by Raven Scott
Parker jumps up and down in her seat, “Yes, we will be there. We will bring the drinks!”
“Okay, y’all be safe going home,” Rogen says.
Walking across the lobby to grab the elevator, me and Rogen start talking about home. Eventually, he says he does have to tell me something that is happening in the upcoming future. Slightly nervous, I say we will talk about it after tomorrow night’s dinner.
“You know what, Rogen? I have to work in the morning, so I have to head to bed and then go grocery shopping for dinner,” I say sleepily.
“Why don’t I go and get the stuff for tomorrow? That way I can get out for a bit and see more of Edinburgh,” he offers.
“That would be very helpful since I have a lot of paperwork to do,” I say back.
I give my brother a hug and go to bed filled with an anxious feeling, thinking about what he must tell me. As I close my eyes, I picture Cannon’s beautiful face as I drift off to safety.
12
Brothers
Today has been stressful, to say the least, at the University library. First, I come in to utter chaos that is easy to take care of, but time-consuming. Finally, when I get to my office, I have multiple voicemails from different people telling me what books should be in the library and what should not.
I quickly delete those types of negative comments. I need some air, so I finally decide to go and sit on the steps outside. I haven’t seen Cannon since yesterday, and I catch myself thinking how he has been, or more specifically, who he has been with. Is he okay? I look down at my cell phone and see that I need to get home so I can start dinner.
When I arrive home, Rogen is up in my library reading some novel out of the many ones that have been collecting over the years.
“Hey, sis! How was work?” he asks.
“It was a drag. There was so much to do, and then the paperwork was very lengthy. But, enough about that. How was your day? Did you get to explore at all?” I reply.
He has makes weird face when he answered, “I basically went all over the neighborhood. When I got to the store, I bumped into your friend from the restaurant the other day, Cannon. He asked what I was doing tonight, and I told him that you were having people over, and I couldn’t just not invite him.”
“What the hell, Rogen! I told you all the shit that has happened, and you go invite him anyway. What were you fucking thinking?”
“Listen, I didn’t know what to do. The guy put me on the spot, and I wanted to be nice instead of a damn jerk. I’m sorry, but you are friends with his sister, and that automatically means you need to be friends with her brother,” he says yelling at me.
Astonished that he yelled at me, I start to take deep breaths and realize that he is right. Damn, I hate when he is right.
Looking to him, I say, “Fine, but you are going to be the only Danford to talk to him.”
“Stop being childish, Collins. You just need to be nice, the prim and proper Southern woman that our mother raised you up to be,” he says laughing.
We dropped the discussion there because our first guest has arrived. As I run up to my library, Rogen goes to let them in. My heart sinks when I hear his voice, and he is not alone. I peek down to the kitchen, and there she is, the Kendall Jenner look-alike. I know right then that I’m just another woman who gave it up so easily to him. This is my home, and I’m going to go down there and make dinner. I hope this night goes by fast.
“Hello everyone!” I say. I make eye contact with everyone. Cannon is wearing his usual attire, jeans and a t-shirt. She is holding him by the waist and looking perfect per usual.
Parker bounces over to me, “Hello, my beautiful friend!”
Dalton gives me a one-sided hug, and says, “I bought your favorite brand of whiskey and some red wine.”
“Thank you, Dalton! I am going to need the whiskey first, please.”
“Coming right up,” he says walking over to the cups.
“I will get started on dinner if y’all want to go into the living room and play pool or watch TV.” I quickly leave them to escape the current situation.
“Wait, I will help you,” Cannon says, not even giving me a chance to decline the unwanted help.
“It’s fine. Rogen said he would help me already. Isn’t that right, Rogen?” I say hoping my brother will get the hint.
Parker chimes in as well, “Why doesn’t Cannon help you and the rest of us get to know your brother?”
Before I can think of a way out, everybody is leaving the room. Leaving me and Cannon alone in the kitchen; staring anywhere but at each other.
“We need to get started on dinner. I thought about making a Southern dish, shrimp and grits with sides: shrimp, pineapple, and onion skewers, skillet corn, and Mexican cornbread. How does that sound?”
Cannon stares at me for a second, “That sounds great! What do you want me to do or get started with?” He takes a couple of steps closer to me.
“You can get started assembling the skewers. Starting with shrimp and ending with onion.” My goal for this evening is to keep busy enough that we don’t have time to talk about what happened a couple of days ago.
Staring over to him, he starts working on the skewers. He looks like he is totally fine with how things ended with us the other day. Why should he be upset with not being with me, when clearly I didn’t matter on his long list of women? He looks up and catches me staring. I quickly look away and start on the shrimp and grits.
Cannon steps closer to me and says, “I need for us to talk about the other day. Maybe I can come by your work tomorrow with lunch, and we can talk then. Would that be okay?”
“That would not be okay. I have a lunch meeting with the former librarian.” Hoping he will leave it at that.
“What about tomorrow night, around eleven-thirty?”
“That would be fine, I guess. But, why do we have to talk about it? You seem preoccupied with your girlfriend.” He doesn’t say anything to that. We work in silence for the rest of the time. I catch him looking at me in an odd way several times.
He is about to say something, when Rogen walks in and says, “Sis, I’m hungry. Is it almost done?” looking between the two of us.
“It just got done. Why don’t you go and round everybody else up.”
Dinner seems to go great, and we are just wrapping things up when Cannon’s date says, “I’m sorry to rush, but me and Cannon have to be going.”
Cannon looks mad as hell, but gets up and walks over to me.
“I loved dinner tonight, Collins. Thank you for the opportunity to taste authentic Southern food.” He gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, whispering in my ear, “We will discuss more tomorrow night.”
The morning seems to fly by, and before I know it, there is a knock at my office door.
“Come in.”
My assistant, Sierra, comes in and announces, “Ms. Danford, you have a call on line one. Are you available to accept it at this time?”
Wondering who it is, I say, “Yes, I am available.”
“This is Collins Danford.”
“I can’t believe you are working in Scotland and you weren’t going to let your best friend since childhood know.”
It’s the voice I ran from in Alabama. It’s my childhood best friend turned dirty whore.
“Preston, how did you know I moved to Scotland?”
“Your mother saw my mother at church Sunday and mentioned that you were visiting, but I knew that was a lie. You always said that if you got the courage up, you would leave this dumbass town.”
What the fuck? Why the hell would my mother talk to her mother? She knows what happened. That isn’t important anymore, what is important is that she knows where I am at and my personal office number.
“Okay, I’m not going to bullshit around. Why the hell are you calling me? I know it’s not to catch up.”
“I just wanted to say that Tyler and I are getting married at the end of the year, and we were hoping you would be there.”
I’m s
tunned and hurt. Stunned, because Tyler always said he would never get married or be “tied down” to someone. I guess it was just me he had a problem with. How is it that my best friend since I was six would do this to me?
“Collins?”
“Yes, I’m still here. I would just have to look at my schedule and go from there. In all honesty, I don’t think I want anything to do with y’all or your nuptials.” I slam the phone down and grab my stuff.
“Sierra, I am leaving for the rest of the day, and I will be back in the office by Monday morning. If you need anything, just call my personal cell.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Before I exited her office, I turn to her. “And please, Sierra, call me Collins.”
I decide to grab a bite to eat at a pub close to my apartment. I sit at a table close to the window, so I can people watch. The waiter comes and takes my order, and he seems like a nice young man.
As I stare out the window looking at different couples; young and old, I can’t help but wonder if I will ever have the kind of love that consumes you— the undeniable passion and chemistry that will set a room on fire. A man that will love me for me, all of me— the bad, the good, the me that I really am on the inside, the woman that rarely makes an appearance, because she is afraid of what one might think.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until the young waiter puts a hand on my shoulder, “Ma’am, are you okay?”
Wiping my tears away, I look up and respond, “Oh, yes, sorry about that. I was just letting my thoughts get the best of me.”
“Well, there is a gentleman wanting to know if you want some company.”
Wondering who it is, I look up and Dalton comes striding towards me. “Collins, I saw you over here and was wondering if you would like to join me for lunch?”
“Oh, I don’t want to impose on you, Dalton.”
“No, I insist and plus, it looks like you need the company.”
I’m astonished that the man who is always on his phone and making hard ass deals, the one, who is clearly in love with Parker, is worried about me.
“Sure, I could use a friend right about now.”
Dalton turns to the young waiter and says, “I would like to receive my lunch at this table and please, would you get me a refill of diet coke.”
He sits and situates himself into the chair, “So, Collins, would you like to talk about it or would rather talk about something light and funny?”
I think about it for a second and realize that I really needed to talk to someone about what happened today.
“Sure, but you better sit back and relax, it’s a doozy.”
I relay everything that happened today, and the reason why I left my small town in Alabama. He doesn’t interrupt me, and he never seems bored with the conversation. He looks like he is absorbing the information and preparing to respond with a serious opinion.
“First, are you happy here in Scotland?”
“Yes, this place feels more like home than my actual home.”
“Okay, so you know one thing. You didn’t make a rash or bad decision moving across the world. The next question is going to be hard, but it is necessary. How do you view yourself?”
I’m stunned at the mere question Dalton has just presented me. I don’t want to tell him that I view myself as a fat cow that will probably never know true love. But, I know if I want to start to heal or hell, even move on from Tyler and the fucked-up shit Cannon has done to my head, then I need to answer honestly.
“Dalton, I view myself as a person who will never know what love is, and I view myself as a plain woman who is not exactly pretty, but not too ugly either. I have accepted the fact that I will probably never know what is to experience the kind of love that you and Parker have.”
He is quiet but instantly fires back. “Collins Danford, I’ve only known you for a short time, but there is no way in hell that you are what you just said you are. You are intelligent and beautiful in your own way. What you just described yourself as is what that asshole told you to mess you up for his own sick cruelty.”
I ‘m floored by what Dalton just said to me. I just start to cry, and he pulls me into a hug. He is right, I deserve better than what I’m giving myself. It’s not going to be easy doing the actual healing, but it’s worth a shot.
I look at Dalton. “Thank you for saying that. I didn’t realize what I needed to hear until you said it.”
13
Realization
After lunch that day, I was looking forward to seeing my brother and telling him what occurred earlier that day. As I enter my apartment, I hear the sound of laughter. I wonder who Rogen is talking to? Maybe he met a friend or something. As I walked into the living room, I am floored at what I see.
Rogen and Cannon are talking about something. I just stand there like an idiot, and that’s when Rogen notices me.
“Sis, I didn’t hear you come in,” he says, giving me a hug. He continues, “Cannon, came by to talk to you. But, you hadn’t arrived yet so I said he could wait here.” He turns to Cannon and does a weird “bro-shake” and says, “Dude, you need to tell her about that story. I’m heading out with some people I met at the store the other day. Don’t wait up.” He winks and exits the room.
The door slams, and all of a sudden, it’s only me and Cannon. I’m about to ask him something, then he is right in my face; just inches from my lips. He stares into my eyes, then at my mouth. I just can’t help myself, I lick my lips just imagining him and the things he can do with his sexy mouth.
He catches me staring, and that’s all he needs. He grabs my face and kisses me, hard. You can almost feel the passion and heat passing between us. I’ve never been kissed like this before, and I can’t help but want more. He is biting my bottom lip and moaning into my mouth. He leans back and says, “Collins, take off your clothes and lay on the couch, now.”
I don’t know what made me obey him, but it’s like my body and my brain are on two different wavelengths. Right now, being possessed by him sounds so damn good. I strip for him, and he stands there watching me like I’m the sexiest woman on earth. But no, that can’t be right. I’m not sexy by any means, but at this very moment, I would kill to be everything for him. I lie down on the couch, not knowing what else to do.
He takes his shirt off. Fuck, he is fire. I am wet just looking at his descending V, and then the jeans follow, and there is the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. I am flooded by all the memories of our last time together, I get even wetter thinking about what I know that dick can do.
He comes over to the couch. “Fuck, you are so fucking sexy when you obey. Tell me, Collins, are you as wet as I am hard? Love, if I sink my fingers into you right now, are you wet for me?” he moves his hand to cup me. I moan but he doesn’t go any further. He growls, and says, “Answer me, are you fucking drenched for me?”
I say with frustration and eagerness, “Yes, fuck, I’m wet for you. Only you…” He is satisfied with my answer because he sinks a finger into me and it feels so good.
I start grinding my hips, and when I look down, he has positioned himself between my legs and says, “I’m going to eat you like you are my last fucking meal and then I’m going to fuck you until you realize I want you and no one else. Do you understand?”
Fuck, I understand. I damn near orgasm just hearing “eat you…” and ‘fuck you…”
“Yes, I understand.”
He dips his head down and begins to lick me with a passion. He looks at me while his mouth is doing such wicked things to me, and I am more turned on by watching him bring me pleasure. While he is licking, he sinks two fingers into me. And the tension is building deep inside me and then it snaps, giving me one of the best orgasms ever.
Without waiting, Cannon leans up and kisses me, swirling his tongue in my mouth. He rolls a condom on and positions himself at my entrance. I close my eyes waiting for total blissfulness, and he demands, “Collins, open your eyes and watch me fuck you. I want you to be staring at me when
you come, and I want you to be fucking screaming my name out when it happens.” I snapped my eyes open as he slams into me.
“Fuck, Cannon, fuck me harder. Please.” He lets loose and starts moving and filling every moment. I’m so close. He lifts my right leg over his shoulder and by that simple movement, he feels so much deeper in me, and I burst all over his dick, screaming, “Cannon!”
He begins to search for his release, and that’s when he starts to rub my clit, and I tense up again. No, this can’t be happening. I can’t handle another orgasm, but fuck there it is, this time Cannon joining in. He groans out, “Fuck, Collins!”
He collapses on me and moves to the side, still in me the entire time.
“Fuck, girl. That was the best sex of the entire year.” He is raining kiss all over my face and looking at me.
I honestly don’t know what to say. He just gave me the best orgasm of my entire life, and I’m still floored on why he wants to be with me of all people. I run my hands through his hair and lean down to kiss neck, and then I stick my tongue out and taste him.
That’s when it sparks my interest to wrap my lips around his big cock. I move my lips down to his nipple and start to suck on it. He is groaning, and his dick grows inside me and gets hard again.
He suddenly flips me onto my stomach and wraps a hand in my hair. Then he starts to really move, slamming into me with passion. “Is this what you want, love, rough? Do you like my dick inside you?”
I moan and say, “Fuck yes, Cannon. I fucking like your dick inside me, and I want it so fucking rough that I’m left walking around sore. That way I only think of you and what you can make me do.”
He likes that answer because he quickens his strokes and starts fingering me while his dick is slamming into me. He leans down, “Come for me, Collins.” And just like that, I’m coming for him, and he is so satisfied.
I look over my shoulder and find him with his head thrown back, releasing his pleasure. We collapse onto the couch beneath us, and a serene quietness falls around us.