“Go on. I’m listening.”
“You could always just let him take you in the file room and fuck you up against the wall.”
“Oh. My. God. You are the worst.” I tried to shrug her head from my shoulder but she kept it there as we both chuckled.
“I’m just saying. It’s been a while. And it sounds like he has some pent-up aggression he needs to get out. Everybody needs some wall action on occasion.”
I couldn’t think of a day since I met Kelsey that she hadn’t made me blush. We both sat back up on the couch. “You give sage advice, you know that?”
“Oh, you could wear nothing but a baseball jersey into his office, and bite your nail, all bending over and tell him the TPS reports are ready.”
“I’m going to let that slide since you threw in a kickass movie reference. But no, I will not be getting it up against the wall in his office. Thank you for your concern though.” A shooting pain started in my stomach. More thoughts raced through my mind, and I frowned. “I can’t fuck this up. I need this job.”
She wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me in for a hug. Kelsey always knew when it was time to joke, and when it was time to be serious. “I know,” she whispered.
“Bills are starting to come in and I can barely keep up. I don’t know what I’m going to do.” I gripped her shirt tight in my hands and squeezed her closer to me.
“You’re going to kick ass at your job. Just like you’ve kicked ass at every other fucking thing you’ve ever done in your life. It’s what you do.”
“And yes, he’s hot. And for some godforsaken reason I’m attracted to him. Six months ago I would’ve told him to take his job and shove it. It’s going to be difficult. I just have to ignore it and do what I have to do.”
She somehow managed to pull me closer to her. “You will. I promise.”
Chapter 4
Ethan Mason
I couldn’t stop staring at her through the window of my office. It was Jenny’s first day on the job and she was dressed in nothing less than I expected—a semi-conservative gray knee-length skirt and a white button-up blouse with a light blue cardigan that highlighted her eyes. The cardigan could kiss my ass, covering up her curves the way it did. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she was wearing glasses.
The fact that she looked like a schoolteacher or librarian made her that much more appealing. There was nothing I could do about it either. I knew I’d have to fight my attraction to her when I hired her. Truth be told, there was just something about her. After running a business for several years, I had picked up on certain traits or characteristics. Most would’ve called it a gut feeling, or something similar that one could just sense. I could tell that they had what it took to be successful. Jenny Jackson had that going for her.
I walked back over to my desk, forcing myself to go through some emails as a distraction from my new hire. I’d worked my ass off building my agency, and I’d be damned if my dick was going to ruin all that hard work. It happened all the time. Some guy built a huge empire, fell for an employee, and it all crumbled to the ground. It’s why I ran my shit with no room for error. Excellence was demanded of every employee, and in return they were rewarded.
I scrolled through the emails, but my HR manager had sent out a welcome to Jenny, so my inbox was filled with a bunch of “reply all” messages welcoming Jenny aboard. Everywhere I looked it was Jenny, Jenny, Jenny—there was no escaping her. My brain fired on all cylinders, and thoughts of Jenny fueled it. Why had she accepted the job? She obviously didn’t like me. What was her motivation?
Todd knocked on my door and stepped inside when I motioned that it was okay to enter.
“I have contracts for you to review.” He laid them in my inbox.
“Thanks.” I didn’t even look at him, though I was glad to finally have something that would distract me from the beautiful woman who’d captivated me since the first time I had laid eyes on her on the sidewalk. I’d spend the rest of my day perusing legal speak, a surefire way to keep my dick from trying to burst through my slacks.
—
A few hours had passed and papers were strewn across my desk. My fingers squeezed tight around the neon yellow highlighter I tapped against my forehead. Regardless of the fact I always had these contracts examined by multiple sets of eyes, these sports teams still tried to slip bullshit in them under the radar.
I had picked up my phone to inflict some verbal abuse on a baseball team’s general manager when a light rap on my door jarred me from the shit storm brewing inside my skull.
“Come in.” I didn’t look up from my desk.
“I’m sorry to bother you, Mr. Mason. I was wondering if I could have a word?”
It was her.
Jenny.
Fuck.
Breathe.
How did she unravel me like this? I sat there for a few beats too long before I looked up at her. It was the first time I’d seen her when she didn’t look like she wanted to claw my eyes out. I had to remind myself that this was my business, not a bar on a Friday evening.
“What can I help you with, Miss Jackson?” My eyes went back to the contracts on my desk. I’m sure it came off as cold, but it had to be that way. If I looked at her I might smile, which could be misunderstood as weakness. She needed to know that her modest appearance and gorgeous eyes and smart mouth and beautiful curves didn’t send my mind into another dimension where I wanted to kiss the breath right out of her lungs.
“If it’s a bad time I can come back.”
I glanced over to her black pumps, refusing to look at the rest of her. She backed up a step toward the door.
What I should’ve already done was welcome her to my company. I was an asshole, but it’s what I did for all employees on their first day. They needed to be nervous but still somewhat comfortable. I couldn’t with her though. There was no middle ground. With her I was either an angel or the devil and purgatory didn’t exist.
“Now is fine. Have a seat.”
“Okay.”
As she neared, nerves pooled low in my stomach. With each step she took toward my desk my heart pounded out a John Bonham–style drumroll. I was afraid of which version of me would show up when I looked at her, Jekyll or Hyde. I hated both of them.
She took a seat and her stare was like a welding torch searing against the top of my head. When I looked up, the uneasiness on her face melted me. She wasn’t full of attitude and spunk. It’d all been drained and her cheeks were pale. She was weakened.
Everything in me wanted to ask what was wrong—hug her, comfort her. That wasn’t an option. This encounter would set the tone for our working relationship, and there’s never a better opportunity to establish control than when someone is in a bad position to negotiate. I knew what I had to do.
“What is it that you need?” My face hardened. It was an act, and I played the role all too well on a daily basis.
“I, umm…” She looked like she might tear up, and with this woman, it must’ve taken something extreme to drive her to this state. Jenny composed herself. “I didn’t have a chance to really discuss the terms of my employment. I got a call. You hired me. Then I started.”
How would I get through this? I was already hurting for her and she’d been an employee all of half a day. “And?”
She straightened in her chair and wiped her palms down her skirt. “Right. So, I was wondering if I could talk to you about a personal situation that I have?”
This was the reason she’d accepted the offer. Whatever she was about to tell me was what she must have been warring with herself about with regard to taking the job. It was the reason she’d put up with all the bullshit I’d given her. I leaned in slightly before stopping myself. If I cared about her problems, I’d be emotionally invested in her. That would prove disastrous. “Are you asking for special treatment, Miss Jackson? On your first day?”
The helpless look in her blue eyes cut me deep. Cut me hard enough to leave a scar.
“No, no, I’m not. I shouldn’t have wasted your time with this.” She rose from her seat. No sarcasm, no insults, no returning my jabs at her in her fragile state.
It was too much, even for me to bear. She turned toward the door so that her back was to me and I couldn’t see her face. There was no way I could be this ugly to her on her first day and allow her to leave my office in her current state. I could’ve for any other employee, and that ate at my convictions. But if she’d taken another step toward the door, the guilt coursing through my body would’ve combusted.
“Is it serious?” I heard something in my voice I hadn’t heard in a long time. Concern.
She froze in her tracks. One of her hands moved up to her face; from what I could see it looked like she covered her mouth. She nodded and appeared to be trembling. If I’d made Jenny Jackson cry on her first day, I don’t think I’d ever have been able to forgive myself. Thank God I knew she was too strong and proud to ever let me see it.
“Sit back down and tell me what you need.”
She took a brief moment and seemed to compose herself. I heard a large exhale, and she turned back around. Her eyes were the slightest bit puffy but otherwise she looked like she had when she walked into the room. This had to be difficult for her. Smart, intelligent, dignified women like her didn’t ask for favors, they didn’t back down—they didn’t break. Jenny Jackson looked like she was teetering on the edge of broken.
She sat back down in the chair, reservation in every movement.
“Tell me what you need.”
She looked away and I wanted her eyes on me. Not so I could watch them hurt, but because I wanted her to know that deep down inside of me somewhere I did actually care. And showing her at least a tiny glimpse might make her hate me a little less.
“Jenny.”
Her gaze returned and warmed me like a fireplace in winter. I think it was the first time I’d called her by her first name.
“I’m not unreasonable.” I held my hands out at the contracts littering my desk. “I just have a lot of work going on and it’s tedious.” Don’t apologize to her, Ethan. “Sorry about my initial reaction. Just tell me what it is you need, please.” Sorry? Please? You pussy.
She smiled the slightest bit, and then it faded as fast as it had formed. Nothing at that moment in time could’ve been more unbearable than not knowing what was running through her mind.
“It’s my father. He’s sick. Has been for a while.” She glanced to the wall again, peering at the various pictures of me with different professional athletes.
“Go on.” I leaned toward her, all of my work for the day, and really everything else in the world, fading off into the distance.
“Well, he’s all I have really. I’m his caretaker. I mean, my friend helps me a lot and makes working easier. But, on the really bad days I need to be there with him.”
Great. I should’ve let her walk out the door, but I just couldn’t. The company didn’t make exceptions like this, even for employees who had been there longer than her. I needed people when I needed them and I paid about twice the average salary for employees and showered them with benefits because I wanted the best, and I wanted them available to me at any time. Sure, I worked them hard, and they were rewarded for their hard work. That’s what I told myself anyway.
Life happened to everyone, not just Jenny Jackson and her perfect smile and beautiful eyes and sharp wit. What would happen when other people saw her leaving early or not at her desk? They would all talk among themselves. They’d know I had a thing for her. It could bring productivity to a halt. As much as I felt horrible for her situation, I couldn’t allow it.
“I’m sure we can work something out.”
What the fuck, dude?
Chapter 5
Jenny Jackson
I’d been at Mason and Associates for a few weeks and as far as I knew I was doing well. Ethan and I hadn’t encountered each other much and perhaps that was why. He’d been out of town for business most of the time. I couldn’t figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Every time I thought he couldn’t be more of an asshole, he’d surprise me with some hint of kindness. What did that mean? Maybe he was just like that with everyone.
It was odd though. He’d been a pompous asshole when I’d asked about time off, then right when I was about to leave, he’d softened. He’d said the company would work with me about taking time off to care for my father. I’d gone in with every intention of telling him everything about my situation, that my dad had cancer and that it was terminal. Ethan was so cold and rigid that at first I was just focused on getting out of his office as soon as possible. I’d already been on edge about asking for help. It wasn’t something I enjoyed doing. I’d had to swallow my pride just to work up the nerve to walk to his office.
Ethan was confusing and constantly had my head spinning like a top trying to figure him out. Most guys were either assholes or nice, there wasn’t much middle ground. The ones I’d encountered anyway.
I didn’t know, but what I did know was that I needed to keep my head down and impress people. My first three months were a probationary period and they could fire me without reason during that time. All they had to say was that it wasn’t working out.
The company was on the bottom two floors of an old building that used to be a bank. It was an open floor plan with high ceilings, with the exception of Ethan’s office, which loomed overhead with a large window so he could look down on the cubicle farm.
Typical.
I’m sure he wanted to feel like he had control over everything and could always see what everyone was doing. By all accounts, he was an extreme micromanager. He wanted to know every detail of the operations and he wanted it all done his way.
The accounting manager’s name was Gina. I liked Gina. She knew what she was doing and her organizational skills were most definitely on point. She had a system and it ran like clockwork. My job title was staff accountant, though I was told I’d occasionally be an analyst. Most of the work was balancing ledgers and journal entries, and I’d yet to be given any type of analytical assignment.
I sat at my cubicle with a hip-high wall around it, so that we could all talk back and forth among ourselves. Occasionally voices boomed from the offices of the senior agents who made up the perimeter, usually yelling about some kind of deal and telling someone to stop being cheap.
Gina stopped at my work area and rested her hand on the wall. “You coming to eat lunch?”
“Sure. Give me just a second.” I saved the Excel workbook I’d been using to balance an account and logged out of my computer. Gina walked toward the breakroom, her heels clacking on the tile and echoing off the neutral-colored walls. The place had no personality at all.
I stood and adjusted my black skirt down my legs a few inches. I’d already fallen into a pattern with my outfits. Monday through Thursday were skirt days, all knee-length and rotated between black and gray. Fridays were reserved for slacks or khakis because I was a rebel.
Phones rang and keyboards clicked around me as I strode to meet up with everyone. The breakroom was off in the corner through a small entryway, and it consisted of one table that could seat about eight people, a refrigerator, sink, and dishwasher. It was also where the coffee was, so it was a pretty popular area to congregate when Ethan was out of town. I had a feeling the crowd was much smaller when he was in the building.
I walked to the refrigerator to grab my lunch, which I brought every day. A lot of people would order food to the office or go pick something up, but I couldn’t afford luxuries like that. Medical bills for Dad were adding up quickly. Once Gina bought me lunch and expensed it to the company. She would charge it to the firm and hide it in the office expense account. It was a perk of being accountants.
David and Jill—the other staff accountants—sat around the table, and the work chitchat had already begun.
“Davis is always late with his commission reports.” David took a huge bite of some kind of salad wit
h fruit in it. His wife had been demanding he eat healthy. She went through phases like that, he said. He cringed and washed the bite down with a diet soda.
“Oh my God, I know. He puts me behind every week.” Jill shook her head and took a huge bite of a panini from a bistro around the corner.
David stared and practically salivated. “I will pay you fifty dollars for one bite of that sandwich.”
I snorted and pulled a ham and cheese sandwich from my baseball-themed insulated lunch box. It had been a gift from Kelsey to celebrate my two-week work anniversary.
Gina shook her head at David. “She’s really sticking to this diet thing, isn’t she?”
David stabbed a piece of lettuce. “She’ll fold. Our anniversary is in two weeks and I’m taking her to the nice Italian restaurant where we had our first date.” He pointed at Gina with his fork after shoveling lettuce into his mouth. “The fettuccini Alfredo is going to knock her off the wagon. Then I’ll have freedom from this shit.” He stared down at the salad and sighed. “Fruit in a salad. This has to be a European thing.”
I coughed a laugh while Gina and Jill grinned at David’s possibly temporary misfortune. Mason and Associates wasn’t the most exciting job, I thought, but I was quickly falling in love with my coworkers.
“So, you’re a baseball fan?” David nodded to my lunch box.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“Okay, just stop for a second.” Jill put down her sandwich and leaned in next to me. “Ethan’s out of town right now, and rumors have trickled down. Did you really school him on baseball stats at your interview?” Her eyebrows raised slightly.
My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I covered my mouth and nodded.
“Oh, I bow down to you.” David smiled. “Those are brass balls you’re working with over there, Jackson.”
It was a wonder I hadn’t lost weight since going to work there. David was hilarious and I could barely eat during our lunches. He had two kids, three and five years old, and his wife stayed home with them. Apparently, he heard about it every day when he got home before he could even sit down, which meant we heard about it the next morning.
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