by Kara Summers
She watched me closely for a long moment and sighed, finally wrapping her arms around me. “It’s okay,” she murmured. “You did not do anything wrong. Sometimes those types of feelings and urges are hard to ignore.”
“I just thought that there was actually something between us. He made me feel good. I know I wasn’t there for long, but there was a spark. I know it’s stupid. I can’t explain it, but he made me smile and laugh.”
I had all but given up on love for myself. I was starting to believe my nanny’s words. Maybe boys really didn’t want girls like me. Maybe boys wanted girls with pretty curls and delicate hands. No one wanted a girl with a brain and blood stains on her dress. I’d understood this from an early age, but it did not bother me until now. It did not bother me because I’d never met a man with giving up everything else for.
Ivana seemed at a loss and just wrapped her arms around me, kissing my temple gently. She rocked me back and forth, sighing. “It’s going to be okay. You do not need him,” she whispered.
I nodded and gripped her arm, smiling weakly. “I have you right?”
“You’ll always have me.”
Chapter Thirteen
The days went on and I heard nothing from Jasper’s estate. When I came back to the city, I tried my best to forget him. I tried to wipe him from my brain and ignore the way my soul and my body ached for him. I wasn’t one to believe in senseless romance, but this had seemed like fate. A part of me wondered if I should not go back and try to mend our fleeting relationship. Every time I nearly talked myself into it, a voice would pipe up and tell me not to. My pride was winning the battle against my heart.
Instead of confronting my feelings, I buried myself in work, doing my best to ignore the way his laughter was stuck in my mind. I still refused to say I was in love, though I could handle admitting I was at least smitten with him. I wanted to fall in love with him desperately, though I did not think I was ever going to get the chance.
Months passed and I heard no word from him. I took his silence as a cue that I should forget whatever had been between us and move on. I was trying my best to do just that but every time I would have a moment of peace and quiet, my mind would wander right back to him.
I was having one of those very moments, reading through a few documents, when a clap of thunder crashed overhead. I cursed softly under my breath and shook my head, disappointed in myself for getting frightened by the thunder. My mind was wandering and making me irrational.
The rain was really coming down and I could hear it slamming into the side of my office. The trees outside were swaying back and forth to the point of nearly snapping in two. It looked like hell was coming down out there.
I frowned a little and sighed, starting to blow out candles. Ivana had gone home a bit early so she would not get caught in the storm and I was more than a little glad that I’d made that executive decision. I would not have wanted her to get stuck in this. It was dangerous.
The shutters were starting to bang against the side of the building and it made me wince every time. I signed the last bit of my paperwork and stood from the desk, going around and closing the shutters one by one. At the last window, I noticed someone standing in the distance. They were wrapped in a dark cloak so it was hard to see them, but it was clearly a person moving through the storm.
I gasped and ran to the door, grabbing my own cloak and throwing it over my shoulders. Bits of buildings were starting to fly off and I was afraid the traveling stranger might get hit with tin and wood. As I ran forward it became apparent the person wrapped in the cloak was a man.
Once I got close enough for him to hear me, I called out to him. “HELLO!”
He looked up at the sound of my voice and my heart nearly stopped. Standing in front of me was a painfully familiar face.
“Jasper?”
“I needed to see you.”
Why in the world had he come all this way?! He could have summoned me with a letter. And why was he walking? I had plenty of questions, but those could be asked later. I grabbed him and pulled him toward the office. When we were finally inside I slammed the door closed and spun around to look at him.
“Are you insane?” I asked him. “It’s the worst storm I’ve ever seen out there. Why are you walking around in it?”
He closed what little space there was between us, and pressed a firm kiss to my lips. For a moment I just melted into that kiss, whimpering softly, my fingers curling in his soaked shirt. When I came back to my senses I pushed him away, eyes wide with shock.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I whispered, my hands and lips shaking.
“I needed to see you,” he repeated.
“You could have sent a letter or a telegram!”
“I mailed you so many letters after you left, but you never responded.”
My brows furrowed. “I didn’t get any letters.”
“I must have sent you ten! When you did not respond I figured that whatever we had was too broken to mend. I tried to accept it, but I could not. I just could accept that that was how this was going to turn out. I had to see you in person,” he said, reaching out and taking my hand.
I looked at his hand tangled in mine and my heart began to beat faster. I’d hoped for this. I’d dreamed of this, and now that it was finally happening, I did not know what to do. I was still hurt by his words the morning I’d left his home, but I couldn’t let him go again.
“I made a horrible mistake, I should not have said those things,” he said firmly.
“Then why did you?” My voice was far weaker than I would have liked it to be.
He just shook his head slowly. “Because I’m an idiot.”
The admission forced a strangled laugh from me as I was desperately trying to contain the emotions that were bubbling up to the surface. Jasper must have sensed my nervous energy. He reached out and cupped my cheek, turning my gaze back toward him so that our eyes met.
“I made a mistake,” he admitted again. “When I’m with you, I feel things I’ve never felt before and it frightened me. I’ve never had such deep feelings for anyone before in my life,” he said, stroking my hair. “I was afraid to feel those things because I was afraid of being hurt. I’ve loved before and I thought it made me weak. She used me and she made me feel like I was worthless. I was afraid of feeling like that again.”
My face softened and I reached out to touch his cheek. “Oh Jasper, I would never-”
He put his hand over mine and closed his eyes, nodding. “I know. It was my fault. It was my fault for even daring to think that you might be anything like that devil woman. That’s why I knew I had to come here.”
I smiled weakly. “You should not have come out in the storm. And why in the world where you walking?”
“The thunder scared my horse. He knocked me off and galloped away,” he murmured, turning around to show me his bloody shoulder.
I gasped and took his hand, guiding him to the lounge where my clients waited to see me. He settled on a chaise as I fetched everything I’d need to patch him up. I wasn’t a doctor by any means, but you could not get very far in my field without at least a little bit of medical training. I went to work on his shoulder, cleaning the wounds carefully and covering them with a bandage.
Once I was done mending him, I allowed myself to take in his perfect form. A part of me felt embarrassed at the feelings that welled up inside of me. My cheeks burned and I reached out to touch his firm chest. He was so warm and so solid. It made me want to beg him to hold me.
He turned and looked at me, brows furrowed in worry. “Are you alright?”
I nodded silently and put my hand to his cheek, pulling him close and kissing him gently. Perhaps I was being foolish, but I did not really care. I believed every word he said. Why else would he be so desperate to get to me? The silent bond between us was too strong to ignore.
He turned and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into another kiss. My body came alive and my eyes fluttered open and as I
gazed into his. I somehow knew that he was the only man I’d ever need or want. I hated to admit it, but I was in love.
I opened my mouth to say something profound about the realization that I’d just come to, but only a single word left my lips.
“Jasper.”
He put his hand over mind and I felt so small. The world had always been so cruel to me because of who I was. I wasn’t the type of woman who would bend to anyone’s will, especially a man’s, but I turned to jelly in his hands. He wrapped his free arm around me and held me close. There were tears in my eyes as I ran my fingers through his hair. I’d been afraid that I’d never see him again or that I’d never touch him again, but here he was, right where he belonged.
“I’m sorry. What I said was stupid,” he murmured, looking up at me.
I smiled weakly and kissed his forehead. “It’s true, though. You could have any woman you wanted.”
“I don’t want any woman. I want you.”
My heart fluttered and I laughed a little, trying to hid the emotion on my voice. “Maybe I’ll consider taking you back.”
He took my hand from his cheek and brought it to his lips. “I would be the luckiest man in the world if you did.”
It was those lines that got me every time. I was completely helpless against his smooth tongue and those puppy dog eyes. He knew how to draw me in without a fight. I put my head on his chest, laying out on the chaise. It felt good to be like this. Maybe I could forget murder and mayhem for a while and just be happy. My job involved me confronting the worst people in the world and dealing with the things they did. It made it hard to sleep at night, but at the end of the day I knew that it was what I was meant to do. No matter how hard it became, this was what I was meant to do and I was going to continue bringing justice to the world until I took my last breath.
I reached up and put a hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath my fingertips. “Jasper?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t ever leave?”
“You have my word,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.
Chapter Fourteen
Over the next few days, I gave Ivana some time off and I took some time as well. Jasper and I spoke about what was to happen next, and he told me that he wanted me to come back home with him. There was still the issue of his nanny’s death and when I brought it up he seemed pained over it, but told me that he would not expect me to investigate. He knew that too much time had passed. I’d started to make some headway on the investigation, but I had been left with a set of prints that did not match any of the samples that I’d taken.
Despite the fact that Jasper told me not to worry about the investigation, I started to pack up the equipment I would need to continue searching for her killer. Despite everything that happened, I could not stop thinking of the person who’d broken into my room that night. The more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a woman. I knew that the investigation would not be my main reason for going back with Jasper, but it could not hurt to work on it while I was there.
I was packing up a few of my things when Ivana came into the office. I’d told her to stay home, but it was clear that she was getting more than a little antsy. She was the type of person who needed to stay busy all the time. She stopped dead in her tracks when she entered the office and saw me packing up a few things.
“What’s going on?” she asked, her brow furrowed.
I stood up and smiled softly. “Oh, Ivana. I’m glad you came in. I wanted to talk to you.”
“About what?” she asked hesitantly.
“Well, Jasper came to see me.”
She stiffened and looked away. “Well, what did he want?”
“He wanted to explain everything to me and apologize for the way he acted,” I said, packing a few specialized tools into a box.
“And you believe him?”
I glanced up at her and sighed. “Well, I do not think he’d ask me to come live with him if he did not mean it.”
“What?” she gasped, running forward and grabbing my wrist. “You’re leaving the city for him? You’re going to just leave me here and forget about this agency?” she said, sounding panicked.
I put a hand on her shoulder and smiled gently. “Of course not. I’ll still have to come into the city to handle business, but I know you can run the office while I’m not here. Jasper is even going to send someone here to teach you to send telegrams so we can communicate faster,” I explained, smiling gently.
Tears came to her eyes and she just stared at me helplessly. “No! It can’t be like that! We work together, we’re partners.”
I sighed and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m not abandoning you,” I said gently, pushing her away and looking her in the eyes. “I promise you that. I am not leaving you in the dust. We’re still partners. I still want you to be a part of this business and a part of my life. I’m not kicking you out. In fact, if you want, you can move into my loft.”
“Because you won’t be there anymore,” she said softly.
I frowned and sighed. “I need to do this, Ivana. I care about him and I need to know what else there is for us. I want to know him completely.”
I was babbling now and her face just kept falling, becoming more and more pained with every word that left my lips.
“You said he was a mistake,” she reminded me.
“I wasn’t thinking clearly and I did not understand everything,” I told her.
She opened her mouth to speak but the door opened and Jasper came through it, a group of young men behind him. He glanced between Ivana and me, frowning. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine. Right, Ivana?”
She turned her head to look at Jasper, her eyes burning into him. There was a deep hatred in her gaze that confused me and frightened me all at the same time. I could not understand it.
“Right. Everything is just fine,” she murmured, pushing past Jasper and the boys as she left.
Jasper glanced at me, eyebrow cocked questioningly. I sighed and shook my head. “Do not worry about it.”
“She seemed upset.”
“She is,” I said.
“Why?”
“She thinks that everything is going to change. I think she’s afraid of losing her job,” I explained.
He nodded and pulled me close, brows furrowed as he watched her go. “You sure everything is alright?”
“Positive. Who are these men?”
“They’re going to help get your equipment down the carriage,” he said, offering me a kiss.
I was thankful for the help. A lot of my equipment was going to end up in Jasper’s house if this was really going to happen. I was hesitant to pack up everything because a part of me was still afraid this wasn’t real. There was a very loud voice in the back of my head telling me I was being tricked. There was fear tucked underneath all of my adoration and the desire to be in love. I could hear my nanny’s voice loud and clear.
‘Men do not fall in love with girls like you.’
Chapter Fifteen
Despite all the fear and anxiety, I was excited to go back to the mansion. I was excited to start a life with Jasper. Many would have frowned on our cohabitation since we weren’t married, but that did not bother us at all. Jasper was powerful and wealthy enough that not many people wanted to risk getting on his bad side. Most people just moved along without giving us so much as a second glance.
The workers in the house accepted me with ease and some of the younger women even became interested in the work I did. I was happy to share my knowledge with them, offering them insights into how the technology I worked with functioned.
As promised, Jasper sent a man to teach Ivana how to send telegrams and Jasper himself taught me. Learning to use the telegram was one of the most amazing things in the world to me. It made working between two places much easier.
I still saw Ivana multiple times a week since I still had to go into town to investigate crimes. She was warming up to me again,
but there was still a certain amount of strain in our relationship. She was not happy with me in the least. She tried to convince me to come back to the city to live, but I was far too happy with Jasper.
One day, he’d convinced me not to work, and while it was hard for me to pull myself away from my desk, I was happy to do it for him. I wanted to spend as much time with Jasper as possible. The weeks that passed since I’d moved back into the house had showed me that he truly was the one for me. I knew I loved him, though I was far too stubborn to say that aloud.
We were walking through the massive gardens and I could not help but smile a little. This was the first place we’d kissed. I leaned into him, our fingers tangled together. He glanced down and smiled.
“What are you thinking?” he asked.
“How things just fell into place so perfectly,” I whispered, closing my eyes and looking up at him. “I never imagined I could be this happy.”
He reached down and tucked some hair behind my ear. “Neither did I. I thought I was done with love after Josephine.”
Jasper did not talk much of the woman who’d broken his heart and I did not really mind that. I did not want to hear about her. All I wanted was for Jasper to feel loved and safe and I hoped he felt that with me. When I thought of all the possible thigs that woman could have done to him, I felt anger flare in my chest, but I ignored it. I hated that he’d had to hurt so bad, but I was happy that I was able to be the one to make him smile now.
He stopped near a rose bush and smiled, reaching out and plucking a flower from it. He tucked it into my hair and cupped my cheeks, smiling down at me. “My lovely Irish rose,” he whispered, kissing my forehead.
My heart fluttered excitedly and I nearly melted into him. The sun was kissing our skin and the birds were singing around us. In this moment I felt like the luckiest woman in the world. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my head to his chest, listening to his heart beat.