“I thank you for saying all of this, Nigel.”
“It’s my pleasure, I assure you,” he replied with a bow of the head. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go and prepare tea.”
“Go,” Katherine replied.
She stood on the lawn for a few moments more before deciding to return to the duke’s study and carry on with her midday report as planned. If Lord Garret was still there, then so be it. She would not be ashamed of her report, nor would she back down. If he were to confront her right then and there, Katherine would explain her opinion to him in a calm manner.
Alas, she would also try to distract herself from the strange sensations that coursed through her body whenever she was near to the duke’s brother. These sensations were getting stronger by the day.
Chapter 7
As Katherine returned to the door to the study, she was well aware that both the duke and his brother were still inside. She gently knocked upon the door, more determined than ever to clear her name and ensure that she would have a long and fruitful career at Bonhomie.
“Come in, Katherine,” she heard the duke’s voice call out. Katherine gently opened the door and poked her head inside. The two men both cast their gazes upon her, and the electricity that was created therein was enough to make Katherine’s head spin.
“Good afternoon,” Katherine said with a bow of the head.
“Good afternoon,” Lord Roland replied. “Please, be seated.”
Katherine walked into the room further and felt Lord Garret’s eyes upon her the entire time, watching her like a hawk. After Katherine seated herself, she took a breath for courage and began. “Everyone is behaving rather well today. Arithmetic and reading were the popular favorites. But Harry and Constance do talk much of how they wish to spend more time with their uncle,” Katherine said, turning to look at Lord Garret and not backing down. She looked deep into his brown eyes and felt her heart flutter.
“That is all good news,” the duke replied.
“Tell us of the progress overall,” Lord Garret said, not backing down from Katherine’s gaze. In fact, Katherine thought she saw a little smile come to his lips and it caused her to look away.
I will not let these frightful nerves get the best of me.
“Overall, as I have discussed with the duke, the children are getting along handsomely. At first I worried that Constance would not take to me, but now we’re becoming fast friends.”
“You’re not supposed to be her friend, you’re supposed to be her governess,” Lord Garret said bitingly.
“But how can she be open to my lessons if she does not trust me?” Katherine asked.
“Trust has nothing to do with proper education.”
“Trust has everything to do with proper education. Why would you ever wish to learn from someone that you did not trust?”
Lord Garret seemed to stop and consider Katherine’s words with keen interest. Then he looked back at her again, those brown eyes shining on her, and Katherine stood tall.
“How is her arithmetic improving then?” Lord Garret asked.
“It’s improving leaps and bounds,” Katherine replied.
Lord Garret paused and slowly walked towards where Katherine sat. The sound of his heavy boots was all that could be heard in the room. He leaned his hand upon the desk so that he could get closer to her. Katherine had the thought that she must back away in the face of such a breach of personal space, but she did not.
“Can I ask you something?” Lord Garret said.
“I wish that you would,” Katherine replied.
“Does it really even matter if she learns arithmetic at all? It’s etiquette that she must learn.”
Katherine felt her face turn red with fury. Surely Lord Garret was merely trying to get under her skin, for who would think of saying such a thing?
“Constance has every right to learn arithmetic like all the other children in Britain. Just because she is a girl who shall turn into a woman doesn’t mean that she should have no brain.”
Lord Garret slowly stood back up, his eyes narrowing as he continued to look at Katherine.
“This has all gone too far,” the duke finally said, throwing his hands into the air. “Brother, I was the one that suggested she learn arithmetic. And Katherine is right. Just because she is female doesn’t make arithmetic unnecessary."
Lord Garret turned his back on both of them as though he were done with the conversation. He walked towards the window and looked out of it. From the way that he gazed out Katherine could sense that there were many things on his mind that he wished to say, but Lord Garret did not utter them.
“I have seen a great deal of improvement in the children,” the duke finally said, breaking the silence. “Both in their manner and in their skills. Although my brother has a more traditional perspective on this matter, I think that it’s best for my children to have a more progressive education. It would be what their mother would have wanted.”
After that, Lord Garret turned his head to look at his brother, then he looked sharply back at Katherine once more. What was he trying to imply?
“I can honestly admit that my methods are unconventional,” Katherine went on. “But from the bit of schooling that I did for my own younger sister, I see that play and happiness are the best vehicles for transporting knowledge to the mind. We learn through experiences. And yes, we also learn through laughter. I am fully confident that Harry and Constance are going to grow up to be bright, charming adults.”
“Do you truly believe that an education must make someone charming?” Lord Garret asked.
“I think that . . .” Katherine faltered, unsure how to reply. She could feel the duke’s gaze upon her and she had to think quickly for a suitable response. “I think that charm is a marvelous human quality. Nations have been conquered and battles have been won on charm alone.”
“I’ve had about as much of this as I can take,” Lord Garret said, walking towards the door.
“Brother, don’t go,” the duke called out to him.
“No one cares to listen to the truth in this house,” Lord Garret said, turning back. “Everyone wants the life that the name of this house suggests. Bonhomie! How charming. No, lady, nations are not conquered and wars are not won on charm. There are plenty of charming people, like yourself, who lose everything that they have because they think they can do it all on charm. I hate to be the one that informs you that charm is a falsity. It’s meant to cover pain. Good day.”
With that Lord Garret exited the room, closing the door behind him rather forcefully.
“I fear that that did not go well,” Katherine said, taking a deep sigh. Although Lord Garret left the meeting in no uncertain terms, Katherine still had to be proud of how courageous she had remained throughout.
“It’s difficult to get through to him,” the duke said, leaning back in his chair. “It has always been this way.”
“He has always been so forceful in his opinions?”
“Since he was a young boy. It’s funny, I often think that the older brother should be the one with all the opinions. He should be the chap that bosses people around. But in terms of my brother and I, this has never been the case.”
“He despises me,” Katherine said.
“I don’t think that he despises you, Katherine. He just wants what is best for the children.”
“And he does not believe that I am what’s best.”
“No,” the duke replied candidly. “Sadly, he does not.”
Katherine took a moment to allow the truth to sink in. It was as plain as day, his disdain for her. The fear of losing her job welled up within her once more.
“He'll make sure to send me home,” Katherine said.
“He cannot send you home unless I allow him to, and as of now, that is not something that I can allow.”
Katherine felt hope banish the fear in her chest. “But he has done all the firing before.”
“That is because I have allowed it. Things have change
d.”
“You’re a very kind man, M’Lord,” Katherine said, thinking it far too intimate a setting to say such a thing, but the words seemed to fly out of her mouth.
“I’m not so sure.”
“It’s true.”
The duke gazed into her eyes warmly. Yes, there was something decidedly different about his eyes. They were calm and open, whereas Lord Garret’s eyes were fire and ice all at the same time. If the duke was a mix of spring and fall, Lord Garret was all winter and summer.
“You best be returning to the children,” Lord Roland said.
“Yes, they probably are wondering what has taken so long.” Katherine got up from her chair hastily, not wishing to linger for too long. As she walked quickly to the door, the duke stopped her.
“Katherine,” he said.
“Yes, M’Lord?” she asked, turning back to him.
“I’m grateful to have you here. Every day, I am grateful.”
“I am grateful, as well, M’Lord,” Katherine replied, turning and opening the door. Her heart was fluttering in her chest. The duke’s words warmed her no end. Yes, he did want her to stay at Bonhomie. There was nothing that brought her greater joy.
Stepping out into the hall, Katherine felt a forceful hand grab her own and begin to pull her. She nearly screamed until she looked over and found that Lord Garret was nearly dragging her down the hall. Should she protest? Should she put up a fight? Katherine decided to go along and see where he was taking her. Finally Lord Garret pulled her into an alcove, and his breathing was heavy. He turned towards her and looked into her eyes intently.
“I need you to understand something about these children,” Lord Garret began, his voice all seriousness.
“Yes, Your Grace,” Katherine said, thinking that she didn’t need to use such a title. But considering the position that they now found themselves in, it was best to show respect.
“Losing their mother nearly destroyed them both. I saw it with my own two eyes. In his grief, my brother could not see their suffering as clearly.”
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t have the least bit of understanding. The governesses that I selected for them freed them from their suffering, and they did it with discipline and a firm hand. Had they had a lackadaisical leader at that time, they would have never gotten through.”
“Yes,” Katherine replied, frightened of saying the wrong thing in response.
“Now, you say that you handle them with care, you teach them with play, and your aim is to be their friend. They do not need a new friend, Katherine, they need a determined heart that will show them the path to success.”
“I do have a determined heart, Your Grace,” Katherine replied.
Lord Garret paused and combed his hand through his hair, as though he were trying to make sense of something. Lord Garret looked back at her, his gaze boring into her once more. Katherine was convinced that the duke’s brother was trying to look into her soul. He was searching in there for something; Katherine knew not what. Was he trying to see if he could trust her?
“There’s something about you, Katherine,” Lord Garret began to say, his expression pained.
“What do you mean?”
“There’s just something,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
Katherine was at a complete loss for words. Lord Garret was melting in front of her eyes. It seemed as though doubt was filling him, or regret. Whichever one it was, it seemed to be undoing him.
And within herself, Katherine had to admit that she felt partially undone as well. Being in that close proximity with Lord Garret was having a frightful impact upon her physiology. Her heart was fluttering, her cheeks were inflamed, and she could feel all of the blood coursing through her veins. What did it all mean? Was it merely fear? Indignation? Heavens, something within her told Katherine that it was some kind of deep desire.
Katherine knew that she had to flee, but instead she stood silently in Lord Garret’s presence. She watched as his chest continued to heave as he grappled with his thoughts. For Katherine’s part, she found that her thoughts had gone numb. All that she could feel were the sensations of her body.
“I must apologise,” Lord Garret finally said, taking a step back.
“You needn’t apologise, I should have —”
“No, no. You are doing what it is that you know,” Lord Garret said, closing his eyes and taking a breath. “This is a subject matter that pains me much.”
“You care for your niece and nephew.”
“It goes far beyond that, Lady Katherine.”
She was delighted in that moment that he called her Lady Katherine. It gave her unspeakable pleasure.
Although Lord Garret was softening Katherine still felt an intensity in her breast which she wished to express, and she was curious from whence Lord Garret’s passion came for his niece and nephew. It was unlike an uncle to be so fervent in terms of their care.
From what Katherine could tell, there was nothing in the duke’s behavior that suggested to her that he was lackadaisical in any way. In fact, she deeply sensed that the duke loved his children and would give anything for them. So why did Lord Garret feel the need to be so forward?
“Sir, I must assert myself yet again,” Katherine said, mildly self-conscious that she had just referred to the duke’s brother as ‘sir.’ “Not only will I give my undivided attention to your niece and nephew, I’m also exceedingly confident that I am the one that can care for them best. From what I can tell, they didn’t like any of their governesses in the past, and that led to a halting in their learning.”
Lord Garret appeared momentarily offended, as though she were debasing his choices for governesses that he had made in the past. “You’re overly confident,” he finally said.
“Not so,” Katherine assured him. “I’m merely speaking my mind. I can tell that you would like for me to be out of this job, and that’s something that I cannot stand by and watch. I care for these children more than you know, and now I’m fully invested in their wellbeing. That means that, in standing up for myself, I am also standing up for them.”
Katherine watched as Lord Garret considered her words and examined her with his sparkling eyes as though she were a scientific experiment. She did not falter and she did not turn away from this examination. She allowed Lord Garret to, essentially, have his way with her using his eyes. At the very least, that’s what it felt like for Katherine. He was drinking her in, and there was something remarkably tantalizing about it.
“Where did you get your spirit from?” He asked, with his voice full of suspicion.
“What do you mean?”
“Your spirit. It’s wild; that much is plain.”
“I do not think that I have a wild spirit in the least. If anything, I’d call myself remarkably firm-footed and rooted into the ground.”
“I think that you are wrong about yourself.”
“I’m wrong about myself?”
“Indeed. You do not see yourself clearly.”
“And you think that you see me more clearly?” Katherine asked.
Risky Rules of a Passionate Governess Page 8