“Yea, it will, but nothing worth having comes easy.”
“Well, I can see you getting everything you want.”
“You make it sound like the world is at my feet.” He said it exactly right. Alex was facing me and looking in my eyes like I was the most important thing in the world. I felt kind of uncomfortable, but I smiled trying to hide it. He continued, “Angela, we’re always talking about me and what’s going on in my life, but you rarely have anything to say about yourself.”
“That’s because my life isn’t as interesting as yours.”
“My life is alright, but what about you? You have two sisters, right? I’ve met Andrea. She works at the clinic in town. And what’s your other sister’s name?”
“Olivia.” I answered.
“She graduated with my brother, Josh, this year.”
“Yes, she did.”
“What was she ranked in her graduating class?”
I answered, “I don’t know.” Honestly, I didn’t know what he meant. I didn’t want to ask what he meant because I feared I’d sound like an idiot.
“Josh was like number 49 or something. Is Olivia going to college?”
I was hoping he didn’t notice that I really didn’t want to talk about Olivia, but Alex was being nice to me. So, I answered him, “Yea, she plans on attending school…college, I mean.”
“Which school is she going to?”
I realized right then I had no idea. I simply shrugged my shoulders as an answer.
“You don’t know which university or college she’s going to?”
I cleared my throat feeling kind of embarrassed not knowing more about my sister. But that’s the way it was, and I couldn’t change it. I said, “Alex, I know you and your family are close, but my family is not like that.”
He asked. “Why?”
I’ve never had a guy be interested in my pathetic life. I didn’t say a word right away. I was debating rather to tell him, but I decided it wouldn’t really hurt. I mean, this is the first guy I have ever been around that cared about my life. That truly meant a lot to me. I answered, “My mom died.”
“Oh, I had no idea. I’m sorry about that.” He continued, “With your mom gone, I bet it’s been real tough on all of you.”
“It’s been tough for a long time. She died of cancer after I completed the 10th grade. Andrea tried her best to take care of us, but eventually, with my mom not being around, it got worse. My mom was the calming effect in that house. She kept us all on point, kept us sane.”
“I remember you missed some games during school. You were out because of your mom.”
“Yep, that’s the exact reason. She was in the last stages of cancer back then.”
“So, what makes your relationship with your sisters so bad now?” Alex was still facing me, listening. I really liked that about him.
“Andrea isn’t the same person she used to be. That’s why it’s so bad. She’s changed for the worse. The things she does now it’s destroying her. It’s already destroyed my family, and she doesn’t care.”
“She has to care deep down inside. How has she changed?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to tell him the details of Andrea’s problems. I didn’t know him that well, and it was truly embarrassing.
“I apologize for prying. I’m only trying to get to know you and your family, trying to figure out what your life is like.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re the first guy who has ever sat down with me and talked to me like this, about my family’s life, and I appreciate that. But I can’t tell you everything. Some things are not meant to be spoken, and the problems in my family are some of those things.”
He nodded and said, “I can respect that.”
I don’t know how long we were out there talking, but the sun was long set. The night was cooling down. Eventually, Alex took me back to my car. I didn’t want to go. I wanted to stay with him.
We sat in the darkness of his truck. The music from the radio was softly playing. I didn’t want to get out. I was trying to come up with a question or a comment, nothing. We were just stealing glances at one another, smiling each time we made eye contact.
He asked, “Is something wrong?”
“No,” I answered. “Thanks for the cheese pie. I mean cheesecake. It was really good.”
“You’re welcome. Maybe, next time we go out, I’ll surprise you with another kind of pie.”
I laughed. “Why do you like pies so much?”
“Why not like pie?”
I shook my head. “Good night, Alex.”
“Wait a minute! Don’t get out of the truck yet.” He rushed out of his truck to my side, and he opened the door for me. This definitely hasn’t happened to me before, and I took his generosity with gratitude. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want him to leave.
He reached his pocket and pulled out a torn piece of paper. He handed it to me and said, “This is my phone number.”
I was surprised he was willing to give it to me, and on top of that, I didn’t have to ask for it. We said our good-byes, and he drove off. Shoot! I totally forgot to give him my phone number! Well, at least, he gave me his number. That meant I could call him anytime.
TUESDAY, MAY 19, 2009
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
I finally have a day off, and I had no idea what I was going to do. For the most part, my life wasn’t full of purpose. I realized that, I knew that, and for a long time it didn’t bother me. Now, that I lay in the bedroom by myself, I was well aware it wasn’t good to go through life without a purpose. There has to be a reason for a person to get up in the morning. Olivia saw long ago that I had nothing going for myself. I gave up my dreams and goals. Actually, I felt the world owed me, but I knew I was wrong. Nobody was going to give me a thing.
I got out of bed thinking back to a few days when I put clothes in the washing machine. They had to be mildewed my now. I went to the kitchen and sorted through my wet clothes. I took one garment out to smell it. EW! I restarted the washing machine. I turned around to see the kitchen was a mess. There were dirty dishes in the sink and on the table. I wondered why Andrea never threw her empty alcohol bottles away. Doesn’t she get tired of looking at them? I know I did. I decided against my better judgment to at least pick up the bottles and cans, and wash the dirty dishes. We already had a bad infestation of roaches, and this was only going to make it worse. I pulled out a plastic trash bag from underneath the sink and began picking up every bottle, can, and cup that lay around the apartment. There would be more bottles by the end of the week, but for the moment, I can at least get rid of the ones now. By the time I was done, I had two bags of garbage. I took them to the dumpster that was at the end of the apartments on the left side, and then I returned to the kitchen to hand wash all the dishes.
Once I was finished washing everything, I began drying the plates, none of them matched in size or color. I set them on the cabinet shelf one at a time. As I worked, my mind wandered to Alex and my dates with him. I remembered looking into his blue eyes and feeling my heart race. He listened to me and made me feel like a human being. I wondered how he felt when I wasn’t around. Did he think about me like I thought about him? Did his heart race, too? What would it be like to be his girlfriend? He could take me over to his house, and I could meet his...Oh, shit, I forgot about his family. They wouldn’t accept me. They wouldn’t like me at all. Who was I kidding?
A knock at the door woke me from daydreaming. Great! Who was bothering me now? I had the entire apartment to myself, and it was peaceful. I didn’t want any visitors. I went to the front door begrudgingly and swung it open to find Helen standing on my porch. Her jet black hair was in a tight ponytail revealing her perfectly round face and bright brown eyes. I hated to admit it, but she was a pretty lady. She was really smart, too. She had on a summer, sleeveless dress and blue flip flops with flowers where the band went between her toes. Helen smiled when she saw me. I didn’t smile back. She was not the person I wanted to
see.
“How’s it going, Angela?”
I answered, “Okay, I guess.”
Helen nodded a little. She began to have an uneasy stance, looking back at her boyfriend, John, who was preoccupied in his car. She cleared her throat and asked, “Is your sister home?”
Is she crazy? She knew Olivia was gone. She had to know. I answered smartly, “Yea, Olivia is sitting on my shoulder.”
“I’m talking about Andrea.” She said quickly.
I answered, “Andrea is not here. She’s either at work or at Madison’s house.”
“Well, I don’t have time to be driving around looking for her. Could you give this to her, please?” Helen was trying to hand me a piece of paper.
I didn’t take it. I asked, “What is it?”
“This is Olivia’s phone number and address where she lives in Virginia. She only wanted me to give it to Andrea, but I don’t have time to chase her down right now.”
“Well, when you find the time, you give it to her then. I’m sure you don’t want to disappoint Olivia.”
Helen saw my attitude, and she looked at me strangely. She asked, “Angela, are you angry at me?”
I am so glad she asked, and I answered, “Yes, I am.”
“I haven’t done anything to you.”
“Yes, you have.”
Helen was thinking about what she could have done wrong, and I knew she had no clue. She shook her head and said, “I can’t think of one thing I’ve done to you, Angela.”
I stepped outside on the porch to get real close to Helen. I wanted her to know and feel just how serious I was. I stated, “That’s all you’ve ever done is put your nose in my family’s business. Whose idea was it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Helen brought the worse out of me. My anger alone was the reason why I didn’t want to see her. I remarked, “She didn’t come up with the idea to contact her dad on her own. She never wanted to stay with him, even after our mom died. What did you say to her? How did you convince her to go live with her dad?”
“I said nothing, Angela.”
“Yes, you did. You can’t go through one single day without putting your nose in somebody’s business. What did you say to Olivia?”
Helen was silent for a moment as she looked me in the eyes. She saw my anger, felt it, but she didn’t back away. At the same, I felt her anger, and I wasn’t backing away either. She said, “She already had the idea to live with her father. She only sought my advice about it.”
“You’re lying.”
“Angela, just take the note, please.”
I slapped it out of her hands and the note floated to the ground. I demanded angrily, “Get off my damn porch!”
Her hands were shaking and she put them inside her dress pockets.
“Get out of my face, Helen.”
She was determined to stand her ground. She wouldn’t move. “I only gave her advice, Angela.”
I folded my arms impatiently. I wasn’t about to hit this girl in the face because her man was in the car, and this whole thing could turn out real bad for me. John was no joke, and he was very protective of Helen. I asked her, “And what was that advice?”
“She asked me if she should contact her dad to get help for college. I told her yes.”
“I bet you think you saved her from this poor, hard life, huh? I bet you’re so damn proud of yourself.”
“You’re not gonna make me feel bad. Were you going to help her go to college? What was she going to do with her life if she stayed in this apartment with you and Andrea and Pritchard?”
I had no answer. The question was fair and on point, but I had to be mad with Helen all the way and not back down.
“She had no chance here and you know it. He can help her, Angela. Don’t think for a moment you’re going to make me feel bad about what I did for her. You’re the one who should feel bad.”
“I would have helped her.” I didn’t even believe my own lie, but I tried my best to sound convincing.
“Yea, I bet.” She shook her head and continued on, “I don’t even know why I answered your question. I must be foolish. I know more about your sister than you do. I care more about her than you do.”
“That is a damn lie!” I wasn’t going to admit to Helen what she was saying was true. The truth hurts, and I didn’t like hearing it.
“Shape it anyway you want in your mind, Angela. We both know what the deal is.” Helen was about to walk away, but she stopped. She continued, “Let me ask you a question. What university she plans on attending?”
I didn’t know the answer.
Helen continued, not backing away. “What did she want to major in, Angela?”
I didn’t know that answer, either.
“I bet you don’t even know something as simple as her favorite color. I wasn’t snooping in her business. She came to me because you weren’t listening nor cared about what she wanted and neither did Andrea. You only worry about yourself and your next party and your next drink. You wouldn’t have figured out anything when it came to Olivia, but how to bring her down.”
I stood there speechless. I was looking at Helen stunned by what she spoke. To hear the truth blatantly in my face was unbearable, but I stood there and took it. And I could not deny any of her words, not one.
Helen bent over to pick up the note, and she put it in her pocket. Before she could step completely off the porch, I said to her, “Don’t come back here anymore.” That was my sorry win over her in my mind, but I clearly lost that battle of words.
Helen stopped and said, “I wasn’t planning on coming back.” She went back to her car. Helen said something to John, and he looked at me. I wondered if he was going to get out of the car. He didn’t. Thank God. He drove away.
I went back inside and slammed the door closed. I hated her for knowing more about my sister than I did. I hated her for caring more than I did. I hated her. I wasn’t going to dwell on what just happened. I was hoping never to see Helen anymore anyway.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I finally finished cleaning the apartment to the point where I wasn’t ashamed of it. The clothes were finally washed. I put them in a basket and took them outside to hang on the clothesline. It was kind of warm outside, and there were a lot of people. A few apartments down, another lady was hanging her wet laundry on the line, too. Some kids were running around screaming and laughing. They even ran around me a couple of times before running off. I didn’t yell at the kids for playing around me. I just kept on doing what I was doing.
After I finished, I set the clothes basket inside the back door, and I sat down on the steps. I started thinking about what Helen said earlier. How I didn’t know Olivia’s favorite color. My sister and I didn’t talk about those kinds of things. When you’re trying to just make it from day to day, those small details weren’t important. We talked, but we argued more. And the discussions were harsh, uneasy moments at times. Maybe, Helen was right. Olivia was not going to make it here. We’d still be fighting. She’d still be angry, and she would hold her failures against me and Andrea. I don’t think I could live with that.
I was about to go inside, when my name was called. I turned around not recognizing the voice, but when I saw his face, I knew. His name was James Booker, one of Roscoe Madison’s thugs. I knew when I saw him, the rent hadn’t been paid, and it was damn near the end of May. It isn’t a good thing to see James Booker walking around Covington Point. He threatened people when they were late with rent. And sometimes he threatened to put them out of their apartment. He was a big, dark man. He always dressed in blue jeans and some kind of polyester shirt that hung long outside his pants. He carried himself like a bully. He didn’t smile as he approached me from his car that was in the parking lot behind my clothes line.
The lady that was still hanging her clothes yelled to him. She wanted him to come and see her. He acknowledged her request simply by pointing his huge forefinger at her, and she knew what he me
ant. James came up to me first. I waited for him to speak. There was no way I was going to run off at the mouth with this huge guy in grabbing distance.
“Where’s Andrea?” He looked at me with a searing angry look.
I answered as I looked around to see who was watching us, “She’s not here.”
“What is today’s date?” He asked.
“It’s May 19th.”
“The first of the month was like 19 days ago. What the fuck? You think you can live here for free?”
I answered, “No, I don’t think that at all. I thought she paid.”
“She didn’t. I want the money by tomorrow. I won’t be asking again. You got that?”
“I got it.” I was so scared of this guy.
James stepped in closer, and I could smell his body cologne and the tobacco on his breath. He wasn’t the best smelling thing, but at least, he wasn’t stinking. He said in a lower voice, “You know, there are other ways. I might give you a discount.” He reached for my hand and held it tight in his hand.
I did not answer him, but I didn’t snatch away. I knew any kind of bad reaction would land me on the ground. I didn’t want to get hurt again, and this guy was bigger than Jason. I looked away. I was trembling like a leaf, and I couldn’t control it. James let my hand go, and he stepped back. I breathed once again, and I had tears forming in my eyes. I had no delusions of what this guy was capable of.
He said, “Okay, it’s like that then. You might wanna think about my offer. I’ll give you a little more time, but you make sure you tell Andrea I came by and I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I didn’t acknowledge what he said, but I heard him loud and clear. He touched the bottom of my chin and walked away towards the other lady. He was absolutely disgusting, and I wasn’t going to sleep with him even if he was the last man in the entire universe.
Why did I have to go through this? Andrea and Pritchard haven’t paid the rent, and now James Booker, the biggest damn thug in town, was threatening to put us out. I went back inside to my room. I did not want to see him again, and if I could avoid everyone pretty much, maybe the rest of my day will turn out better.
The Ex Killer Series Page 10