“He sounded ok. Asked how you were doing.” I grabbed one end of the cooler and Cyn grabbed the other, and we waddled out the door to my truck.
“What did you tell him?” I flipped the tailgate down, and we hoisted the cooler in.
“That you’re happy. Figuring things out.” Cyn smiled at me, and I realized it didn’t reach her eyes.
“You ok, Cyn?”
“I’m pregnant, Meg.” Cyn blurted, with instant tears streaming down her face.
“Oh my God.” I cried and threw my arms around Cyn and pulling her in for a hug.
“It’s Asshat’s, Meg. I’m meeting him tonight to let him know. I don’t know what I am going to do.” Cyn sobbed.
“I’ll come with you. You don’t need to do this alone,” I added, wiping tears from her cheeks.
“No, I need to do this by myself. I just needed to tell you. I had to tell someone. My mom doesn’t even know yet. I was going to tell you last weekend but then the whole Lo thing happened, and I figured I have nine months to figure this out, so I just put it on the back burner and focused on you.”
“Cyn! What the hell! Your problems are just as important as mine! You should have told me!”
“I did, just now, and I feel a thousand times better,” Cyn said, relieved.
“I love you, Cyn. You don’t need to do this all alone. I’m here for you. Troy too, in his own way.” I laughed, and Cyn smiled. The smile finally reached her eyes.
“Please, Troy is probably going to freak out more than my mom will.” Cyn joked.
“You’re probably right, but you know he’ll be there for you.”
“Ok, ok, enough of this crying. Let’s get to the boat landing and get Remy’s party started.” Cyn slammed the tailgate shut and headed back into the house to grab her bag.
Cyn was pregnant. Holy shit. I climbed into the truck and waited for Cyn to come out.
Cyn was going to be a mom. Wow.
“Meg! Blue is freaking out and won’t let me out the door.” Cyn yelled from the house.
“He wants to come along. Let him out!” I yelled back, laughing. The fucking dog thought he needed to always be with me.
Blue came bounding out the door with Cyn on his heels, and they both hopped in the truck. “Your dog is not normal, Meg. He looks at you, and it’s like you can tell what he’s thinking.” Blue laid his head on Cyn’s lap and looked up at her. “Ok, I’ll pet you.” Cyn murmured.
“That’s just your maternal instinct coming out.” I joked as I backed out of the driveway.
Cyn threw her hand up in the air and pushed Blue off her lap. “That is not funny!” Cyn screeched.
Blue sat up and looked at her like she had offended him, then laid his head on my lap and snuggled next to me. Although it wasn’t hard for him to snuggle. Blue was not exactly tiny and took up all of the middle seat. “Mama still loves you, Blue,” I said as I rubbed his head.
“What am I am going to do, Meg?” Cyn mumbled, on the verge of tears again.
“Have a baby and be the second most awesome mom ever!” I squealed. Cyn was freaking out enough. I didn’t need to weigh her down with all the other things that are going to come along. I decided to just focus on the fact she was going to be a mom, and that was awesome no matter who you talked to.
“I guess you’re the first most awesome mom?” Cyn asked, pulling a napkin out of the glove box and blew her nose.
“I’m the original, baby.” I threw a wink at Cyn, and we both laughed.
“Thank you, Meg.”
“You helped me, Cyn, now I get to help you, honey.”
We cruised out of town, past the clubhouse and I looked for Lo, hoping to catch a glimpse of him, but saw no one. I missed him.
“You know who you are Meg, now you need to figure what you want,” Cyn said as we pulled onto the highway.
“What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”
“Then he’s a fucking idiot who doesn’t deserve you. We can become lesbians, run away and raise my baby together if he doesn’t want you anymore.” Cyn joked.
“As appealing as that sounds Cyn, I don’t think you can do the things Lo can do to me.”
“Oh please! I do not want to know. The next time I see him, all I am going to be thinking about is all the things I’m not getting that you are getting. Then I’m going to imagine Lo and then things are going to get awkward because I’m picturing Lo’s junk. Just stop.” Cyn begged.
“It’s pierced. His junk that is.” I sang out.
“Oh my god! La la la la!” Cyn cried as she covered her ears with her hands. “I can’t hear you!”
I threw my head back laughing and tugged her left arm down. “I figured your daydreams should be detailed.”
Cyn squealed, and we both broke out into a fit of giggles.
“How often have you talked to him?” I asked after we got ourselves under control.
“Just twice honey. If it makes you feel better, he sounds like he misses you.”
It did make it better, just a little. “OK, enough depressing talk! You are pregnant, and I need to get my man back. Both things we can deal with later. Wait, you snuck wine coolers in the cooler, what’s up with that?”
“Just because I can’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t. I’m your DD for the next 9 months. Time to take advantage.”
“Heck yeah, except getting drunk at Remy’s seventeenth birthday party is not where I should start taking advantage of this.” We both laughed
“You’re probably right.”
“Yup.”
“We’ll go to the bar after.” Cyn cracked.
We both burst out laughing. I finally felt happy except for one thing.
I knew what I had to do, now I just needed to get the balls to do it. I needed to get Lo back.
Soon.
======
Chapter 23
Lo
“I roll into town for a weekend of drinking and partying with my best friend and what do I get? You, sitting in the fucking corner, drinking by yourself. Look at all this pussy you have crawling all over! Why the hell isn’t one of these bitches in your lap while another sucks your dick!”
It was Saturday night, and Slider was in town from the Collinsworth chapter. He was the Sgt. at Arms there and was one of the brothers I was closest to down there. We both prospected at the same time and rose up the ranks next to each other. Slider was a big motherfucker who would lay his life down for the club, just like all the other brothers, but Slider was different. You could tell he had demons that were chasing him.
“I’m good, brother,” I spoke as Slider grabbed the chair next to me and sat down. He slammed his bottle of beer on the table and threw the shot he had in his other hand back.
“Bullshit, brother! What the fuck is your deal?” Slider asked.
“This shit just isn’t my scene anymore, brother. Just looking for something different.”
“That mean you’re leaving the fucking club?” Slider boomed.
“Motherfucker better not leave the fucking club.” Demon snapped as he plopped down in the chair next to me.
“I am not leaving the fucking club. Fuck me.” I thundered.
“Then what the fuck has got you tucked away in the fucking corner, crying in your motherfucking beer? I repeat, have you seen all this pussy you have?” Slider remarked as he grabbed a blonde haired piece of pussy as she walked past and pulled her into his lap.
“Don’t do it, Slider.” Demon muttered, knowing what Slider was about to do. I knew what he was about do and I already wanted to punch him in the face.
“You know King, baby?” Slider asked the chick.
“Everyone knows, King.” She said as she ran her hand down Slider’s chest.
“I think he needs a little pressure released, honey, you think you can help him out with that?” Slider asked.
The blonde shook her head and looked at King. “We’re not supposed to touch him.”
“What the fuck are you talking about, bit
ch?” Slider yelled, drawing the attention of everyone within twenty feet.
“He’s got an old lady. Cherry tried to get with him last week, he told her to fuck off. She hasn’t been back since. I tried talking her into it, but she just won’t. She was my best friend.” The blonde pouted.
“Come find me later.” Slider told the blonde as he shoved her off his lap. She pouted her bottom lip out and tried climbing back in his lap. “I said find me later, bitch.” He shoved her again harder this time. She teetered on her heels but righted herself before she fell. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, crossed her arms over her huge tits and stalked out the door.
“Fucking bitches.” Slider grumbled. “What the fuck is this about you having an ol’ lady?” Slider demanded.
“Had.” Demon mumbled.
I shot a look to Demon telling him to shut the fuck up. “Her name is Meg, and she will be back.”
“You need to stop this fucking waiting and go take her back,” Demon insisted.
I grabbed my beer off the table and leaned back in my chair. The thought had definitely crossed my mind to just go talk to Meg. Twice, I had gotten on my bike and headed to her house, only to drive by. I didn’t want to push her into something that she didn’t want. I needed her to come to me. “She’ll be back,” I stated. She had to come back, or I was going to go fucking crazy without her.
Slider smirked at me, and I knew some shit was about to flow from his mouth. “How the mighty have fallen. Pussy is three deep in here, and you don’t want none of it. I got to document this.’ Slider pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture. ‘Geeze, you can see how pussy whipped he is.” Slider laughed at the picture then showed it to Demon.
“You hungry?” I asked Slider.
“Yeah, I could fucking eat.” Slider slid his phone back into his pocket and grabbed his beer.
“Good, because I’m about to shove that motherfucking phone down your throat,” I growled at him.
“Jesus. He sure does get pissy when he doesn’t get pussy, right Demon?” Demon just shook his head and smiled at Slider. At least that fucker knew when not to open his fucking mouth.
“I’m heading to my room, fuckers.” I finished off my beer and shoved my chair back.
“Really man? It’s only eight! This piece of fucking pussy has got you in fucking knots, King.” Slider remarked.
“She’s not just some pussy,” I called as I walked away from the table. I walked up to the bar and snagged a half-empty bottle of tequila and headed to my room.
“I’ll send someone to check on you in a little bit, King. Make sure you let her tuck you in.” Slider yelled.
I threw my middle finger up and kept walking. Fucking Slider. I twisted the cap off the bottle and threw it down the hall.
I threw back a slug of tequila and felt it burn down my throat. I fucking missed Meg.
I walked into my room and slammed the door shut. I threw the dead bolt, not wanting any of Slider’s company he might send my way to get in.
Meg had one more week, and then I was going to take her, whether she liked it or not.
I was done playing around.
======
Meg
“That was fun, but I think I look like a lobster,” Cyn said as she slathered lotion on her shoulders.
“You do look a little pink, honey.” I murmured.
We had just got back from the lake, where we did have a blast, but Cyn didn’t take my advice about suntan lotion. She insisted she had a good base tan and she wouldn’t burn. She was wrong.
“How come you didn’t burn?” Cyn asked.
“Because I put suntan lotion on, just like I told you to do.” I chided.
“Sorry, mother,” Cyn muttered.
I shook my head at her and sat down on the couch.
We had dropped Remy and his friends off at his dad’s so I, again, had the house to myself and I already felt lonely, even with Cyn here. We had invited Troy over, but he had a date with what’s her face. I felt that she hadn’t earned the right for me to learn her name. Hell, Cyn had been about to marry some guy and I never really remembered his name. And had to book it back to his house before she came over. She had apparently healed from their last date and decided to go out with him again.
“I’m lonely, Cyn,” I whispered. In all of my thirty-six years, I had never felt alone. I was always content with my own company, now, it felt like I was missing something.
“Why?” Cyn asked. She was now slathering lotion on her chest, and I could see her skin glistening.
“I don’t know.” Bullshit, I totally knew why. I just couldn’t admit it.
“Meg, I love you like a sister, but you need to suck it the fuck up and go get your man. You’re lonely because you want Lo. Nothing is going to make your loneliness go away except Lo. Go. Get. Him.” Cyn ordered.
“Tell me how you really feel,” I muttered. But Cyn was so right. I needed to suck it up, put all my fears aside, and just go for it with Lo.
“Meg, do you love him?”
“Yes.” Geez, I didn’t even hesitate.
“Then what the fuck are you waiting for? You have a guy who I know loves you, and you love him, why are you not with him right now? I am about to have a baby with a man I can’t stand, and I am terrified out of my fucking mind. But you know what?” Cyn asked.
“What, honey?” I felt so stupid for being scared and complaining to Cyn about it when she was about to have a baby and didn’t know what was going to happen.
“I have my family, you, and Troy and I know that I will be okay. Just like I know you will be fine with whatever happens. Just like Troy said, Hunter put you in a cage and you were stuck there. But you’re not stuck there anymore, honey. The door to your cage is wide open, you just need to step out.”
Cyn was right. I wanted Lo, so I was going to take him. Fuck getting hurt. “Ok, I’m going to go talk to him. But first, I need to do something. You still have that friend who works at Iron Lotus?” I asked. If I was going to step out of my cage and start living, I was going to do it right.
“Um, yeah. Why? Oh! Are you going to get your nipples pierced? That is so hot!” Cyn squealed. Iron Lotus was the tattoo and piercing parlor in town.
“No, at least not right now.” Hey, if I was stepping out of my cage I figured I shouldn’t rule anything out completely.
“So tattoo?”
“Yeah, do you think you can see if she has an opening like, well, right now?” I asked. Short notice I know, but it was something I needed to do before I saw Lo.
Cyn pulled her phone out of her pocket, and I walked into the bathroom, so I didn’t chicken out and grab the phone out of her hand and change my mind. I shut the door behind me and looked in the mirror.
I took stock of everything I saw, and for once I was ok with everything there was. I looked at my clothes; faded jeans, black ribbed tank top, and my favorite jeweled flip flops. My hair was thrown up in a messy bun, with random pieces of hair falling out. I looked like your average middle age woman, but this was me. I was a jeans and tank tops, truck driving, dog loving mother to the best kid ever. I had lots of sass, ass, and tits, and I was completely ok with that. It was who I was, and that was who Lo wanted.
Hunter may not have physically hurt me, but he left scars nonetheless. My perception of who I thought I was and who I really was were two completely different things. Hunter had hurt me for so long that I had shut down and lost all my confidence and accepted what he thought I was. Not anymore. I wasn’t lost and scared anymore. I was fucking awesome and completely worthy of Lo.
I just had one stop to make before I closed the door to the cage with me standing one the other side, then I was all Lo’s.
======
Chapter 24
Meg
I got out of my truck and flinched. The tattoo didn’t hurt when Cyn’s friend was doing it, but fuck did it hurt now. I gently rubbed my shoulder to soothe the pain and looked around. I was in the Clubhouse parking l
ot. I hadn’t chickened out yet, but I was definitely having second thoughts. The parking lot was full of bikes and quite a few cars.
I slammed my door shut and grabbed my overnight bag out of the back of the truck. Cyn had convinced me to pack a bag, said it would look like I meant business and really wanted Lo back. I told her it made me look like a slut, expecting to spend the night, but Cyn had won, so here I stood with my bag.
“Holy shit, that you, Meg?” I heard from behind me.
I spun around and saw Demon walking towards me. Shit, I needed more time to get my head together, also to pop a couple of aspirins to help with the throbbing in my shoulder.
“Please tell me you’re here to put King out of his fucking misery.” Demon pleaded. He stopped in front of me, putting his hands on his hips.
“I think it’s more to put myself out of misery,” I mumbled. I hitched my bag over my shoulder and fumbled with my keys.
“You want me to walk you in? Show you where his room is?” Demon asked.
“Um, yeah. But I was kind of getting my courage up, give me a second.” I quaked. I was a freaking mess right now. I was so worried about Lo not wanting me or being with some other woman when I walked in, I felt like I was about to puke.
“Like a band-aid, babe, quick and fast.” Demon said as he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the door.
“Bikers do Band-Aids? I figured you guys were so bad ass that when you get hurt, you just rub some dirt on it and let it be.” I tried picturing Lo with a band aid on, and I started giggling. The giggling might have something to do with the fact the band aid I pictured was a princess one.
“You drunk, babe?” Demon asked, looking at me like I was crazy.
“No, sober as a judge. Scouts honor.” We made it to the door and Demon threw it open. My body went solid, and I stopped walking. I jerked Demon to a stop, and he tugged on my arm.
“Either you walk your sweet ass to his door, or I throw you over my shoulder and make you talk to him.” Demon threatened.
My feet came unstuck, and I followed Demon in. Music was pouring out of two big speakers set by the front door, it was so loud I could barely hear myself think.
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