He reached over without looking and patted her hand. “Just read, my Pearl.”
“ ‘Commit thy way unto the Lord,’ ” she pushed on, “ ‘trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place, and it shall not be. But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.’ ”
She spread her hands over the page and straightened. “Pa.”
“Yes, Pearl?”
“Who is the wicked in this terrible war? Is it the Yankees? Or is it us?”
Pa sighed. “Oh, my dear daughter.”
It wasn’t fair of her to ask him these things, not with his mind so unclear. But again, she couldn’t seem to hold back the question. Especially since Clem had voiced it as well.
Just when she was about to give up and begin reading again, Pa spoke. “ ‘There is none righteous, no, not one.’ ” He looked at her and added, “ ‘All our righteousnesses are as filthy rags.’ ”
“You should have been a preacher, Pa,” Pearl said softly.
“He made us all preachers, Pearl. Even the heavens declare the glory of God.”
Her fingers smoothed across the pages. She was not nearly diligent enough in her study of holy scripture. She could recognize when Pa quoted something from the words of this Book, but couldn’t nearly draw that much of it from her own memory.
She should do better about that, henceforth.
“If we have not the comfort of knowing our Savior, Pearl, and doing our best each day to serve and follow Him, what do we have? Are not all equally lost, whether North or South, white or black, without knowledge of Him? We must seek to know God, and Him only. ‘I determined not to know any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.’ ”
Her vision blurred with sudden tears, and she blinked them away. “So—it does not matter whether we defend our country? Whether we hold fast against the depredations of those who claim they only have our best interests at heart?”
His hand reached to hold hers again. “ ‘The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy.’ But you, dear Pearl”—he shook her hand for emphasis—“you ‘cease from anger, and forsake wrath.’ ‘If thine enemy hunger—’ ”
“ ‘Feed him; if he thirst, give him drink.’ ” She huffed. “I did that, Pa. Faithfully.”
“Then trust that your Father in heaven will reward you for it, darling one.” His grip on her hand tightened for a moment, and then it loosened and he withdrew his hand. “Now. Keep reading. But this time, Psalm 27.”
She turned back a few pages, cleared her throat a couple of times, and blinked so she could see. “ ‘The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell. Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.’ ”
“See? And have we not been blessed?” Pa asked. “Has the good Lord not taken care of us?”
Her throat burned. “Yes, Pa.”
How had he known this would fit their situation so well? It was true, even at their hardest, whether the last several weeks or before, they’d been preserved from harm.
She went on, with more confidence. “ ‘One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple. For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord. Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, Lord, will I seek. Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up. Teach me thy way, O Lord, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies. Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.’ ”
“Wait on Him, my Pearl of great price,” Pa whispered.
The tumult was tremendous. No other word to describe it. Josh stood at the fortifications for what must have been upward of half an hour, watching his fellow bluecoats tuck in under an increasingly uneven rain of fire and sweep up the ridge, while everyone around him cheered and hollered.
Everyone but Clem, who still leaned into Josh’s side, shaking. All thought of joining the spectacle was now gone from the boy’s mind, he was sure.
Crumbling Confederate ranks broke as the Federals kept going—and going. The spectacle was too incredible nearly to be believed, were they not witnessing it for themselves.
And at the top of the ridge, the blue tide did not stop.
“Bragg’s headquarters is up there,” Clem muttered. “Is that where they’re going?”
“Most likely,” Josh said, then chewed his cheek. If the Rebels retreated completely and the Federals pushed even farther …
A coldness gathered in the pit of his stomach. He could hardly breathe.
“Josh?”
In the blink of an eye, his decision was made. “Come on—we have to get back.”
“What—how’re we gonna do that?”
Josh weaved his way back through the press of soldiers, and to Clem’s credit, he stayed right at Josh’s heels.
“Borrow a horse, a mule, anything.”
“They’re all out there pulling wagons and artillery!”
“There has to be one horse somewhere in Chattanooga,” Josh gritted out. “Just one.”
All he could think about was getting to Pearl—before any of that battle-mad mob.
“ ‘And I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.’ ”
Pa was asleep again. Pearl closed the Bible, softly, and looked at him. He appeared so gray, so weary, but at peace.
Pearl wished she could likewise lie down and sleep.
She rose and set the Bible in the seat of the chair, then stretched to ease the aches across her shoulders and hips. The linens hanging outside should be dry by now, and if not, they’d still need to be brought in and hung in the attic.
Taking her basket from the kitchen worktable, she went outside. The linens were dry enough, but she was halfway through folding the second sheet before she realized that the thundering sounds of battle coming from over the ridge the past three days had largely stilled.
She stopped, clutching the sheet to her middle. The hush over the farm, over the entire hollow in the shadow of the ridge, seemed portentous. Pearl felt suddenly alone under the leaden sky.
But she was never alone. Scripture promised that. She tipped her face to the clouds then closed her eyes. I know You see me, Lord. I know You’re here, with me. Will You not yet show me good in this life? Help me to trust You with all that is to come.
And yes—protect Josh. And Clem, and the others.
With a sigh, she opened her eyes and went back to folding.
“Pearl!”
She looked up, alarm bolting through h
er at the sight of Jeremiah running across the field—and the urgency in his tone. “What is it?”
Halfway across the yard, he stopped, leaning over with hands on his knees for breath. “Where’s—Lydia and the children?”
She hadn’t seen them in a few hours. “She had to fetch a few things from y’all’s house.”
Her brother’s eyes were rimmed with white. “The—Yankees broke through Confederate lines. Our gray boys have scattered every which way, and Bragg is pulling back, toward Georgia. Yankees are in pursuit—all of ’em.” He gasped a few more breaths. “Just—be ready.”
As he trotted off again, she called after him. “Where are you going?”
“To find Lydia and the little ones.”
She supposed it was his due to look after his own children and wife, but—to leave her here alone?
“Though an host should encamp against me …”
Oh Lord—protect me as well!
Snatching the rest of the linens off the line, she shoved them into the basket and lugged it back into the house. Quiet still lay thick over everything, so Pa must yet be sleeping. Pearl ran up the stairs to the attic and, from Clem’s clothes chest, drew out the three revolvers she and Clem had reloaded and hidden there. One for each pocket, and one for her hands.
She came back downstairs and stood in the middle of the sitting room. Lord … oh Lord. She could find no other words.
Trembling, she went to the table and laid down the revolver then returned to the task of folding linens. Upon second thought, she stowed the revolver in the bottom of the basket.
Folding done, she set the basket in the corner of the kitchen and went to stir the pot of beans Lydia had set to simmering at the back of the stove. It wasn’t as much as she’d been in the habit of cooking for the last several weeks, but it was more than she and Pa, and Jeremiah and Lydia and the children, certainly needed.
She’d just stirred and set the spoon aside when a pounding came at the door. Heart thumping in echo, she clutched her shawl around her with one hand, her skirts over a pocket with the other, and went to the door.
“Be of good courage.”
She took a breath and opened the door. A man in a tattered butternut uniform stood there, rumpled and wild eyed. “Can you help me, ma’am? Hide me from the Yankees, or at least give me something to eat?”
An odd calm settled over her. She should not allow the man entrance to her home, however, if she could help it. “Sit yourself down out here,” she told him.
He looked uncertain until she pointed to one of the chairs still adorning the porch, then nodded. She dashed back inside the house, dished up a bowl of beans, and brought it to him.
“Thank you most kindly, ma’am,” he said, finally dropping into a chair and making quick work of the beans.
While he sat there, yet another gray-clad soldier made his approach, and before half an hour had passed, she’d fed half a dozen such refugees.
It was the oddest thing, feeding Confederate troops this time, and not the Yankees she’d grown accustomed to these past weeks. It felt almost—wrong. Yet very right.
“If thine enemy hunger …”
Well, Lord, thank You that I have the wherewithal to do so. You surely prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
“Do any of you know a Travis Bledsoe?” she suddenly thought to ask. “Sergeant of the Fifth Tennessee Cavalry?”
Most of the men shook their heads, but one looked thoughtful. “He was over away to the side of me, not too far. I didn’t, however, see where he went when the Yankees took the ridge.”
All looked slightly abashed at that.
“So the Confederate line was overrun?” Pearl asked.
“It was, miss. They had orders just to take the trenches at the foot of Missionary Ridge, but—they pushed all the way up to the top. We all took off. Ain’t proud of it, miss, but—they’s a mad lot right now. Screaming ‘Chickamauga’ with ’most every breath. Determined to beat it out of us that they lost two months back.”
Pearl wrapped her shawl more tightly about her. Where were her former guests in all this? More specifically, Clem and Josh?
“Dear Lordy, take cover!” came the cry from one of the Confederates. “There’s Yankees comin’!”
Over on the road, a handful of Yankee soldiers galloped into view, and the lingering Confederate boys scattered. For the barest moment, Pearl’s heart leaped—but there were no familiar faces among the blue-coated soldiers.
Oh Josh …
But she couldn’t think about that in this moment. Half the Yankees gave chase, while one—she supposed a captain or some such—dismounted and approached the porch where she stood. “Ma’am. I very much regret to inform you that we’re going to burn your house.”
Pearl sank into a chair. “What? Why?”
The Yankee’s gaze remained stern. “For harboring Rebels, ma’am.”
“But—” Neither her mind, nor her tongue, wished to cooperate for the moment. “I feed whoever comes to my door, sir! For two long months it was Yankees I cared for, in this very house—wounded men that I labored over, day and night, to preserve their lives.”
The man scrubbed a hand across his unshaven jaw.
“Or do you mean to tell me you find it acceptable to repay my hospitality in this manner?”
“Ma’am,” he said, “you are the enemy, plain and simple. And we have our orders.”
Beckoning to one of the other men, he strode past her into the house before she could say him nay. She started to go after him, but another one of the men held her back. “My father’s in there,” she protested, “unwell and asleep.”
Anything he would have said was preempted by one of the men inside calling out, “Captain? This man in here’s dead.”
It was as if the floor dropped out from under her. Pearl found herself screaming and shoving toward the door, kicking and cuffing her self-appointed guard.
“Let her go,” the captain said.
She ran, scrambling, inside to Pa’s bedside, where she fell to her knees. And surely enough—there was no more breath in the form that had been her father.
“I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.”
Josh had tried not to push his poor, spavined mount any harder than he absolutely had to—it was only by severest necessity, driven by his need to get to Pearl, that he’d taken the obviously ailing wagon horse, but it was the best of the handful he’d found that had been passed over as wagon or artillery animals. And he felt guilty, riding it double with Clem on behind. When they turned the last bend before the MacFarlane house, however, and he caught sight of the cavalry mounts there in the yard and soldiers in blue in possession of those in gray, he set his heels to the horse’s side and forced it to a canter.
A scream tore from the house, turning his blood to ice. Josh was off and running almost before the horse rattled to a stop in the barnyard, and though he could feel the men’s stares, none moved to stop him. “Pearl!”
“Out!” came a shriek. “Get out of my house!”
Two blue-coated officers backed out onto the porch, followed by a feminine form wielding not one but two revolvers.
Everyone froze, as the two officers continued their retreat.
Pearl came to stand at the top of the stairs, face tearstained and flushed, hair disheveled. Her hem quivered with the tremors of her body, but both hands were absolutely steady, holding the revolvers.
Dear Lord … no.
She’d used deadly force before, without hesitation. Would Josh be able to persuade her away from it, this time?
“Pearl.” He made sure to say her name clearly before edging his way through the crowd. “What’s happened, Pearl?”
The captain in charge peered at him in surprise. “Do you know this woman?”
“Indeed I do. She nursed myself and several others back to health after Chickamauga.”
Pearl only stood for a moment, staring at him with barely a shred of recognition in her e
yes.
“Please do not fire, Pearl. It’s me—Josh.”
Her lips parted, breast rising and falling, but she kept the weapons trained on them all. “Josh?”
“Yes, sweetheart.” He edged toward the steps. “Will you put the revolvers down? I’m sure whatever’s happened, we can sort it out.”
Fresh tears flooded her eyes. “Oh Josh. Pa has flown away to heaven.”
An answering ache bloomed in his own chest at the news, but in the next moment, her arms sagged, and recognizing that her body was about to follow, he dived toward her, catching her in his arms.
Just like up on the ridge, that blustery day so many weeks ago.
And just like before, she fell against him, sobbing.
The revolvers clattered to the porch floor, and he kicked them out of the way, then gave his whole attention to gathering Pearl more fully against him. “I’m so sorry about your pa.”
Her arms wrapped him about and tightened. “Oh Josh. You’re here. You’re truly here.”
“I am. And I’m sorry it wasn’t sooner.”
She burrowed her face into his shoulder, still weeping. He glanced back at the others and found half the company, blue and gray alike, staring at them, openmouthed.
“Well.” The captain looked thoroughly disgruntled. “Not just your nurse, but your sweetheart too, by the looks of it.”
“She’ll be my wife, if she’ll have me,” Josh said.
Behind them all, Clem smirked and looked away.
Pearl gave no response, but neither did she remove herself from his embrace. He smiled a little. Perhaps she simply hadn’t registered the statement.
The captain sighed noisily. “She was sheltering Rebels. And we have orders to burn all houses and barns hereabouts if they aren’t in use to support the Union cause.”
“So, use this one to support the Union cause. I can attest that she’d already been doing so, however unwillingly at the time. Besides, wasn’t there already such an arrangement with a prominent citizen over by Rossville, who agreed to tend Federal wounded in exchange for her house being left unmolested?”
The captain pulled off his hat and raked a hand through his hair, squinting at Josh. “Who are you?”
The Rebel Bride Page 23