by J. L. Wilder
Then Alex and Mary are gone, getting into place for the ceremony. There’s what feels like a long time, but is probably only a few minutes, when I’m on my own. I want my men in that moment. I want the lively distraction that Ty gives me. I want the way Tony pushes me out of my comfort zone and somehow makes me still feel safe. And I want Caleb, my missing other half, who I know is waiting for me in the clearing. It takes all I have in me to keep myself from running to him.
After what feels like forever, Joe arrives for me. “Well, don’t you look lovely,” he says, taking my hand and helping me to my feet. “Doing this barefoot, are we?”
“Yeah.” It feels right, somehow, being barefoot in the woods. It feels more natural. My bear self relaxes and rises to the surface and I feel like I am wholly myself. It’s also nice not to have to worry about mud on expensive shoes, of course.
Joe takes my arm and walks me carefully through the forest. Music is coming from somewhere. The trees arch above me, as if nature has grown its own special canopy for me. I feel celebrated, special, beautiful.
And then I round a corner and see Caleb waiting for me.
Intellectually, I know that I wasted years of my life feeling unlovable. I know that Aiden convinced me there was nothing good about me except the way in which my body could be used. His control tactics were cruel and damaging and for years—for decades—I believed the things that pack told me about myself. But looking at Caleb now, I can’t even remember those feelings. They’re so far away from me, I might have imagined them.
The look in his eyes is pure love. I thought he might be impressed with my dress and my hairstyle, but he’s looking at me exactly the way he does when we’re alone in our bedroom, naked, without any secrets or artifice between us. The expression on his face in those moments is nothing short of adoration, and he looks the same way now.
How could I have thought no one would ever love me? How did I go from being that woman to this one, walking down this aisle on the arm of a father figure toward a man who looks at me with that much love?
Ty and Tony are groomsmen, and they do react to the way I’m dressed—I recognize the desire on both of their faces. Neither of them will make a move today—it’s my wedding day, after all, and I am Caleb’s tonight—but I can tell they’re thinking about it. I draw energy from their desire. I feel sexier, more powerful. I will have more to give to Caleb—and then it occurs to me that I always have more to give to whomever I’m with because of how wanted I am made to feel all the time by the men who have imprinted on me. Having more is truly a good thing for everyone involved.
We reach the end of the aisle. Joe hands me off to Caleb, and it’s all I can do not to throw back my veil and kiss him right then and there. “Hi,” I say softly.
“We made it,” he says, his hands finding mine.
We don’t let go of each other, even for a moment, as Mary takes us through our vows. I’m not even really conscious of what she’s saying, of what I’m repeating back to her. All I know is that the words are binding me to Caleb, tying us together in the only remaining way. We’re already connected so deeply, so unshakably. Alpha and omega. Imprint and mark. Husband and wife.
And when Mary pronounces us, the kiss we share is so deep and so passionate that it almost feels as if we’re fusing together as one. In a lot of ways, in all the ways that really matter, we are. Caleb and I will never be apart again.
I DON’T TELL HIM UNTIL after the ceremony, after the reception has died down and the revelers in the woods have returned to the house to sleep off the excessive champagne. Caleb and I are sleeping here, under the stars, in the same clearing where we married just a few hours ago. We don’t bother to pitch a tent, but we unroll a sleeping mat and lay out blankets.
Caleb pulls me into his arms. “That’s Sagittarius,” he says. “The healer.”
“No, it isn’t,” I say.
He glances at me. “No?”
“First of all,” I say, “Sagittarius is the archer, not the healer. And secondly, you’re pointing at Ursa Major.”
“The dog star?”
“That’s Sirius. What kind of bear are you?”
“The kind who isn’t an astrologer.” He kisses my cheek. “That’s what I married you for.”
“Oh, that’s why you married me? Astrology?”
“Complementary skill sets.”
I nestle into him. “Ursa Major is the Great Bear. See, those are the feet, and there’s the head—”
“It looks like me,” Caleb says. “Don’t you think?”
“Sure, you could be brothers.”
His laugh is deep and booming. “I wish we could do this every night. Sleep out here, under the stars, just the two of us...if I weren’t the alpha, I’d say we should think about getting our own place for a few years. Just for nighttime use, I mean.”
“Completely impractical. There’s no way we could afford it, for one thing.”
“I know, I know.”
“Caleb,” I say, “there’s something I need to talk to you about. I just found out this morning, but I didn’t want to tell you right before the ceremony.”
He’s instantly on the alert. “What’s wrong? Are you okay? You aren’t sick, are you?”
“No, no, I’m fine. I mean, to be honest, I am a little under the weather, but it isn’t anything to worry about.”
His hand finds my forehead. “You don’t feel warm. But we shouldn’t sleep outside if you’re sick, Jacie. Maybe we should get back to the house—”
“Stop, Caleb,” I interrupt. “I’m not sick.”
“It’s not those bears from your old pack, is it?” he asks. “Did they contact you again? I swear, I’ll kill them—”
“Caleb!”
He stops, takes me in.
“This isn’t bad news, okay?” I say. Almost instantly, I doubt myself. “I mean, I hope it isn’t. I think it’s good news, and I’m really hoping you feel the same way—”
“You’re scaring the hell out of me, Jacie.”
I take a deep, steadying breath. “I’m pregnant.”
Caleb’s eyes go wide. “You are?”
“I imagine it’s some mix of the three of you,” I say. “But I feel certain about you, Caleb. There are definitely cubs of yours in this litter.”
He closes his eyes and exhales. “I’m going to be a father?”
“And our clan’s going to grow.” I feel so fulfilled in this moment, and so proud of my role as a member of the Hell’s Bears. I’m the mother of the new generation. I’m the reason my alpha’s line will continue.
“Do the others know yet?” Caleb asks.
“Not yet. I wanted to tell you first. I’ll talk to Tony and Ty tomorrow, when we get back, and then we can tell the rest of the family.”
“Are you happy?”
“I’m so happy. I’m so excited. Are you?”
“I’ve never been happier,” he whispers. “Jacie, this is the best wedding gift you could have given me.”
And we’re in each other’s arms, skin on skin, hands and lips finding the places we know as well as our own bodies. Being with Caleb is a homecoming, a return to the deepest, safest parts of my own soul. As I wrap myself around him, all my stress and anxiety melts away. The world is a perfect blue place, and my family is happy and safe and about to grow, thanks to me. I couldn’t possibly want for anything more.
Preview of Omega’s Bears: Hell’s Bears MC
All my life, I’ve felt I should be stronger. All my life, I’ve felt I should be powerful. But all my life, I’ve been nothing.
This isn’t even my motorcycle. I don’t have a bike of my own. I always rode on the back of someone else’s. I got used to the feeling of wrapping my arms around a thick waist as the wind whipped my hair back from my neck. I got used to squeezing the sides of the bike seat with my thighs and pressing my face into the person in front of me—Berto, usually—to keep my cheeks warm.
Most of all, I got used to the feeling of being a passenger.
Of not being in control of where we were going or even whether we stayed upright.
That isn’t the case tonight.
I don’t think the fact that I’m an omega was a surprise to anyone. It certainly wasn’t to me. Even when I was a small child, I was quiet, submissive, tame. A follower. Always at the back of the pack. From the moment I was old enough to understand what an omega was, I saw myself in the description. Not that it mattered very much in our clan. Everyone was kind and respectful. No one treated me like I had any less worth. And because no one ever imprinted on me, I was able to live like the betas most of the time.
But what’s happened now is wrong. This is not what’s supposed to happen. When a clan is wiped out, it’s not supposed to be an omega who’s left alive; alone to face the world. That isn’t supposed to happen. We’re not equipped for this. It’s too dangerous. It’s too terrifying.
I can’t believe the clan is gone. Everyone is gone. Berto, Sam, Manny, Val, Dani...they were my best friends, and we thought we’d be together forever. And everybody else too. Leo, our alpha, who managed the clan carefully and fairly. Alessa, Leo’s mate and wife, who was as good as a mother to the rest of us. They were my family. They were all I had in the world.
My life as an omega could have been terrifying. It could have been horrible, abusive, and violent. But I’ve been one of the lucky ones. I’ve been part of a clan that loved me.
Now, that’s gone.
So, I’m ripping North as fast as I can on the motorcycle that used to belong to Berto. He won’t be needing it anymore. I’ll never ride passenger on the back of this bike with my arms around Berto’s waist again. The wolves have seen to that.
It shouldn’t have happened. I should have been stronger.
Being a shifter is a powerful thing, even if I am an omega. I shifted, for the first time, at the age of twelve, but I knew it was coming long before then. My parents were both shifters, and I’d grown up seeing them in bear form. Back then, my father was the leader of the clan, but when he and Mom died in a car accident two weeks after my seventeenth birthday, Leo took over. From that day on, he treated me like a daughter. I feel awful that, when the wolves came, I wasn’t able to protect him. Now, he’s gone too. Everyone I love is gone.
I pull in at a gas station to pick up some food before I stop for the night. Going in here alone is nerve wracking. I’ve done my best to disguise myself, covering up the tattoo that all members of our clan got, and I’m not in heat, so there’s no doubt, being out alone is safer for me right now than it could be. But I’m still all alone in an unfamiliar place. I’m lightweight, slightly built. And I’ve never been taught how to fight or defend myself. It was always the job of the rest of the clan to fight for me, and for each other. I had other responsibilities.
The bell over the door rings as I step in, and the woman behind the counter looks up. I feel better. It’s a woman. There’s security in that. I load up my arms with bottles of water and granola bars, and take them to the counter to pay.
She rings me up, trying not to be obvious about the fact that she’s looking me up and down, but I notice. “What’s your name, hon?” she asks as she puts my purchases in a bag.
“Camile. Cami.” Immediately, I could kick myself. Why did I tell her? I should have lied, but that’s another thing I’ve never learned how to do.
“You out here all alone tonight, Cami?”
“My dad’s waiting at the hotel,” I mumble. Maybe she’s just trying to be helpful, but I can’t take the chance.
She looks at me for a long time. I’m sure she knows I’m lying. She doesn’t call me on it, though. “Twenty-two dollars and thirty-seven cents.”
I hand over the money—all cash, all taken from the wallets of my clan. I didn’t like doing it, but if I hadn’t, someone else would have. And I can’t afford to be traceable right now. The wolves must know I’m still alive. I’m sure they’re already out looking for me.
I take the bag of supplies and head out of the store, looking over my shoulder with every step, in case I’m being followed. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to walk around without worrying that I’m being followed again. Just in case the woman at the gas station took note of me, I drive past two exits on the highway before pulling off at a motel. I’m taking another risk by stopping for the night and I know it, but I also know that I can’t drive all the way from Montana to Alaska without any sleep. I’ll get a few hours and leave early in the morning. That should be fine.
Checking into the motel goes without a hitch. I lock the door to my room and throw the deadbolt, then draw the curtains across the window that faces out onto the street. I have to take every precaution. I wish I could afford to stay somewhere a little nicer, but because all I have is the cash I took from my clan’s wallets, I’m on a tight budget. I need to make this money last as long as I can.
Not that the room is horrible, exactly. It’s warm, at least, and there’s a bathroom with plumbing that works, and little motel shampoo bottles and soaps, so I can clean myself up from the road. There’s even a TV, although I can’t imagine wanting to watch anything right now. It would relax me, but I don’t want to relax. I want to be sharp.
There’s something uncomfortable about this place, all the same. The carpet is damp in places—I learn quickly where the trouble spots are and how to sidestep them. The blanket on the bed is thin and stiff, and I know it will be uncomfortable to sleep under. The pillows are flat. And I’m not confident the water glasses in the bathroom have been changed since the last tenant checked out. But that’s all right. It’s one night. I don’t have to use them.
There are worse things out there.
The thing is, the wolves are almost definitely following me.
Inter-clan rivalries are decades old, and I’ve been warned against wolf shifters all my life. But once we knew for sure that I was an omega, the caution ratcheted up to a whole new level. I never understood why, though, until a week ago. Other bears would want me, of course, but what was it about me that drove the wolves wild? I assumed they were just trying to prevent the clan from growing, knowing that, if anyone imprinted on me, I would be able to produce a litter and swell our numbers.
But last week, Leo came home in a state of high anxiety and told us what he’d learned. “They’re trying to cross-breed,” he said, pacing back and forth in front of us, his hands rubbing at the sides of his jeans the way they did when he was under pressure. “They want Cami, so they can breed with her.”
Of course, everyone was outraged, but I was terrified. Berto stayed up all night with me, calming me, assuring me that nothing like that would happen as long as he was alive.
They’ll know I wasn’t there when they slaughtered my clan. They’ll know they missed me. And they won’t have given up on their plan. But now, I have no one to protect me. I’m alone in the world, and I have no ability to fight them off. Running is the only option left.
I have to hope I got away quickly enough that they lost the trail. I have to hope that if they are following me, they won’t pick up on signs, like Berto’s bike, which I did my best to conceal by parking it behind the motel instead of where it could be seen from the street. But my odds of getting out of this are feeling pretty low.
I bathe quickly over the sink, using soap and a washcloth, mostly because I’m afraid to get in the shower. My hearing is sharp, and I’ll know, right away, if anyone makes noise outside the room, but if I’m in the shower, that will muffle any noise there might be. I can’t take the risk. Once clean, I gather up my clothes from the day, place them in the motel garbage can, pull out the bag, and tie it in a knot. I stuff the bag of dirty laundry down to the bottom of my backpack. I’ll have to wait until everything I own is dirty before I can consider spending money on laundry.
I want to leave the lights on, but I know I can’t. I can’t give anyone driving by any reason to notice or think twice about my motel room. As soon as I flick the switch and turn them off, though, the room becomes ten times more ominou
s. I feel shaky and afraid. I make my way slowly from the wall over to the bed and crawl in, my eyes darting from corner to corner. There are no wolves in here. I would smell them if there were. But I can’t shake the specter from my mind.
I have to sleep but sleep eludes me. When I close my eyes, I see the big old three-story house that was our den. I relive the moment I walked inside after my evening run. I was only allowed to run in the woods behind our house. That was the only place it was safe to go alone. As long as I was there, I was protected, because no one could get by my clan.
I knew, as soon as I walked into the house, that something was wrong. I smelled it. Wolf and something worse. And then I saw the bodies, piled in the living room. Leo, Manny, Val, Alessa, Dani, Sam...and Berto....
They were my brothers and sisters. My mother and father.
I wanted to stay. I wanted to give in to the horror, to fall to the floor and scream with the pain. But the wolves would already be in the forest looking for me. It was sheer luck that I’d made it back without running into them. I had to go. I had to go quickly. So, I ran to my room and threw a few things in a bag, forcing myself not to feel the overwhelming emotions inside. I took the keys to Berto’s bike. I ran. I’ve been running ever since.
Now, finally lying still, the emotions catch up to me and crash down over me, and with thoughts of my lost clan battering against my mind and my heart, I cry myself to sleep.
About The Author
Retired man eater, I’ve dated them all! Now I get to weave the former men in my life into shifters and vampires.
And I did once have a thing with three brothers!!!
Check out my freebie here: Brother’s Wolf