When I looked at the current balance in my bank account it seemed like way too much money.
“What the hell?” I refreshed the Web browser. Everything stayed the same. Great, another problem I had to deal with.
I scrolled down trying to figure out what the issue was. It didn’t take long, considering most of the expenses were medical bills that were set up on auto-draft.
Kelsey froze in her tracks. “What is it?”
“None of the medical payments came out of the account this month. Jesus, I can’t catch a break. I’ll have to call them.” I picked up my phone. I’d forget if I didn’t handle it right now.
I dialed the hospital business department—I had them on speed dial—and a lady answered.
Kelsey stuck around, presumably in case I had another meltdown. After a few long pauses, and some clicking of keys, the lady informed me Dad’s accounts were paid up. I hung up the phone.
My heart thumped with excitement and I stared at Kelsey with a stupid, sheepish grin on my face.
“What? What is it?” she asked.
“A cancer nonprofit paid all of Dad’s bills.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Kelsey squeed, again. She was turning into a squee girl.
I sat my laptop aside and jumped up to hug her. She wrapped her arms around me like a python, threatening to cave my chest in. I didn’t care.
“This is fucking amazing!” she said in my ear.
I took a step back and covered my mouth, all of it sinking in. My eyes misted and the waterworks started. Happy tears, all of them. I rushed over and gripped Dad harder than he was expecting apparently. I got the familiar back pat he was so damned good at delivering. I sobbed into his shoulder and his hand ran through my hair, pulling me closer. I’d cried more in the last six months than I had my entire life.
I glanced back and I swear Kelsey’s eyes were watering, even though she’d never admit it. She didn’t cry about anything, ever. It was kind of her thing, to the point she bragged about it on occasion.
“I really have to go, you guys. But just—” She grinned a big toothy smile. “This is so amazing! Even with you crying like a little bitch, this is so amazing!” She laughed and sprinted over and hugged Dad and me at the same time. “I love both of you.” She gave us each a kiss on the forehead and ran toward the door. “Oh, and, Jenn. I can stay with him a few days so you can get back to work.” Her smile turned devilish. “Text him. Okay, thanks, bye!” She waved super-fast and ran out the door before I could scold her.
I turned my gaze to Dad.
“Go, call that boy. You’re interrupting the game.” He chuckled.
“Fine!” I finger-combed his hair and smiled one more time before walking over to my phone.
Dad’s eyes were on me the whole time, even though he pretended to be watching the game every time I looked at him.
“Will you stop? Seriously.”
“Didn’t say a word.”
I snatched my phone and swiped the screen. What was I going to say to Ethan? What was there to say? Keep it short and sweet.
Me: My dad is back home. He’s okay.
Within seconds the dots were bouncing up and down on the screen, Ethan typing a reply.
Ethan: Thanks for letting me know. I’m sorry.
Me: Me too.
There was an awkward pause. Dad stared at me. I could see it out of the corner of my eye. For some reason I couldn’t peel my eyes from my phone to scold him for being nosy.
Ethan: Are you coming back to work?
That answered the question as to whether or not I still had a job. I couldn’t believe he hadn’t let me go. It felt all wrong. Anyone else and Ethan wouldn’t have let them past security. I didn’t like people doing me favors. Despite Dad’s bills being paid, we could still use the money, and it was my dream job. But what about Ethan and me? He knew how to heat me up, but he knew how to turn me to ice just the same. There was no middle ground with us.
Me: Can I think about it and let you know?
I wanted to go back tomorrow. I wanted things the way they were before the other night. What I wanted most of all was for him to just ask me out like a normal person, and then more of what happened before the phone call. I scissored my legs and my face burned hot just thinking about it.
Ethan: Sure, just let me know.
Chapter 14
Ethan Mason
I sat in my boxers watching SportsCenter, checking my phone for updates from work. Several days had passed since Jenny let me know her father was okay. I wasn’t sure how to take her text messages; so few words were typed, and yet so many different meanings could have come from them.
At least her dad was okay; that was all that really mattered. Meanwhile, I was a hot fucking mess. I’d told everyone at the office that I was out of town. They couldn’t see me wallowing in self-pity, not to mention I didn’t want Jenny to feel uncomfortable on her first day back. What if she wasn’t over what happened between us? It would’ve been a disaster, and it was just better this way.
A few takeout boxes of Chinese food stared back at me from my coffee table. I never ate late at night. Scrubbing a hand up the stubble on my face, I sighed. What the fuck had happened to me? Routine, order, structure: these were the things that got me through every day. Regimens, planning—my life was one big itinerary. Until she came along and trashed everything like the Rolling Stones in a hotel room.
A knock at the door jarred me from my self-loathing pity session. Matt walked in. His wide smile turned to a frown when he saw me lounging on the couch.
I brushed a few lo mein noodles off my bare stomach and glanced up at him.
“What?” I gave him my patented “don’t start with me” look. It didn’t work.
“Jesus.” He chortled. “Well, this is interesting.”
I stood from the couch and clicked the television off with the remote. “I’m working from home.”
“I see that. I stopped by the office and they told me you were out of town. I didn’t buy it so I swung by.”
I started to ask if he’d seen Jenny. It was the first thing that popped into my mind, but I knew I’d catch shit for it. I would probably catch shit regardless.
“Yes, I saw her.”
Fucker. This was the problem with best friends. The assholes always knew what you were thinking. I brushed his comment away with a wave of my hand. “How were things running?”
“She looked good. Happy even.” He ignored my question as usual.
A tingling sensation overwhelmed my senses. I stopped pacing around the living room and stared. “Good. Was everyone goofing off or were they doing actual work?”
“This shit is ridiculous. Stop acting like I don’t know what this”—he pointed at me and then the Chinese food on the table—“is all about. She’s going to make you lose those pretty abs of yours, you know?”
I gasped, rubbing the tight ridges of my stomach, and attempted to deflect with humor, once again. “Never.”
“You need to get your ass dressed and get to work. Seriously.”
His voice was harsh. There was no avoiding the conversation, so I dropped my stare to the floor and shook my head. “She needs some more time. I’m just giving her some space.”
“Nope, try again.” He shook his head.
“You’re a real fucking pain in the ass sometimes. Do you know that?”
“Yep.” He grinned and nodded.
“Fine. Maybe—” I glanced up at him and then back down. “Maybe, I’m just not ready to see her yet.”
“Go on.” He did that thing where he twirled his index finger in front of me, as if to say, Stop fucking around and spit the rest out.
“Look, I don’t know, okay? I don’t like not knowing. I don’t know what to make of any of this shit. I want things how they were and I want her. Is that what you want to hear?”
“Say it.”
I gritted my teeth and shook my head at him, both hands on my hips. “I am—” I looked away at the wall.
I turned back to him and furrowed my brow. “I’m afraid, okay? I’m fucking scared of what will happen. If I see her.”
He shrugged. “Was that so fucking hard to say?”
I nodded, a slight grin forming. “Yeah, motherfucker. It was actually. Thank you for asking.”
“It’s what I’m here for.”
“Is there a moral to this inquiry?”
“I think you know what it is…” He mocked me in a falsetto, drawing out the last word.
I did and I didn’t. Why was this shit so difficult? The woman who gave birth to me was the answer. God, she fucked me up good. Who knows where I’d be if she hadn’t done what she did. Maybe I’d be married, have a family. She’d made it so that I felt I needed to choose between women and my business.
I still hadn’t found a way to forgive her, and I had tried. I tried really hard. But how could she just fucking leave? Who leaves their five-year-old kid and doesn’t look back? No birthday cards, no Christmases, no kissing my knee when I fell off my bike and scraped it. Dad had to sell his business to pay her half of the money, because she wouldn’t accept alimony payments. He was miserable in a cubicle farm the rest of his life to provide for us. I wasn’t going to end up like that. I was the goddamn one who ran the show and nobody was sticking me in a cage and chaining me to a desk.
My heart raced, blood pumping into my ears. This was why I didn’t think about her. “I need more time.”
Matt shook his head. “Nope. You need to go see her at the office. Clear the air.”
“What I should do is fire her for not showing up and not calling.”
“You’re not going to do that.” Matt snickered.
“The hell I won’t. She’s my employee, and she needs to have the same rules as everyone else!” My voice boomed off the walls of the house.
Matt walked up, so that our faces were about a foot apart. “She’s not your mother.”
“I don’t have a mother. And you’re right. She’s my employee.”
Matt stuck a finger into my chest. “You know what?”
My teeth ground together. “What?”
He turned and walked toward the door and then flipped around when he was about halfway there. “For a guy who thrives on statistics and numbers…” He did the goddamn air quotes again when he said “numbers.”
My face burned white hot.
“You base a lot of your personal decisions on one fucking obsession. Why don’t you think about that? Because you’re not being logical, and you’re making yourself miserable as fuck.”
He was right. I knew this. I’d always known this. Emotions were at play. Admitting that meant that I’d no longer have an excuse not to take action, though. Sticking to my guns was safer, less risk. I knew that Matt knew this, but who the fuck wants to admit they’re scared of a situation? Weakness breeds misery. It allows people to hurt you. I didn’t have to look past my father to know that.
“You act like I haven’t thought about that. Don’t you think I’d like to track my mother down? See her face? Forgive her and tell her everything I’ve done with my life? What if she doesn’t want to hear it though? What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me, Matt? Then what? I get to relive everything again like I’m five fucking years old?”
I glared, shaking my head.
“You think I don’t want to let my guard down with Jenny? Of course I do. But people let you down, bro. And it leaves some nasty fucking scars when they do.”
“Keep telling yourself your little story, man. I’m done trying to help.” He walked over and put a hand on my shoulder.
I couldn’t look him in the eye. Just stood there and took it, shaking my head.
“Look, I’m here for you no matter what you do.” He moved around so that I couldn’t avoid his pretty-boy face. He flashed his arrogant smirk that made it hard not to smile. “But you’re acting like a pussy. Ethan Mason is no pussy. He takes what he wants, and he doesn’t care what anyone thinks about it. I wouldn’t say this shit to you if you weren’t my best friend. So listen closely, and make sure you let this sink in.” He looked me dead in the eye, serious this time. “It’s time to make a fucking decision. Quit fucking around, quit telling people you’re out of town, shave that nasty shit off your face, stop shoveling carbs down your throat, and go handle your business.”
I glanced up and away at the ceiling, processing his words. I couldn’t do it, couldn’t face her. Every time I thought it all through, my brain told me to find a way to fire her and to ignore my dick and my heart. “Maybe you should just go.”
Matt’s face paled. We’d never really argued much before, unless it was goofing off. I wasn’t joking this time.
“All right then, if that’s what you want.”
“I’m sorry, and thanks for the advice. But I’ll take it from here.”
“Good luck.” Matt’s words sounded choked, like he’d expected another response and I’d hurt him.
That wasn’t the intention, but I’d deal with it when I was ready. Nobody was going to force me to do something I didn’t want to do. Not him. Not anyone else. I walked back to the couch and clicked the TV on.
Chapter 15
Jenny Jackson
I drew in a huge breath of downtown air and then pushed through the door of Mason and Associates. Everything looked the same as I swiped my badge and walked back to my cubicle. People smiled and grinned, something was up.
“Hey, glad you’re back.” David smiled.
“Sorry, my dad was sick for a little while.”
“Everything okay?” He turned back to his monitor with a spreadsheet filling the screen, but kept talking to me over his shoulder.
“Yeah, for now. What’s going on? Everyone’s in a good mood.”
David didn’t look, but raised a finger up to Ethan’s office. “The asshole is still out of the building.”
I chuckled at first, but I wondered where he had been. Something inside of me still wanted to see him, even though I knew it’d be awkward at best, tense at worst. “Where is he?”
“Out of town is what I heard.” Jill popped her head around the corner. “Good to have you back. We’re kind of behind.”
“I’m so sorry. I just, yeah. I’m going to be gone like that occasionally.”
“Surprised they let you take off like that. I’ve never seen anyone be gone that long unless they’re on vacation,” David said.
“Really?”
Jill popped her head around the corner again. “Mmhmm.” She grinned as if she knew some big secret.
Maybe Ethan was right about some things. He was playing favorites and even though my colleagues seemed to be joking about it now, that type of thing could easily turn into backlash. If I was being honest with myself, I knew it wasn’t going to end any time soon either. Dad was going to require more and more attention as the cancer stole more of him from me.
I was about to open up with them when I caught Matt Stallworth out of the corner of my eye. Shit.
I fidgeted with some papers on my desk. Matt didn’t make me nervous in the way Ethan did—it was a total baseball player crush. I was in love with his numbers, and what he did for my fantasy team. He’d been my secret ingredient for whipping Dad’s ass last year, and would be this year too.
Matt stopped to talk to someone who pointed in my direction. Oh no. I ducked down and stared at a few things from my inbox, pretending to be busy.
He was impossible to avoid, though. His footsteps pounded the floor, and soon a big hulking shadow loomed over me. The monitor on my desk flashed from the desktop to a screensaver.
Matt stopped at my workstation. “Jenny?”
My abs constricted, tightening into a knot. I spun around on my chair, expecting a smile. Matt was always smiling the last few times I’d met him. He seemed like a cheery guy. Not today, though. Today, Matt looked frightened, or worried.
“Hey.
What’s going on?” I tried not to let my fangirl voice make an appearance, though it was tough to hold back.
He leaned down and whispered, “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Sure.”
I followed on his heels to an empty conference room. People stared at us from all directions as we walked through the door.
“What’s going on?” I was sure this had to be about Ethan.
Matt paced back and forth, as if unsure of what he should tell me. “Ethan and I—umm—got into it earlier.”
“Okay?” I was confused. Was he wanting friendship advice? And had he just flown back from wherever Ethan was?
“It was odd. We never argue like that. It was about you. Well, most of it.” He paused. “I shouldn’t be telling you any of this. He didn’t look good, though.”
“Is he in town?” I scratched my head, trying to piece the puzzle together. I wasn’t happy with myself for making him stew so long, and I didn’t want him to be upset or cause problems with his friends outside of work. At the same time, he lied to me and kept me from Dad when he might have died. Granted, there was no way for Ethan to have known that, but it still happened. It wouldn’t have if he had been honest I think.
Matt waved a wild hand out at the office. “Yeah, he just told everyone he’s out of town. He couldn’t come in the office and face you.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“There are things—” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “There’s stuff I can’t tell you. It’s not my place. He’s a hot mess, though.”
“Maybe he should start being honest with people, and he wouldn’t find himself in these situations.”
Matt sighed. “Tell me about it.”
“So you know? That he lied to me? Made me do a bunch of unnecessary work and then kept me from my dad while he was sick?” I folded my arms across my chest and tapped a foot. It was my tell, but I couldn’t stop it. “What else did he say?”
Matt looked away, a slight grin forming on his lips.
My blood started to heat and I chewed on the inside of my cheek. Embarrassment commingled with the irritation now running through my system.
Bossed Page 9