Soulhated

by Sara Summers

  “Or we could just make out.” I shrugged, like I was nonchalant about the whole thing.

  “Or we could just get it over with by talking about it.” Cody wasn’t willing to budge on that.

  I sighed.

  “It’s ancient history. Logan and I dated a little, had sex a lot, and then parted ways. It was a mutual breakup, no broken hearts or hard feelings. That was four years ago, and I’ve never once wished I could go back and change anything.”

  As I described the nature of my relationship with Logan, his eyes started to yellow.

  The only way I thought I might be able to stop it was to touch him, so I took the two steps that brought my body to his.

  I wanted to say something sweet, along the lines of, “the only person I have feelings for is you”, but I couldn’t do that. As much as it hurt, I had to make him despise me.

  “Physical relationships have never been meaningful to me. The kissing, the sex, it’s just a distraction from life. Nothing more.”

  I was a terrible human being, and straight-up lying on top of it. Nothing about my physical relationship with Cody had been meaningless.

  Though at first I saw the hurt in his eyes, I watched it change into determination.

  “You want me to believe that when I kiss you, all you feel is a little excitement because it’s fun?” he leaned forward and brushed his lips against mine. The kiss was so gentle, just the tiniest touch, and it left me breathless.

  “Not even excitement.” I forced the words out. “It just takes away the boredom.”

  “So when I run my hand up your side, like this,” He placed one hand on the curve of my hip and used the other to run up and down the side of my hourglass-body. “All you feel is not bored?”

  “Exactly.” My throat was dry, too dry, but there was nothing I could do. If I reacted now, I’d be proving that I was lying.

  “What about when I touch your skin, like this?” he slipped his hand underneath the hem of the large t-shirt I’d stolen from his closet and trailed his fingers on the bare skin at my hip.

  I fought the urge to close my eyes and arch my body into him and beg him to keep going.

  “Nothing.” The words came out as a squeak, and I cursed myself for being such a pile of goo in those big, warm hands.

  His eyes flashed when I made the noise and he splayed his fingers out across the skin on my stomach. My eyes shut, and I fought to keep myself in control, to stop myself from reacting to him the way he wanted me to.

  “You can pretend not to want me, but your body tells the truth.” He said, in a voice more husky and gravelly than usual. “Maybe your physical relationship with everyone else wasn’t important to you, but with me, it always will be. We’re wolves, and being together physically is equally as important as being together emotionally.”

  When he pulled his hand off of my skin, I barely managed to stop myself from grabbing him and kissing him the way I had already done half a dozen times in the two and a half days we’d known each other.

  One thing was starting to become very clear to me. If I did manage to break Cody Burgandeau’s heart, I was going to leave just as broken as him.

  Quinn

  Hallie and I pulled up in Cody’s parents’ driveway again, and I hoped the second meeting would go a little more smoothly than the first.

  While I knew I should be making them hate me so Cody would be more inclined to do the same, I just didn’t have the heart. A lifetime of not being good enough for my own parents had left me desperate for approval from any sort of parental figure, including my soulmate’s.

  When a teenage boy opened the door, I raised my eyebrows. I hadn’t noticed him in the drama of everything that had happened earlier. Cody told me he had a younger brother, but I hadn’t imagined he’d be so large. He was nearly the same size as Cody and Tanner, who I’d been surprised to realize looked incredibly similar.

  “Hey.” He left the door open for us and headed back into the house. Sitting down in front of an already-made bowl of cereal, he picked up the phone he’d left on the table and went back to playing some video game.

  I’d forgotten that it was still early in the morning, so Cody’s brother was probably getting ready for school.

  “Who’s here, Artie?” Leah yelled from the other room.

  “Hallie and Quinn.” Artie yelled back.

  I winced at the noise. With wolf hearing, I didn’t know why they would ever need to yell.

  Leah hurried into the room, blowing a strand of dark hair out of her eyes. She had a laundry basket on her hip and a smile in her eyes. I’d been a little worried she’d hold my past with Logan against me, but she didn’t seem even a little bothered.

  “What can I do for you, girls?”

  “Quinn’s place is a wreck and we didn’t want to drive all the way back to my apartment for cleaning supplies. Do you have some we can borrow?” Hallie checked.

  “Of course. Do you need some help? I’ve got a few hours to spare this morning.” she asked.

  I would’ve had to be blind not to notice the hope in her eyes as she looked between me and Hallie.

  Hallie looked to me, since I was the crazy one. She was so nice that her answer would be an obvious yes.

  While I knew I should turn her down, I couldn’t. I’d gone my whole life wanting my mom to offer something as simple as a few hours of her life spent with me. With Leah looking at her two daughters-in-law like she wanted nothing more than to get to know us and spend time with us, I suddenly wanted the same thing.

  “That would be fantastic.” I smiled.

  “I just need to put the cleaning supplies in a basket and I’ll be ready to go. You can grab some breakfast if you’d like. There’s cereal in the pantry, fruit on the counter, and yogurt in the fridge.”

  I noticed her lift her hand to her eyes as she left the room.

  Was having a relationship with us so important that us letting her clean with us for a few hours could make her cry?

  “The pack thing has been really hard for mom.” Artie said quietly, putting his phone down on the table, the game forgotten. “It’s nice of you to let her spend the day with you.”

  He thought it was nice of us to agree to her help? I was almost overwhelmed by the fact that she had even offered.

  “It’s nice of her to ask.” I stepped into the kitchen and eyed the fruit on the counter that Leah had mentioned. I didn’t want to intrude if she’d just been offering to be nice. “My mother wouldn’t spend the day with me for a million dollars, and she wouldn’t spend it cleaning for a hundred.” I muttered, weighing my options before I just gave in and grabbed a banana.

  “What?” Artie and Hallie both looked at me with surprised expressions.

  When I peeled my banana and ignore their questioning, Hallie admitted,

  “I don’t have a good relationship with my mom either.”

  Huh. I hadn’t seen her for someone with mommy or daddy issues. She seemed far too whole to be in the same boat as me family-wise.

  “Alright, I’m ready.” Leah came out into the living room with a smile on her face and a different, smaller laundry basket on her hip. This one was full of cleaning supplies. She’d put her hair up in a ponytail on top of her head and was wearing an old faded t-shirt and jeans.

  I’d never seen my own mother look that casual, or that genuinely happy.

  “Artie, can you grab some towels and rags from the closet and bring them out to Tanner and Hallie’s truck?” She called out as she headed for the front door.

  Hallie grabbed an apple off the counter, and I grabbed another banana for the road.

  I realized on the way back to my dump of a house that I’d made my decision to choose my parents over Cody and his family far too quickly. That decision wasn’t going to be an easy one, and I would need to know with certainty before I chose one way or another.

  Cody

  The last thing I expected when I walked into Quinn’s house was to hear piano music blaring loudly while my
mom and soulmate and sister-in-law laughed about something together. Loud piano music and my mom’s laughter had been staples of my childhood, so adding Quinn to that mix made me feel all kinds of warm fuzzy things that I couldn’t express.

  When I met Tanner’s gaze, I could see in his eyes that he was feeling similar warm fuzzies. In the short time Tanner and Hallie had been together, the pack drama had wrecked our family. Hallie and our mom had never spent any time together, and before everything with the packs we had always been close to our mom.

  “Maybe we should leave for a while.” Tanner suggested, glancing back at my truck.

  The piano music paused.

  “We can hear you!” Quinn yelled, and we could hear her loud-and-clear through all of the three broken windows. I couldn’t help it; a grin took over my face.

  “Come on in, boys! There’s a lot to do!” Mom called out.

  “We can still bond while you’re listening!” Hallie added.

  “Alright, alright.” Tanner met my grin with one of his own. We headed inside with our tools.

  The piano music resumed, and we got to work on the stairs while the women picked their conversation back up. Tanner and I eavesdropped unapologetically. My mom was telling them about how my dad had won her over, and her stories about that time were always entertaining.

  “So Ty seriously had to bargain with bacon to convince you to even let him into your apartment?” Quinn checked.

  The grin I wore was starting to hurt my cheeks, but it was a pain I was more than willing to suffer. My soulmate wasn’t trying to get rid of me or talking about sleeping with another man, so I had to enjoy every second of her.

  “He did.” I heard the smile in my mom’s voice.

  As their conversation went on, an indescribable feeling grew inside me. It felt suspiciously like love.

  Quinn

  When Hallie and Leah left that night, it was almost midnight. We had managed to finish deep-cleaning the entire house, so it smelled like lemons with only a hint of death rather than death with a hint of mildew.

  We’d gone back to Leah’s house for lunch. It was only a six-minute walk through the forest, and it had been nice to breathe a little fresh air. While we were there, we made a list of all of the things that needed to be done. Then we’d made a list of all the things that could be done to make the place feel more like home.

  I’d mentioned scheduling some companies to come out and get everything done in the next week or two, but Leah had shot down that idea immediately. She was determined to help me with all of the easy stuff, and said that the boys would do everything else.

  The millionaire in me grimaced at the idea of doing all the work with my own hands, but part of me felt hopeful that maybe it could be a fresh start. A new house, a new family, a new life.

  I wanted that so badly it hurt.

  After a long day of cleaning and repairs, the last thing me or Cody wanted was to go out to his apartment and haul his mattress back to my house, so after we said goodbye to Leah and Hallie, we climbed into his truck.

  He’d asked me as we got in the car if I wanted to go to the pack meeting they were having that night, but I’d been quick to turn that one down. I wasn’t ready to meet his wolf pack when I was still trying to decide whether or not I was going to get rid of him.

  We’d spent the entire day in the same house but not together. We hadn’t spoken, and had only exchanged glances a few times.

  We drove the first few minutes in silence. I contemplated spilling my guts to him, telling him how much I loved his family and ached to be a part of it. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want him to sign away our relationship, but that I didn’t have a choice. I wanted him to know that his touch sent fire racing through my veins and that when he touched me I felt whole.

  But that wasn’t an option, not when it meant it would only be that much harder to break his heart.

  While I knew it would be better if I didn’t say anything at all, I felt like I needed to connect with him in that simple, basic way. We hadn’t spoken since that morning, and I missed him.

  “I’m going to the hardware store with your mom in the morning.” I offered. It was the safest thing to say, since I felt like I had to say something.

  “Yeah?” Cody met my eyes in the rearview mirror. That simple connection was enough to warm me to my core, and not in a sexual way. With one simple look, Cody made me feel smart and important.

  “Yep.” I bit my lip and looked away, hating myself for reacting to him the way I did. I was supposed to hate him—he was supposed to hate me.

  I tried not to say anything else, but I wasn’t strong enough to fight the desire just to talk to him.

  “We’re going to order the new cabinets, appliances, and countertops, and then we’re going to pick out some paint and tile. After that, we’re going to do some online shopping for furniture and decorations.” I added. When he didn’t reply right away, I continued. “I already know what I like, but would you want to look at some pictures with me and show me what you like?”

  I knew I shouldn’t have asked him, I knew I shouldn’t have even let myself start a conversation with him, but I couldn’t help it. Cody was my soulmate, and I wanted to feel that link between us from my head to my heart.

  He met my gaze in the mirror again, just for a second. That second was long enough for me to see the intense emotions storming in his eyes.

  “Sure.” His focus returned to the road fast enough for me to doubt whether I’d seen his eyes at all.

  Cody

  I hadn’t realized that the smell of citrus could be seductive until Quinn stepped out of the bathroom with her wet hair falling around her shoulders and down her back. She was wearing one of my t-shirts without any pants, of course.

  She stepped past me, her body brushing mine for a brief second before she slipped under the blankets on my bed with a large tablet in her hands.

  I swallowed hard and forced myself into the bathroom. I’d been planning a long, cold shower to prep me for a night of trying to stop myself from letting things go too far with Quinn, but that idea flew out the window almost as soon as I was in the shower.

  Thanks to her shampoo and body wash, her scent was almost as strong in the shower as it was coming straight off her skin. Just being in there with that sweet, citrusy smell was doing a number on my cold-shower resolve.

  I ended up back in the bedroom with Quinn five minutes later, my skin cold and my heart pounding. She looked up from her tablet and gave me a small smile. She’d propped herself up on her side with her elbow, and was holding the tablet in the crook of her arm while she used her other hand to navigate.

  When I hesitated in the doorway, she lifted the blanket and gestured for me to join her.

  I slowly crossed the room and slid under the blankets with her.

  The first three nights we spent together, Quinn had already been asleep when I got in bed with her, when I’d gotten in bed with her at all. An awake, relaxed Quinn was one I didn’t really know what to do with.

  I carefully got settled in behind her, her back pressed gently against my front, my head above hers so I could see over her shoulder.

  “So this is what I like,” She clicked a few buttons and then opened some kind of a folder on the website full of pictures of things.

  Using her finger to scroll through pictures, she showed me examples of houses and decorations similar to the apartment she shared with Beth. I wasn’t surprised by what she showed me, because it matched her personality perfectly. Sleek and modern, her taste in decorations could only be described the same way as her body.

  Sexy.

  I liked that about her. Loved it, even.

  I appreciated that she was confident in her body and in the way she looked. She knew what she wanted and what she liked, and while she and I didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye on much, it was an incredibly attractive quality.

  “What do you like?” she checked, turning her face a little to meet my eyes. With her soft
body barely pressing into mine and her hair brushing against my face, I could’ve sworn I’d somehow ended up in heaven.

  It took some serious effort to focus my mind on what she’d asked rather than the way her soft lips looked as she spoke.

  “I like this.” I gestured to the steel appliances in one of her pictures. She nodded. “And I like the cabinets in this one.” I clicked on a different picture. “But I think the countertop should be white, not black. The black doesn’t make it very homey.”

  “Alright.” Quinn nodded, slowly this time. “Show me what else you like.”

  I navigated through her pictures, pointing out things I liked and things I didn’t like. Every time I tried to stop, she asked me to keep going. It became clear with everything I pointed out that our tastes in decorations were mostly similar with one main difference.

  She liked things that looked professional, and I liked things that looked homey.

  When she finally closed the cover over her tablet and put it on the floor beside my mattress. Though I didn’t know where her income came from, I knew that money wasn’t a problem for Quinn so it wouldn’t be long before the house was pristine both in its condition and its appearance.

  She yawned and got out of bed.

  I sat up quickly.

  While I hadn’t been enthusiastic about cuddling with her at first, after the most peaceful hour of my life with my soulmate in my arms, I never wanted to stop.

  “What are you doing?”

  I worried she would go after Sebastian again.

  “Shh. I’m just turning off the light.” Her voice was light and airy.

  Her words both calmed me down and made my stomach clench.

  Was I really just going to let myself fall further and further in love with a woman who was determined to break me?

  When she slipped back under the blankets and tangled her legs with mine, I knew the answer without a shadow of doubt.

  I would give Quinn my heart and then hand her a sledgehammer if she asked me to. She was quickly becoming everything to me.