“Yes, it does. You think you’ll be where you’re at now if she wasn’t an alcoholic or on drugs? I remember her being a very supportive person before she became an addict. You should have spoken up while Dr. Jameson was there. You should have made Andrea go to treatment.”
I looked over at Tanie who was listening to Stephanie, and she looked like she agreed with her. What could I say to that? I couldn’t think of any more excuses, no quick come back.
Stephanie continued, “You did the wrong thing today. If no one else tells you, I will. You were wrong for not fighting for her.”
“I’m not wrong, Stephanie.” I felt like a child in trouble, but she was telling the truth. I just didn’t want to admit it.
“Yes, you are, and you know you are. If Andrea was my sister, she would be gone already. No question about it. No matter what she has done in the past, I’d still fight to get her to do the right thing. It makes everyone’s life better, not just hers.”
I wanted to get up and leave at that point, but I knew if I walked out like I had before, Stephanie was going to leave and there was no fixing it later. I didn’t want Stephanie to be angry with me. I did not want to walk away.
“Stephanie, today is the last day I’ll see you, and I don’t want to argue.”
Stephanie took in a deep breath and exhaled. She remarked, “I just want the best for you and your family, Angela. I can see you guys are on your last leg, and if you’re not doing all you can to save your family, then you won’t make it. She won’t make it.”
There was a heavy stubbornness in me. There were so many old grudges I held inside, so many, and for some reason it was hard to get passed them. I loved Andrea in my own way, but it was hard to show it. It was really difficult to stand beside her when she wasn’t interested in standing beside me.
The awkward quietness was next, and I lost my appetite. Stephanie didn’t eat much either, and Tanie finished her meal. She wasn’t bothered by the way the conversation ended. After our meal was done, Tanie paid the ticket at the register while Stephanie and I waited outside.
Stephanie spoke to me first, and I was relieved. I didn’t want her to be mad at me the last few moments. “Angela, you do understand that I don’t mean any harm, right?”
“I completely understand. I just don’t want you mad at me.”
“I’m not mad, only concerned. That’s all it is. I want you to make it. I want you and your sister to both make it.”
“I know and I appreciate that, Stephanie. We’ll make it just fine.”
Stephanie wasn’t convinced. I wasn’t completely, either.
I asked Stephanie wishing I was going to Germany, “What is the first thing you’re going to do when you get to Germany?”
Stephanie smiled and said, “Try German beer and find out if there is such a thing as a German kiss.”
“What?” That was the strangest thing I’ve ever heard.
She started laughing.
When I was about to ask her what that meant, my cell phone started chirping. I looked at it thinking Alex was calling me, but I had to think again. Alex wouldn’t have my new cell phone number. I flipped it open not knowing if I could speak into it or not. At first, I glanced at the display making sure I didn’t have to press a button. I heard a woman’s voice come out of the phone and I put it to my ear.
“Angela?” It was Janea.
“Yes, this is Angela.” I answered.
“Memphis, Tennessee. You leave first thing in the morning with Tanie. I expect your arrival back here no later than 6:00 p.m. tomorrow. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” I answered, and then there was nothing. No dial tone, only a dead line. I said, “Hello? Hello?”
Tanie said, “If you don’t hear anything, she hung up.”
“That was kind of rude.” I remarked as I closed the phone.
“She’s not in this to be our friends, Angela.” Tanie remarked.
“I figured that out the first time I saw her.”
Tanie asked, “Are you ready to go, Stephanie? I hope everything is cool between you two because this is it.”
“We’re cool.” Stephanie hugged me, and I hugged her back. I was going to miss her.
We arrived at the recruiter’s office, and he was waiting on Stephanie. He was wearing a dark green uniform that fitted his square, but slim frame. He wore a black nametag with his name in white. His shoes were shiny. His lips were moist, and he had a small trimmed mustache. The soldier was actually very sexy, and I wanted him to take his hat off.
His voice was deep as he spoke, “Morning, soldier, are you ready?”
“Yes, Sgt. Tillman, I am ready to go.” Tanie took Stephanie bag out of the trunk and handed it to the Sgt. Tillman.
“Where are the rest of your suitcases?” He asked.
“I only have this one bag.” Stephanie talked to him as they walked to his car.
I was hoping Sgt. Tillman would say something to me, like hello. But he rarely looked my way, and I was trying to act cute for nothing. Stephanie came over and gave us one last hug. She started tearing up, and then I started crying, and Tanie wasn’t too far behind. We were a bunch of sobbing women. Sgt. Tillman got into the driver’s seat. I guess he was trying to avoid our tears.
Stephanie said, “I want you guys to behave yourselves.”
“I can’t guarantee that.” Tanie said quickly.
“We won’t be behaving.” I added.
Stephanie shook her head and hugged us again. “I’ll miss you guys. I love you both.”
I was really going to miss her. She was my stability, a good counterweight to Tanie.
Within moments, Stephanie was gone, and I leaned against Tanie’s car looking down the road. Hopefully, I will be traveling that same road, too. I wanted a new life, a freedom that only came with leaving Colum.
FRIDAY, MAY 29, 2009
CHAPTER FIFTY
Sleeping in was out of the question. Tanie was due to pick me up in thirty minutes, and I needed to get ready. For some reason, I was tired and getting up proved to be hard. The shower did wake me up a little. When I walked into the kitchen, Andrea was in her normal spot, but this time she seemed more out of it. She looked terrible, and her eyes were red. She’d been crying. What’s wrong with her now?
I asked, “Andrea, what’s going on?” I hated asking her anything, but she was in bad shape.
“Nothing is wrong. Just go away.”
I was going to try and be nice, but she turned her back to me. What could I say? There was nothing to say. Tanie saved me. She honked the horn, and I left. Maybe, she’d be better by the time I come back from Memphis.
Leaving Colum felt great to me. I liked looking through the back window and seeing the town disappear behind the bright blue sky, the trees, and the road. When I do get a chance to leave permanently, it’ll be ten times better. I was going to smile and live in that moment, and never forget it.
Tanie remarked bringing my daydreaming to an end, “Angela, we need to talk seriously about this thing we’re about to do. I need for you to listen to what I tell you, and don’t ever forget because eventually you will have to do this on your own. There can be no mistakes because if there is we’ll pay for it.”
I focused in, listening intently.
“There are a couple of ways we do trips. Either we meet up and trade, or I park the car and the products get switched out. If the last one occurs, we don’t see anyone. We simply go back to the car at a specific time and drive it back to Colum. What we’re doing today is the last one, which is easier.”
“Okay.”
“Now, when you eventually do this by yourself, you have to make sure you line up something to do away from the vehicle during the time of the switch. I can help you with that whenever you have to make a run on your own. When you have to meet up with someone, you’ll know the face and the name ahead of time. Janea will send you a pic of that person before you leave town and she will tell you where to meet and around what time. You are never to speak to that per
son. I don’t care if they ask how you’re doing or your shoe size. You don’t say a word to them. You understand?”
“Yes.”
“And the person you’re meeting will know not to say a word. If they do, you leave. If someone shows up that doesn’t match the picture Janea sent, you leave without swapping packages. That person is an imposter. He could be a cop. You do not hesitate. You get right back in your car, and you leave. Roscoe and Janea only trust a handful of people, and those people know how it should be done. Never any conversations of any kind at any time before, during, or after the swap.”
“What if they start talking to me after they’ve already gotten the package, and I have theirs?”
“If you’re smart, you won’t give them a chance to speak, but you shouldn’t worry about that. Like I said, the people you will be meeting, Roscoe knows them. He absolutely trusts them, and they won’t stray from what you’ve been told. I’ve never had a problem, and you won’t either.”
“Okay.”
Tanie continued, “Before, I came over to your house, I drove over to a certain meeting place where Janea put the package in the trunk. She will always tell you where to meet before you leave town to get the product, and once we get the swap done, we’ll contact her. She’ll tell us where to meet in Colum after we get back. This will always be the process for every trip. She’ll probably ask you questions when you return. Answer them truthfully. She will probably already know the answers. She’ll test you.”
“Okay.”
“Also, and I don’t know if he told you, but if you get pulled over while either package is in the car, it’s yours.”
“Yes, Roscoe told me.”
“I think you’ll do fine, Angela. It’s not that hard. You and I will be taking the first few trips together, and you’ll see it’s not that bad and it’s not scary at all.”
“Well, that’s good to hear it’s not scary because I am nervous about this whole thing.”
“You’ll be fine.”
I was curious. A question came to my mind and I asked, “Tanie, why Roscoe don’t want us to talk to those people?”
“He wants to be in control of everything. He doesn’t want us to know what they do, and he doesn’t want them to know what we do.”
“So, if you were caught by the police, would you go to jail for Roscoe? Or would you rat him out so you wouldn’t have to do time?”
“I would go to jail. I wouldn’t rat him out, ever.”
“He wouldn’t go to jail for any of us. He won’t make the same sacrifices that we have to make for him.”
“That’s how it is, Angela. He didn’t seek us, we went to him. This is the agreement, and we have to live by it.”
“You can’t even walk away when you want to. You’re like a prisoner in his game, and you can’t win no matter what you decide.”
“I feel like I’m winning. I’m getting paid good money.”
“It’s not enough.”
Tanie remarked, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Angela.”
She settled in for the long drive. She tuned the radio to a station with upbeat music, and she set the air conditioner to a comfortable level. The rhythm of the road made me sleepy, and I was out before I realized it. The darkness took control instead of the dreams, and it seemed like I slept for a long time.
The movement must have kept me sleeping because the moment Tanie stopped at the first traffic light in Memphis my eyes came open to what seemed like a new sky in a new town I’ve never been to. Memphis was busier, more buildings, more streets, and more people. Instantly, I became interested in this place. Some of the buildings were worn from time, others restored with only a hint of their age, and others brand new. This town bustled with life with every turn, from people walking the sidewalks to cars zooming from one street to another. There was just so much more life and I liked it.
Tanie drove into an alley and parked in a dirty back lot that had garbage all over the place. She turned the engine off, flipped the vanity mirror down to check her hair and make-up. She then reached in the glove box and pulled out a gun. She jammed it in purse. I was shocked to see her with that, but I didn’t ask any questions. I was too afraid. I waited for instructions on what I should do. I had no reason to primp in the mirror. I was a mess regardless what I try to do to myself at that point.
“Come on.” She stated as she got out of the car quickly.
“Where are we going?” I asked Tanie. She was rushing out of the back lot and down the alley. We were back on the main road and walking down the sidewalk. I asked her again where we were going.
She stopped and asked, “Aren’t you hungry?”
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
We were led to a table in the middle of the restaurant, and we immediately placed an order. I went for the smallest burger they had, and Tanie ordered one size larger. She remarked after the waitress walked away, “These burgers are the best. I eat here every time I come to Memphis.”
“So, what have you done here in Memphis other than eat?”
“I go to Beale Street. They have clubs and outside entertainment and vendors that sell all kinds of things. That place is a happening spot here in Memphis. It’s not too far from here. I’ve also been to a couple of museums.”
“You like going to museums?”
“Yes, I do.”
“All this time I’ve known you, and you never said a word.”
“You’re impressed, huh?” Tanie smiled and winked at me.
We ate our lunch, and before long we were in the back lot and back on the road again. Tanie did not speak to me after we left the restaurant. She was serious on getting out of town quickly. She didn’t run red lights or drive crazy. She drove like a perfect defensive driver. Once out of town, Tanie opened her cell phone and punched in some numbers and closed it back up. She put her phone in the cup holder between our seats instead of back in her purse, and she concentrated on driving.
The silence brought Alex to my mind. I didn’t want to think about him, but I couldn’t push him out of my thoughts, either. I was so disappointed. He let me down and proved Tanie right. I knew the moment I saw him at the fair with that girl, our relationship was over. Maybe, it never existed, and he let me think it was real. He was done with me. I was only a curiosity, someone that filled his free time. He said a lot of things that made me feel like an exceptional person. He made me love him more than I have ever loved Jason.
He took advantage of me, and I hated it. I could feel the heat of anger rising to my face. Alex sneaked away on a lie and a hope that he would never see me again. I had no doubts I wasn’t a part of his long term plans. He played a game on me just like Jason did, but the only difference is, instead of putting me down and beating me, Alex lifted me up and told me everything and anything I wanted to hear and then left me hanging. I fell for it. At least, with Jason I knew I didn’t count for a hill of beans, but with Alex, I thought I was Mount Everest.
I wasn’t going to let this die away. I decided that Alex and I will settle up in the future. We might not see each other in weeks or in months or in years, but eventually, we will run into each other again. After all, his family still lived in Colum, and he had to come back to see them. He will answer for his lies. He will explain the game he ran on me and why. He will be the last man that treats me like shit. I thought he was a great person, and I bragged about him and took up for him. He made me look like a fool idiot.
Now, NOW, I was pissed off.
I said to Tanie, “I want to apologize to you.”
She gave me a stare like I was crazy and asked, “For what?”
“You were right about Alex.”
Tanie was surprised. She said, “Oh my God, are you finally seeing that guy for what he really is?”
“I’ve known since the day at the fair.”
“And you’ve been fighting me all this time!”
I said, “I still had a little bit of hope, Tanie.”
“Why are you admitting it now?”
“Because I’m pissed off, and he hasn’t called me since he left. His cell phone number is disconnected.”
“I’m so sorry, Angela.”
“I wonder if he slept with her.” I thought about the times Alex and I weren’t together, and what he was doing. Was he with that girl the whole time? Was he with her now in Atlanta?
“What was her name, Angela?” Tanie asked.
“I don’t remember.”
“Well, now, you can move on. You can stop waiting for him.”
“How could you have seen it so soon? How did you know?”
“Alex is no different from any other prick I’ve dated. I learned that some guys will lie to get what they want. They will tell you they love you every single day and never mean it once. Alex was the master of compliments, I bet. He always knew what to say, and he made you feel like you were the only person that mattered to him, right? It’s easy for him to his emotions on and off when the relationship means nothing.”
“You rarely saw us together, Tanie.”
“I don’t think I saw you guys together at all, but Angela, look at who he is and who he is related to. His family helps elect the mayor, and they are tied to State Senator Carver. His family funds all kinds of projects around town. They have a reputation in the public eye, and for their eldest son to be messing around with a girl like you isn’t a good thing.”
I slumped down in my seat and said, “I should become a lesbian. I bet that’s easier.”
Tanie laughed.
I was seriously considering it. Maybe, loving a woman is easier and less stressful.
CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
We were back in Colum around 5:30 in the afternoon. The moment we hit the town limits, Tanie was on the phone calling Janea. She gave us a meeting place, and we were due to be there within a couple minutes. We were going to Miss Madison’s farm. I didn’t know she had land separate from her house. Tanie drove towards the back of the sprawling property that was fenced in. The property wasn’t too far from Miss Madison’s house. Tanie backed her car into a large standalone metal garage and popped the trunk once she was parked underneath. Tanie told me to sit in the car, don’t look back, and don’t ask questions. Even when the trunk is closed, she told me to keep my eyes straight ahead. I did exactly as I was told.
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