across the room, the thick carpet caressing her tired feet. The curtains were open, offering her a view of the Panama Canal in the distance. She sat down in a side chair and put her feet on the small table in front of her.

  Barrett sipped her drink, first once, then again, then a third time, feeling the warm liquid slide down her throat. She stretched her neck side to side, then front to back, each time counting to ten in an attempt to ease the tense muscles. She needed a massage but didn’t have the energy to call the front desk and schedule one.

  She’d been at the hospital since Kelly arrived yesterday and all day today, dealing with her parents and Dr. Hinton, and it was now close to ten thirty. All in all she’d been up almost forty hours and was well past the point of being tired. Fatigue tugged at every muscle, yet her brain continued to run on full speed.

  Barrett refilled her drink on the way to the bathroom and turned the faucets on in the tub. She tossed in a few of the scented beads she found in a container next to the tub, and the air filled with the fresh fragrance of chamomile. Maybe a warm, relaxing bath would slow her thoughts down enough that she could sleep. A few hours would work, it always had. Rarely did she get more than five or six hours of sleep a night, and lately it had been more like four than six.

  Leaving her clothes in a pile by the sink, Barrett grabbed her cocktail and walked to the tub, the tile cool under her feet. Not even trying to suppress a sigh of pleasure, she slid into the warm, fragrant water. She set the jets on low and lay back, her head on a pillow thoughtfully provided by the hotel. She closed her eyes and felt the tension start to ease from her body.

  Snippets of the last few days flashed through her mind like a kaleidoscope, each morphing into the other. First it was the phone call from Trevor, then the miles she’d paced in the plane to get here. The waiting was the worst, and her pulse beat a little faster as she remembered her overwhelming sense of relief when Kelly had stepped off the plane. When she saw Kelly lying on the crisp white sheets, her hair wet from a bath. When Kelly smiled at her. When Kelly took her hand and didn’t let it go even when she slept. The dread in Kelly’s eyes when she told her she was pregnant.

  A myriad of emotions crashed through Barrett as she struggled to maintain her composure. Tears pushed at the back of her eyes and her hands started to shake. Abruptly she sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. The water moved in tandem as Barrett rocked back and forth, tears streaming down her face.

  The shrill of her phone startled her. She rubbed her hands over her face and looked around, finally remembering she’d left it on the ledge behind her.

  “Barrett Taylor,” she said, after clearing her throat of any remaining emotion. She tensed as she listened to the voice on the other end. “I’ll be right there.”

  *

  Barrett ran down the hall, skidding to a stop in front of Kelly’s door. A nurse in a pressed white uniform hurried out from behind a desk piled high with charts and papers. A meal tray with remnants of someone’s dinner was balanced precariously on top of a nearby trashcan.

  “Ms. Taylor, I’m Peggy Stone. I’m the one who called you.”

  Barrett needed to get into Kelly’s room, and the last thing she wanted to do was chat with some nurse.

  “I have to talk to you before you go in,” she added, touching Barrett’s arm when she didn’t stop.

  Barrett forced herself to take a breath and try to control herself. “Thank you for calling me,” she said calmly, but still anxious to see Kelly.

  The nurse nodded. “She woke up disoriented. She panicked and started pulling out her IVs, which of course caused blood to stream out of her arm, which upset her even more.”

  Barrett nodded in turn. “Okay.”

  “We couldn’t get her to calm down. She was thrashing around and knocking over the equipment, and we were afraid she might hurt herself more than she already had.” The nurse paled.

  “What? What happened?” Barrett was fighting every urge to push the well-meaning nurse out of the way and see for herself.

  “We had to restrain her.”

  “You what? Don’t you have any idea what she’s been through?” Barrett clenched her teeth in anger. “She was a hostage for months, chained to a tree and tied up like an animal. For God’s sake, she must have gone out of her mind.”

  Barrett ran her hands through her hair, mussing it more than it already was. She ached for Kelly and what she must have gone through, what she was still going through. “Get out of my way.” She was almost growling.

  “She’s sedated right now. Dr.—”

  Barrett didn’t wait to hear what else the nurse was saying but stepped around her and pushed open the door.

  The light on the wall above Kelly’s bed was on, the sconce diffusing the otherwise harsh hospital-room light. Kelly was lying motionless on the bed, the sheets tucked neatly around her. Barrett froze when she saw the leather restraints around Kelly’s wrists and ankles.

  “Oh, Kelly,” she whispered, and forced her feet to move. She stopped at the side of the bed, resting her hand lightly on Kelly’s. It was cool, and in a moment of panic Barrett thought she was dead. The beep of the heart monitor seeped into her brain, reminding her that Kelly was simply sedated. If the shallow rise and fall of her chest was any indication, simply sedated was not the case.

  “Kelly. It’s Barrett. I’m here,” Barrett said, gently stroking Kelly’s hand. “I’m here now and I’m not leaving again.” The normal cadence of the heart monitor sputtered, and Barrett’s own heart skipped in tandem.

  “Kelly, it’s okay. You’re all right. You’re here in Panama and I’m right beside you. Just sleep a little longer and you’ll feel much better when you wake up.” The monitor slowly resumed the rhythmic beeps, but another, faster set was coming from the machine below it.

  Frowning, Barrett followed the leads from the machine, under the covers where they ended, taped to Kelly’s stomach. She didn’t know anything about pregnancy or babies, but from what she could deduce, it was monitoring the baby’s heartbeat. Barrett watched the yellow line peak and recede much faster than Kelly’s green one. She remembered hearing somewhere that a fetal heartbeat was almost twice the normal adult rate.

  “Your baby’s fine, Kelly. From what I can tell its heartbeat is strong, and since no alarm’s go
ing off, I think’s it’s okay. But what do I know? I barely know how to hold a baby, let alone what one’s supposed to be doing in their little incubator.”

  Knowing she didn’t have permission, Barrett still unbuckled the restraint holding Kelly’s left wrist to the bed. She slid it down Kelly’s hand and dropped it under the bed, the clinking of the metal buckle as it hit the floor reverberating in the room. She did the same with the other before sliding the chair closer to the bed and took Kelly’s hand in both of hers as she sat. She made herself as comfortable as she could, resting her forearms on the white sheets, and settled in for a long wait.

  Barrett turned when a shaft of light spilled into the room and across Kelly’s bed. It was a nurse she hadn’t seen before, and the seasoned veteran expression said Barrett was in for a battle to stay in Kelly’s room.

  “It’s against the rules for you to be here. Visiting hours are over,” the woman said, her tone echoing her words.

  “I was called a few hours ago.”

  “Yes. I’m aware of Miss Ryan’s episode.”

  Barrett could almost hear the tsk, tsk that this nurse was so obviously thinking.

  “Episode? You call it an episode? She woke up, didn’t know where she was, and her reaction after what she’s been through was perfectly normal.” Barrett knew the exact moment the nurse saw Kelly’s unrestrained wrists, and she grabbed the advantage.

  “Yes, I took them off. She does not need to be restrained. She’s sedated, prettily heavily if her vitals are any indication. She certainly isn’t going anywhere, and it’ll be hours before she opens her eyes.” Barrett refused to let this nurse or anyone else tie Kelly up again. They would have to restrain her first.

  “Doctor’s orders,” the nurse said, looking around the room for the restraints.

  Kelly’s heart monitor sputtered again, but the nurse, intent on finding the restraints, didn’t seem to notice. Kelly knew what was going on around her. Barrett had read that patients sedated or in a coma could sometimes hear. The calming of Kelly’s heartbeat earlier proved it.

  “Look, Nurse,” Barrett squinted to read the nametag pinned to the puke-green smock, “Samuels. I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to sit right here next to Kelly until she wakes up. And when she does, she’ll see a friendly face and not have another episode.” Barrett frowned. “Now you can either let us be, or you and at least three very big guys will have to throw me out of this hospital because I am not leaving her.”

  Nurse Samuels’ scowl deepened, but she didn’t say anything as she checked Kelly’s IV and then left the room.

  Barrett squeezed Kelly’s hand and the monitor slowed. She smiled. “That’s right, Kelly. She’s gone. You should have seen the sourpuss. By the mile-deep frown lines on her face, I don’t think she’s smiled in thirty years. But I told her, didn’t I? She’s all bark. She reminds me of Nurse Ratched in that movie with Jack Nicholson. You know, One Flew Over the Cockoo’s Nest. She’s probably scared to death of me now and telling all the other nurses there’s a crazy woman in room 722.” Barrett chuckled. “I’m okay with that. Whatever it takes.”

  Barrett thought she felt Kelly squeeze her hand but wasn’t sure. It was probably wishful thinking. But then again…“I know you’re scared. So many things have changed in the time you were gone. And you’ve changed more than anything. I know I did. Actually, it took me awhile to figure that out. I thought I could step back into my life like it was the day I was taken.” And had she ever tried.

  Barrett had been anxious to get back to work and had showed up at the office her second day back in the States.

  The reaction on everyone’s face told her that they didn’t expect her. The receptionist was new and almost didn’t let her past the double doors into her office. Georgia, the woman from the marketing department who occupied the first cube behind the doors, did a double-take as Barrett walked by, then hurriedly picked up her phone. Debra choked on her coffee when she stuck her head into her office to say hello.

  “Shit!” she exclaimed, coughing a mouthful of coffee onto the papers on her desk in front of her. “Barrett, what are you doing here?” She busily mopped up the liquid.

  Barrett was slightly annoyed. Why wouldn’t they expect her? It was her company. Did they think she’d never come back? She’d been gone long enough. God only knew what shape they were in financially and what ruffled feathers she was going to have to smooth over with their customers.

  Debra came around her desk and wrapped her in a bear hug. Barrett tried not to stiffen in response. Since her capture she flinched every time someone touched her and hated crowds even more than usual. Great attributes to have as a CEO of a major technology company.

  “Are you sure you should be back so soon? Why don’t you take some time, relax, get back into the groove of things slowly,” Debra said after Barrett pried herself out of her welcoming hug.

  “I’ve had plenty of time. I spent the last seven months doing nothing but stare at the dirt under my butt. I’m bored to death, and I have to get back to the job.”

  “But—”

  “But nothing,” Barrett said sharply. She softened her tone. “I know you’re worried about me, but there’s no need. I’m fine, and I’m ready to work again. Now, is my office in the same place, or did you turn it into a yoga room while I was gone?”

  When she finished telling Kelly about her first day at work, her back ached and her right foot was numb. She’d exaggerated some parts, glossed over one or two, and completely lied about others. She wanted Kelly to stay calm, and telling her exactly what had happened that first day absolutely would not do it.

  Barrett stood, put her hands on the lower part of her back, and arched backward. She stifled a groan as she bent at her waist for ten seconds to the left and right, repeating the movement a few times. The beeping of the fetal monitor sped up in unison with Kelly’s.

  “Hey, it’s okay, Kelly,” Barrett said, moving to the other side of the bed. “I’m still here. Just had to stretch a little and my foot went to sleep.” She ran her hand up and down Kelly’s forearm several times. “Remember that time when we had to sit for hours, and after we got up I fell flat on my face? Same situation, but this time I held on to the back of the chair so I wouldn’t repeat that little swan dive. This time I probably would have cracked my head open instead of almost drowning in that puddle of mud.” By the time she’d finished her reminiscing, the two heartbeats slowed.

  Tears filled Barrett’s eyes when she looked at the scars on Kelly’s wrists. They were red and ugly, and calluses had formed in some places. Her stomach clenched at what Kelly had gone through. She’d been in the brutal custody of The Colonel long before Barrett had arrived, and Kelly and the others must have suffered immensely because of her escape.

  Barrett was destined to feel guilt every time she thought of Kelly and the others. At times guilt and shame overwhelmed her so fully she found it hard just to look at Kelly. Not only had she been rescued and the others had not, but they’d been punished because she got away. It was almost like Barrett had two strikes against her.

  Three strikes and I’m out. But out of what? Barrett didn’t know.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kelly struggled to reach the surface. She didn’t know where she was but instinctively knew she had to get to the top, break through whatever was holding her. With one last push of effort she opened her eyes.

  The Styrofoam tiles in the ceiling were chipped and dingy white. Panic struck her when she realized where she was and what had happened last night. At least she thought it was last night. Her eyes darted around and fell on Barrett sitting in a chair beside the bed, her head back, eyes closed. She looked anything but peaceful. A frown creased her forehead and her lips were tight. Barrett obviously wasn’t dreaming of something pleasant. Kelly shifted a little and Barrett’s eyes shot open, concern replacing the frown.

  “Hey,” Barrett said, standing close to the bed. Barrett laid a hand on her forehead. “How are you feeling?”r />
  “A little groggy.” She noticed for the first time that Barrett’s other hand was holding hers. She liked the strong and calming feeling it provided.

  “What happened?” Bits and pieces of the events of last night bounced in and out of her mind like a bad flashback. She couldn’t quite get a grip on what had actually happened.

  “You woke up and were disoriented. You, uh…”

  Barrett’s eyes looked everywhere other than at her. The Barrett she knew never had any trouble looking anyone in the eye and had been punished for it on more than one occasion in the camp.

  “What is it, Barrett? What happened?” Kelly felt stronger, her head clearing with each passing minute.

  “From what they tell me, you must have been having a flashback of some kind. You were lashing out and fighting everyone who was trying to help you.”

  “I didn’t hurt anyone, did I?” She’d feel terrible if she had.

  “No, but they had to restrain you and…well, they had to sedate you after that.” Barrett spoke almost as if she’d done it.

  Kelly looked down at her hands and feet. “Who took them off?”

  “I did.” This time Barrett looked her directly in the eye, her voice strong.

  “Why?”

  “Because you didn’t need them anymore.” Kelly detected something else behind Barrett’s statement but didn’t feel up to pushing the subject right now.

  “Thanks.” Kelly thought that one word sounded lame, but it was all she was capable of. She looked at the bouncing green and yellow lines on the machines next to her bed.

  “I think it’s the baby’s,” Barrett said. “It’s hooked up to your stomach with those sticky things.”

  Kelly could only stare at the yellow line as it bounced across the little screen. My baby. That’s my baby’s heartbeat. A sense of wonder filled Kelly at the same time tears burned the back of her eyes.