“It sounds like they’re coming straight here,” she commented. The realization left her apprehensive. Rob frowned a little, as the sound of engines grew louder.
“There’s more than one.”
“It’s got to be the sheriff, then. Don’t you think?” Samantha asked. “Other than your brother, and my family, who else knows we’re here?”
With a cloud of snow, a couple of two-man snowmobiles roared into view, then stopped with a flourish in front of the cabin. The men who drove, shut off the engines and stayed where they were, but the single passenger hopped off. The height, build, and that vivid purple jacket…
“How… Why…” Rob muttered, as his mind raced, and his muscles tensed. Meredith had to know he was with Samantha. Dan would’ve told her, when he told her Rob blocked her number, which he would’ve done, the second Rob ended their call. And now here they were, and this was no rescue mission. Not with one vacant seat.
“What’s wrong? Who are they?” Samantha asked, alarmed by the look in his eyes.
“Don’t worry. I’ll get rid of them,” he said grimly. He turned toward the door, and she caught his arm.
“Rob, what’s going on?” she demanded. He turned back to her, and the look in his eyes softened. Instead of answering her question, he gave the person in the purple jacket a brief and baleful look, then took his time and kissed his wife. In spite of her confusion, she didn’t protest.
“I’ll be right back,” he said gently, then grabbed his coat and stepped outside the door, before the person on the other side had a chance to reach it. Rob closed it firmly behind him.
Meredith removed her helmet and shook out her long blond hair, as she waded through the deeply drifted snow. She glanced at the window beside him, and he caught the glimmer of jealous contempt in her eyes before she masked it with a smile. He didn’t wait to see what she had to say.
“This is private property. You’ve got no business being here,” he said with authority, including all three in his scathing glance.
The other two looked a little uncomfortable, but Meredith’s laugh rang out, making a joke of his words.
“You have no business being here, either!” she declared lightly, as she continued toward him. “Since there was a blizzard involved, I forgive you for making all the arrangements, then standing me up. It’s been miserable without you, so I talked Dan and Pete into aiding in your rescue.”
Rob quailed Dan and Pete with a look, as they moved to disembark.
“Don’t get up. You’re not staying, and I’m not going. Try and make me, at your own risk,” Rob warned them. His tone, as much as the look in his eyes, convinced them to stay put, and stay out of it.
Frustration and annoyance flashed across Meredith’s face, but she quickly masked it with amusement.
The look Rob gave her was one of contempt.
“Erik was right about you, all along. You’re nothing but poison, and you’re crazy if you think I’m going anywhere with you! I blocked you, because I never want to see or hear from you, again.”
There was a dangerous spark in Meredith’s eyes, but she managed a flippant laugh.
“Inviting me to spend the holiday weekend at the ski lodge with you, is a funny way to show it.”
“I’ve never been with you the way you’re insinuating. I’ve never wanted to be, and I never will be,” Rob said bitingly.
Meredith’s façade crumbled, and her eyes blazed.
“Why? Because of her? She left you, Rob! She left you, and didn’t look back! How can you even think of giving her another chance? Why would you want to? All she ever did was make your life miserable, and take time away from your real friends. You were relieved to be rid of her, so you could finally have your life back!”
“What I’m glad of, is that she didn’t stick around and let me mistreat her any worse than I did!” Rob shot back. “She deserves way better than that, and I’m able to give her that now, but none of this is any of your business. You don’t belong here. You don’t belong in my life, and you never did!”
“I’m not the one who left you! You’ll never be as close to her, as you are me! Don’t waste yourself like this, Rob! Don’t throw away what we have. There’s never been a time I haven’t been there for you! That should tell you something,” Meredith argued.
“It tells me you’re obsessed with destroying my marriage and ruining my life, and it is over,” Rob said scathingly. “Leave, Meredith! And do not attempt to contact me, or my wife, in any way, ever again. If you do, you will wish you hadn’t.”
With another blistering look, Rob turned on his heel, went inside, and slammed the door.
Chapter 23
ROB turned the bolt with a decided click. As he took in the cabin’s small living space, his righteous fury began to evaporate, and anxiety took its place. There was no sign of Samantha, but the bedroom door was now shut.
His heart beat painfully as he dropped his coat on the couch, and swiftly crossed the floor. To his surprise, the knob turned easily in his hand. He breathed a prayer of thanks, and gently opened the door.
Samantha sat huddled on the bed, her forehead pressed against her knees, and her arms clasped tightly around her legs. Her battered heart struggled to go on beating, as she fought to resist the memories that mocked her dying dreams.
She heard Rob’s step as he quietly entered the room, and for a moment, her heart cried out. Then she gathered up its broken pieces, and sheltered it deep within, and out of reach.
Rob eased himself onto the bed and sat facing her for a moment, but she remained motionless. When he reached for her, she was stiff and unyielding to his touch. He wrapped his arms around her anyway, and prayed for the right words. Try as he might, he could think of none.
The quiet was broken by the start of first one snowmobile engine, then the other. They revved briefly, then slowly faded into the distance. Maybe he was imagining it, but it seemed that the tension in her shoulders eased slightly. Rob breathed a silent sigh of relief, himself.
“They’re gone, Samantha,” he spoke softly. “After what I said, I don’t think any of them will be back.”
He waited until the silence was unbearable, but she said nothing in response.
“It wasn’t how she made it sound,” he added, desperate for a connection, as he gently rubbed his wife’s shoulders. Samantha stirred slightly.
“And how did it sound?” she asked quietly, struggling to hold back the waves of emotion that threatened.
Rob closed his eyes, and dropped his head.
“It sounded like I had a relationship with her,” he said with difficulty.
Samantha considered that, and nodded.
“You’re right. That’s exactly how it sounds.”
“But that’s not how it is,” Rob quickly replied. “That’s not how it was.”
“Then how did she know where to find you?” Samantha asked, her voice deadly calm.
“She called, the first night of the storm. I thought it was Erik, looking for an update. I said I was finishing up at the models, and would head out to check the cabins, next. Then I realized it was her. I hung up, and blocked her number.”
Samantha’s tension eased slightly.
“You blocked her?” she asked, needing to hear it again. She knew Meredith was relentless, it wouldn’t be the first time she called out of the blue.
“Yes, I hung up on her and blocked her number,” he confirmed. He felt Samantha relax, and was relieved. “I did, I blocked her. I thought about how that would look to you, if you knew she called. I blocked the rest of them, the next day. They encouraged the worst in me, and I realized I never should’ve let any of them back in my life, but especially not her.”
“You—what?” Samantha froze, and Rob instantly regretted his last three words.
“As an acquaintance, that’s all,” he swiftly added.
Samantha shoved away and out of reach, her eyes blazing as they locked on his.
“You told me you were alone, aft
er I left! You said you weren’t with her! And—just an acquaintance? If it wasn’t for the storm, you’d be with her at a ski lodge, right now!” she exclaimed, staring back at him in horror, as she gripped her head between her hands.
“No, there was a group of us going!” he interjected desperately. “I wasn’t going with her. We weren’t going together! We hung out with the same group, that’s all.”
“She’s just an acquaintance,” she accused, her voice catching. “Is that how you justified making out with her two years ago, at your mother’s Christmas party? Is she your only acquaintance, or how many others have you been acquainted with, Rob?”
“It’s not like that, Samantha, it isn’t,” he insisted, as she burst into tears. He reached for her, but she turned away. “I’d been drinking, and I didn’t make out with her, but I know ever having any association with her was wrong, and I’m sorry, but I’m not messed-up anymore, like I used to be.”
“So that’s how you grieved my loss,” she choked out. “You spent the past two years in the company of that—woman!”
“I didn’t!” he denied. “After I started hanging out with Dan and the rest of the guys again, Meredith joined the group. I’d given up on you coming back, by then—”
“I can understand why, considering you were glad to be rid of me!” she sobbed, dashing away tears of pain and anger.
“No! She said that, not me! I wanted you back, every minute, I did!”
“You never contacted me, not even once!” she cried. “Do you have any idea how shredded I was after I left? You made me believe I was worth less than nothing! If it wasn’t for—”
“Please, forgive me,” Rob sobbed. “You’re worth more than anything, and I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. I’d do everything different, if I could.”
“If it wasn’t for the storm, you’d be with her right now,” Samantha’s voice cracked.
“No,” Rob protested.
“You wouldn’t be with me, you’d be with her! You chose her, you made plans with her, and I wasn’t even worth coming after,” Samantha cried, as sobs wracked her.
“No, I’m with you, not her,” he cried, as he managed to pull her into his arms.
“You’re stuck here with me,” she wept bitterly. “You never wanted to be with me.”
“I could’ve gone with them, but I didn’t, because I want you! I’m not messed up like I used to be, I won’t choose to be miserable, and please, don’t let her win! I want you, I want a life with you, I want kids with you,” he sobbed, and she cried even harder. “Nothing has changed since the moment you took me back. We were planning our future, we were happy, you loved me, and I know I love you, and please don’t let her win, and destroy what we have! I didn’t leave you for her, and I never will. I’ll never leave you for anyone, or anything! You can trust me, just as much as you did before she showed up here.”
“I did trust you,” she sobbed brokenly. “I didn’t want to believe the reason you never came for me, was because you were with her. But you were.”
“No!” he said vehemently, hugging her tightly. “Everything I told you is true. When Meredith started showing up when I was out with the rest of the guys, I told her nothing would ever happen. She said she was fine just being friends. I knew that wasn’t true, but I knew it would never go anywhere because I wouldn’t let it, and it felt good to be admired. It made me feel like I wasn’t completely worthless. I’ve always known you’re too good for me, but I don’t care anymore. I want to rise to your level, not tear you down so you’re below mine. I’m not the messed-up guy I used to be, and everything I’ve said is the truth. Samantha, I love you! Please, don’t leave me again. Please, don’t leave me. Whatever I have to do to fix this, I will.”
“You can’t,” she cried.
“No, don’t say that,” his heart wrenched. “I’ll do anything, just please, don’t leave me!”
“Then go back and do different,” she cried brokenly. “Because the only way to fix this, is to undo it. And you can’t. No one can.”
“I love you,” he sobbed in anguish. “Please don’t do this.”
“I’m not the one who did,” she wept inconsolably.
“You gave me another chance, please don’t take it back,” he begged. “Everything I’m guilty of is in the past, and I was never guilty like she’s made you believe. She wants to destroy our marriage, that’s why she came here, it’s why she said those things. Please, don’t let her. Please, don’t.”
Samantha’s tears robbed her of the ability to respond, and Rob held her tightly as they both sobbed. As long as she didn’t push him away, as long as she allowed this connection, he had hope.
Rob prayed desperately for help. She loved him, he knew she did, but she didn’t trust him. She could, he wouldn’t let her down, but she didn’t believe it. Who could blame her, the way Meredith showed up like that, saying the things she did! He should’ve told Meredith off two years ago, instead of waiting until now. Instead of letting her weasel back into his life, and once again poison his marriage. He knew he bore the majority of the blame. Samantha was his wife, this was their marriage, and it was his responsibility to protect both. His own guilt didn’t make him despise Meredith any less.
Rob would never let her come between them again. He wouldn’t let anyone, or anything, come between them! Samantha had to believe that. He needed God to convince her, somehow. He needed God to make her trust him! He could do it, He was God, He could do anything. And He hated divorce, Rob definitely read that in the Bible somewhere. The timing of the storm, hiring Art by Design to stage the models, Samantha working as a designer that day, it had to be because God wanted to restore their marriage. God saved Samantha’s life, and his. He finally got through Rob’s thick skull, and he was now a believer. He would fix this, and then Rob would tell Samantha about Jesus, and she would believe, too. They’d go back to Ocotillo, they’d be happy, they’d have the baby she wanted so badly, and everything would be alright.
Rob thought over what he remembered of his confrontation with Meredith. She said a bunch of stuff…
Samantha continued to sob heartbrokenly, as he held her against his chest, and gently smoothed her hair.
“Samantha, you never made me miserable,” he said softly. “I did that to myself, and to you, too. I didn’t want you to leave, I wasn’t glad when you did, and I didn’t want to get back to my old life, or my old friends. I’m thankful they’re out of my life. Meredith claims we were close, but that’s not true. You’re the only one I’ve ever been close to, and the only one I ever want to be with.”
“What you say, doesn’t match what you did,” she cried. “If you felt that way, you would’ve been with me, not her. I wasn’t worth anything to you, but she—”
“No!” he cut her off, as he struggled to contain the anger roused by his frustration. “I know it doesn’t make sense. I didn’t make any sense. Look, with you, it was hard. Fixing my mistakes was insurmountable, unless you proved you still wanted me, by coming back. With her, I didn’t make any effort at all, she just started showing up when my group got together.”
“If you so much as called her, or sent her a text, you put more effort into her, than you did me,” Samantha sobbed. “I wasn’t worth even that, to you.”
“Please stop saying that,” Rob said tightly. He forgot how insane she could make him! He forgot how quick she could make him lose his temper. She wasn’t listening to him, nothing he said was right, and he fought to avoid the pattern their fights inevitably took in the past.
His tone had that all too familiar edge to it, and a tremor of fear ran through Samantha. She was back where she never wanted to be, and her heart cried out to the only One who loved her perfectly, the only One who could save her.
Rob felt desperation, and latched onto prayer like it was a lifeline. Maybe it was. What was it Erik said? Put her first, no matter how it hurts, and no matter what she says. Take care of her. Show sacrificial love. No matter how it hurt, no matte
r how guilty he was… but even more, because he was guilty. He was guilty, she was right. He was also crazy when he did those things, operating under the sole influence of his sinful nature, but that didn’t change the past any, or the effect it had on her, even now. Jesus paid the penalty for his sins, but his actions had consequences. He and Samantha were both reaping what he’d sown.
“I’m sorry,” Rob said, his tone now soft. “You have every right to be upset, and every reason to think what you do. I don’t have the right to expect you to believe me. But I am telling the truth, even though you’re right, it doesn’t add up. You’ll win that argument every time. I know how I felt, and it doesn’t match what I did. There’s nothing I can say to defend myself. I’d fix this if I could, but I can’t go back and do differently. All I can do is beg for mercy. I’m not the same guy I used to be. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving it, if you’ll let me.”
Samantha’s sob stuck in her throat, as she took that in. The hurt was still there, but so was the realization that while both of them started to fall into the same destructive cycle again, Rob was the one to stop it. He was the one who stopped, and disengaged. He acknowledged her feelings and his guilt, and asked for mercy. He left the ball in her court, and now… she had no idea what to do with it.
Rob prayed in silence, that the Holy Spirit would give him the power to win out over the sinful nature. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He didn’t want to hurt her, or hurt his chances with her, assuming he still had any. He continued to hold her and smooth her hair, as he prayed, and waited for her to respond. She wasn’t crying nearly as hard. He hoped that was a sign in his—and their—favor.
“I need to be alone,” Samantha’s voice quavered, as she pushed feebly against his chest. She also needed time to think, and someone to help her sort things through.
“Please, no,” Rob begged, as fear and alarm, like an electric shock, shot through him. Samantha pushed harder, and Rob forced himself to let her go. As she moved out of his arms and out of reach, he felt as though his soul was being torn from him. She felt the same loss, but being with him, was just as painful. Unless she had time to work through her thoughts and feelings, that would never change.
Disengaged (Terms of Engagement Book 3) Page 39