Would she let him? She didn’t know if she could swallow her pride long enough. Nine months of swallowing was a long time, and that would be a huge sacrifice with no benefit whatsoever to him.
Realizing that she really wanted to give Nikki the gift of her babies, she relented. “Your place or mine?”
Zack shot her a look, then chuckled. “I’m glad your humor has returned. I’m hoping you’re not as grumpy as Jade is when she’s expecting. I enjoy having her hours away when she is.”
“Since you’re my husband, you won’t have that luxury.” Sondra teased.
“I’m not complaining.” Zack’s glance raked over her. Unlike Scott’s looks, this one lit a fire inside. It was a fire that would have to remain unused. She wouldn’t risk the babies, and she knew Zack wouldn’t, either. “In answer to your question,” Zack’s voice interrupted Sondra’s thoughts, “since I’m going to be moving into your place, do you mind if we spend the night at mine? That way I can gather my things.”
“I’m not that helpless.”
Zack stared at her a moment and then directed his attention back to the snowy road. “Were you planning on going anywhere?”
“I have some shopping to do, and I wanted to attend church on Sunday.”
“If you’re like Jade, you really can’t drive anywhere.”
Sondra glared at Zack a minute and then realized it wasn’t his fault. This was a choice she made. Once again, she relented. “Your place is fine.”
They stopped at her townhouse. As they walked up the shoveled walks, Sondra felt exhausted. It hit her like a wall just like it had at the party, but she didn’t want to say anything to Zack.
She wasn’t accustomed to having someone in her life to lean on, and she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to get used to it. It would only last until the babies were born—longer if his father hadn’t yet passed away.
She snuck a look at Zack. His wide shoulders looked strong enough to help her with her burdens, and it was only during the pregnancy that she would be this helpless. Maybe she could lean on him. He took care of her at trek. He would certainly be willing to do it now. He hadn’t changed in all the years she hadn’t seen him. Except he was even better looking than he was back then.
As they walked into the living room, Dewk was scratching at the sliding glass door. Sondra let him in. He bounded up and stopped just short of knocking Zack over.
“I forgot about your companion.” Zack confessed.
“Yes, he can be rather annoying. You’re not allergic are you?”
“No allergies. I’m just not used to animals in the house.”
“You didn’t grow up with pets?”
“Jade has asthma, so no, I didn’t.”
Dewk’s tail was slapping against the wall as they walked to the bedrooms. His happiness was audible. Sondra hoped Zack enjoyed dogs as much as Scott did. She hadn’t thought to ask.
She opened the door to the guest bedroom. It was done in neutral colors. She’d been mindful of her dad and Brad as visitors when she’d planned the décor. “This will be your room.”
“Nice.”
“You can use the bathroom in the hall. I’ll use the one attached to my room.”
“Sounds good.”
“You know,” Sondra turned to him. “I’ve never entertained a man in my house. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”
“Just pretend I’m Brad. I promise I won’t be any trouble.” He held up his right hand in an oath.
Sondra stared at him a moment, her heart racing. He didn’t look anything like Brad, and she wanted to do much more than sister-in-law things with him right that moment. She flushed and turned away. Being married was harder than she anticipated. Somehow, the ring sitting on her finger meant things that were taboo suddenly weren’t. Is this live-in arrangement really going to work? She walked into her room and shut the door, leaning against it. This is all for the babies. I can do this. I can be strong, and I won’t do anything I will regret later. She took a shaky breath and then added, I hope.
She changed out of her evening dress, hanging it carefully. She caressed the soft material. Will I be donating this to Deseret Industries?
The hair clip and her earrings were unceremoniously dumped into her jewelry box. She was too tired to do more than shake out her curls. She managed to change into cotton loungewear, grab a change of clothes and a couple of essential items and stuff them into an overnight bag. She slid Dewk back outside. He’d be fine in his heated house.
She doubted she’d be able to stay awake for the drive to Park City. She was right.
By the time Zack had hit the corner, Sondra was already asleep and snoring softly. She didn’t emerge until Zack started pulling her out. His intent was clear. He was going to carry her.
Horrified, Sondra managed to wriggle out of his arms. “I’m okay. I can walk.” She stumbled as she moved forward and grabbed his steady arm.
She didn’t like feeling this helpless. She’d heard the word before.
Drained.
It had new meaning now. In a life where she hadn’t really understood all the talk of women who had been through the experience of pregnancy, she was right there experiencing it. It scared her.
She’d always been strong and in control. This was something she simply couldn’t work around. She thought of the Bear Hunt game she’d played with her mom when she was little. “You can’t go under it. You can’t go over it. You have to go through it.” How would she get through drained?
With help. She would have to rely on Zack. She gripped his arm tighter and walked with him to the elevator bank.
The condo was in the complex she had researched herself. A tiled entry led to wood floors that reflected the artificial light. Although the furnishings were sparse, they were adequate for two. “Do you mind if I explore?”
“Not at all.” He directed her around the unit, showing her his room and the room he was planning to have her use. “The sheets were washed this week, so you don’t have to worry.”
“You wash your guest sheets?”
“Not normally, but Jade and her family are planning to visit over Christmas, so I wanted the bed clean for her and Stan.”
“Isn’t it going to be awkward staying at my house when they’re visiting?”
Zack stopped and turned. “Isn’t this whole event meant for both of us? What better way to show Jade we’re happily married?”
“Um, yeah. I didn’t think of that.” Suddenly, Sondra wondered if he had this whole move-together thing worked out before she embarrassed herself by snoring at the Christmas party. She narrowed her eyes and stared at him, trying to figure him out. His look of innocence was almost convincing, but she didn’t pick her career because she was the trusting sort.
She stepped over to the porch.
“Look at this.” Zack switched off the lights. The condo had a view of the slopes, and the moon turned the ski runs into glittering silver rivers running down the mountains.
“How beautiful,” she whispered.
“It is. I love it here.”
She turned to him as he flipped on the lights. “What made you move to San Jose when your heart is here?”
He shrugged. “That’s where the job is. I think I’ll settle here someday.”
“Are you sure you can spend the next few months in Utah?”
“I’ll probably have to spend some time in San Jose, but I’m sure we can work out the details later.”
“That’s a really big sacrifice to help out someone you don’t even know.”
“I know you. Isn’t that enough?”
“Yes, but this isn’t really for me.”
“You’re the one sacrificing nine months and donating your body to your sister’s children. That’s a lot bigger sacrifice than the one I’m contemplating. Not many single women would do that.”
Sondra furrowed her brows and stared at him a moment. “Still, this is for my sister. Your sacrifice is for someone you don’t even know.”
Sondra sighed. Him spending time driving her around in Utah had nothing to do with his grandmother, but she was too tired to argue.
“You look dead on your feet.” Zack said.
“Thanks for that kind observation.”
“That’s me. The bastion of kindness.” He directed her back to the guest room. “If you don’t lie down, I’ll put you to bed myself.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
“Try me.”
The glint in his eye meant business. Sondra wasn’t sure what exactly that business meant, so she hurried to the bed and pulled down the covers. “I’m sure I’ll feel better tomorrow. Probably you won’t even need to drive me.”
Zack didn’t argue. Instead, he shut the door behind him.
Sondra would have protested, but her eyes closed the minute her head hit the pillow.
* * *
Sondra’s agonized scream brought Zack running to the door.
“What’s wrong?”
“My leg,” she panted, “it hurts.”
“I’ll be right back.”
Sondra tried moving her foot, stretching the muscles, but the searing pain wouldn’t stop. Zack ran back, liquid sloshing out of the glass he carried. “Here. Drink some of this.”
She gulped the water and continued to twist her foot to ease the cramping. She tried to stand but dropped right back on the bed. Zack knelt down and gently kneaded the tense muscle.
As the spasm eased, she asked, “How did you know I needed water?”
“Jade.”
“Jade.” She answered her own question as he spurted out his answer.
“Did you see her go through this?”
He nodded. “We went camping once while she was expecting Julie. Stan knew exactly what to do. I’ll never forget how quickly she went from agonizing cramps back to normal.”
Sondra turned her foot with some relief. “Thanks. I’ll have to keep water close.”
“Good idea.”
“Speaking of water―or not….I think I need a bathroom run.” Sondra disappeared.
Zack was mopping up splashed water when she returned. “Are you alright?”
Sondra nodded. “I’m fine. It’s a good thing your sister has been through all this. I’m clueless.”
“I always thought Jade was exaggerating.”
Sondra rubbed the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. “Unfortunately, I’m not feeling any exaggeration.” She looked at the clock. It was three twenty-eight. “Is there any chance we’ll be able to get some sleep?”
“If you’re feeling better, I’ll leave you alone.”
“I’m fine.” After Zack left, Sondra stared at the ceiling. The fertility doctor had said she wouldn’t notice any differences for at least two weeks. He was obviously wrong. What else is he going to be wrong about?
As much as her pregnancy was mirroring that of her sister-in-law, she could have been a blood relative. She didn’t remember Nikki having any similar symptoms. I’d rather be sick than lose the babies. With that thought on her mind, she rolled over and went back to sleep.
* * *
Weak winter light was shining through her room when Sondra finally woke up. The smell of bacon and eggs should have been appetizing. Sondra groaned. She didn’t want anything more than a ginger ale and some saltine crackers.
She pulled on the robe she had tossed at the foot of her bed the night before and made her way to the kitchen.
“Welcome to the land of the living.” Zack was cheerful. She wanted to throw something at him.
He turned around and caught the direction of her gaze. “No you don’t. That’s an antique flat iron. A pioneer ancestor brought it across the plains. And it’s heavy.”
“I didn’t say a word.”
“You didn’t have to. Would you like some breakfast?”
“Toast. No butter. Any ginger ale? And how did you know what I was thinking?”
“I’ve seen that same look on Jade’s face too many times.”
She dropped to the couch and thrust out her bottom lip. “You’re no fun.”
“Yeah, well, I just recovered from one black eye. I didn’t want another.”
“I wasn’t planning on aiming at your face.”
“Ha. I’ve heard that one before.”
Sondra’s curiosity was piqued. “Did you and Jade fight a lot?”
“Like cats and dogs when we were kids. When I got big enough to pin her, she quit fighting me.”
“You’re telling me it was all her fault?”
Zack rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I’d have to accept partial blame.” He brought over a plate with two pieces of plain toast and a steaming cup. Sondra took the plate and peered in the cup, then she looked at him with raised brows.
“It’s a ginger-cinnamon blend. I thought it would help with your nausea.”
“You’d think you were a nurse, not a software engineer.”
“I was a medic in Afghanistan.”
“A medic? How did you learn to fight so well then?”
“When you’re in a war zone, everyone needs to fight. The enemy doesn’t stop just because you’re wearing a medic’s badge.” He grabbed a plate full of food and settled at the table.
“What led you to engineering after Afghanistan? You seem to have a talent for nursing.”
“I’m not very good at all the red tape involved in the medical field.”
Sondra nodded. “I had a good friend who quit nursing because it became more about making sure the paperwork was done right than caring for the patient.”
“I also wanted a job where I wasn’t on call 24/7. Engineering is something you can walk away from at the end of the day—if you had someone you wanted to walk to.” Zack said.
“It would make a more family-friendly career, but I don’t fault those who choose to take care of our health.”
“Neither do I. I just didn’t want to spend my life with patients.”
“How come you never got married?”
Zack stared at his plate a moment and then met her gaze. “I know you heard about Hannah from Dad.”
“Who was she?” Sondra was burning with curiosity. She hoped it didn’t show in her face.
“She grew up in the same ward I did. We were expected to marry, and we just kind of let the world around us decide. When she met Doug, it was like I didn’t even exist. It didn’t take me long to break it off, and it took her even less time to run off and marry him.”
“That must’ve hurt.”
“What surprised me is that it didn’t. Maybe she was like Scott. Her mannerisms didn’t endear me. I had just grown accustomed to her over the years. It was more the idea she would pick someone over me. That stung.” He met her eyes again. “Why didn’t you marry?”
“Well, Scott was the only prospect, and he wasn’t a thrilling one.”
“I understand that, but haven’t you been attending the single’s activities?”
She shuddered. “Have you been to any Utah events lately?”
He shook his head.
“Think meat market.”
“That bad?” Zack asked.
“Worse.”
He watched her nibble on her dry toast and then turned to inhale his own breakfast. He washed their plates and then returned to sit next to Sondra. “Is there anything you wanted to do today?”
“Dewk is probably missing me.”
“I think he’ll survive a while longer. You work every day.”
“You’re right. I don’t really have anything on my plate other than some grocery shopping.” She stared out the window and then she brightened. “Aren’t there some outlet stores here?”
“I believe there are. I just haven’t been.”
“I’d like to shop.”
“Your enthusiasm scares me.” Zack said.
She grinned at him.
“It should.”
“Are you sure you’re up to this?”
“Absolutely.”
Sondra was pleasantly surprised that her nausea seemed to fade as the morning moved to afternoon, and she spent an hour trying on maternity outfits at one of the stores. Zack’s enthusiasm was obviously feigned, but Sondra appreciated his willingness to tolerate a shopping trip. None of her clothes were going to fit. Her slender figure wasn’t going to last—especially with twins.
As she paid for her purchases, she turned to Zack. “I’m famished.”
“Me, too. This is the most time I’ve spent in a maternity store since—”
Sondra laughed. “Okay. Not your idea of a fun morning. I get it. Any ideas for lunch?”
“Act-u-ally,” Zack drew out the word, “I did have something in mind.”
He drove her to a restaurant where he was met by a valet.
“Valet parking in Park City?” Sondra asked.
“It happens.” Zack grinned.
They were led to a private table and enjoyed lunch with a beautiful view. Colorful skiers seemed to float down the slopes. “I never had an interest in skiing, but I’d like to try sometime.” Sondra said.
“I think we’ll have to wait until next season.”
With a pang, Sondra realized he was right. Probably a strenuous run down a mountain wouldn’t be a good idea. The fact that Nikki lost her babies so easily was a clear warning.
“There’s a matinee I wanted to see.” Zack suggested.
“I could probably handle that, as long as you won’t be mad if I fall asleep.”
Zack’s lips twitched. “You’ve set a precedent.”
Sondra smiled. “I guess it started in the plane, didn’t it?” She couldn’t help wondering if his shoulder was as comfortable in bed as it had been in the plane. Steering her thoughts in a different direction, she asked, “What movie is playing?”
“There are a couple at the theater. Let’s head over. You can pick.”
A film she’d wanted to see was featured, so they joined the short line. Sondra refused the popcorn, nervous about so much salt with the fresh memory of her leg cramp. It wasn’t something she wanted to repeat.
She surprised herself by staying awake. It helped that the movie was fast-paced and interesting.
Lined With Silver Page 9