For the first time in a long time, he felt a little insecure, a little vulnerable. For all of his celebrity, right there, in that moment, he was just a man. He already knew that Vivienne wasn’t with him because of who he was onstage; it was because of the person he was standing before her. And he had to wonder if that was enough. If he was enough.
“You’re looking pretty fierce,” Vivienne said softly, reaching up to smooth the creases on his forehead. “You okay?”
“I was just thinking about how amazing you are.”
“Matt…”
“And I can’t believe someone like you would want to be with someone like me,” he said, his voice like gravel.
She took a small step back. “Why would you say something like that?”
Hell. Why had he gone and said something like that?
Without answering, he took her by the hand and led her back to the bedroom. She protested slightly at first, but Matt simply guided her until they were lying back on the bed.
What he was going to say could possibly lead to Vivienne getting dressed and going home, but in his heart, Matt felt like there were things that needed to be said, needed to be addressed, so they could move forward. He didn’t want there to be any secrets between them and part of him needed to know that she knew exactly what she was dealing with where he was concerned.
He kept their hands linked together as he began to talk. “I wish we weren’t here in your brother’s house. I thought about that earlier. I thought maybe it would have been better if we had gone across the yard to your place.”
“Why?”
“In my mind, I kept thinking how I wanted this to be perfect—our first time.” He gave a small shrug. “It sounds a little ridiculous, I know, but…” He looked up and met her steady gaze. “I never brought a woman home with me. Ever. But you? I wanted to bring you home.”
She smiled. “And where is home?”
“Hell if I know,” he muttered. “I sold my place in LA and was renting the condo in Manhattan.” He rolled onto his back and let out a sigh of frustration. “I guess I was looking for something I can’t have. How screwed up is that?”
Without saying a word, she lay down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder.
Matt pulled her close, kissed the top of her head. “I haven’t thought about having a home in a while. I mean, I’ve had houses, and they were places I stopped and hung out while on a break from touring. Then I look at what Aaron’s done here and what you did with the guesthouse, and I want that. I’ve spent a lot of time in this house in the last two weeks, and I see the pictures, the personal touches he has in every room, and then I think about my place in LA. There was nothing of mine there. Seventeen rooms, and someone else decorated it and told me what I’d want to look at while I was there. God, what was I thinking?”
“You had other things on your mind,” she said simply. “Not everyone takes to the concept of making a house a home right out of the gate. You never saw where Aaron was living before he built this place.”
He chuckled. “No, I didn’t.”
“It was awful. He purchased a condo in Wilmington, right near downtown. It had a very industrial vibe, and he loved the exposed HVAC and the concrete floors. And I have to admit, when I first saw the place, before he moved in, I thought it had potential.”
“So what happened?”
“He pretty much treated it more like a garage than a home. His furniture was all mismatched; he kept his bike in the entryway and had his treadmill in the middle of the living room.” She groaned. “It was your typical bachelor pad, and it used to make me crazy to go there. I wanted to move things around and organize it, but Aaron wouldn’t let me.”
“That sounds about right. The places I’ve owned were always organized and done beautifully, but they felt very cold and sterile. No personality. I want that.”
“Then you should do it.” She placed a light kiss on his chest.
“I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”
Propping herself up on her elbow so she could face him, Vivienne smiled. “Pictures. That’s always a good place to start. Childhood pictures or pictures from your tours or places you’ve been. Surround yourself with things that make you smile.”
He reached up and caressed her cheek. “You make me smile.”
She blushed. “Some of my favorite pictures are the ones from when Aaron and I were little. I have a picture in my office of me and my grandfather. I was four, and it was Easter, and I was wearing a frilly, pink dress.” She smiled again. “He was a giant to me, my grandfather. I used to love spending time with him. We would have tea parties, and he’d carry me around on his shoulders, and I always looked forward to our Sunday dinners as a family.”
Growing up, Matt remembered being envious of Aaron’s family, mainly because he had one and Matt didn’t. Not really.
Vivienne looked at him, her head tilted as if she was considering her next words. “Tell me a good childhood memory.”
His eyes went wide for a moment. That wasn’t what he’d been expecting her to say. “I…I don’t think I have any.”
“Of course you do. It doesn’t have to be something big or a special occasion, just something that when you think about it, it makes you smile.”
Shit. Why couldn’t they have just gotten naked and made love again? There was nothing sexy about this conversation, and if anything, it was making him regret his earlier thoughts of wanting to spend the whole night together. When she softly said his name, Matt sighed.
“Before my mom left, when I was around eight, we used to go on movie dates once a month.” He took a deep breath. It had been a long time since he’d allowed himself to think about his past. “We’d go to the local theater—remember the one off of Fairway Oaks?—and she’d make it a dinner date. We’d get hot dogs and popcorn and candy and soda. It was like every kid’s dream meal.” He chuckled. “And when the movie was over, we’d spend the ride home critiquing the movie like we were Siskel and Ebert.”
He could feel Vivienne’s smile as she rested her head back on his chest. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”
Matt nodded. “It was.”
“Do you still like going to the movies?”
“I have no idea. I haven’t gone to a theater in years. With Netflix and being able to watch pretty much anything on demand, there really hasn’t been a reason to.”
“What about just for the fun of it? The experience?”
He shrugged. “Never seemed to be the time.”
“Did your dad take you after your mom left?”
“Yeah right,” he murmured with a mirthless laugh. “The old man didn’t want anything to do with me. He blamed me for all that was wrong in his life.”
Beside him, she gasped and raised her head again. “What?”
Now they had crossed the line into a territory he never wanted to talk about. Going for a distraction, Matt maneuvered them until she was beneath him, his hand on her bare hip. “That’s a story that is guaranteed not to make me smile, and…” He stopped and gently nipped at her throat. “I’d much rather be touching you and kissing you.”
She purred and wrapped her arms around him.
Could it be this easy? Was she capable of letting the topic go that fast? He seriously hoped so. But just to make sure, he ran his hand from her hip to her knee and guided her leg around his hip. The fabric of his jeans was probably a little rough against her soft skin, but he’d deal with that soon enough. Right now, it was more important to touch her and keep touching her until the only thing she could think about was him and how good he was making her feel.
* * *
Exhaustion.
But of the very best kind.
That was Vivienne’s first thought when she woke up. She and Matt had slept very little and she wasn’t the least bit sorry about it. Normally she was a girl who enjo
yed—no, loved—a good night’s sleep, but she’d gladly give that up if it meant experiencing the kind of pleasure she’d found in Matt’s arms.
Wow.
She had to fight a smile as she realized how lackluster her sex life had been up until this point. All along she’d thought it was good—perfectly enjoyable—but she knew now she’d only been fooling herself. And now it was official—Matt Reed had ruined her for other men.
And as she stretched and came up against his warm body, she didn’t even have the strength to care.
There wasn’t a doubt in her mind that this was a temporary arrangement—no doubt Matt would be getting antsy soon to return to his regular life back in the spotlight, back with the band and back to touring. Playing music and being on the road and in the spotlight was a large part of who he was. And if that didn’t send him packing soon, Vivienne had a feeling that once Aaron was back home, this new turn in their relationship would end.
A sad reality for sure.
Pushing those negative thoughts aside, she decided she would be okay with it. She was a realist if nothing else, and she knew sleeping with someone did not lead to forever and happily ever after. Sometimes relationships simply had an expiration date—some sooner than others—and as long as she didn’t lose sight of that fact, she knew she would be all right.
Maybe.
Hopefully.
Rolling over, she snuggled against him and was pleased when Matt’s arms immediately embraced her and pulled her close.
“Good morning,” he murmured.
“Mmm…yes it is.”
He chuckled. “Glad I’m not the only one thinking that way.” He kissed the top of her head before looking over at the bedside clock. “Wow…this is probably downright decadent for you. It’s after ten.”
She playfully smacked his arm as she laughed. “So I’m an early riser. It’s not a crime.”
“Oh, I know it’s not, but I’m just wondering how often you allow yourself to stay in bed and forget about your schedule.”
Damn. She did have some things she needed to do today.
“I ruined it, didn’t I?” he asked.
“What are you talking about?”
“I reminded you that real life is waiting outside the door, and now you’re worried about all the stuff you have to do.”
It was kind of impressive how he seemed to know her so well. Or was she just that transparent?
“I do have some stuff that needs my attention today,” she began and then started placing tiny kisses on his chest, “but not my immediate attention.”
Matt groaned as he fisted his hand in her long hair, effectively holding her to him. “That feels so good.”
Lightly running her tongue over his nipple, she smiled as he hissed. “You taste pretty good too.”
“Viv…”
“Shh,” she said, moving so she was on top, and then further silenced him with a kiss that was deep and wet and full of promise. When she lifted her head, she smiled at the look of pure pleasure on his face.
One of his hands skimmed down her back until it rested right above her bottom. She liked it—it felt warm, a little rough, and very possessive.
A girl could get used to this, she thought.
Leaning back down, she continued kissing his jaw, his throat, and then she returned to his chest, loving the feel of him moving beneath her.
She should have been sated.
Hell, at the very least, she should be sore and ready for a bit of a break.
But one feel of Matt’s arousal pressing against her belly and all Vivienne could think was, More.
Matt hissed her name as she moved above him, sliding along the hardened length of him. “What is it you want, baby?” he asked, his voice gruff.
“You,” she replied honestly. “I want more of you.”
“You have me. All of me.”
And right before he slid back inside of her, all Vivienne could think was, But for how long?
* * *
Two days later, Vivienne found Matt sitting on the sofa in Aaron’s living room, strumming his guitar. It was almost noon on a Tuesday, and she had a little bit of a surprise for him.
“Hey,” she called out walking into the room. “Whatcha playing?”
Shrugging, he put the guitar aside and stood to kiss her. She loved this, the way he was always touching her, always wanting to show affection. It was so new—not just because it was Matt but also because it was just new to her in general—and she found she enjoyed it.
“I was just goofing around. Nothing’s coming to me that’s sticking. Sometimes it’s fun to play gibberish.”
“Gibberish? Does that even apply for music?”
He laughed. “It does for my music.” And then he kissed her again.
Breathless, she pulled back and smiled. “I’ll take your word for it.” Stepping away, she looked and noted he was showered and dressed, and if he put on shoes, he’d be ready to go out. Taking a deep breath, she looked him straight in the eye and said, “Get your shoes. We’re leaving.”
“What?” he cried. “Where? Why? I…I thought we’d make sandwiches for lunch.”
The look of panic was almost comical, and she knew she had to proceed very carefully. Reaching out, she took both of his hands in hers and smiled sweetly. “I have a surprise for you.”
“Viv…”
“Have I asked anything of you since you’ve been here?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “Have I made any crazy demands on your time?”
“No,” he grumbled with a pout.
“Have I pushed you in any way, shape, or form?”
He sighed loudly. “No.”
“So then can you please just trust me on this?”
Matt studied her for a long time and she knew he was struggling with wanting to argue with her some more. His shoulders slumped slightly and he frowned. “Fine.”
“That’s the spirit,” she said brightly. “Now get your shoes or we’ll be late.”
Without a word, Matt turned and walked to his bedroom. While he was gone, Vivienne walked around shutting off lights and making sure he hadn’t left any food out anywhere—it was her own little thing. She liked to know she was leaving the space neat and organized.
Behind her, Matt cleared his throat, and when she turned around, she almost burst out laughing. “Really? That’s what you’re going with?” she asked. He had put on a pair of sneakers, sunglasses, a baseball hat, a scarf, and a hooded sweatshirt. “Seriously? What is this all about?”
He shrugged and walked toward the back door. “I have no idea where we’re going, and I just don’t want to be recognized.”
She could only stare as he walked out the door. With a shake of her head, she followed, locking the door behind her. “Just FYI,” she began as they made their way across the yard toward her driveway, “it’s a little overkill. You’re not going to have to worry about anyone knowing who you are.”
He stopped midstride and turned to her. “How can you be sure? And for that matter, how would I know? You haven’t told me where we’re going.”
She sighed. “I wanted it to be a surprise, and I had hoped you would trust me.” As much as Vivienne didn’t want to feel hurt, she was. For the last couple of days, they had been closer than she ever could have imagined. They cooked together, spent hours and hours just talking, and the nights? Well, those were something else completely. Every time Matt touched her, it was like she was learning something more about herself and she was having just as much fun discovering him. And just thinking that he didn’t trust her…well, it certainly didn’t feel good.
“You’re right,” he said, his voice low. “I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me or make me uncomfortable.”
They had reached Vivienne’s sporty little SUV, and it wasn’t until they were seated an
d the car was started that she turned to him. “Thank you.”
Matt was looking slightly more relaxed, but he was still pretty much covered from head to toe. “Can you give me a hint?”
“Let’s just say it has to do with food,” she replied cryptically.
“Oh great…we’re going food shopping, aren’t we? We’re going to wander up and down the aisles, and you’re going to make me push the cart, and I’m going to have to give my opinion on which melon smells better. That’s it, isn’t it?”
There was no way not to laugh. “Wow. That is quite the scenario. Pretty impressive. I didn’t realize you had such a colorful imagination.”
He looked at her and grinned. “Really? Have I not been imaginative these last few days?”
Vivienne blushed at all the ways he had been.
“Ah…so you do remember,” he said silkily. Reaching over, he placed his hand over hers. “We could turn the car around and I promise to be even more imaginative.” Leaning over, he ran his tongue along the slender column of her throat. “I’ve been thinking about your office.”
She looked at him quizzically. “My office?”
Matt nodded. “It’s the only room in your house we haven’t properly christened. I kind of like the thought of having you in there while you’re all in business mode and working at your desk and then…messing you up.” He nipped at her earlobe. “Laying you on the desk and kissing every inch of your body. Mmm.”
Yes, the man certainly had a great imagination because she could totally picture that scenario pretty clearly now and was having second thoughts about her plans.
No! she chided herself. Stick to the plan!
“Nice try,” she said, patting his hand. “But I think we’re going to do this my way.”
“But—”
“Matt!” she quickly interrupted. “You have to trust me.”
Vivienne steered the car around town. She had lived there most of her life, and Matt had grown up there as well. She stole a glance at him and wondered what was going through his mind. Certainly things had changed since he’d last been there, but was he remembering what it all used to look like? Did he have fond memories of the places? The people?
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