by J. L. Wilder
Mary is already there, peeling potatoes. “Did you come to help with dinner?” she asks, greeting me with a bright smile.
“I’d like to help,” I say cautiously. “I’ve never cooked before. I don’t really know what I’m doing. But I’d like to have something to contribute to the party.”
“You’ve never cooked at all?” Mary asks.
“My old pack didn’t really use me for anything,” I explain. “I think they thought I was a waste of space, actually. What are we making?”
“Both of their favorite foods,” Mary says. She points to a piece of paper held up on the refrigerator with a magnet. “The mashed potatoes are for Alex. She likes them with sour cream and chives and filet mignon. Caleb will want Bill’s five alarm chili and rice.”
“What can I do?” I ask.
“Why don’t you start the chili?” She goes to a box full of index cards, shuffles through them, and hands me one. “Just follow the instructions on the card. Let me know if you get confused or stuck.”
“That’s it?”
She frowns. “What do you mean?”
“You’re just turning me loose with this set of instructions? You’re not going to, I don’t know, supervise me in case I mess it up?”
“You won’t mess it up.” Mary smiles. “Besides, everyone needs a chance to show what they can do. We could use an extra hand in the restaurant.”
“You’d let me come cook with you?”
“If you wanted to. It would be good for you to get out of the house more, don’t you think? You always seem more upbeat after we come back from a run.”
“Do you think Caleb would let me do that?” I ask. It doesn’t factor in that Caleb’s alpha authority can’t influence what I do. Caleb is the head of the family. If he tells me I can’t go work at the family restaurant, I won’t feel like I have the right to do it.
“Why wouldn’t he?” Mary says. “If your food is good, I mean. We can show it to him tonight and see what he thinks, and then go from there.”
But the food isn’t my primary concern. “You don’t think that if I were in a public place like that, people would be imprinting on me all day long? That’s what my old pack worried about.”
Mary laughs. Then she sees the look on my face. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you, Jacie. It’s just a senseless concern for your pack to have focused on. When I think about the restaurant—I’m not sure a bear shifter has ever been inside, apart from those of us who work there. I forget sometimes how little exposure you have to standard humans, after the way you grew up. But truly, we’re a huge minority. You don’t need to stay locked away in the house to be safe. I doubt you’d ever run into another bear shifter around the city.”
“Really?” This changes my entire perspective on the world. When Ty and Tony came to the house, I assumed Aiden had been right all along, that by being around people I was taking a risk that could end in my being imprinted upon by even more people. I’ve been lucky so far. Everyone who’s imprinted on me has brought fun and pleasure and even love to my life. But I can’t escape my fear that it could happen with someone like Aiden, someone who would use the power of my inescapable attraction to him against me. To hurt me.
But if Mary is right, if most of the world is made up of humans with no bear at all in them—and she is right, of course. I know she is. It’s obvious. I’ve always known it, but hearing her say it makes it real in a way it never has been before. I can go out. I can get a job and be part of the world, and I’ll be safe, because most of the people I’ll meet out there aren’t bears at all.
When the dinners are finished—I taste the chili, and it’s almost unbearably spicy, but Mary says it’s right and I have to admit the flavors do come together well even though I can hardly bear to eat any—Mary starts me on Caleb’s cake. It turns out we’re going to have two different cakes, one for each of the two of them. Mary and I work opposite each other at the counter, and I mirror her, pouring flour and sugar, stirring batter, dabbing in vanilla and breaking eggs.
“You’re a natural at this,” Mary says as we pour the batter into the pans. “A natural baker. You could be in charge of the pies at the restaurant. You’d be great at that, I’ll bet.”
We put the cakes in the oven, and when they come out Mary passes me the frosting. “Blue for Caleb,” she says, showing me how to add a few drops of food coloring and stir up the white sugary cream. “Purple for Alex.” We spread it across the cakes and use candles to outline the symbol of the Hell’s Bears, the same symbol represented by our tattoos, on each cake.
Most of the others are waiting in the dining room when we arrive carrying the food. I set my chili on the table in front of Caleb and lean around to kiss his cheek. “Happy birthday.”
He inhales. “This smells perfect. You made this?”
“How about having her come to work at the restaurant?” Mary suggests. “We could use more hands. And she’s especially good with baking. She’d be a lot of help to us.”
I’m still expecting Caleb to say no, to insist that I need to be protected, but to my surprise, a thoughtful look comes over his face. “I’ll think about that,” he says. “It might not be a bad idea. If you want to, that is?” he adds, turning to me.
“I’d love to,” I say.
Caleb opens his mouth, possibly to give his consent, but just then the door bursts open and Bill enters, a newspaper clutched in his hand. His knuckles are white. “Have you seen this?” he asks Caleb, brandishing it.
“Is that today’s?” Caleb asks.
“Yes. It was out on the curb. I just brought it in. So, I’m guessing you haven’t read the news yet? Although I’m sure it’s all over the internet, you kids are always on that computer, but you would have told us, wouldn’t you? I can’t imagine you wouldn’t have said something about this.”
“Bill, slow down,” Caleb says, getting slowly to his feet. “You’re not making sense. You have to tell us what you’re talking about.”
Bill tosses down the newspaper. It skids across the table and comes to a halt in front of Caleb. “That’s what I’m talking about.”
I’ve never seen Bill so worked up. He’s usually one of the calmest voices in our pack, reliable for his level head and cool demeanor, but now he seems on the verge of panic. Mary gets to her feet and guides him down into a chair, one hand on his back, soothing him.
Caleb picks up the paper and examines it. I read the headline over his shoulder. Wild Animal Attack on Toronto Outskirts.
“Wild animals?” Caleb says.
“The article says the attack wounds were consistent with bears,” Bill says quietly.
A heavy feeling moves around the table. A bear attack? Here? Who could it have been?
“How severe were the injuries?” Mary asks.
“Two dead,” Bill says. “Honeymooners. They were camping.”
I suck in a breath.
“Is there any chance this was...you know, actually just bears?” Tony asks. “There’s no reason to jump to the conclusion that it was one of our kind.”
“Bears are pretty rare this far east,” Joe says.
“This was Dan,” Caleb says.
Silence falls again.
Bill is the one to break it. “That’s what I was afraid of,” he says. “Dan and Miles and Luce. They showed us their proclivity for violence, their disdain for the well-being of others, and we let them leave anyway. Now they’re committing murder.”
“But why?” Alex asks. “I didn’t like Dan and Miles and Luce either, but whatever they did, they always had a reason. What’s the reason behind this?”
“I don’t know,” Caleb says. “But we should never have let them out there on their own.”
“It’s on our heads,” Bill says, his voice dark and disturbed.
Caleb shakes his head. “I’m the alpha, Bill. I’m the one who made the call. It’s on me.”
And I know by the set in his voice, the evenness of his tone, that there will be no talking him ou
t of that idea.
Chapter Thirty
“It’s not your responsibility,” I tell Caleb. I’m feeling anxious and upset by recent events. I can’t forget the last time I saw Dan, the two of us wrestling for dominance in that clearing in the woods. I knew then that he had it in him to hurt me, but I never thought of him as a killer. Even when Caleb worried that Dan might kill him if he knew what was between us—I thought I took that threat seriously, but now, forced to confront the knowledge that Dan has killed, will likely kill again, I realize I never really believed it before.
“It is my responsibility,” Caleb counters, his big hands moving slowly over my back. “I’m the alpha. He’s my responsibility.”
“He’s not part of our pack,” I protest.
“Only because I sent him away,” Caleb says. “It was my job to contain him, don’t you see that, Jacie? If he’s a danger to people...I’m like his parent. That’s what being an alpha is. It’s my job to make sure that society isn’t harmed by his presence.”
I rest my head against him. “I know you’re right,” I say softly. “It’s who you are. You could never rest if there was something you could do to help.”
“You make me sound like some kind of hero,” Caleb laughs as if that idea is preposterous. He is a hero, though. Of course, he is. I shouldn’t have to say it. I don’t say it. I just lean into him and try to let my love, my admiration, pour from my heart to his.
Tony’s heavy footsteps signal his arrival in the kitchen. “Sure you don’t want me to come with you, man? You could use the extra muscle.”
Caleb shakes his head. “I need to know that someone’s taking care of the family. I’ll keep my distance. Scout things out. We can put a raid together once we know more, like where they’re holed up and how many of them there are.”
“You think it’s more than just the three of them?” I ask, pulling back a little to look up at Caleb.”
“I think we’d be foolish not to anticipate that,” he says. “Our numbers have grown, after all. There’s no reason theirs can’t have. A pack, of three, you know...that’s not very much to work with.”
My fear spikes anew. “Caleb, please. For me. Don’t go out there by yourself. Don’t try to fight them alone.”
“You don’t think I’m a match for Dan?”
“It’s not Dan I’m worried about.” Dan is scrawny, mean like a rat, and stripped of his alpha power I don’t doubt that he’s turned vicious, but I also think Caleb can take him. “It’s Miles,” I continue. “He’s stronger than you are. I’m sorry. He’s bigger.”
“I’m not planning to confront him directly,” Caleb says, soothing power like a balm on my frayed nerves. It’s not alpha power, I know it’s not, but there’s something about his voice that eases me all the same. Maybe it’s because of our imprint. Maybe it’s just that I feel so secure in his love.
“Do you promise you won’t?” I ask. “Not even if it looks like it’s just one on one?”
“I promise,” Caleb says. “I won’t make a move on them today.”
Tony reaches out and wraps an arm around my waist, slowly transitioning me from Caleb’s arms to his own. There’s a moment when the two of them are arm in arm with me pressed between them, and I feel so tightly wrapped in their love and brotherhood that it’s hard to access the part of myself that’s anxious and fearful. If only I could stay here, caught between them, forever.
And I think Tony understands that. Once Caleb is gone, he scoops me into his arms and carries me up the stairs to the room he shares with Ty. Lying on Tony’s bed, sandwiched between the two of them, is not quite as fulfilling—nothing can really take the place of Caleb, as far as I’m concerned. But it is reassuring, nonetheless. It’s as if whatever organ in my body wants to fill itself with anxiety can’t quite expand all the way. My fears are muted, tamed, in the presence of two of my mates.
I lose track of the time, lying there between them. At some point I know it’s the middle of the night. Tony’s snores behind me are gruff and unselfconscious. My face is pressed against Ty’s bare chest, my lips forming to his collarbone, and I think I’ve just come out sleep.
His hand shifts down to my hip. “Hi.”
“Do you think Caleb’s back?” I whisper against him, letting him feel the shape of my words against his skin.
Ty tenses a little. We don’t do this. We never talk about Caleb when we’re like this, naked and pressed together. It’s strange enough that Tony is here with us, but at least Tony and Ty are equals. Everyone knows that Caleb is my primary relationship, my utmost loyalty. How could Ty help but feel jealous, hearing me whisper his name in the night?
But if he does feel that way, he doesn’t let on. “I think we’d know,” he says quietly. “He would have come to find us, to let us know what he’d seen out there.”
“What’s taking so long?” I agonize.
Ty doesn’t answer. He just shifts me in his arms to a more comfortable position. I try to relax into his warmth. But I can’t, not full. Pictures are coming into my head, things I don’t want to see. I close my eyes, trying to block them out, but I can’t escape them. The memory of Dan’s face, twisted with rage as he stared at Caleb in the clearing. The set of Miles’ jaw as he dragged me dispassionately down the hall and to the Hells’ Bears’ guest room. The way Luce looked at everyone as if she was bored, as if we were all entertainment put on Earth for her amusement. She doesn’t value human life. She won’t hesitate to hurt Caleb.
I shiver, and Ty wraps his arms around me more tightly. “We’re all right,” he says quietly. “No news is good news.”
“How is that true?” I ask. “If we had news, it would mean Caleb was back. News would mean he was safe. No news could still be bad.”
Ty opens his mouth—perhaps about to elaborate on how no news might be better than news, which isn’t really something I want to hear—but he’s cut off by a loud bang from downstairs.
Tony, a light sleeper despite his snores, jolts awake. “Who’s there?”
“That’s the door,” I agree.
Ty looks confused. “It’s the middle of the night. Who would be—Jacie!”
I’m on my feet already, turning to slide away from them. “It’s Caleb. Caleb’s home.” My sock-clad feet are slipping and skidding on the wood floor, and I use my arms to propel myself through the bedroom door and into the hall.
“Jacie, wait!” Tony’s call is intense but whispered. “This isn’t right. Something’s wrong. Caleb wouldn’t be making all this noise, he’d come in quietly, he wouldn’t want to disturb us—”
I only hear two words: something’s wrong.
Something’s wrong with Caleb. He’s home from his search for Dan—God, he must have found Dan, I can’t think what else this could be—and he’s hurt. Dan hurt my Caleb. I can’t stay away. I run down the hall, descend the stairs, and race into the kitchen, even as Ty and Tony try to pull me back.
Caleb is curled over the sink, holding a towel to his bicep. I run to his side. “Caleb! Did they hurt you?”
“It’s not bad,” he says through gritted teeth, and then he turns to the door through which I just entered. “Get everyone. The whole pack. Wake them up.”
“What’s going on?” Tony asks, and I know what it costs him to do so. He’s pulling against his alpha’s order. He knows he’s going to obey in a moment. That’s the only reason he can stand to hold back.
Caleb sucks in a pained breath. “It’s not Dan.”
Ty curses and disappears without a word, off to follow orders. Tony shoots a troubled look in my direction, then retreats too.
“What do you mean?” I ask Caleb. “It’s not Dan? But who else could it be?”
Caleb meets my eyes, and in that moment my blood turns to ice.
“There’s a pack of polar bears moving through town tonight,” he says. “Signs indicate they’ve been camped nearby for about a week.”
“Polar bears?” My lungs are sucked empty.
Caleb nods
. “And they’re heading this way.”
Chapter Thirty-One
I’m expecting the usual spring to action that I’ve come to associate with the Hell’s Bears, but Caleb doesn’t move. I take my cue from him and keep still too, as if I’m ducked into the shadows and hiding from the threat. As if squeezing my eyes shut tightly enough could make it go away.
Above my head, I hear Caleb talking, explaining to the others what’s going on and what he saw. I’m barely listening. My mind is racing to come up with some other explanation. Because the easiest answer can’t possibly be the true one. They can’t be here in the city, can they? After all this time keeping to themselves? Why would they come now?
“Do you think it’s really them, Caleb?” Mary’s voice asks. I turn in Caleb’s arms and see concern etched in the lines of her face. “Jacie’s old pack?”
“It must be, right?” Tony says. “How many polar bears do you find living this far south? I doubt there’s another pack of that size in the Toronto area. You said it was how many?”
“Looked like six or seven,” Caleb says.
“Well, that’s good,” Alex says, sounding as if she’s trying to force optimism into our thoughts with a crowbar. “We outnumber them.”
But Ty shakes his head. “We only outnumber them if we count her as a number.” He nods his head in my direction, and then addresses me. “Sorry, darlin’. You know I love you, but you’re not a fighter.”
Joe speaks up from his position beside the door. “You weren’t there at the fight where Caleb became alpha,” he rumbles, eyes narrowed. “Jacie can hold her own.”
“This doesn’t help, Joe,” Caleb says. “We don’t need to be fractured right now. Arguing among ourselves. Everyone try to stay focused, please.”
“If you expect me to sit here and let this new cub talk about Jacie like she’s lost in the woods—” Joe pushes off the wall, toward Caleb. I’m struck by the energy in him. He may be old, but he still has strength in him.
“Yes, I agree, Jacie’s tougher than she looks,” Caleb says impatiently, “but these bears were big, Joe, and they’re going to be targeting her. I think we can count on that. Holding off Dan when he wasn’t expecting it is one thing, but a full pack of polar bears focused on her—”