by J. L. Wilder
“Alex said it was like chess,” I remember. “She was telling me about Dan overpowering Joe and becoming alpha of the Hell’s Bears, and she said it was like a game of chess. That all the pieces were in place for Dan’s takeover.”
Caleb nods slowly. “You could tell Dan had been planning for a while, looking for the right time to make his move,” he says. “He badly wanted to be alpha. I never understood why. Joe was a good alpha. Everyone was happy with him in charge. I can’t imagine that even Dan was very unhappy. We had everything we needed.”
“Some people just like power, I guess,” I say. I’m thinking of Dan, but I’m also thinking of Aiden and how much he relished being in charge of us back in Blind River.
“Some people are monsters,” Caleb says, his voice tight.
I’m quiet for a long moment, searching for the words to express the question I need to know the answer to. “Caleb, are you the alpha of the Hell’s Bears now?”
Something I don’t recognize twists his features. I’ve never seen this expression on his face before. “I never asked to be.”
“But you are, aren’t you? Miles had to obey your command back in the woods. And Alex told me she could feel the change. She said her allegiance was to you now, and the bonds that tied her to Dan were gone. You took control of the pack from him.”
“I think so.” His voice is barely a whisper. The moonlight catches his face for a moment and, looking up I see a bead of sweat rolling down his face. I’m about to tell him he can put me down, I can walk from here if he’s too tired, but I see another drop and realize my mistake. It’s a teardrop. He’s crying.
“Caleb,” I reach up and catch the tear on my thumb.
He shakes his head.
“It’s not a bad thing.”
“Have you ever known a good one, Jacie? An alpha who didn’t let his power ruin him and turn him into something evil? Someone who hurt himself and his pack?”
“You said Joe—”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Joe was the only good alpha I’ve ever even heard of, and he let himself get taken down by Dan. Now he’s just a bitter old man, a husk of what he used to be.”
“Caleb, that isn’t going to happen to you.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do know. I know you. I know you better than I’ve ever known anyone in my life. Maybe better than I know myself. All you’ve ever wanted to do is protect the people you love. That’s the best person I can think of to have in the role of alpha.”
“What if the others don’t want me?” he asks. “What if they resent the way I came to power? Will I have to force them to obey, the way Dan did? I don’t think I could do that, Jacie.”
“Of course, you won’t have to,” I tell him. “Why would you have to?”
“Because if there are members of the pack who don’t agree with the alpha’s rule and they’re left to their own devices, they can plot another takeover. We could end up with Miles in charge. He’d probably be even worse than Dan was.”
“No one could be worse than Dan was,” I say.
“Maybe you’re right.” He sighs. “I just don’t know. If you’d told me this morning that I would be alpha by tonight...I never planned for this. You know? I never expected it. I would have done anything to save you, but I thought we’d just run away together afterward.”
“We could still run away,” I say. “If that’s what you want.”
He stops and sets me on my feet. We’re right outside the house. “Do you think we should?”
I consider it. Going on the run sounds appealing, of course—just me and Caleb against the world. But without his income from the restaurant, neither of us would have any money. And there’s Alex to think of, and the other members of the pack who stood up for me tonight. We can’t leave them.
“I think you’re the alpha,” I say.
He understands. “I guess we’d better get in there and face the music, then.”
But there turns out not to be much music to be faced. The kitchen is empty when we get inside. “Where do you think everyone is?” I ask. I had sort of expected them to be waiting for us here, waiting to discuss the new order with Caleb.
He crosses to the refrigerator and takes out a couple of bottles of water. “Let’s worry about everyone else tomorrow, okay?”
“But don’t you think we should—”
His hand finds mine, and suddenly my body is flush against his. His skin is hot. His blood is up. I don’t know if it’s the fight or if it’s the relief of finding himself safe, but something has Caleb as turned on as he’s ever been in his life. “I want you, Jacie. No one else.”
“I’m yours,” I whisper. His eyes are like magnets, reeling me in.
It’s a miracle that we find our way to a bedroom. If I were less distracted, I would probably wonder about it—whose it was, whether we were supposed to be here. I’ve never been in this room before. But I don’t have room for questions. I only have room for Caleb.
He peels my clothes away quickly, tossing them across the room, unwrapping me eagerly like I’m a gift he’s been dying for. I can’t wait to be laid bare. I was afraid that Dan’s violence would have ruined this for me, that I would be too upset or even traumatized to enjoy myself the next time someone touched me. I’m so relieved to find out that isn’t true. Being with Caleb is just as comfortable, yet just as exciting, as it always has been. I lose myself in the pleasure of his body and mine, arching into him when he touches me, pulling him closer and closer until it no longer seems to matter whose skin is whose.
We finish together, his hands scrabbling desperately at my back, mine digging into his ass hard enough to leave marks, and I’ll enjoy looking for those marks later, I know, but as we fall apart, we’re too exhausted to think about anything else. Today has held more than enough. I roll into him, pressed right up against his side so that he can’t move a muscle without my knowing about it, and land in the cool, dark waters of sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The next few months pass in a blissful haze. The time before seems like a bad dream from which I’ve finally awakened. Was I ever part of that awful pack of polar bears up in Blind River? It doesn’t seem real now. Was Dan ever one of us? I rarely think about him at all. He took his leave a few days after the confrontation in the woods, after Caleb usurped his power.
It was an elegant solution, and I was proud of Caleb for coming up with it. He was utterly against the idea of forcing anyone to do anything against their will, and yet he worried for the sanctity of the pack if the alpha couldn’t stand strong. So, he gave a single order to everyone—choose. Choose to stay and follow his orders, which he would issue as benevolently as he possibly could, or choose to leave now in peace and not come back.
Dan left. Luce and Miles followed with him. The rest of us stayed.
And so, it’s been weeks of paradise. Nights curled up with Caleb, our hands finding each other’s bodies in the dark, sometimes waking each other from sleep with kisses and touches that spill over into intense midnight lovemaking sessions. I can’t believe the hunger I have for him. No amount of Caleb will ever, ever be enough.
And then, one day, a pair of strangers arrive at the door.
Being an omega has always meant that I need to stay away from people, that I’m not allowed to answer doors or go outside or expose myself to the world. But now, under Caleb, the rules are different. Caleb doesn’t issue orders that oppress us. He respects us. So, I don’t think twice about going to the door. After all, I’m closest when it rings. But now, looking up into the faces of these two strangers, I understand in an instant what a costly mistake I’ve made.
I want to scream. I want to run. But I can’t. I’m frozen in place. We’re not even touching. And I’m claimed, I’m mated, I’m Caleb’s. How can these two be imprinting on me.
They’re looking at me, the shock on their faces equal to what I’m feeling. “You’re an omega,” one of them says, after a long time.
The other looks at his friend. “That just happened to you, too, didn’t it? She must be insanely fertile.”
I should be scared. They’re going to grab me, take me away with them, make me do unspeakable things. Except that they aren’t, because I want them both so badly, I can barely keep from falling to my knees. How can this be happening? I love Caleb. Even the thought of his name right now makes me feel a pang of desire. Who are these people? How can they have me feeling like this? Am I losing my mind?”
“You’re bears,” says the first one, the one who said I was an omega. “Aren’t you? I’m Tyler. Ty.”
“And I’m Tony,” says the other. “Take us to your leader.” He grins.
I stare at them stupidly.
“Your alpha,” Tony clarifies.
“What...” I lick my lips. Was I always standing this close to them? “What are you going to say to him?”
“You mean, are we going to tell him we both just imprinted on his omega at his doorstep?” Tony asks.
“He won’t like that,” I say. Through my befuddling arousal, a fear surfaces. Have I been disloyal to Caleb somehow? Should this even be possible? I’ve already been imprinted on. I’ve been claimed. I know what Aiden would say right now, the word he would use for an omega who went around collecting imprints from every guy in town. What if Caleb thinks the same thing?
“Jacie?”
I spin around, startled. “Caleb! I was just—”
“Go to our room,” he says, eyes narrowed. His upper lip is quivering. It’s a snarl, very nearly a growl, and his words are a command. Has he forgotten, in his anger, that I’m not subject to his commands?
But it doesn’t matter. I want to go. I don’t want to be in this confusing and terrifying situation, and I definitely want to let my body calm down for a minute. If I have to stand here in this kitchen with all three of them, I’m going to tear off my clothes and mount whoever will have me. I go upstairs, detouring on the way to the bedroom to splash some cold water on my face and take a few deep breaths.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I cross and uncross my ankles, waiting for Caleb’s return. All I can hear is Aiden’s voice, laughing at me. This is what happens. This is what slutty little omegas get when they go out around normal people. Should have listened to me. Caleb’s never going to want a slut like you now.
By the time he comes up to the bedroom, I’m crying. I’m half convinced he’s going to send me to pack and I’ll be sleeping on the street tonight. So, I’m stunned when he flies to my side and pulls me into his arms. “Baby, what is it?”
“Didn’t they tell you?” I choke out through my sobs. “Those two men—they imprinted on me, Caleb.”
“It complicates things,” he says. “But why are you crying?”
I look up at him, confused. He’s being sincere. “Aren’t you upset with me?”
“What?” he sputters. “Why would I be? Because you were imprinted on? You couldn’t help it! And besides, you’re an omega, Jacie. That happens.”
“But I’m supposed to belong to you.”
“What are you talking about?”
A chill seizes my heart. “I thought—aren’t we—together? I thought I was your omega.”
“You are mine,” he says. “But Jacie, it’s not unheard of for omegas to be imprinted upon by multiple partners. Have you never heard of this?”
“No,” I whisper.
“I love you,” he says, gripping my chin. “I love you more than anything. But your body is built for breeding, and that’s bound to appeal to other men. Not men like Dan, who will force a connection where there is none. But these two, Ty and Tony—they have a natural affinity for you. And maybe that’s something you should explore.”
“You actually want me to sleep with them?” I ask.
“I only want you to do what you want to do, Jacie,” Caleb says. “But I saw you in the kitchen. You couldn’t get out of there fast enough.” He rests a hand on my knee. “You do want them, don’t you?”
I can’t meet his eyes. “Yes.”
“Don’t be ashamed, honey. Look at me. Do you want to be with them?”
“I want to be with you.”
“But do you want to be with them too?”
“They’re strangers, Caleb.”
“You do want it, though,” he says. “Physically. It’s written all over you.”
“How can I want to be with strangers?” I’m starting to cry again. “It’s insane. How can I want them this much when I don’t even know them?”
“You’ll get to know them,” Caleb says. “They’re bears too, Jacie. Brown bears. They lost their pack, and they’ve been wandering, looking for a new home. They caught our scent in the woods, out in the clearing where Dan took us. I’m not really surprised. So many hormones that night, so much energy—it’s practically a signpost for anyone on the lookout for a group of bears. Ty and Tony just followed our scent in.”
“Are they going to live here now?” I ask.
“How would you feel about that?” he returns. “It would give you the chance to get to know them, and then you could decide whether you want to get involved with them physically. I’ve already told them they can stay the night. If you don’t like this, or if you don’t feel safe, I’ll send them away in the morning. But if you’d like to explore, we can take them in. Our little pack could use a few more numbers.”
“I just can’t believe you’re okay with this,” I marvel. “How can you be so giving?”
Caleb takes my hands in both of his. “I love you, Jacie. Anything that makes you happy, anything that gives you pleasure or joy, is my privilege to provide. If you want to experience something with these men, I want you to have it. I want you to have everything you want.”
I can’t help it. I can’t. I’m so turned on by the nearness of Caleb and the idea of these other men, Ty and Tony. I don’t even recognize this wanton, lustful version of myself. I can’t believe what I’m doing, even as I shove Caleb onto his back and climb on top of him.
“I can do whatever I want?” I ask, grinding against him.
Caleb gasps. “Whatever you want.”
“I can have anyone.”
“Anyone you want.”
“I’ll always love you most,” I say. “You’ll always be my alpha.”
“And you’ll always be my girl.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
In the next few days, more bears find their way to the house. They’re following the scent we left in the woods too, Caleb explains, a hard look in his eyes. “Dan was always so stupid to take such a risk, having us do things like that in the middle of the woods,” he complains to me one night. “He should have realized it was only a matter of time before we gave away our position.”
“Dan didn’t know there was going to be a fight,” I say. I’m not sure why I’m defending him, exactly, except that he looked so thoroughly beaten when he left here. I’m a little embarrassed on his behalf. “Dan didn’t know there was going to be so much alpha steam being let off in those woods.”
“He should have known,” Caleb says. “He should have known I’d come for him one of these days.”
It does seem sort of inevitable, now that it’s happened. But then, everything’s clear in rearview.
Most of the bears who find us don’t stay. They’re rogues, mostly, wandering across the country and following interesting scents. They bring us reports from other packs they’ve encountered, and we give them dinner and a place to sleep for the night before sending them on their way. After a while, these visits become fewer and farther between, and I know the scent we left in the woods must be fading.
Ty and Tony are another story. At Caleb’s invitation, they decide to stick around. It’s stressful. I know I have Caleb’s blessing to see what happens with them, and in the moment, I was happy to embrace the freedom he offered. But the more I think about what’s happened, the more frightened I am. Ty and Tony are strangers. In the familiar safe space of Caleb’s arm
s, it was easy to imagine myself as a sex goddess, having my way with scores of admiring men. In the cold light of day, it seems absurd. That’s not who I am. Every time I look at Ty or Tony across the dinner table, I feel a twinge of anxiety knowing the question will have to be answered eventually. And yet, every time, that twinge is accompanied by a surge of desire. It’s strange, vastly unfamiliar, to want something so much and to fear it at the same time.
The issue confronts me all the time when I’m least expecting it. I walk into the den one night, thinking I’ll watch a little television, and don’t realize Tony is sprawled on the couch until I’m almost on top of him. He looks up, dark eyes boring into me. “Hey.”
“Hi,” I eke out. My brain is a swirling vortex. Being taken by surprise by him this way isn’t fair. It’s like I’ve walked into a fire, except that the fire is inside me. I’m burning where I stand. And I know exactly what would quench the flame—the body of the man in front of me—but how can I want him so much?
He gets to his feet. It’s a single movement, graceful and effortless. “It’s Jacie, right?”
He’s been asking about me. A part of me feels foolish for being surprised—of course he wanted to know who I was—and another part of me is girlishly touched. Why is this so confusing? I know he wants me. He imprinted. “Yes. That’s right.”
Tony regards me in an abstract, interested sort of way that makes me feel like an object in a museum. He doesn’t say anything, and a part of me wants to turn and walk away. But I can’t. Something is holding me here. It’s as if his fascination with me has me frozen.
Finally, he speaks. “You’re with the Alpha. Caleb.”
Mute, I nod.
“Anybody else?”
It takes me a minute to find my voice. “Anybody else what?”
“Are you with anybody else?”
“N-no...”
He steps closer, looking me up and down. “I don’t mind sharing,” he says, the corners of his mouth curving up. “Looks like you might be too good for one man to keep all to himself.”
The way he’s talking, I should be scared of him. He’s talking about me like I’m a thing, like I’m something he can help himself to. He’s looking at me like I’m dessert. And yet, even now, standing close enough to touch me, his hands remain at his sides. His eyes are all over me, but he doesn’t raise a hand to me.