She meant to reassure him, she did, but then Kai was there and her jail door was clanging open and he jerked her against his hard, hard body. His scent teased her brain, all fresh and clean, soap and sunshine, smooth flesh and maleness. It chased away the grime and unwashed bodies of the prison, the filth and despair that mingled to create a revolting smell the brain shrank away from. His warmth melted her, and his gaze took her to a place where resistance was as useless as a raindrop in a thirsty man’s mouth.
He tangled his fingers in her hair and tilted her face up to his, his gaze a poisoned arrow piercing her, holding her in place with the sharp spike of rage. “Fuck,” he ground out, and with Constantine’s helpless threats a tiny sound in the background, he lifted her and carried her from the jail.
He didn’t talk to her, and she didn’t expect him to. She wanted to explain, wanted to tell him how sorry she was, but now was not the time. Now was the time to let him get that rage out of his system. And if he would allow her to, she’d show him he could trust her. But could he, truly?
There was little time for rumination, for which she was grateful. Kai’s every step was a stomp of anger and self-disgust as he took her from the jail. His arms were tight and hard around her, his face an unforgiving, granite-carved rock, his eyes staring straight ahead. His lips—those glorious, full, sexy lips that could turn from a sensuous, dangerous firmness to a tilting grin—were pressed together in a harsh line.
She wondered if he’d ever been this mad.
Kai Trinder wasn’t accustomed to his women going against him. Wasn’t used to the women to whom he gave his protection turning on him, putting someone else before him.
Carefully, she placed a hand against his chest, feeling the warmth through the fabric of his shirt. Cheekbone bouncing off his chest, she snuggled into him, willing him to soften. Don’t do something that can’t be undone, Kai. Don’t make me hate you. Don’t hurt me.
Because if he did, she wouldn’t lie still for it. She wasn’t that kind of woman, no matter how much she loved him.
She closed her eyes and gulped in the sweet, fresh air. “Oh God, I can taste it.” Her voice was only a whisper, but he heard her; when she opened her eyes, his gaze was upon her, something she couldn’t understand lurking in the depths.
“I wasn’t going to hurt you, Kai. I just had to try to save my brother’s life. It’s my fault he’s there.”
He jerked his gaze away from her, the rumblings of a growl deep in his chest. Still, he refused to speak.
“I know I did hurt you,” she said, her voice soft. “But—”
“Shut up!” His voice was pleading and demanding at once, his grip tightening enough to make her whimper in pain.
“Kai—”
At last they were inside his bedroom; he threw her onto the bed and kicked off his boots, then tore off his clothes and flung them to the floor.
Oh shit. “Kai…can we talk?”
His dark, hooded eyes stared at her, glassy and hard. “Clothes off. Now.”
She’d had enough. She jumped from the bed and stood on the far side, hands on hips. “If you’re looking for a fight, you’re going to get one!” Anger surged into her brain, covering the fear quite nicely. She could fight, but against Kai, she wouldn’t kid herself about the outcome. “I want a shower, a hot meal, and a cold drink. After that, if I’m so inclined, I might—”
He stalked her, a wild beast whose hunger was increased by the chase. With narrowed eyes and parted lips, he tracked her. He meant to have her.
A squeal ripped reluctantly from her throat, and she leaped across the bed, her heart beating like a delicate bird’s wings against the cage of her ribs.
Even in the midst of her fear, of her retreat, she took in his glorious body, his cock like a weapon, erect and ready before him as he padded after her. He had all the time in the world and knew it. In the end, she’d be his.
Eyes deceptively sleepy, he walked around the bed toward her. She ran for the door, blindly, her skin crawling as she waited for him to seize her. Weak, she grabbed for the doorknob, but instinct made her dart to the side instead.
She glanced back; he stood at the door, half smiling, but it wasn’t exactly a friendly smile. This smile sent shivers sliding icily down her spine. It also made her toes curl with desire.
He was enjoying himself a little too much.
The room was large, but there was little to block his advance. Like a wolf with a rabbit, he played with her. And when he caught her…
Light-headed, she ran.
She would leap atop and across the huge bed and make a dash to the bathroom, where she could lock the solid door and calm him down with that slight protection between them. Protection, hell. He’d kick it in.
She leaped, and he caught her in midair. Riding her down, he pushed her into the mattress, his heavy weight draped across her back.
“Did you really think you could get away?”
His low voice was silky chocolate. It slid over her skin like hot sin, waiting to be licked off.
“No,” she whispered. “Not really.”
She pushed her face into the covers, biting her lip. From beneath the fear, desire poked out its head, a stubborn flower pushing its way through frozen earth. His body burned through her clothes, his erection a hard line against her buttocks.
Kai…don’t. Oh God, yes…
He lowered his mouth, his breath a whisper of air against the back of her neck. His lips nipped softly, and he slid his tongue across her sensitive skin. Gentle, so gentle. Deceptive tenderness.
She gave a token resistance, unwilling to give in so easily to his mastery over her body. His low laugh sounded at her struggles, igniting a tiny flame of anger and pride, late in coming, deep inside her heart.
Did he not respect her?
She was about to change his opinion of her.
Ceasing her struggles, she gathered calm like a handful of sand. She pulled it to her and let each grain sift through her fingers. Her breathing quieted; the tightness in her chest eased.
She turned her head to the side and rolled her eyes up at him. “I can’t touch you like this.”
He didn’t move. His weight pressed in on her, heavy, confining. “When I’m ready for you to touch me, I’ll let you know.”
The sneer in his voice was loud, and she welcomed it. If she was going to fight Kai, she’d need every bit of anger she could find. He was hurting her, all right, but she was going to give as good as she got. At least, she was going to give it a fucking good try.
“Please, Kai.”
Maybe the softness of his name upon her lips moved him, for he shifted his weight enough to allow her to move. She turned to her back, still beneath him, and hooked an arm around his neck.
“We need to talk.”
“No. We need to fuck.”
She sighed. “Have it your way.”
He lifted an eyebrow and lowered his mouth to her throat. “I always do.”
“That was before me. Now you’re going to listen to what I have to say, or your dick isn’t getting near me.”
He raised his head, surprised. “The fuck?”
“Last chance.”
“Woman—”
She flipped him from the bed. Satisfaction lit her whole world when he landed with enough force to shake the house. Still, he didn’t stay down. Before she had time to do little more than jump from the bed, he was up.
His face held a comical mix of surprise and anger, and had she been a little more reckless and a little less afraid, she would have grinned.
“Come on,” she said, bringing up her fists.
His mouth fell open. “You think to fight me?”
“I think to gain your respect. And we are going to have a talk.”
His cock waggled, as though he was unsure whether to be turned on by the wrestling to come or turned off by a woman’s pathetic attempts at taking him on.
“I am a man, Sarah. I will not fight you.” He put his hands on his hips as
he stared her down, his cock pointing, proud proof of his manhood. “But I aim to fuck you until you scream for me to stop.”
“Afraid I can’t let you do that. Not until we talk.”
He laughed, and this time it actually reached his eyes. “I’m not asking your permission. Come now. This little show has softened me, and I will see that you enjoy yourself.”
She shuddered. “You’re an asshole. Do you know me at all?”
Impatient, he shrugged. “I know you have a body I long to sink into. Take off your clothes. That’s an order.”
“I refuse.”
“Sarah, I’m your protector. When I accepted you, you agreed to do everything I commanded of you.”
“I lied.”
“Yes,” he said, his eyes suddenly dark, stormy. “You did.”
“And that’s why I want to talk.”
“To tell more lies?”
“To explain.”
“Your brother already explained. It changes nothing.”
Her heart stopped, then sped up with frightening speed. “He explained?”
“He did.”
“Then…can you not forgive me for trying to save my family?”
He put a long finger to his chin, his mockery evident. “Yes, I suppose I can. But what I cannot forgive is your betrayal. And you would free the man who tried to end my life.”
“Oh God, Kai!”
“Obviously I mean nothing to you. I’m your protector, and I will decide later what to do with you.” He walked to the foot of the bed. “And before you get an idea to try to sway me with tears and begging, I should tell you, you mean nothing to me. I want your body. Nothing more.”
Well, she’d gotten the talk she wanted. It was a start. “I don’t believe I mean nothing to you.” She backed toward the door. “And surely you know I lo—”
He was on her with lightning speed. “Shut up! Do not say those words to me.”
Her back hit the wall hard enough to empty her lungs of air, and he gave her no time to recover her breath before he bent to lift her into his arms. “Now I’m going to do what I set out to do. The least you can do is lie still for it.” And once again, he carried her toward the bed.
But Sarah just wasn’t quite ready to go there.
Chapter Nineteen
It was difficult to go against him, especially since being in his arms was right where she wanted, so badly, to be. But if she gave in now, nothing would change. If she had any hope of working her way back into his life, his heart, she couldn’t just roll over and spread her legs whenever he demanded it.
“You’re not sending me back to the prison, are you?”
“No,” he said, carelessly. “I’ll find a place for you in the house, assign a guard, and visit you when I feel the need.”
No. No, his love couldn’t have turned so cold; it couldn’t have. But her anger was fast wearing off in the face of such cold, blunt cruelty. Pain took its place and dug sharp claws into her heart. “And my brother?”
“He’s going to die. Then you’ll not find your loyalty so torn.”
“I thought you were one of the good guys.” Her throat was so thick with tears that her voice hurt going past it.
He shrugged and tossed her to the bed. “Guess you were wrong. Get undressed.”
She stared up at him, silently cursing herself for the welling tears she couldn’t seem to stop. “I wasn’t wrong. I just don’t know how to make it right.”
“I told you crying wouldn’t move me.” His gaze was softer, despite his words. Still, he grasped her ankle and jerked off one boot, then the other. “I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone. And I curse myself for it.”
“Just because I—”
“Because I was a fool,” he snarled. “And I’m done talking. If you open your mouth once more to do anything other than moan or suck my dick, I will gag you.”
She drew her knees to her chest and kicked him in the stomach, as hard as she could. It was like kicking a brick wall, and she cringed at the shocking impact. He stood there, huge, muscled, and naked, yawning at something that would have sent a lesser man into the wall.
His eyes were no longer amused, though. “Next time you try to hurt me, Sarah, it’d better be foreplay.”
But she couldn’t go gently to the man who would end her brother’s life. The man whose respect she wanted to win, the man she loved.
And she really, really didn’t want to hurt him. Not just because she was afraid of retaliation, but because she cared.
She raised her chin. “I’m not a spineless person, Kai. I’ll not take orders like the rest of your women.”
“You have so far.”
With one fluid movement, she was on her knees before him. “That wasn’t me.” She doubled her fist and punched him right in the nose. “This is me.”
He stumbled backward, surprise in his eyes. She followed him, white noise in her head, prepared to do what she needed to do. She aimed the heel of her hand at his nose, a powerful blow that would crumple the delicate cartilage and, when chased with an immediate fist to the chin, knock him out. She hoped.
But this time, he was ready for her. Catching her hand, he squeezed, a bone-crunching hold that had her gasping in pain.
“Damn you, Sarah,” he said, his voice raspy. “Damn you.”
He pushed her around, holding her wrists behind her with one big, unforgiving hand. Forcing her toward the bed, he merely bent over and picked her up when she sank to the floor.
He wrapped his arms around her body, trapping her arms. “Don’t make me hurt you.”
She laughed, a loud, joyless sound. “Too late.” She bowed her head, lost for a moment in the land of self-pity.
Other than a grunt, he was silent as he dumped her unceremoniously onto his bed. He was on her before she could scramble up.
He flipped her to her back and straddled her, jerking her wrists above her head. His eyes were cold but controlled. His nose looked a little swollen where she’d struck him.
Her breathing sounded like a violent storm in her ears. “I hate you. I hate you so much.”
“And you think I care?” But he’d hesitated for a fraction of a second, a spark of pain glittering in his eyes before he shuttered them.
“Yes,” she answered, hoping her voice sounded as mocking as she’d meant it to.
“I told you not to try to hurt me again, didn’t I?”
“And I told you I’m not one of your biddable women.” And to prove it, she turned her head to the warm underside of his forearm and sank her teeth into his flesh.
He jerked, tearing her loose before she drew blood. “Fuck, woman!”
Furious, he jumped from the bed, then buried his fist in her hair. He dragged her from the bed, drawing a shriek from her when her ass hit the floor.
Throwing open his door, he bellowed, “Teddy! In here, now.” Still holding Sarah’s hair with one hand, he pulled with enough force to bring her to her feet, hard fingers ripping fabric as he tore the clothes from her body.
She grasped his arms, touching the bumpy outline of her teeth marks. “Kai!”
He was a maddened bull, unstoppable, unreachable.
Teddy stood in the doorway, eyes large, trembling hands held to her chest. “You…you called me?”
“Restraints from the black room.”
Sarah felt her heart sink to her toes, and real fear arose like wisps of thick fog. “Kai?” She’d pushed him too far.
Teddy didn’t hesitate. With a darting glance at Sarah, she ran. Her footsteps echoed long after she’d gone. Lingered for what seemed like hours as Kai ripped the last bit of clothing from Sarah’s body, bruised tender flesh with impatient fingers and threw her on the bed.
And this time, she knew she wasn’t getting back up. Not for a long time.
Teddy crept back into the room, eyes round, mouth agape. “H-here’s your, uh, restraints…”
“Teddy…” Sarah pleaded.
“Get out!” Kai’s
voice left no room for argument, and Teddy wouldn’t go against him. With an apologetic look at Sarah, she backed out of the room and closed the door behind her.
Kai’s dark, straight eyebrows framed eyes full of raging storms, and he gave her the full brunt of those unfamiliar depths for a brief moment before he climbed on her. He held her captive between massive thighs as he jerked her arms above her head and secured first one, then the other to the bedpost. Her ankles received the same treatment.
“You know what you’re doing,” she spat. “Perhaps you’ve had lots of practice chaining women to your bed.” She hoped he couldn’t hear the quaking in her voice. Yeah, she was scared. Terrified. For in his eyes, all traces of the Kai she knew seemed to have disappeared. Still, she could fake it with the best of them.
He ignored her.
“Perhaps you have to chain women to your bed,” she continued, eliciting only a contemptuous, icy look.
Kai, where are you? “You will not rape me.” But he would not have to. She knew her body.
He tightened the straps across her ankles, hands jerky with anger.
“You’re a terrible man. You’re not the man I thought you were. Go ahead, then. Rape me. But you won’t touch my heart.”
Only the stiffening of his back made her think he might actually be listening. He ran his hand up the inside of her leg, and she closed her eyes, swallowing hard.
Oh God.
Slowly, he slid a finger inside her, exploring, probing, rubbing.
Grinding her teeth to keep eager moans from escaping, she tried, and failed, to keep her body from responding. Moisture gathered on his fingertips, and as he spread that moisture over her already throbbing clit, she was lost. It didn’t help that she loved him. She loved him so, so much.
He moved, facing her once again, but she kept her eyes firmly shut.
She couldn’t even trade her body for Constantine’s safety. Kai merely took what he wanted.
Desperate, she bargained. “If you spare my brother his life, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. Be whatever you want me to be. Please, Kai. I can’t live with the guilt!”
He lowered his battered face, slowly, so slowly. His lips touched hers, a light sliding of flesh on tender flesh. “Shut up, Sarah.”
Beyond the Shadows Page 9