Daphne almost simpered. ‘Oh, do you like it? I couldn’t resist it, and that’s the truth of it. I found it this afternoon, in a shop on Charles Street. Ever so dear, it was, but I thought – why not? All that overtime money and all, and here I am in America so why not? And they said a hat’d look nice and showed me some and I couldn’t resist this one. The girl in the shop was ever so nice, said I should try her make-up and everything and you know me, never one for much of that but it seems all right here, doesn’t it? So I went and bought some.’ She giggled. ‘I’ve had a lovely time, because then I went to the pictures and I saw ever such a lovely film with Richard Burton, The Robe it was, really lovely, and then I had some supper in a nice restaurant – it’d have been nice to have a girlfriend to go with, but you can’t have everything, can you? Though it’d be nice to have someone to chat to –’
‘Where are the boys?’ Maddie said again and her lips were stiff and her voice half choked with the fear that had so inexplicably filled her, but Daphne’s tide of chatter went on and on until at last Maddie managed to shout it. ‘Where are the boys? Goddamn you, where are my boys?’
Daphne turned and blinked at her, her hands ludicrously above her head, as she had been trying to untangle her veil from her hair and she stared, her mouth half open, and then almost gasped with anxiety.
‘Oh dear, Mummy, didn’t you find my note? I left it on the dressing table in the room – to explain to you. He said not to wake you, so I didn’t –’
‘Who said – what note?’ Maddie’s voice was husky now, and she still had to stand there holding on to the bar, unable to move her legs.
Daphne had her hat off now and was hurrying across the room, her thick legs looking wider than ever over the red pumps she had bought and which were clearly rather small for her. ‘Here it is!’ she called from the bedroom and came out holding a piece of paper in front of her. ‘I was sure you’d go in there to see if we were there, and would see the note. I dare say I should have put it in the bathroom but you know how it is when there’s a rush on and he was in such a hurry, you know how he is sometimes. So I just left it there. Oh dear, poor Mummy, have you been all worried? Of course you have, I would’ve been too. Oh, I do blame myself. I should’ve come back and told you before going off on a jaunt of my own, but it’s the first chance I’ve had since we got here, and I did so want to have a look round the shops and spend a little. And after I’d been given all that extra money and all, I suppose it was burning a hole in my pocket. But it’s all right, Mummy. There’s no need to fret you.’ Her eyes slid down to the bar and the glass of whisky on it and she stopped and then, with elephantine tact, said, ‘Well, now, come and sit down, do. I’ll make you a nice cup of tea, shall I? I got the hotel to send up the makings. Couldn’t be doing with the sort of stuff they sent up when I ordered tea on room service – just lukewarm dishwater, that was – come and sit down now, Mummy, and I’ll soon have you as right as ninepence.’
Maddie closed her eyes in an agony of frustration. ‘Where are they, for Christ’s sake! If you don’t tell me I’ll –’
‘It’s all right!’ Daphne said soothingly. ‘They’re with Daddy, of course. No need to fret. They’re with Daddy!’
The wash of relief that came over her was so great that she actually rocked on her feet and Daphne seized her in a practised grip and led her to a sofa, and she stumbled a little and plumped down gratefully. Of course they were all right. There had been no need to panic like this. It had been her guilty conscience, that was the thing. She’d spent no time at all with them since they got here, had left everything to Daphne, no wonder she felt bad about them. But they were all right, they were with their father –
‘When will they be back?’ She looked down at Daphne, who was now on her knees in front of her, and scrubbing at her skirt with a damp napkin she had brought from the bar, working on the whisky stain on the front panel of the pale blue silk. ‘Leave that, it doesn’t matter – when will they be back?’
Daphne sat back on her heels and looked at the stain and then up into her face. ‘It seems a pity to let it be spoiled,’ she said a little censorially, and then looked worried. ‘Are you feeling all right, Mummy? It’s not like you to – er – well, indulge is the word, isn’t it? Can I help? A trouble shared and all that, you know what they say …’ And she looked up at her with her face twisted with so much sympathy that Maddie could have smacked it.
‘I’m all right,’ she said brusquely. ‘I simply spilled – look, why aren’t they back yet? Where did he take them? It’s getting on for –’ She looked at her watch. ‘It’s damn near a quarter to ten! They should have been in bed ages ago!’
Daphne laughed merrily. ‘I’m sure they are! No need to worry, Mummy. I do wish you’d seen the note – there it is now. That’ll explain it all.’
She pointed at the piece of paper which Maddie was still holding and she blinked and then looked down and unfolded it and began to read.
‘Dear Mummy,’ ran Daphne’s big round handwriting. ‘Such fun for us! Daddy has said he wants the boys to have a weekend playing by the seaside, so he’s collected them to go down to the house where he is staying at Cape Cod (I’ll have mine with chips, ha ha!) and he will bring them back on Sunday in good time lor bed. I have packed their shorts and the blue striped shirts and plenty of nappies – I should call them diapers! – and the rubber pants for Danny and Daddy says he can get them swimming costumes when they get there, as well as buckets and spades. He says if you want him the phone number is Osterville 722911 but it might be better not. He says to say he sends his love and have a nice weekend. Yours Daphne. PS I thought I’d pop out too, as Daddy has given me the time off. I should be in around nine or so.’
‘There,’ Daphne said. ‘You see? Nothing to worry about at all.’
36
August 1953
Osterville. She read it again and again. Osterville. If it had been anywhere else it might have been his parents’ place, but there could be no doubt about this and she lifted her head and looked at Daphne and said dully, ‘Did he say who else would be there?’
The girl looked uncomfortable for a moment and then smoothed her face. ‘Just people, he said. I was a bit bothered about the boys to tell the truth – Buster needs to be reminded, you see. If he isn’t he gets ever so sore and I’m just beginning to get him trained so I said to Daddy –’
Maddie closed her eyes and said it again, slowly, working so hard at controlling herself that her whole body felt as rigid as a board. ‘Who else will be there?’
‘It’s that Mr Costello’s house,’ Daphne said after a moment and got to her feet and stood with her head bent, brushing invisible dust from her knees so that she need not look at Maddie. ‘Daddy said not to worry about Buster and his potty, that she – that Mr Costello’s daughter’d be there and anyway they had a housekeeper and all like that, so I didn’t need to go with them.’
She reddened then and this time did look up at Maddie. ‘I didn’t ask if I could go for my own pleasure, you know, Mummy! I said it was just the boys I wanted to look after, that it was my responsibility and that, but Daddy said –’ She stopped. ‘He was quite nice about it really, I suppose. He just said he wanted the boys to get to know Mr Costello and his daughter and they couldn’t do that so easy if I was there all the time and he gave me the extra money and that and – well, you’d been out all evening, and I didn’t like to wake you to ask what to do and –’
Suddenly Maddie wasn’t listening to her any more. The realisation of what was possible had broken over her like a tidal wave as she had suddenly found herself thinking of last night with Gian, and she was on her feet and running to the phone, throwing herself at the drawer which held the directory, scrambling through the pages with shaking fingers. It seemed to take her twice as long to find it this time as it had at the Chinese restaurant, but at last there it was, and she seized the phone and somehow managed to dial, misdialling once since she was so agitated, and having to try again,
but eventually she was through.
The number rang and rang, bleating away interminably in her ear until she wanted to throw the whole handset violently at the wall, but she managed to control it and dialled again, and yet again, waiting and praying for an answer.
But there was none. There was no way she could get hold of Gian Giovale and make sure that all that rubbish he had spouted last night when she had been so weak and dizzy and stupid with fatigue and fear had been just that; rubbish, and she stood there clutching the phone to her head with white-knuckled intensity, trying to think what to do as Daphne stood and stared at her, wide-eyed and frankly disapproving, clearly certain that Maddie had gone mad. Or was drunk. And Maddie felt her eyes on the stain on her dress and felt her own rage rise and turned her back on her.
And now what? Something had to be done, but oh God, what? And she stood there as the phone in the empty house on the other side of Boston rang on and on, trying to imagine it; phoning Jay, telling him what had happened between her and Gian Giovale, explaining the risk, making sure he got out with the children, didn’t stay in the house – and her gorge rose and she literally retched.
But it had to be done and she flung the phone back on its hook, and then ran across the room to pick up the discarded piece of paper that was Daphne’s note and smooth it out and find the number on it.
It seemed to take for ever to get the long distance operator to answer, to get her to connect her to Osterville, but then at last the sound came, the steady burring in her ear, and for one mad hopeful moment she thought, there’s no one there. It isn’t there he’s taken them. They’ve gone somewhere else, somewhere different, somewhere safe –
But then the connection was made and she heard a sudden burst of music and voices and someone shouted in her ear, ‘Yeah? Who is it?’
‘I want to speak to Mr Kincaid, please,’ she said and knew her voice was still. ‘It’s urgent.’
‘Who? There ain’t – oh, Kincaid? Jay – hey, there’s a broad here wants Jay. Where is he?’
There was more music and the loud din of voices and she stood there staring unseeingly at Daphne as she listened, straining to hear something beyond the fuzziness of mere noise, and then heard someone else bawling, ‘Jay … where’s that bastard Kincaid?’
And then at last, there he was, the familiar voice at the end of the phone and she gasped, ‘Oh, Christ, Jay, thank God – listen, you have to get them out of there, you and the boys, you have to get out of there –’
‘What the – who is this?’ Jay’s voice was cool, a little thick perhaps, and she thought: he’s been drinking. That bastard’s been drinking and the boys –
‘Christ, Jay, the boys! Where are they?’
‘Maddie?’ he said after a moment and now his voice had lost its thickness and sounded just guarded. ‘What is it? What do you want?’
‘I told you, get the boys out of there – it’s dangerous! For Christ’s sake, will you listen to me. This is urgent –’
‘Listen, Maddie, I can’t talk now. They’ve got people here –it’s all a bit tricky. Call me in the morning, hmm? Then we can talk, whatever it is. But there’s no problem. The boys are great, fine. In bed, asleep, fine. Now just you go to bed and tomorrow we’ll talk –’
‘No –’ she shrieked and grabbed at her own hair with her other hand as the connection was broken and pulled hard in her desperate frustration and Daphne yelled at her and jumped forwards.
‘Mummy, please, don’t – what’s the matter? The boys –what’s the matter?’
‘He hung up on me,’ she cried. ‘The bastard hung up on me –I have to talk to him. I have to –’ and again she began to scrabble for the phone dial, but twice her fingers slipped and after a moment Daphne leaned over her and said, ‘I’ll do it, Mummy. Leave it to me. Give me the number.’
Gratefully she let the phone go and pushed the piece of paper at her, still shaking, and as Daphne began to dial the operator, she went across to the bar to get the remainder of her drink. She had to do something to steady herself, had to find some way to stop this awful shaking and she picked up the glass and turned back toward the phone, drinking as she went, to find Daphne’s eyes fixed accusingly on her as she held on to the earpiece.
‘What are you –’ she began but then Daphne held up her hand and said in the special refined voice she tended to put on when she used the phone, ‘Is that the Costello residence? May I speak with Mr Jay Kincaid please? It is a matter of some importance. Thank you so much –’ And she put her hand over the mouthpiece and hissed at Maddie, ‘He’s coming –’
Maddie hurried towards her, and set her empty glass on the table beside the phone and held out her hand, but Daphne was speaking again. ‘Hello, Mr Kincaid? Oh, yes, Daddy, this is Daphne … what? Well …’ She looked up then at Maddie and stared at her, listening hard, and Maddie stood as though frozen in mid-action with her hand held out.
‘No, Daddy, not really … well, maybe a bit. She’s been awfully upset. She didn’t find the note I left, you see, and was ever so worried and then when I came in and she found out where the boys were she … what? Well, she has –’ She turned her back then on Maddie and dropped her voice. ‘She has had a couple of drinks, I think. Like I said to you last night, it isn’t like Mummy to take whisky but she did the night before last and I think last night too, going by the smell and –’
It was more than Maddie could bear for another moment and she threw herself at Daphne, pushing her aside, and grabbed the phone from her hand so violently that the girl lurched and almost fell.
‘Jay, for Christ’s sake, listen to me. I have to tell you something. Don’t hang up or you’re a dead man –’
‘Maddie, what’s gotten into you? Are you crazy?’ Jay’s voice clacked in her ear full of what? Anger? Pain? No, nothing as important as that. No more than simple embarrassment. ‘What are you doing sloshing whisky, for Pete’s sake? Do you have to make such a federal case out of this? So we’ve had a breakup, okay! It happens. It’s happened to a lot of people and now it’s happened to us. Don’t turn into one of those goddamn witches over it. You don’t need that.’
‘It’s not that, it isn’t –’ she gabbled but he wasn’t going to stop this time.
‘I’ve thought a lot about it since we talked, believe me, and I just don’t see what you’re making so much over it for. People get divorced all the time, I told you. I wanted this to be a good quiet decent arrangement, but you have to make it into a bad scene. Okay, so make it! But I have the right to take my own kids to see their future stepmother if I choose to, without having to put up with a lot of hysterical shit from you over it –’
it’s not about her, for God’s sake, I’m not calling about her –it’s the boys and you. Jay, I have to tell you I did a crazy thing. I talked to Gian Giovale about this, and –’
‘Listen, are you drunk? Daphne said you’ve been mopping it up a bit. Are you drunk now?’
There was a sudden roar of sound over the phone and a burst of even louder music and she winced as he bawled at someone, ‘For Chrissakes, shut the door a minute, will you? I can’t hear myself think here –’ And then she said breathlessly, ‘You’re as likely to be drunk as I am. Listen, Jay, I told Gian and he said –’
‘Who?’
‘Oh, God, Gian Giovale, the man who was in London with us in June and –’
‘Oh, him. You talked to him? Why did you – for Chrissakes, will you people shut that lousy door! – Maddie, what are you going on about? Listen, I can’t handle all this right now. Call me tomorrow, all right. This is a crazy way to talk, a mad party going on here and all that –’
‘He’s going to kill you!’ she shrieked. ‘He’s going to kill you –’
‘Listen, Maddie, when you start making stupid cracks like that, I’ve had it up to here. Call me tomorrow, when you’re sober – and don’t bother to call back tonight. I’m taking the lousy phone off the hook –’
And again the line went dead and she stood
there, staring at the buzzing thing, and again the tidal wave of fear rose and washed over her with a great breathtaking roar.
‘Oh, God,’ she whispered and slowly put the phone down as Daphne came out of the bathroom carrying a wet cloth in one hand and a bowl of water in the other.
‘Now, Mummy,’ she said soothingly. ‘Let’s make you comfortable. Come and lie down and I’ll bathe your head and I’ve got some aspirin here, and we’ll get them to send up some ice for a cap and you’ll feel much better in the morning.’
She stared at the girl, at her good-natured silly face and her worried expression and she wanted to hit it, to throw her and her concern and her ice and her bowl of water clean across the room. But it wasn’t the girl’s fault and even in her fevered state of terror, she knew that, and managed to control her own need for violence.
‘Thanks, Daphne,’ she said, and moved across to the sofa to pick up her bag which she had left there. ‘It’s not as easy as that. I have to go to fetch the boys. Stay here. I’ll be back. I swear I’ll bring them back …’ and she looked at her and knew her face was twisted with anxiety. ‘I will, won’t I?’
‘But they’re coming back on Sunday, anyway,’ Daphne said, bewildered, standing there with her bowl and her towel like a picture from a nursing manual. ‘You aren’t going to fetch them back now in the middle of the night, are you?’
‘I have to,’ Maddie said. ‘I have to. If I don’t …’ She swallowed.
‘What if you don’t?’ Daphne was frankly avid with curiosity now and her eyes were almost popping with it. ‘What’s upset you so much, Mummy? Is he leaving you or –’
‘It’s nothing to do with him!’ Maddie cried. ‘It’s not the – it’s just that it isn’t safe for them there. I’ve got to get them out. The boys and Jay – it isn’t safe – I’ve got to go. What’s the time? I’ve got to go. If I can get there by midnight, it’ll still be today and I may be in time. Oh, please – I’ve got to go –’
Maddie Page 38