by Kara Summers
Jared never asked me about Richard, though I didn’t mind. Richard’s death was still a sore spot and I didn’t handle talking about it well. I missed him terribly and whenever I thought about him too long, I’d burst into tears. I missed my home and I missed Richard, but when Jared wrapped his arms around me and held me close all of that pain disappeared for just that moment. The pain of losing everything I’d once known would not ever go away, but I knew it would get easier with time.
The rest of the town accepted me with open arms and Rebecca became a good friend. She was a kind woman with a big heart and a loving spirit. I learned that she had come here as a mail order bride as well, though she wasn’t married before all of this began. She’d been looking for adventure and boy did she find it.
There were a few local women who didn’t care for me because Jared had taken a liking to me. They were jealous that they’d been chasing him all these years and had nothing to show for it. I’d shown up and swept him out from under their feet without even trying. While they seemed concerned about him, I knew it wasn’t warranted. Jared and I had an amicable relationship, but that was the extent of it.
Some days he looked at me with something akin to desire but I brushed it off. Maybe it was impossible for a man and a woman to live together without feeling something for one another. I wasn’t sure, but I ignored it for now, not wanting to get my hopes up. If I was forced to be honest, I would have said that I cared for him but that was just too much of a risk. He could have had any woman in town. Why would he choose me, a widow with a child?
Even though I was sure he would pass me off the first chance he got, I could not help but hope things would stay this way and I enjoyed the time spent together. Gabriel was even happier. He didn’t cry as often now that he had a father figure again.
Things seemed like they were finally falling into place.
Chapter Six
Neither myself nor Jared were actively looking for a husband for me. I didn’t want to leave his home and Jared seemed to enjoy having home-cooked meals every night. A part of me even though that as long as I cooked, he would not send me away to live with another man.
I was scared of the type of husband I might get saddled with if I left the safety of Jared’s home. I’d learned quickly that not all the men in the West were as kind as Jared. Most of them were vile and cruel. They spit and cursed and even hit their wives. The idea that I might end up forced to marry someone like that made my skin crawl. I could not possibly end up with someone so cruel, could I?
Jared seemed to understand this fear so he never pushed me to find a new husband. He allowed me to stay in the safety of his home with an open-ended welcome. When the topic came up among friends he would simply say that it was hard to find a husband for a woman who already had a baby. He wasn’t wrong either. The few men who’d come forward as possible husbands seemed completely put off by the idea of raising another man’s child.
We were walking through the small market one afternoon and I was humming to myself, Gabriel settled in a sling that laid across my body. He was giggling and shaking a toy that made rattling sounds that we’d bought from native traders. He absolutely adored the thing and I liked that it kept him content and quiet.
Jared had run off to find the blacksmith. We needed new shoes put on the horse and with only one blacksmith in town, he was often backed up with orders. We always needed to talk to him almost a month in advance.
I stopped at a fruit stall and ran my hands over some beautifully ripe apples, surprised at how my mouth watered. Winter had been harsh and few crops managed to grow during the coldest months. Now that the snow was melting, fruit was starting to appear on the trees again and in the market. I filled my basket with ripe fruits and vegetables, chatting with the woman who ran the stall.
“Thank you so much! I’ll be sure to stop by and buy some more!” I told her as I paid for my purchases.
I turned to walk away and nearly ran right into a tall, burly man who stood almost a foot above me. He was abnormally large and his hands and face were scarred. When I met his dull, grey eyes I felt fear run down my spine. I didn’t know why, but my body was screaming for me to run. I swallowed thickly and stared up at him for a moment before dropping my gaze and starting to move around him.
“So sorry, Sir.” I murmured.
As I started to move past him he reached out and grabbed my arm. I gasped and put my arm around Gabriel in an attempt to protect him since I was suddenly feeling threatened.
“What are you doing?! Let me go!” I shouted.
He looked down at me, his cloudy eyes focusing on my face. “You’re the woman they’re trying to find a husband for,” he murmured, staring at me.
For a moment, terror ran through me. How did he know that? How did he know who I was? Then it hit me; the city kept a list of women looking for husbands in the court house. Anyone had access to them. He must have seen my tin type and information.
“Yes, I am, but I-” I stammered.
“What? You think you’re too good for me?” he growled, yanking me closer.
I screamed and tried to scramble away. The woman who ran the stand had already jumped up and I prayed she was going for help. I tried to squirm out of the man’s grasp but he had a tight hold on me. He yanked me close and stared at me, his nostrils flaring.
I was seconds from trying to claw his face when Jared ran over, his hand on his gun. “Excuse me. What do you think you’re doing?” he asked in his most authoritative tone.
The man who had a hold of me, held me fast and clearly wasn’t going to let go without a fight. His eyes narrowed and he stared at Jared for a long moment. “This is the woman looking for a husband. I’m here to claim her.”
Jared pulled his gun, making sure the other man saw that it was cocked and ready to go. “I don’t know where you’re from, Sir, but around here we don’t claim women. We let them choose their husbands.”
The man snorted but released me. I ran over to Jared, eyes wide as I pressed myself against his chest, panting hard as tears threatened to roll down my cheeks. Jared put one arm around me, staring the taller man down.
“You think that’s how the natural world works, Sheriff? You start letting women pick their husbands and things will run amok.”
I turned to look at the man, my heart slamming in my chest. “You only think that way because no woman would ever marry a brute like you!” I said, feeling bold while in Jarod’s protective grasp.
His eyes narrowed and he took a step towards me. “You little-“
Jared raised his gun, stopping the man dead in his tracks. “Not another step,” He said, his voice low and threatening.
“What are you going to do Sherriff? Shoot me?” the man challenged.
“I might. I’m the law here. Judge and jury,” he growled, still holding me tight.
The man set his jaw and pressed his lips in a thin line. “She’s fair game! You cannot put women on the list of unclaimed and then shoot a man down for trying to get her attention.”
“She’s already spoken for. Now move along,” Jared advised.
My eyes widened and I looked up at Jared. The tall man walked away, grunting as he moved through the street, nudging people out of the way.
“Jared, why did you lie to him?” I asked, looking up. “We didn’t have to lie.”
“It wasn’t a lie,” he murmured, pulling me closer.
My breath hitched in my throat and I stared up at him. “You mean-?”
“I want you to be mine.”
Chapter Seven
I was in a stunned silence the rest of the ride home. My eyes were wide and my heart was pounding as I tried to understand what I'd just heard. Jared had just told me he wanted me to be his wife. It wasn't exactly an affirmation of love, but it was enough for me.
Jared was silent for the ride home as well. I could practically hear the wheels grinding in his mind. He was trying to come up with an explanation too. Gabe slept between us, unaware of the life a
ltering words that had just been uttered.
We made it back to the cabin just as night began to fall. Thunder clapped overhead and Jared led us into the cabin, holding the door. He hung his hat on the hook and turned to look at me a moment. He cleared his throat and sighed.
"It's late, we ought to get to bed."
I looked at him, my brows furrowed. Were we really just going to ignore what happened? The uncertainty on Jared’s perfect face spoke volumes to what was going through his mind. I knew I could not just bring it up so I walked over to him and took his hand.
"The storms frighten me. Will you come lay with us?" I asked, motioning towards the bedroom.
It was a lie and he knew it, but he didn't call me out. He just smiled and nodded.
I left him in the living room long enough to get dressed in my night shift. Once I was ready for bed, I opened the door and crawled under the blankets, peeking out at him from the mess of covers. My eyes were wide and my lips were shaking, though I put a smile on anyway.
He slid beneath the blankets and leaned up against the headboard, glancing over at me and sighing. “You’re something else, you know that?” he said with a soft smile.
I ran my fingers through my hair, chewing on my lip a little as I looked up at him and then away. He was so beautiful, it made my heart ache. I ran my fingers through my hair again and sighed softly. I finally looked over at him. “I don’t know what you mean by ‘you’re something else’. I’m just me,” I said quietly.
He laughed and put his hand to his forehead, shaking his head back and forth. “That’s exactly what I mean. You’re so incredible and you don’t even realize it.”
I blushed a little and sighed. “Are we going to just ignore what you said in the market? About me being spoken for?” I asked, tucking some hair behind my ear.
He glanced over at me and smiled. “Well, I wasn’t planning on ignoring it.”
“I just, I’m having a hard time understanding,” I admitted, toying with the quilt.
He paused before reaching out and pressing a hand to my cheek. “I want to marry you, Mary. I’ve been thinking on it for a long time and I wish I could have done this right, but-” he reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a simple silver ring, holding it up for a moment. “Will you marry me? Will you be mine?”
“This is so sudden,” I whispered. “I never even knew you had these feelings for me and now, you’re handing me a ring.”
He set his jaw for a moment and tucked the ring back into his shirt pocket, taking a deep breath. “Right, I’m sorry,” he murmured, closing his eyes and looking away.
I reached out and took his hand, smiling. “Sudden doesn’t mean bad,” I said softly. I looked down at his hand and ran my thumb over his knuckles for a moment. I took a deep breath, deciding I wanted to tell him about Richard. “I was married once before. I know you know that,” I said, motioning towards my baby. “His name was Richard and he was killed in the war. I was left alone and the state ran me out of my own home. I had nowhere to go so I came out here. I came out here because I thought God had abandoned me. I thought I was alone in this world and it was the only chance I had. Now I see that I came here to find you. I prayed and prayed for an answer to my problems and I found them. But that’s not all, I found so much more, Jared. I found adoration and romance; I found more than I ever could have hoped for.”
His eyes widened just a little as I spoke. “You’re so wonderful and I’d be a fool to say no,” I whispered.
I looked down at my ring-less hand and tears came to my eyes. I’d sold the wedding ring Richard gave me when times had become desperate. I knew he’d understand, so I tried to not beat myself up about it, but it was hard to not feel that weight on my hand.
As Jared slipped his ring on my finger, I knew I was finally being forgiven. Richard would have wanted me to move on and find happiness, and I could not have picked a better man to do either of those things with. Jared was a Godsend.
He pulled my close and held me tight. I melted into him, pressing my face into the crook of his neck and doing my best not to cry. I didn’t want to ruin this moment with tears. He held me close and I breathed against his neck. After a few moments he pulled away slowly, looking down at me with those beautiful eyes. He cupped my cheek and smiled, leaning down and pressing our foreheads together.
“My fiancé,” he whispered.
I finally fell apart. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I threw my arms around him and kissed him hard, not willing to let him go. As our lips crashed together he fell on top of me, hands on either side of my head as he returned the kiss. I held him there until the urge to breathe was too great to ignore. When I finally parted from his lips I looked up at him with wide eyes, my heart in my throat. Thunder clapped above us and he smiled, slowly lowering himself onto the bed beside me.
Neither of us said anything because we didn’t need to; words would only ruin the moment. He pulled me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. I leaned against him and sighed softly, my eyes fluttering closed as I wrapped my arms around him. This was right, this felt good. I felt safe in his arms and for the first time since Richard left I felt a weight lifted off my heart. I felt like it was okay to love again.
But most of all, I felt hope.
Chapter Eight
My first wedding had been simple and I wanted the same for my second, though the local townspeople didn’t really seem on board for a simple wedding. Jared was beloved in this town and everyone had been waiting for him to find a woman to marry. Now that he had, they wanted to make sure he had the most amazing wedding possible.
It was nice to see everyone accepting me with open arms, since I’d been secretly afraid the engagement would backfire. I’d been so terrified of it that I begged Jared to keep everything quiet for a while. When I told him he looked at me with a surprised expression and cocked his head to one side.
“Why in the world would you be nervous?”
I chewed in my lip and rubbed the back of my neck. “Don’t you realize how many women in this town are pining after you?” I’d asked.
He just smiled and tugged me close, kissing my cheek. “Does it matter? I chose you.”
I smiled at the kiss and turned, putting a hand on his chest. “I know, I know. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t women in town who want my head on a plate.”
“Why in the world-“
“You’re such a smart man, but you’re so dense,” I sighed. “They’re jealous. They wanted you, but you chose me.”
“You’re worrying too much.”
I’d doubted him at first, but now that the whole town knew, I was much more relaxed. No one had tried to steal him from me yet, so I figured I was doing alright. Things were falling into place and I could not have been happier about it.
Jared had been away for the last day or so, handling some men who’d been stealing local cattle. This didn’t happen often, but he did have to leave me for longer than a few hours occasionally. His job required so much of him, so I never got onto him about being away. He had a tough job and I understood that. The last thing I wanted to do was nag him.
I hummed softly as I walked into the cabin, nudging the door open with my hip. As I walked inside I noticed that the back door was open. It was a curious thing to see, but not unexplainable. It was spring and the winds were picking up. Sometimes they were strong enough to make the glass in the windows rattle and push open the door if it wasn’t properly latched. I set Gabriel down in his crib and wandered over to the door, closing it and making sure to latch it. I didn’t want any wild animals getting into my house; it was a secret fear of mine that a fox or coyote might make off with Gabriel.
Once the door was secured I turned to grab the basket of food I’d gotten from the market, and when I did I realized I wasn’t alone. The brutish man from the market weeks before stood in the doorway of the kitchen, his frame taking up most of the space.
My blood ran cold and I whimpered, taking a step back. The ma
n just grinned at me and took a step forward, keeping me close. My eyes widened and I turned to run to Gabriel’s crib but I wasn’t quick enough. The man’s hand shot out and grabbed me by the shoulder, yanking me back. I screamed and closed my eyes, turning to dig my nails into his arm.
The retaliation did nothing and he just pulled me closer, lifting me off the ground with ease. Pain burned in my shoulder and tears came to my eyes as I tried desperately to scramble away. Soon my feet were off the ground and there was nothing I could do but scream and kick wildly.
He slapped a hand over my mouth, effectively silencing me as he stared down at me, his eyes narrowed. “You think you can run?” he whispered. “You think you’d get away from me? I’m not going to let that Sheriff make a fool of me. I’ll show him how things are done,” he growled, starting to drag me towards the front door.
Gabriel was screaming his crib, standing up on shaky legs and crying for me. I struggled as hard as I could, but it was no use. He just dragged me through the house and across the yard to a waiting horse. My mind was racing as I realized he planned to take me away and force me to be his wife. My eyes widened at the thought and I pulled against the ropes he began to tie around my wrists. His arm came close to my mouth and I turned my head, sinking my teeth into the tender flesh. He screamed and shoved me away. I stumbled and hit the ground, scrambling to get to my feet.
I ran back towards the house but he managed to grab my long, beautiful curls and pull me back, dragging me toward the horse again. My heart was pounding and I could hear him cursing softly as he started to pull me onto the horse. He tied my wrists to the reigns and I let out a desperate sob.
“We cannot leave my baby! He’ll die! Have you no heart?” I screamed, struggling against the restraints.
“Shut your mouth. I’m not caring for another man’s child,” he smirked and ran his fingers along my cheek. “We’ll have our own child soon enough.”