by Bella Jewel
He stands from the chair and moves closer, stopping in front of me and looking down. “We might have our problems, Skye, but you haven’t called me in about a week, and I knew there was a good reason you picked up that phone and decided to call . . .”
I nod and stare at his boots, because I can’t look into his eyes. I just can’t. “I’m sorry you had to come to my rescue. I know we’re not supposed to see each other but . . . it was automatic, you know? I called you without a second thought.”
“Look at me, Skye.”
I lift my eyes up to his. Seeing the intensity in their yellow depths just makes my heart hurt even more.
“I’ll always be there for you if you’re in trouble, regardless of anything else. By blood, you’re part of the club I’m going to be running—that’s my job. Don’t be sorry for asking me to do it.”
His job.
It’s his job.
God dammit, that hurts.
“Well, I’m okay now so you can leave,” I say, and I can hear the bitterness in my own voice.
“Skye . . .”
I stand, wobbling. He reaches out and takes hold of my upper arms, steadying me.
“Let me go, Danny, please,” I whisper, looking at his chest, avoiding those penetrating eyes.
“We both agreed that this is how it has to be. I’ll be there for you as future president, but I can’t be there for you as a friend. That was a choice you helped make. I’m done fighting with you. If we can’t live with the choices—”
“You’re right, I get it. You can let me go now.”
My heart pounds and my entire body hurts, but mostly my soul aches for the man holding onto me because I love him so God damned much that I’m starting to forget my reasons for not being with him.
“Skye,” he warns.
I shove out of his arms. “I miss you, Danny. I fucking miss you so badly it hurts—I hate that. I know the choices I made, but it doesn’t change that it’s killing me to be away from you. The very fact that no matter what I do I can’t be with you is enough to send me over the edge. I love you with every ounce of myself and letting you go isn’t easy, even if it is by choice. Don’t you get that?”
“I get it,” he says, his jaw tight. “But I didn’t let you go by choice, Skye, so imagine how it fuckin’ feels for me if it’s hurtin’ you, considering you’re the one who made the decision.”
Here we go again. “I’m not arguing with you about this. I’m done arguing. We can go back and forth, and in the end nothing changes. I know I made a choice to leave you and the life you wanted, and I’m living with that. I never said it was going to be easy.”
He glances away.
“You should go,” I say, staring at my feet. “We’ll only end up fighting. Thank you for what you did for me last night. I really appreciate it.”
He looks to me again, and I can see the raw pain behind his eyes. It hurts. It fucking hurts.
“Why can’t you see what’s right in front of you?” he says, his voice a low rumble.
“God Danny, if this was just about you it wouldn’t be so hard, but it’s not. I’ve lived in that club my whole life, and I know you don’t understand it because it’s the only place you’ve ever wanted to be but for me it isn’t. I want to do so many things and the thought of being an old lady . . . I can’t . . . I just can’t.”
He walks over to me and curls his hand around the back of my neck, bringing me close enough so he can press his lips to my forehead. He holds them there for a long time and I let him, just breathing him in.
“It isn’t the only place I’ve ever wanted to be, Skye. If you opened your God damned pretty eyes, you’d fuckin’ see that.”
With that, he turns and walks out the door, shutting it behind him.
I drop back onto my bed and let the tears flow.
What the hell am I doing?
~*~*~*~
“I’m so sorry, Skye. I never meant to offend you with my words; I just didn’t want you to be bombarded by my mother. She can be full on, and I didn’t think you deserved that. I told her who you are; I didn’t hold back. I’m not ashamed of you. What do I have to do to prove that?”
I stare at Preston who is standing in front of me a week later, his hands together, looking desperate. He’s been trying to call me since the night I left the mansion, but I’ve ignored him. I needed to get my head together, to make choices. After Danny’s visit, I was thrown and couldn’t seem to tell left from right. I know now what I have to do, so I finally took Preston’s call and he came over.
“I know you didn’t mean it,” I say, smiling reassuringly. “I’m just sensitive right now.”
“I don’t want to stop seeing you, Skye. I like you. I think we can do well together.”
“I doubt your parents see it that way, and there are a few things I want to talk with you about before we go on . . .”
He nods and studies my face. “Is everything okay?”
“I was seeing a member of the club for a while before I moved here. He means a lot to me, but it’ll never work and we both know it. I just want you to know, and I understand if you feel like you can’t handle that.”
“You have feelings for him still,” he says, but it isn’t a question.
“It’s something I can’t quite explain, but yes, I think I always will, but I have to move on—I want to move on. We want different things and those things will never find a way to match up.”
“You want to keep seeing me?”
I nod. “I do want to keep seeing you. I just wanted to be honest with you.”
“I understand what you’re saying. So long as we’re never unfaithful to one another then I don’t have a problem with you taking the time to move on.”
I smile with relief.
It was the hardest choice of my life to decide to let Danny go. No matter how many times we talked about it, we just kept ending up running in circles. He has the right to take the path he wants with his life, but so do I. I can’t give up my dreams to be an old lady, and he can’t give up being president to follow me around the world. I know he’d wait for me if I asked him to, but I’d never do that. He deserves to be loved, to be happy, to have a loyal old lady by his side.
I can’t be that person.
Club life is all I know, but it isn’t all I want to be.
“So we’re okay?”
He nods, reaching out and pulling me into his arms. Preston is nice. He’s educated, and he wants the same things I do. He wants to travel and see the world. I don’t know if we’ll get serious enough to get to that point, but at least we’re on the same page. I want to see where it could go, but mostly, I need to find a way to move on from Danny.
“I know my family might seem scary to you, but if this gets serious, you do know you’ll need to meet them?”
He looks down at me. “I’m not as soft as I seem. I’d love to meet your family.”
I beam. “Thank you. That means a lot.”
“Now, where shall I take you next? We didn’t finish our last date on a good note.”
I laugh softly and he tightens his arms around me.
It’ll be okay.
It will.
CHAPTER SEVEN
TWO WEEKS LATER
“Are you sure about this?” I ask Preston, fidgeting nervously in the passenger seat of his car as we cruise down the highway.
“We’ve been dating a month, Skye. I think it’s time I met your family; it’s the right thing to do.”
“I know, but they’re bikers and—”
“It’ll be fine,” he assures me, reaching over and squeezing my hand. “I don’t have a problem with it.”
“They can be full on, and in your face, and crazy . . .”
He chuckles. “I’m not weak; I’ll be fine. They can do what they need to do to see I’m good for you.”
I nod and stare out the window, my heart racing. It’s my dad’s birthday this weekend, and so Preston and I decided it was time to go home and meet them. I told my family I was b
ringing my boyfriend, and Dad dropped a few subtle threats about how he’s going to check him out and if he’s not good enough, he’ll send him packing.
Oh God.
Mom assured me she won’t let dad be an asshole, but that’s never stopped him before. Not to mention Danny is around, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since he left last. I don’t know how he’ll react and worse, I don’t want him to be hurt over the fact that I’m bringing Preston home. That won’t make me feel good, and I’ve been working so hard on feeling good.
Things with Preston are nice. He does all the wonderful things. He takes me on dates, to the movies, buys me flowers and chocolates, and basically sweeps me off my feet. He’s kind and loving, and sometimes a bit prissy, but so far it hasn’t been too much of a problem. I put it down to me just being rougher around the edges and noticing it more.
He’s travelling to Paris next month and he wants me to come. Paris. It would take me years to save to go to Paris and that only makes me feel guilty, like somehow in the back of my mind I’m staying with Preston because he can give me those things. I’m not that kind of person, but I said yes way too quickly when he asked me to accompany him on his business trip. I barely know who I am these days, having lost myself somewhere along the line.
I’m trying really hard to figure that all out.
“Ready?”
I flinch and glance out the window at the compound. I haven’t been home since I left, and my heart aches with happiness to see it. Bikes are lined up just inside the fence and I know everyone is here. Of course they are—no one would miss the chance to check out the man I brought home. I turn and glance at Preston, who studies the place, looking extremely nervous.
I take in his clothes. Yep, they’re going to have a field day with him.
He’s dressed in what he likes to call casual, but in our world, it’s upper-class clothing. He’s wearing black suit pants and a grey V-neck sweater. If it was jeans he was wearing, things wouldn’t be so bad. I don’t want him to change for my family, though. This is the man I’m dating, and hopefully they’ll like him as much as I do.
Yeah, right. Who am I kidding?
They’ll eat him alive.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” I ask again, praying he’ll say, “No way, let’s turn around.”
“Of course,” he says, shoving the door open and getting out of the car.
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.
I get out of the car after him and straighten my top, then run my hands over my jeans before catching up to him. I lead him through the front gates and up towards the old brick clubhouse. My heart is in my throat the entire time, and my stomach knots with nerves. Preston takes my hand and squeezes. “It’ll be okay.”
He doesn’t know my family.
We walk up the front steps and the front door swings open before we even get close to reaching it ourselves. Max lunges out and hauls me up into his arms, swinging me in a full circle. “You’re here!”
I can’t help it; I burst out laughing and wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him tight. “Max, it’s so good to see you!”
He puts me down and places his hands either side of my face, planting a kiss on my forehead. “I’m so glad to see you, Skye.”
“Me too. Max, this is my boyfriend, Preston.”
Max looks over to Preston, gives him a onceover, and then grins. Max is the nicest thing Preston will meet in this clubhouse.
“How’s it goin’?” Max asks, extending his hand.
“It’s great. Nice to meet you.”
They shake and study each other, then the moment is interrupted when Ava comes bounding out the door. She slams into me, and we tumble backwards a few steps before catching our footing. “My little squishy niece is home!” she cries.
“Ava,” I scoff, hugging her tight. “Call me that again and I’ll beat you.”
She pulls back and grins. “So good to see you, chicky. You look awesome.”
Her eyes flick to Preston and she grins. “And you! Aren’t you handsome?”
“Ava!” I hiss.
Preston laughs and extends his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too. I’m Ava. Her aunty.”
Preston’s brows go up.
Ava laughs at the look on his face. “Long story. Come in.”
I take a deep, steadying breath and take Preston’s hand, stepping inside. We move into the main living area where every single biker in the club waits. I want to groan out loud when all their eyes flick to Preston, and his hand goes a little limp in mine. I’d be scared too.
“Ah,” I squeak. “Hey everyone.”
Dad is the first person to step forward, his eyes on Preston. I make a poor attempt at distraction by throwing myself into his arms. “Daddy.”
“Hey beautiful,” he says, hugging me tightly but keeping his eyes on my poor, terrified-looking boyfriend.
“My baby!”
I spin to my mom and smile huge as she throws her arms around me. I spend the next five minutes hugging everyone before stepping back next to Preston. It’s then I notice Danny isn’t here, and I try to ignore the way my heart drops.
“Everyone, this is my boyfriend, Preston. Preston, ah, this is everyone.”
Preston lifts a hand. “Hey,” he says, his voice sounding very nervous.
“Most importantly,” I continue, “this is my mom and dad, Addison and Cade.”
Preston steps forward and reaches for my dad’s hand. Dad, who is still glaring at him, reaches out and takes it, clearly squeezing too hard because Preston’s face goes red. Oh God.
“Cade,” Mom snaps, shoving him out of the way. “Hello Preston. Don’t mind my husband; he’s got protection issues. It’s nice to meet you.”
Preston looks to my mom and smiles. “It’s nice to meet you too, Addison.”
“Call me Addi.”
A door in the hall slams shut and a few seconds later Danny emerges, followed by one of the club whores Kendra. My heart launches into my throat and my stomach drops. He’s buttoning up his jeans, and it doesn’t take a genius to realize what he was just doing. Of course he was. He has no reason not to. It hurts though, more than I could have ever imagined. His eyes find mine and widen slightly, then flicker to Preston’s and grow hard.
“Ah, Danny,” Mom says. “Skye brought her new boyfriend, Preston, home.”
Danny finishes what he’s doing with his jeans and walks over, stopping in front of Preston. He looks so much bigger than him, and I want to cringe as he extends his hand. “Good to meet you, Pres.”
“Preston,” Preston corrects, and I want to curl up and die. “I don’t do nicknames, and it’s good to meet you too. Danny, was it?”
Danny grunts and drops Preston’s hand. “I knew a dog called Preston once. Fuckin’ bastard little thing he was.”
Oh he didn’t.
Preston straightens. “Well, I knew a dog named Danny once. I guess it really is a small world.”
Danny smirks at him, scarily. “Nice slacks. You make those yourself?”
Preston bristles but says nothing.
Danny continues, “Did Skye tell you she hates prissy men? No, she probably didn’t. She’s putting on a nice little show for you.”
“Danny!” Ava hisses. “Stop.”
He looks to her, then to me and grins. Grins!
“Hey babe.” He winks.
Oh. He. Did. Not.
I say nothing; I just glare at him.
“Anyway,” Mom says, looking between Danny and I, then taking Preston’s hand, “let’s show Preston around, shall we?”
I say nothing, just follow them and listen as she chews his ear off about the club and me. He talks freely with her, which is nice. My mom is super easy to love. We reach the front door, and I look back into the lounge to see Danny sitting at the bar, staring at me. I turn away, giving him nothing.
“I think I’ll show Preston around next time. We should get to the hotel,” I say to Mom. “But I might come by late
r and say hello before the cookout tomorrow.”
“That would be great; I haven’t seen you.”
I smile, but it’s pathetic. “Awesome, see you then.”
She hugs me tight and turns, whispering, “Don’t let them get to you, honey. They’re just being protective.”
I nod and pull back. “Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I take Preston’s hand and we leave.
And part of me just doesn’t want to come back.
~*~*~*~
“I take it Danny is the man you used to see,” Preston says when we’re checked into the hotel.
We barely said a word in the car. Well, he tried to talk, but I just shut down, horrified by the way Danny had treated him.
“How’d you guess?” I mutter, shoving my suitcase onto the bed.
“It didn’t take a genius.”
I look to him. “I’m so sorry, Preston. I wish I could say I expected them to be better behaved, but I didn’t. Those things he said—they weren’t true. He was just trying to stir the pot.”
He shrugs. “It was a lot better than I expected it to be. They weren’t so bad. They’re protective; it’s okay to be that way.”
“It was pretty darn brave of you to walk in there and face them like that.”
He wraps an arm around my waist. “I would do it again for you.”
His lips find mine and I let him kiss me. I need a distraction. I need to remove the image of Danny coming out of that room buttoning up his jeans. I need to ease the irrational hurt in my heart. So I let Preston in. I let him remove my clothes. I let him lie us down on the bed. I let him kiss me everywhere. I let him make love to me, slow, sweet, and gentle.
I allow him to let me believe that for even one, little second I am actually capable of getting over Danny and that what we’re doing feels right.
When deep down, making love to anyone but Danny feels so damned wrong.
~*~*~*~
“Where’s Danny?” I ask Ava later that evening.
Preston let me return to the clubhouse alone to catch up with my family. He had work to do and was more than happy to give me some time with them. Really, I wanted to come back and tell Danny that what he did was unacceptable. I’m so damned angry with him. I know how it would have felt to see Preston and I together, but to be an asshole and act like that—it’s not fair.