by Grey, R. S.
Then Tanner rushes over like the happy camper he is, gifting each of us a big smile and a hug. He immediately takes the beach bag Isla toted from the cabin then throws a conspiratorial wink my way.
“Glad you didn’t let Mr. Grump keep you from coming today.”
I don’t trust my voice so I offer a tight nod and trail behind the rest of them as we make our way to the group.
It really is a fun setup. They’ve thought of everything we’ll need: coolers filled with drinks, bags of snacks, a portable speaker currently playing Twenty-One Pilots. And though I know they had no control over it, it looks like it’s going to be a beautiful day, unseasonably warm, which will make it perfect for long stretches of sunbathing followed by dips in the lake to cool off.
Isla and Camille peel off to say hi to the guys and I wander over to the chairs, dropping my things on the ground behind one of them. I’m more glad than ever that I thought to bring a paperback. Chances are I’ll be spending most of the day reading and steering clear of Ethan.
I kick off my sandals and then nearly jump out of my skin as a red Solo cup hits my arm.
“Sorry.” Tanner laughs. “Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
I smile and shake my head. “You’re fine. I was just in my own world.”
Tanner’s honey-brown hair is playfully disheveled this morning, and while he’s not as toned as Ethan, he’s not exactly scrawny either. His blue swim trunks have a wild pattern on them and there’s a tattoo stretched across the left side of his chest, an intricate abstract design. I immediately wonder if he drew it himself.
“Here, take the cup then laugh wildly as if I’ve said something really funny.”
I frown. “What?”
He forces the cup into my grasp and chuckles loud enough for everyone to hear. Then he leans closer. “You’re not very good at this.”
“At what?” I frown, looking down at the drink.
“It’s a mimosa. I figured you could use some alcohol.”
He’s not wrong. I take a long sip and then level him with a glare.
He’s nothing but smiles as he turns me slightly so my back is to the group. Now they only see him, and he looks as if he’s having the time of his life over here talking to me.
“The way I see it, we can be mutually beneficial to each other.”
“How?” I ask, still skeptical.
“You’re new to the group and clearly feel like you don’t belong, right? Especially because of Ethan?”
“Oh, I—”
“And it’s probably obvious that I’m in love with Isla.” My eyes widen as he continues. “Ah, you didn’t know? Yeah, well, to make a long story short, when I first started working at the agency with her, I had a girlfriend. Isla and I became good friends—only friends—but one day she worked up the courage to tell me she had feelings for me, feelings that went beyond friendship. But, you see, I was still with Britt and we’d been together a long time. I couldn’t just end things on a whim like that. I owed it to her to really put in an effort. We stayed together for a few more months—the worst months of my entire life, I’ll have you know. By the time I finally realized what a fool I was being and broke it off with Britt for good, Isla wanted nothing to do with me beyond our friendship. I’d hurt her, you know? She really put herself out there telling me how she felt.”
“It was a brave thing to do.”
He nods, agreeing. “I also think Isla feels like she doesn’t want me to rush from one relationship to another. She wants me to really have my head on straight if we’re ever going to date.”
“So how long has it been since you ended things with Britt?”
“Two years.”
“TWO YEARS?!”
He laughs again, and I can feel everyone’s attention on us.
“So now you see why I’m desperate. I’ve given her time. Jesus, I’ve declared my love for her dozens of times. A man only has so much patience, so I think it’s time for a different tactic.”
My brows furrow. “What kind of tactic?”
“Isla knows how I feel about her, and I think she’s comfortable with the way things are because I’ve made it too easy for her. So, I’m asking for your help today.” His smile unfurls into a sinister smirk. “I want to make her jealous.”
Admittedly, I don’t feel completely comfortable with this arrangement, especially considering how nice Isla has been to me. I feel like an adult conversation where we all sit down around the campfire and discuss our feelings would be the mature thing to do, and yet it’s totally out of the question once Tanner fills me in on all the details from the last couple of years while I finish my drink.
They’ve had stolen kisses, heated arguments. He’s done the grand gestures and subtle sweet clues.
I feel bad for the guy, especially when he shrugs and looks out at the lake. “I guess a part of me realizes I’m coming to the end of the line. If we aren’t meant to be, we aren’t meant to be. I just want to make sure I’ve done every possible thing I can do to get her attention and force her to make a decision, even if it’s childish.”
My heart shatters for him in that moment, so I stand, retrieve a bottle of sunscreen from a chair beside ours, and slap it into his palm.
“Fine. I’ll play along, but only because I think you and Isla would be really cute together. Also, I can’t exactly put sunscreen on my own back, so if anything, I’m just killing two birds with one stone.”
I’ve left off the other crucial detail about why I’ve agreed to go through with this: I don’t want to spend the day moping by myself. These are Ethan’s friends, which means they’re going to follow Ethan’s lead. I really don’t want to sit around alone while they all have fun. This way, Tanner acts as a buffer, one I’m happy to use.
I know if I think too hard, I’ll find a million reasons to keep my clothes on, walk right back to the cabin, and hide out there all day. So, before common sense can set in, I stand and tug off my t-shirt, leaving the denim cutoffs on for now.
Then I sit in a chair in front of Tanner, gather my hair in my hand, and tip my head down so he can start lathering me up. The cool lotion makes me shiver and I close my eyes, finding myself wishing his hands were someone else’s.
“By the way, what’s the deal with you and Ethan?” he asks, as if reading my thoughts.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you a thing?”
“No. Not at all. What makes you ask?”
“Oh, just because he’s currently looking over here like he wants to rip my head from my body. I would stop immediately because the dude could probably accomplish the task, but Isla’s standing right by him, glaring too.”
“Well then, don’t stop now. Actually, while you’re back there, would you mind rubbing my neck, right here?” I ask, pointing to the spot that’s tight from sleeping on the floor. He immediately obliges, pressing down hard and soothing the ache there. I practically swoon with relief. I don’t even have to fake this for Isla’s sake. I really needed someone to work the tension out of my neck and back.
“Tanner!” Isla shouts suddenly, coming over. “Hey, Ethan said he needed some help with breakfast.”
“It looks like he’s got it—”
“He doesn’t. Here, I’ll finish up Taylor’s sunscreen since I’ll need her to return the favor anyway.”
I want to thrust my fist triumphantly into the air for Tanner’s sake, but I keep myself perfectly composed as I glance over my shoulder and aim a sweet smile his way. “Thanks for helping.”
Then he’s gone and Isla takes his spot behind me, rubbing sunscreen onto my skin with short, angry swipes. In fact, it kind of hurts.
“You okay?” I ask, unable to hide the amusement in my tone.
“Peachy!” she says, her voice shrill. She tosses the bottle aside. “All done.”
I glance over my shoulder and laugh. “Isla, it’s not even rubbed in.”
“What do you expect? I’m not a professional sunscreen applier!”
&
nbsp; * * *
Through the second half of the morning, the tension around the lake is so thick I can barely breathe. Everyone’s aware of it. I aim furtive glances at Ethan every five minutes, Camille follows him everywhere he goes, Tanner hovers near me, Isla grumbles near the drinks, and Ethan pays no mind to anyone at all. In fact, I’d be hard-pressed to get his attention even if I suddenly went up in flames while bouncing on a pogo stick and playing the harmonica. Brody, Liv, Jace, and Alice seem to be enjoying it all from a distance while they sip their drinks, which I actually can’t blame them for. I’d be doing the same thing if I were them.
“Come hang out with me,” Tanner says, nodding his head toward the lake’s edge. It’s flat enough to spread two towels out beside one another, and the ground isn’t so pebbly that it’s uncomfortable.
I grab my book and lie down on my stomach, prepared to read, but that goes out the window once Tanner starts rambling on about Isla. To an outsider, it looks like we’re sharing an intimate moment, sunbathing together barely a foot apart. In reality, I’m trying to concentrate on my book and Tanner is yammering nonstop. I read the same paragraph four times and am actually relieved when a shadow eclipses my page. I glance up to find Ethan standing there, a veritable giant from this perspective. My gaze drags up his toned legs and abs, hitching on the subtle details: the veins on his forearms, the groove of his Adonis V just above his black swim trunks, the dark scowl he’s aiming at Tanner.
Only in the confines of my mind do I actually admit that he’s something to behold. So toned and yet not someone who lives for the gym, he’s someone who clearly uses his body for physical labor. It’s enough to make my mouth water, enough to make me lose track of my objective concerning him. Do I hate him for his arrogance or want him more because of it? Are we on track to kill each other or are we working toward an entirely different conclusion? One that promises slightly more pleasurable results?
This is the closest we’ve been all morning, and I’m acutely aware that I’m lying here in nothing but denim shorts and a bathing suit. It’s more skin than he’s ever seen—outside of the bath incident—but he’s not technically seeing anything, because his gaze isn’t on me at all. To him, I’m a ghost.
“Tanner, we’re playing volleyball. You in?” he asks. “Isla needs a partner.”
Tanner, having heard her name spoken in relation to himself, jumps to his feet like a well-trained puppy, and I’m left there on the towel, forgotten. I push up to sit, tucking my legs underneath me. Not surprisingly, my invitation to join never comes. Even more interesting, Ethan stays right where he is, hands propped up on his hips.
I know someone more diplomatic would offer a smile or maybe even an appreciative remark for allowing me to crash his weekend with his friends. I’d shrivel up and die before doing either.
“I know you’re probably itching to invite me to play as well,” I say with a teasing smirk, “but I’m happy right here.”
I hold up my book. It’s one of his, of course.
He narrows his eyes, seemingly on the precipice of saying something before he shakes his head and turns away.
I smile and go right back to reading—at least that’s what I appear to do. In reality, I watch that volleyball game with the careful attention of someone who’s going to have to write a dissertation about it afterward. I have every serve and point memorized. Ethan plays with all the finesse of an Olympic athlete, and Camille is pretty good too. Worse, she’s taken off her sarong and is hopping around the makeshift court in a bikini. Any man would be drooling at the sight of her.
Tanner and Isla are laughably terrible. Tanner isn’t the most athletic and Isla apparently isn’t either because between the two of them, they’ve only scored one point, and that one was swiftly ruled out of bounds by Brody, who’s serving as the volunteer referee.
Ethan serves and scores another point, sending Camille rushing over for another round of high fives, and my breakfast sours in my stomach. There can only be one explanation: they fed us expired bacon.
Then it occurs me that there could be another reason for the pit in my stomach, a seven-letter word I’d rather not name. I’ve never seen Ethan around other women. For the last few weeks, we’ve been living on a site where the male-to-female ratio is hilariously uneven. I’ve had it easy, and I never even realized.
Startled by the disturbing revelation, I turn back to my book and start reading with gusto.
In twenty minutes, I manage one page.
I can hear Camille’s laughter and flirty comments, Ethan’s taunting barbs to Isla and Tanner. The sun hovers high overhead, and I grow uncomfortably warm.
When the game ends, I glance up as Ethan walks over to grab some water from a nearby cooler. A bead of sweat rolls down his abs and I follow its descent with unwavering concentration.
I’m practically salivating.
Then my gaze shifts higher and, with a start, I realize he’s caught me watching him.
My cheeks flush with heat just as Tanner walks over, yanking his shirt off and throwing it on the towel beside me.
“C’mon, let’s swim.”
He doesn’t have to ask me twice.
I’ve been sunbathing all morning and my skin is hot and covered in a sheen of sweat. I strip off my shorts and toss them on top of my stuff, and together, we wade in slowly. The cold water shocks my system, but I don’t give it the chance to overpower me. I dive in and start swimming toward the center of the lake with Tanner hot on my heels. We laugh as we race, stopping only because we’re out of breath.
We tread water and he grins. “My plan is working.”
“Oh yeah?”
“I’ve never seen Isla so grouchy.”
I laugh. “You’re playing with fire, you know. There’s an equal chance she’ll hate you for this.”
“Maybe,” he says with a cocky grin before he swims closer and our legs brush underwater. His hand touches my chin and he lifts it gently. My breath catches. He’s going to kiss me! My body tries to get me to flee. I don’t want Tanner to kiss me and yet I’d feel so bad if I ruined his plan. I squash my panic and brace myself, but then he grins, glances over my shoulder, and backs away quickly.
“She turned away.”
“What?”
His smile spreads from ear to ear. “She turned away. She didn’t want to see us kiss. C’mon, let’s go dry off.”
I feel exhausted by the time we make it back to shore.
I can’t keep up with all the games. Even without them, my head is a swirling mess of restrained desire and confusing feelings. I don’t want Ethan. And yet I do. I should flirt with Tanner, but I’d rather not. Camille shouldn’t inspire jealousy, and yet when I look at her it feels like fire blazing through my veins.
The afternoon drags on and I go through the motions, swimming and sunbathing and sitting with the group while they all laugh and talk and I sit perfectly quiet. Tanner dotes on me with drinks and snacks, but the food goes untouched and the drinks get downed too quickly.
The day takes on a dreamlike state. My skin is so warm and flushed, especially around Ethan. We don’t say a word to each other, and yet I know where he is at all times. I’m aware of his every movement. We brush shoulders accidentally on the shore of the lake. His hand catches my waist when we’re at the drink table and we step back to walk away at the same time. His eyes catch mine when Tanner is leaning close, whispering something in my ear. I force a smile, but it’s tight across my cheeks as Ethan’s gaze smolders.
“You want another drink?” Tanner asks.
I shake my head tightly and then bolt right back to the safety of my chair.
I want Ethan to talk to me. I want his eyes to meet mine so I can see if he’s feeling what I’m feeling. Maybe I’ve had one too many drinks or maybe I should take another dip in the water. Or maybe the ache I feel can’t be washed away with a quick swim.
After they fire up the grill to start dinner, Jace and Brody start a small campfire in the center of our circle. A
s the sun starts to set, everyone carries their drinks over, and I’m so desperate for Ethan to claim the seat beside mine. My body is practically humming with nervous energy at the idea that he might, but he sits directly across from me instead. Camille is quick to snatch the chair next to him. They’ve been thick as thieves all day, and I overheard Liv betting Brody they’d make things official before the weekend was up.
“I’ve never seen him act like this around anyone,” Liv whispered, not realizing I could hear her.
Now, I wonder if she was right, if Ethan will soon be off the market.
It’s no surprise my stomach protests every sip of my drink.
“You okay?” Tanner asks from the chair on my left—the one he dragged from camp so we’d each have one.
I smile. “Yeah, just tired.”
He frowns, not quite buying it. Then he slings his arm across the back of my chair and I feel everyone’s eyes on us, Isla’s most of all. I hate that Tanner dragged me into this game of his and suddenly, I’m done playing. I set down my drink and shoot to my feet. Everyone looks up, waiting for me to say something, and I nod toward the lake’s edge.
“Going to cool off.”
Tanner doesn’t follow me, which is for the best. I’ve been pretending all day and it feels nice to just stand here, looking out at the dark water and wondering where the hell I go from here.
“You know, it’s interesting seeing it firsthand,” a deep voice says behind me.
I’m so shocked by the sound of it that it takes me a moment to realize I’m supposed to respond.
“Seeing what?”
“The way men fall at your feet,” Ethan replies, stepping up until his shoulder brushes mine. I go perfectly still, scared he’ll move and cut off the contact.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I know you have no interest in Tanner, so what’s your goal?”
His tone isn’t as steely as usual. In fact, it nearly sounds drugged with desire.
I keep my gaze trained on the water while his eyes drag down my profile.