by Joyce Alec
“And what good will that do?”
Madeline smiled. “Show him all of that first, Alice. And then reveal the truth.”
***
“My lord.”
Giving one last glance towards Madeline, Alice allowed herself to be led onto the floor, despite every bone in her body screaming that she should not allow such a thing. It was no good, of course, for Lord Worthington had appeared by her side the moment the last dance had finished, ready to lead her onto the floor.
“Are you in town for long?” he asked, as they began to dance. “I am aware that these masks hide our true features, but I am quite sure I have not seen you at such an event before now.”
“I have only just arrived,” Alice replied, coolly. She was relieved that her voice had not failed her, although she struggled to keep any trace of anger or upset from it. “I am not quite sure how long I shall stay.”
“I see,” he responded, giving her an assessing glance. “Then I shall have to make the most of your company while I can.”
He grinned at her, but Alice felt nothing but distaste.
“And you, my lord,” Alice began, remembering Madeline’s advice. “You spend much time here in town, I hear?”
His grin widened. “Indeed.”
“Hiding from something, are you?”
His grin vanished at once, replaced with a look of astonishment which he swiftly covered with a look of nonchalance. “Not at all, my lady. Where such a story has come from, I am not sure.”
Alice sniffed delicately, waiting until she returned to his side before continuing. “I have heard all about you, Lord Worthington.”
“Ah, so you know me then,” he chuckled, apparently attempting to get back to their airy discussion. “And I thought my mask hid my face quite well.”
“Nonsense,” Alice declared, recalling how Madeline had encouraged her to show Lord Worthington that she was not like the other flighty ladies of his acquaintance, ready to accept whatever nonsense he spouted. “You chose that mask so that people would know who you were — the ladies, I presume, especially.”
The cheerfulness was slowly wiped from his face as he continued with his dance steps, looking at her in a slightly puzzled manner. “You are not afraid to say what you think, my lady.”
Alice let out a quiet laugh. “I was not always so, my lord, but I have come to learn that hiding away in the shadows, simply agreeing with whatever it is a gentleman might say, is unhealthy.”
“Oh?” His raised eyebrow told her that he was waiting for her to explain herself a little more.
“To do so allows oneself to be trampled by those who believe they have a higher position within society — or a higher position than you, at least.” She gave a slight shake of her head. “No, I shall no longer allow myself to be told what to do and how to speak or what to wear. I am my own person, my lord, so do not expect me to fall at your feet in regard for your good looks or charm. I can see straight through them.”
She saw him swallow, his mouth set in something of a thin line. “I see,” he muttered, looking away from her.
“I am more than aware of who you are,” she continued, enjoying the way he was becoming so discomfited. “And I find your flirtations both childish and inappropriate. You may have hordes of young ladies at your beck and call, but you will not find me amongst them, my lord. I am sorry to say so, but there it is.”
The dance, mercifully, came to a close, and he released her almost at once and bowed quickly.
“I can see my own way back to my friend,” Alice said, lifting her chin a little as she stepped away from him. “I thank you for the dance, my lord, and shall look forward to our next one.”
He did not say anything, but his eyes rested on her for a long moment before he stepped away.
Feeling more than satisfied, Alice walked gracefully back towards Madeline, who was being led off the floor by her husband. Alice greeted them both, laughing to herself as Madeline sent her husband off in search of something to drink, evidently eager to discover how Alice had done.
“Well?”
Alice chuckled. “I do not think he will be returning for his second dance,” she laughed, feeling proud of herself. “I made it clear that I do not appreciate nor want any of his flirtations.”
Madeline looked shocked. “You did not say that?”
“I did,” Alice declared, smiling. “And you should have seen the look on his face. I think he must consider me a persona non grata to him now.”
“Goodness,” Madeline murmured, as another gentleman came to claim Alice’s hand for the next dance. “I suppose that is very well done, Alice.”
***
The sense of triumph in Alice’s chest brought her a great deal of happiness that spread throughout the rest of the evening. She was not sure whether or not Lord Worthington would ever seek her out again, but if he did not, she would find him and continue their conversation until she was satisfied. Madeline was right. She had to prove to him — and even to herself — that she was a strong woman, who would not bend to a gentleman’s demands any longer. She had lived that life for too long, and it was time for things to change.
In her mind’s eye, Alice could see herself railing at him for leaving his wife in such a terrible circumstance, for not even being aware of who she was. The guilt he would feel would be almost overwhelming, crushing him before her. Then, when it was as if he could take it no more, she would reveal herself and her conquest would be complete. He would be so astonished, so guilt-ridden, so humiliated in front of society by what she had been forced to do, that he would try to make things up to her for a long time to come. Perhaps for the duration of their marriage.
However, that illusion was shattered the moment he returned to her side, ready to take her to the floor for their second dance.
Wilting a little, she walked onto the floor and, aware that this was a waltz, tentatively put her hand on his shoulder and clasped his hand.
“You dance wonderfully,” he murmured, a quiet smile on his face. “What a shame I do not know your name.”
“I doubt you need it,” Alice replied crisply. “Are there not many other ladies here this evening who are entirely envious of me? I am sure you may lavish your attentions on them, and they will be more than delighted with it.”
He frowned. “You intrigue me, my lady.”
“Is that so?”
Nodding, he continued to regard her from behind his mask. “No lady of my acquaintance has ever spoken to me in the way you do. I find it quite… refreshing.”
“Regardless, do not think that I wish for your company to be focused on me,” Alice responded, her heart beginning to hammer in her chest.
This was not at all going the way she had intended.
“You have another?” he asked, softly.
That question forced her to look at him, her eyes narrowing. “Do you?”
An uncomfortable look came over his face, evidently unsettling him. He opened his mouth to answer, only for the music to come to an abrupt stop and the announcement that the unmasking was upon them.
“Wonderful!” Lord Worthington exclaimed, grinning at her. “Finally, I shall look upon your face, my lady. You shall not be able to hide your identity from me then, I am sure!”
Alice felt her heart begin to race as she lifted her hands to untie the silk ribbon, suddenly terrified that her husband would remember her face from their wedding, even though he had not lifted her veil. The mask slipped from her face, and she caught it in one hand before looking up at him.
There was not even a flicker of recognition.
“It seems you are new to town,” he said, heavily. “For I do not recognize you in the least.”
He caught her hand, his gloved fingers twining with hers.
“Please, do not leave without telling me your name. For whatever reason, I simply cannot leave here this evening without it.”
The hint of desperation in his voice gave her no joy, her heartbeat slowly settling as she
saw that he did not know her in the slightest. It was unsurprising, but nevertheless, a heavy weight sank into her chest.
“I am Lady Emma Taylor,” she murmured, giving him a quick curtsy and turning to leave the floor.
Chapter Five
Over the next sennight, Alice saw her husband very often, but treated him with the same cool disregard she had done that very first night. However, instead of putting him off, it only seemed to encourage him.
She would find his name on the same two dances at each and every ball she attended, for he always made sure to waltz with her, no matter how much she tried to remove herself from his presence. His attempts to engage her in conversation never brought her any kind of pleasure, for she found his manner entirely inappropriate for a married gentleman.
Despite herself, she would watch him as he took other ladies on to the floor, her eyes unable to leave him. It was true that he was a handsome man, but that did not make up for his lack of character. In truth, she was both disappointed and hurt. Hurt that he was not the kind of man she would ever have sought for a husband and disappointed that the last three years had taught him nothing. Apparently, he had not changed.
“You are watching him a little too often, Alice,” Catherine murmured one night when they were at yet another ball. What with it being the high point of the season, Alice had found herself at a ball almost every night, thanks to either Catherine or Madeline’s friendship.
“You will give yourself away,” Catherine warned, pressing a gentle hand to Alice’s arm. “Come now, distract yourself.”
Sighing heavily, Alice turned her back on the dancing guests and tried to smile. “You are very wise, Catherine. What would I do without you and Madeline to help me pick my way through this delicate situation?”
Catherine smiled but said nothing, greeting one of the gentlemen talking to Lady Astor and her husband. Alice forced herself to remain steadfast, trying to listen to the conversation flowing around her but finding her thoughts entirely caught up with her husband.
“And how are you this evening?”
Madeline’s sympathetic smile told Alice that her friend was not unaware of the difficulties she was currently working through.
“I am well, I thank you,” Alice replied, aware that there were other gentlemen and ladies in their company.
“Have you danced very often?”
It was a veiled question, and Alice tried her best not to grimace. Her friend wished to know whether or not Lord Worthington had signed her dance card as he usually did, and, unfortunately, Alice had to admit that yes, he had.
“Quite often,” she answered, managing a quick roll of her eyes. “I believe all my dances but one are taken.”
Madeline’s eyes flashed with indignation for her friend.
“I have company for the supper dance also,” Alice continued, her heart sinking into her stomach. “So, you need not worry that I will be lonely.”
Her friend’s smile became fixed. “No, indeed. I am glad to hear it.”
Alice sighed inwardly, wondering whether or not she would, somehow, be able to escape before the supper dance took place. Of course, Lord Worthington had signed his name to it almost at once, whilst she had been caught up talking to another gentleman.
Any other lady might have colored and laughingly rebuked him from catching her off guard, but her reaction was quite the opposite. It had taken everything in her not to wrench her dance card from his grip and stalk away in the opposite direction, giving him the cut direct, but sense had forced her to remain where she was.
Were she to turn away from him, then society would wonder why she was treating him so, and she did not want to garner any further attentions. Thankfully, thus far, she had been accepted into London society with barely a question. No one appeared to recognize her, something that had always given her a slight amount of worry, but evidently, she had changed in her three years away.
The music began once more, and Alice smiled as Madeline took her husband’s proffered arm, evidently delighted to be dancing in the arms of her husband. It was a happy marriage, and Alice was more than pleased for Madeline, even if she could not stop herself from feeling a hint of jealousy over the wonderful husband her friend had been blessed with. How different life could have been had Lord Worthington been even remotely like Lord Astor.
“My dear Lady Emma, I believe this is our dance.”
Alice’s smile froze as she heard her husband’s familiar voice, turning to face him with trepidation in her heart.
“Are you not weary of dancing?” she asked, attempting to sound nonchalant. “You have danced almost every dance, I believe.”
“Watching me, were you?” he laughed, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “My lady, I confess that I have had nothing more than this moment in mind, for the entirety of the ball. To have the pleasure of your company not only for the dance but also for supper.” He put his hand over his heart and sighed heavily, a wide smile on his face. “Wonderful.”
Alice was not taken in. No blush crept into her cheeks, no soft smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She was entirely unaffected, and she could detect the frisson of doubt that crept into his features as he continued to smile at her.
“Shall we?” he asked, eventually, when she simply did not respond. “Come now, Lady Emma! Are we not friends yet? Have we not spent enough time in each other’s company to find one another tolerable at least?”
Keeping her mouth closed, Alice tried to concentrate on the steps of the dance instead of on her husband.
“Still, you do not speak to me,” he sighed, looking sad. “Can you not see that I only wish to get to know you better?”
“I am sure you do,” Alice responded, keeping her eyes averted from his face. “Sadly, I cannot say the same.”
A faint line of annoyance crossed his face, which he wiped away quickly, covering it with a slight laugh. “You wound me, my dear Lady Emma.”
It took everything Alice had not to respond, but she clamped her mouth shut and prayed that the dance would soon end. The supper dance meant that she would have to endure his company for a little longer, but at least there might be others that would join them.
His close proximity was something of a strain at the moment and, in spite of her indifference to him, Alice discovered that she did, for whatever reason, find him more than a little attractive. It was not a realization she wished to dwell on in the least, angry with herself for being as shallow as the rest of the ladies he pressed his attentions on.
“You are determined then to remain a mystery to me?” he asked, breaking into her thoughts. “But why so, Lady Emma?”
“It is not deliberate, Lord Worthington,” she said, tightly. “Merely that I do not feel it necessary to give you all the details about myself and my life when we are hardly more than acquaintances.”
He looked nonplussed for a moment before the bright smile was back on his face once more, although it now appeared to be somewhat strained.
“I do wish to know you better,” he said, as the dance came to an end. “Is that such a terrible thing?”
Alice stopped dead, forgetting to curtsy as the couples began to move from the floor. “Why do you wish to know me better, my lord?”
Surprised, he stared at her as though no one had ever asked him such a question before. In fact, she was sure that no one ever had, since everyone seemed delighted to accept his attentions whenever he gave it.
“Walk with me,” he murmured, leading her from the floor. “And I shall tell you.”
Alice found herself borne away, tension running through her body. Shaking off his grip, no matter how appropriate, she turned to face him the moment they reached a quieter corner of the ballroom.
With all the other guests now turning to go into the supper room, they were left to have a somewhat private conversation. Alice glared at him, wondering how he was to answer her question. When would he realize that she was not like all the other ladies of his acquaintance? When would he stop ho
unding her?
“You asked me why I seek a further acquaintance with you,” he murmured, quietly. “Can you not tell, Lady Emma? Must I make my interest in you so obvious?”
His words did nothing to calm her. “You are trying to tell me that you find me somewhat attractive?”
He grinned jauntily. “In short, yes.”
“And I should be delighted with this, I presume?”
The grin slowly slid from his face. “It is a compliment, is it not?”
She snorted and turned away, desperately seeking some place of refuge. The doors were open, and she stepped out on to the terrace, allowing the cool air to calm her hot cheeks.
“You are quite impossible, Lady Emma,” came his voice as he stepped out beside her. “I am only trying to please you.”
Shaking her head, Alice turned her head away from him and stared out into the darkness. “You can please me by pressing your attentions onto a woman who desires them. Now, please excuse me, Lord Worthington. I believe I require a few minutes alone.”
All was quiet for a few minutes, making Alice believe that Lord Worthington had done as she asked, but when she turned her head, she saw him still standing there, studying her intently.
“Please,” she repeated, standing a little taller. “I have no wish for company at the present moment.”
“You mean you have no wish for my company,” he responded, with such a serious expression on his face that she was slightly taken aback. “Might I ask, Lady Emma, why you seem to dislike me so on such a short acquaintance?”
Alice could not tell him the truth, for fear that he would discover the truth about who she was. “I simply do not have time for rogues and rakes, my lord.”
He made a surprised sound in the back of his throat. “And you believe me to be such a thing?”
She looked at him steadily, refusing to answer but making her response more than plain. To her very great surprise, he appeared quite affronted, his brows knitting together in a deep frown.