by Karen Lynch
He’d dropped into the diner for lunch twice this week, and both times, Brenda had seated him in my section. I suspected she was trying to do a little matchmaking, and I didn’t bother to tell her it was a wasted effort. I could see why she liked him, though. He was funny, outgoing, and gorgeous, without a hint of arrogance. A lethal combination.
I felt the sting of regret and sighed. There was no sense going there. He was what he was, and that would never change. It didn’t matter that I liked him despite him being a werewolf. If he ever discovered the truth about me, he’d look at me with disgust and contempt. He certainly wouldn’t be bringing me coffee again.
I reached for my cell phone on the night table and scrolled through my short contact list. Jordan’s name was at the top, and I thought about calling her before I realized how early it was in Los Angeles. She’d told me to call her anytime, but it would be selfish to wake her, considering the late nights she put in for her job. Instead, I texted her, knowing it would be a few hours before she replied.
Hey, how’s it going? Kill any demons lately?
I laid the phone down, and I was startled when it vibrated less than a minute later.
Hey. U ok?
I texted back. Bad dreams. The usual. Why are you up?
Stakeout, she replied. I’d call, but I have to keep quiet.
Understand, I said.
Must have been a bad one. Hate that UR alone.
I smiled sadly. Just nice to know you’re there.
U sure UR ok?
Yes, I wrote back. Just feeling a little needy. Sorry.
Never be sorry for needing a friend, she said. I’ll call U later. Ok?
Sounds good.
I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling until the silence of the apartment pressed down on me. Rolling out of bed, I put the journal away and went to shower. It was too early to go anywhere, but I couldn’t lie there wallowing in misery a moment longer.
Roland
I padded through the trees, moving quickly over the uneven ground. Ahead of me, a fox darted across my path, and above me, the birds were silent in the branches. A large predator was in their midst, and they would hide until I moved on.
The faint tang of the ocean tickled my nose, and I veered off in a new direction, away from the cliffs. I didn’t particularly like being in this area after what had happened to Sara here last year, but I wanted to be as far as possible from the Knolls after my mother told me a dozen more wolves had arrived yesterday, half of them unmated. The Knolls were getting far too crowded and it was only going to get worse.
It wasn’t that I had anything against the visiting females. I was sure they were nice people, and some of them were probably in no hurry to mate either. But like Pete, most wolves were resigned to their fate. Mating ensured the survival of our species since only mated pairs could have children. I understood that and I wanted to have a kid someday, but not at eighteen.
My chest rumbled when I sighed heavily. Was it too much to ask to finish college and have a little freedom before I settled down? Or even to get to know a girl and feel something more than mild attraction before my wolf bound me to her for life?
Emma’s face swam before my mind, and I found myself, once again, thinking about my visit with her last Saturday. What was it about her that made me unable to get her out of my head? She was pretty, sure, but I’d known a lot of pretty girls. None of them had occupied my thoughts so much that I’d sought them out just to talk to them for a few minutes. Twice this week, I’d gone to Gail’s for lunch, telling myself it had nothing to do with Emma working there. Absolutely nothing to do with her cute smile when she took my order or the mesmerizing sway of her hips as she walked away.
I remembered the times during our conversation at the apartment when her eyes had turned sad and she’d withdrawn from me. I wished I could help her with whatever troubled her, but she obviously didn’t want to talk about her past, and I wouldn’t push her. I had a feeling it would send her running away, and that did not make me happy.
My new route took me near the old silver mine. It had been abandoned a long time ago, and it was boarded up now because it wasn’t safe inside. Not that many people came down here anymore, which was exactly why it was the perfect place to get away from everyone.
The sound of movement up ahead followed by a series of clicking noises, alerted me that I was not alone here as I’d believed. I slowed and crept silently to the edge of the clearing at the front of the mine, curious about who or what was making that strange noise.
I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn’t the girl I’d spent the morning thinking about. Emma was facing away from me, but I easily recognized her petite form. What on earth was she doing down here?
The answer came when she lifted her hands and I saw the camera she held. It looked expensive, and she seemed comfortable using it. She peered through the lens and took a few steps backward, snapping pictures of the mine’s entrance as she went. She stopped and moved to her left and then to her right, taking shots of the mine from different angles.
I remembered the photographs I’d seen in her studio and realized she was taking pictures so she could paint the mine later at home. To me, it was just a black hole in the rock with cobwebs and rotting boards nailed to it, but it must look like more to her artist eye. Sara was the same way, always seeing the beauty in ugly things.
Emma spun suddenly in my direction and peered into the woods. “Hello?” she called warily, taking a step back.
I cursed my carelessness. I’d been so distracted by her that I must have made a noise. After her bad experience with Lex and Julie, I didn’t blame her for being jumpy.
I stepped from the woods into the clearing, hoping she’d recognize my wolf and know she was in no danger. Sitting on my haunches, I watched her, waiting to see what she would do.
Her eyes widened before she let out a relieved breath. “Oh, it’s you. At least, I hope it’s you.”
I nodded once and was rewarded with a nervous smile.
Her fingers twisted the camera strap. “I-I wanted to thank you for what you did last Saturday. I know you were just doing your job, but thanks.”
My head tilted to one side as my wolf listened to her soft voice. Before Emma, he’d never been around a human in his true form, and he was fascinated by her. He adored Sara because we grew up with her, but something about Emma intrigued him. I think he sensed my preoccupation with her and he was trying to figure out what was so special about this particular human. He wasn’t the only one.
“Anyway…” She bit her lower lip. “Roland said I’m safe here, so I’m going to trust that you’re not here to hurt me.”
The scent of Emma’s fear reached me, and I realized I was still staring at her. I lowered myself to the ground and rested my head on my paws, hoping I’d look less threatening. She’d probably feel better if I left, but my wolf hadn’t satisfied his curiosity yet. To be honest, I wasn’t in any hurry to go either.
Her fear abated, and she turned back to the mine. After a few minutes, she was so engrossed in her work I might as well have not been there. I was content to lie there and watch her, but my wolf eventually got restless. He didn’t like being ignored, and he wanted the human to talk to him again.
Not much I can do about that, I told him.
Emma stopped taking pictures and walked to where Sara’s old blue bicycle leaned against a large rock. I thought she was leaving, and disappointment filled me, making my wolf chuff unhappily.
He quieted when she picked up her messenger bag and carried it to a flat rock in the middle of the clearing. Sitting on the rock, she stuffed her camera in the bag and pulled out a bottle of water and a Tupperware container. When she pulled off the lid, the smell of roasted chicken reached me. My mouth watered because I’d skipped out on breakfast in my hurry to get away before people woke up. I could go hunt a rabbit or squirrel to tide me over, but I was reluctant to leave Emma out here alone.
She
took a few bites of her sandwich, lost in thought. When she reached for her water bottle, her eyes moved to me as if remembering she was not alone. Her brows drew together slightly, and she sighed.
“If you’re going to hang around, you might as well eat with me.” She took half a sandwich from her container and held it out to me.
When I didn’t move, she waved it at me. “Listen, I feel weird eating with you there. I have more than enough to share.”
I walked over to her, and she had to tip her head back to look up at me when I stood beside her. This close, I could see shadows under her tired eyes that made me wonder if she was getting enough sleep.
“Wow, you really are huge,” she said with a mixture of awe and unease as she laid the food offering on the rock. “I hope you like chicken.”
I sniffed the sandwich and ate it in one bite. When I started to walk away, Emma set out another half sandwich for me. I looked at it, and she shrugged.
“I made two in case I stayed longer than I expected.”
I accepted the food. My wolf didn’t want to return to the edge of the clearing, so I lay down a few feet from Emma and waited to see how she’d react to my nearness. After all the stress of the pack gathering, it was nice being around a female who wasn’t looking at me as a potential mate. There was no pressure, no anxiety, and my wolf and I both enjoyed her company.
She ate quietly for a few minutes then looked over at me. “You’re probably wondering why I’m out here in the woods, taking pictures of this old mine. My cousin Sara used to live in town, and I’m painting some of her favorite places for her. Maybe you know her. Sara Grey.”
I lifted my head and nodded, earning a small smile from her. My tail wagged.
Emma stared at the woods. “So, that’s why I’m down here.”
The note of sadness in her voice told me there was more to it than that. My wolf heard it, too, and he wanted to crawl over and comfort her. I knew she was still nervous around me, though she did her best to hide it, and I wouldn’t do anything to make it worse.
She ate the rest of her lunch in silence then took out her camera and clicked through the pictures she’d taken. Looking satisfied with them, she put the camera back into her bag along with her other things, and stood.
“It was nice seeing you again.”
She looked like she was going to say something else but changed her mind. Walking over to the bike, she donned the helmet and pushed the bike out to the gravel road.
I waited until she was out of sight before I got up and followed her to the road where she climbed on the bike and pedaled leisurely along one of the ruts. I stayed behind her until she reached the main stretch into town. I couldn’t go any farther without the risk of being seen by someone.
My wolf wasn’t happy to watch her go, and I chided him as I headed deeper into the woods to resume my patrol. You only like her because she fed you. It wasn’t entirely true. He was curious about the human girl, even a little taken with her. If I was honest, I was a little taken, too.
I sighed noisily. It didn’t matter how much I liked Emma because nothing could come of it. Say she was interested in me and we had a few dates. Then what? Like with every other girl I’d dated, I’d have to end it before it got serious. I couldn’t have a relationship with a human and watch her get hurt when my wolf eventually imprinted on someone else. And it would happen; there was no getting around it. I couldn’t do that to other girls, and I definitely couldn’t hurt Emma that way. If she’d let me, we’d be friends, but that was as far as it could go between us.
Emma
I unlocked the back door and rolled the bike inside, almost forgetting to close the door behind me in my distraction. I hadn’t planned to go to the mine today, but after that particularly brutal nightmare, I’d needed to get out of here for a few hours. Sara had told me the mine was a special place for her and Remy, so I’d decided to paint it for her. Riding her bike, I could almost imagine what her life had been like before Eli and the Mohiri found her. By the time I’d reached the mine, I almost expected to see a troll waiting for me.
What I hadn’t expected was the werewolf. All the way home, the only thing I could think of was my time with him and the way he’d seemed to be watching over me. Roland had said the pack protected the people in their territory. Maybe this wolf felt responsible for me after what had happened at the cove.
Whatever his reasons for staying with me, I’d felt safe with him. The realization that I could be comfortable around a werewolf floored me, especially one that towered over me on four legs. He’d scared me when he’d stepped out of the woods, and I was nervous at first, even after I’d recognized him. But he’d turned out to be good company, and it had been surprisingly easy to forget what a powerful and deadly creature he was. I wondered if this was how Sara felt when she looked at her hellhounds. Everyone else saw them as monsters, but to her they were big dogs.
Did I really just compare a werewolf to a dog?
I shook my head and climbed the stairs to the apartment, a smile tugging at my mouth. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be flattered by the comparison. Better keep that thought to myself.
An hour later, I sat at my easel, brush in hand, staring at a blank canvas. Pinned to the top of the canvas were several pictures I’d taken of the old mine that morning, and the details were fresh in my mind. But for some reason, I couldn’t figure out where to start. I shifted on my stool, not sure what was causing my creative block. Normally, it was easy to lose myself in my painting, but today I felt restless for some reason.
I looked around the loft, and my gaze fell on the door to the attic, reminding me I had been planning to check out the roof. Not exactly an exciting venture, but it was better than sitting here doing anything else.
Laying down my brush, I walked over to open the small attic door. There was no light fixture inside, but plenty of light came from the loft. I tested the narrow stairs before I climbed them to the door that led to the roof. It was bolted, and I had to jiggle the lock a bit to get it to slide over. Then, I opened the door and stepped out into the sun.
I found myself near the ventilation system, facing the back of the building. Skirting the unit, my breath caught at the unobstructed view of the ocean. Colorful sailboats dotted the bay and two fishing boats, low in the water, headed to shore with their catches.
Someone, most likely Sara, had created a small terrace on the roof with loose patio tiles. Large planters marked the corners of the terrace, and it was furnished with a wicker couch and two wooden Adirondack chairs. There was even a small metal fire pit in the center. The warm sun beckoned me, and I had a feeling I was going to be spending a lot of time up here this summer.
I ran down to the main floor to grab my laptop and cell phone. Settling in one of the chairs, I started searching for art supply stores in Portland, making note of two I wanted to check out. After that, I entertained myself by researching cars and trying to decide what I liked. Roland was right. I’d need one eventually. I couldn’t rely on others to cart me wherever I needed to go. And it wasn’t like I couldn’t afford my own vehicle.
I’d been blown away when I finally logged into the bank account Tristan and Sara had set up for me and saw the balance. I knew the Mohiri were wealthy and generous, but I had not expected all those zeros in my account. I had more than enough to pay for a car, living expenses, college, and anything else I needed. I could quit my job at the diner if I wanted to, but it gave me a reason to get out of the apartment when I would have holed up here. Maybe when I started school in the fall, I’d give it up, but for now, I was keeping it.
An ad on the website I was browsing caught my eye, and I stared at the logo for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Swallowing dryly, I clicked the link before I could convince myself it was a bad idea. I’d been on this website before and knew exactly what I’d find when I searched for my name. But I did it anyway.
The picture was my school photo, taken a month before I disappeared. I reme
mbered that day as if it had been yesterday. My friend Chelsea had stood behind the photographer, making faces at me, and I’d done everything not to laugh. The result was a picture of me with my lips pressed together and my eyes sparkling with laughter.
If I looked in a mirror now, I’d see the same face, but my eyes were no longer the same. They were the right color and shape, but the innocent joy of the girl in the picture had been extinguished a long time ago.
A lump formed in my throat, and I closed the browser. Why did I keep doing this to myself? That life was gone. I could never go back, and dwelling on it would only stop me from moving forward and making a new life for myself.
I closed the laptop and gazed out over the water, taking stock of my blessings. I was alive and free and starting over. I already loved this place, despite the nightmares and loneliness that dogged me. I didn’t have to worry about money, and I was making friends. I could be happy here. The only thing standing in my way was me.
Movement in the corner of my eye startled me, and I looked up as a large black bird flew down to perch on the low roof ledge. The crow stared at me with an almost eerie intelligence. As I watched it, it hopped down from the ledge and walked over to a small plastic pet dish. It poked at the empty dish a few times then swung its black gaze to me as if expecting me to know what it was looking for.
I stared at it for a minute before I remembered Sara talking about a pet crow of hers. I wracked my brain for his name, but it wouldn’t come to me. This had to be him, though. She’d been worried something had happened to him because he hadn’t shown up the few times she was here. She was going to be ecstatic.
I picked up my phone and snapped a picture of the crow, which I immediately texted to Sara along with the message, I think a friend of yours dropped by for lunch.
A minute later, she replied. OMG!
Ten seconds after that, my phone rang, and I grinned when I saw it was a video call from Sara.
“Hi. Thought I might hear from you.”