I tried not to feel self-conscious or defensive, but it was hard. “I like him. It’s not how I’d have pictured a relationship looking even six months ago, but it feels right.”
Just because I’d never imagined a serious relationship with a man didn’t mean it was something I needed to be freaked out about. It wasn’t like I’d fallen for an alien, I’d just fallen for someone articulate, sweet, interesting, and educated who happened to have a penis—and since I knew how that worked, I wasn’t really worried.
Besides, I had a feeling a lot of guys in the same situation would be more concerned about other people’s perception than the fact that they were falling in love with a man. But I’d given up worrying about what other people thought a long time ago. I’d always pictured being in a relationship with someone who was easy to talk with, that I was attracted to, and who understood why I was passionate about art.
I’d found all of that and more with Lane.
“I’m glad things are working out between you guys.” Then Gray’s voice took a more teasing tone. “But all this talk about it feeling right means that you’re comfortable with the modeling and how the package, as you described it, is decorated?”
Rolling my eyes, I started heading out of the kitchen. “If he’d have been a different person, it might have bothered me. I don’t know. But the way he talks about work and how it makes him feel doesn’t make me uncomfortable.”
I’d never pictured dating anybody with a job like that, so I wasn’t even sure how I would’ve felt about it in the past. Maybe I’d always been open-minded about it or maybe it was just all the people that I’d met over the past couple of years, but the idea of people looking at Lane online didn’t bother me.
He was beautiful. Of course they’d want to look at him.
It was also easy to understand that it was the only outlet he was allowing himself for his more feminine side. Taking that away from him would have been like shoving him back in the closet when he was only half out to begin with. No, I would rather bring him all the way out to show him how incredible he was.
Gray cleared his throat, sounding guilty. “I may have poked around the website, so I’m glad that you’re comfortable with his work.”
Expecting Gray not to snoop would have been ridiculous. “I told you he was beautiful.”
Gray laughed. “Absolutely. I expect some praise for my restraint. I’m not even going to ask if he wears anything like that at home.”
“That’s because you already asked the question. You don’t get kudos for that.” Just because I hadn’t known the answer when he’d first asked didn’t mean I was going to tell him now.
Gray groaned. “That has to mean yes. How did you end up in a relationship with someone instead of me? You look like a Hells Angel and he had to have assumed you were straight.”
“Assumptions don’t make it real. Evidently, I wasn’t straight.”
“So you’re bi?”
“Yes.” That was as good a definition as any I’d found online. There were more choices than I’d ever dreamed, and I had to admit I’d just stopped reading when I found one that made a reasonable amount of sense. Eventually, I might go back and look at it again but for the time being, I was more focused on Lane than the difference between being bi and being pan.
Gray chuckled. “You’re not in the closet, right? You don’t mind if I drive a few people crazy with this?”
“What are you going to do?” I wasn’t in the closet, but I wasn’t going to let him do something insane like skywrite my sexuality across downtown or something.
“There are just a few people that I want tease about this. I’m still friends with some of the guys we went to school with and they’re going to kick themselves for putting you in the straight guy category.”
I snorted and shook my head. “Go ahead. I’m not in the closet.”
I would probably regret letting him tease people, but even if for some reason things didn’t work out with Lane, I wasn’t going to deny how I felt.
Gray’s voice held a wicked pleasure. “You’re the best.”
I was an idiot who was a soft touch. There was a difference. “Just remember that the next time I drive you crazy.”
“Like when you won’t tell me what kind of sexy things Lane wears at home?” I had a feeling he wasn’t going to let up on that.
“Exactly.”
“Maybe. I’m not going to make any promises on that, though.” The teasing faded away, and I heard a serious tone in his voice. “I’m just glad this is working out for you.”
“Thanks.” As wonderful as everything was going, there were still a few things floating around in my head. But I wasn’t sure how much I should share with Gray so I went with the easiest. “The only thing that’s bugging me is that I haven’t been invited to his work yet. And before you can ask, no, I haven’t asked him to come to my work.”
Gray snorted, making me feel like I had to explain it more. “He’s been busy this week, and I didn’t want to put anything else on his plate. He’s a worrier, and the idea seemed to make him nervous.”
“Nervous because you work in a tattoo place with needles and creepy things, or nervous because he’s not sure if you’ve told anyone else about him and he doesn’t know how people will react?” Gray didn’t even have to pause before the question popped out.
Hmm.
“He knows I’m not in the closet. We’ve talked about that.” In vague and more specific terms as well. I wasn’t sure if the analogy of being in the closet was the right way to explain it or not. Being oblivious wasn’t the same as keeping things private.
“But there’s a difference between being willing to hold his hand in public and introducing him to friends and coworkers.” He said it like it was obvious, but I wasn’t sure it made sense.
“No, there’s not. Why would there be?”
Gray laughed, but it had a sour ring to it. “There is. Trust me.”
Something in his voice made me want to reach out and give him a hug. I had to settle for something less tangible, though. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Not your fault, but let’s just say that some guys who are still trying to figure things out don’t make the best decisions.” The sadness that was threaded through the words made it hard to know what to do. I wanted to let him know I was here for him, but I didn’t want to push him if he didn’t want to talk about it.
“I’m not going to be that guy. I respect Lane, and I want things to work out between us. It doesn’t matter what other people say.” I could understand how people in different situations felt that opening up to friends and coworkers might be difficult. However, my situation was different. I didn’t need the tattoo shop income to live, and if I was being honest, Stan couldn’t run things without me. So the chances of him being an ass were slim to none, no matter what he personally thought.
“Then make sure Lane understands that and don’t expect him to read your mind.” I could almost see Gray rolling his eyes. “He might be waiting for you to say something. Just look at things from his point of view. He might be really nervous to take you to work. If he’s the insecure type, he might be thinking of all the other hot guys that work there, and if he’s still nervous about how you feel with the whole just realizing you’re bi thing, then he might not want to put you in an awkward position.”
“Maybe.” I still wasn’t sure. I hadn’t made him guess about anything to do with my sexuality. At least, not that I was aware of.
“Then maybe he’s just shy about you seeing him nearly naked in front of other people. Bringing his boyfriend into a situation like that would have to be weird. He’s not one of the models who flirts and blatantly shows off how sexy he is in every picture.”
I snorted. “You’ve been browsing around that site entirely too often, haven’t you?”
Gray laughed. “I should probably plead the fifth on that, but yeah. It’s your fault. You showed it to me.”
“No, I told you where my boyfriend works. I did
n’t say to stalk him and all his friends online.” I was not that kind of guy.
He tried to sound innocent. “I’m not stalking. I’m helping you analyze your relationship.”
“I’m not sure looking at my boyfriend half naked falls in that category.”
Gray snickered. “I’m sure it does. I bet he’s really grateful that you’re not the jealous type.”
Had I mentioned that to Lane?
Suddenly I wasn’t sure. I knew I’d told him that I didn’t have an issue with his job, but had I gotten more specific? Okay, maybe there was a valid reason why Lane hadn’t invited me to work. “Would it be a bad thing if I invited myself?”
“To his work in general or to one of the photo shoots?”
“A photo shoot. I want there to be no question in his mind that I support him, and I don’t have an issue with it. I think that would also be the best way to meet his friends in their natural environment.”
Gray nearly giggled. “They’re not wild animals.”
“Oh no, you haven’t met Eli.”
“Which one is he?”
“The one who’s clearly begging the photographer to fuck him. He’s a handful.” And I’d only met him in public.
“You know, he might just be nervous about you meeting his friends. If they’re that unique, they’ve probably been driving him crazy.”
Like Gray had me. “Okay, that’s probably a good point too.”
“I say just go for it. Figure out what his schedule looks like for the next couple of days and see when you can stop in unexpectedly. Get there just in time so that you’re not disrupting the actual photo shoot but where he doesn’t have the ability to shoo you away.”
“But I don’t want to make him uncomfortable.” I could see that going badly.
Gray sighed. “Maybe talk to his friend then? The one who was in the coffee shop. See what he thinks.”
“Oh.” That might work. Eli was more of a handful than I would be willing to date no matter what his gender, but Lane said he was a good friend. Hopefully, a good enough one that he would honestly let me know what would be best for Lane. “That might work.”
Or it might go terribly wrong…I’d heard enough Eli stories to realize that.
Chapter 14
Lane
“Oh, your sexy man is here.” Eli sighed dramatically and wiggled in his seat.
Rolling my eyes, I threw my balled-up straw at him. “Hands off, he’s mine. Besides, you have your hands full already.”
Eli grinned. “I can still look, though. Besides, I’ve been locked up for days, and I’m at that constantly horny phase.” He leaned back in his chair trying to look pathetic. “I even flirted with the UPS man this morning.”
“Did Roman see?”
Eli nodded. “Of course, I’m going to hear about it for days.”
Those two had the oddest relationship, and I wasn’t going to even try to guess Roman’s reaction. “What did he do?”
Eli smirked, looking very pleased with himself. “I actually didn’t realize he was behind me. He just smacked my ass and said if I liked being caged that much, he’d leave me in it for a few more days. The UPS guy just about fainted, but he didn’t complain. I can’t decide if he was picturing himself as me or as Roman.”
The UPS guy that was enthralled with everything to do with Leashes and Lace. So it was impossible to tell what he really wanted. “One of these days that poor guy is going to have a heart attack.”
Eli shrugged. “He either needs to step up and admit that he’s curious about it or become a little bit more subtle.”
“Because we’re only allowed one drama queen and you already have that slot taken?”
Eli looked at me like I was his star pupil. “Yes!”
I was saved from any more of Eli’s oversharing as Wilder walked up to the table. He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Did the shoot get finished quicker than you expected?”
I shook my head. “We had to reschedule. The shipment was missing a couple of key pieces and Roman didn’t want to stretch it out over two days. We should be able to do it tomorrow afternoon. It’s going to change our plans, though. I don’t think the movie’s going to work. Sorry.”
Wilder shrugged and his hand came out to caress over my head. “That’s all right. We can hang out earlier. Then I can come to the shoot, if that’s okay with everyone. We can go out to dinner afterward.”
He said it like it was no big deal, but I felt my heart skip a beat. I wasn’t even sure why the idea of him coming was so nerve-racking. I hadn’t been able to narrow down my worries to one specific thing. It might have just been simply the fact that I’d never had a boyfriend or lover watch me at work.
Other models had brought their significant others in occasionally, and it was never a problem. Hell, with the shit between Eli and Roman, we’d gotten used to having the heat and drama around that couples sometimes brought into a room. If Wilder had been the crazy drama type, then some of the other models might’ve had an issue. But he always radiated a calm strength that I thought they would be comfortable with.
I must’ve sat there silently for too long because I felt Eli kick me under the table. Trying not to jump at the pain that radiated up my shin, I nodded. “That sounds good. Maybe we can see the later movie instead, unless you want to get some work done.”
We’d originally planned on hanging out earlier in the day so he could make some progress on his projects in the evening. He had a few sketches he needed to work on for some new tattoo clients and there were a few illustration jobs that he was looking at putting in a submission for.
Wilder shrugged. “If I can stay more focused tonight, I might be able to get some of the work done.”
Eli couldn’t resist. “What were you distracted by?”
Wilder didn’t seem to mind the teasing, though. He just gave me a heated look and then grinned at Eli. “I think that should be obvious. All I got done last night was a dozen sketches of my sexy stalker.”
Heat started to rise up my face, but I leaned into the hand that had come back up to cup my cheek. “I wasn’t even there, so I can’t be held responsible for your imagination.”
Wilder’s smile turned wicked. “Oh, but you can. You were supposed to model for me so I could sketch you the other night. Instead, you distracted me, so it is your fault.”
“What kind of sketches?” Eli was like a little yappy dog who’d heard the word treat.
“Beautiful ones. I know exactly how I want him to look.” The sentence wasn’t shocking, but Wilder made it sound wicked.
Eli lit up like it was Christmas and there were a truckload of presents under the tree. “We’ve got these pretty little nightgowns in the shoot that you’re going to love. They’d be perfect to sketch. Roman thinks they’d be hot for a special photo shoot. Did Lane tell you about it? I think you two would be great for it.”
My head nearly hit the table.
Wilder chuckled and was probably smiling, but I was analyzing the table to figure out what else I could throw at Eli. Wilder seemed to find the idea amusing, but I couldn’t tell from his voice if he thought the idea was ridiculous or interesting. “A photo shoot, huh? No, he never mentioned it.”
“I didn’t think so.” There was a short pause where I knew Eli was giving me a frustrated stare, but I was too busy figuring out the patterns in the wood grain of the table to notice. “You two would be so hot together. When you come to the shoot tomorrow, I’m going to have Roman tell you what he’s picturing. But it’s basically focusing on the chemistry between you even though you’re so different. It’s going to be fabulous.”
Eli spoke about the shoot like it was a done deal, and Wilder didn’t argue with him. Was it because he was too nice? Did he not want the drama of having to tell Eli no? Could he actually want to do it? The grown-up thing to do would be to ask, but I didn’t seem to be able to.
“Eli, don’t drive him crazy.” Okay, that wasn’t exactly forcefully telling him no,
but it was at least something.
I glanced up at Wilder to see him smiling like I’d done something cute. Eli, on the other hand, just sighed and plopped his elbows down on the table to rest his head in his hands. “You know I’m right. And once Roman gets a good look at your tattooed hunk here, he’s going to be even more excited about the photos.”
Eli’s eyes danced and I could see passion and excitement stirring in. He wasn’t trying to hide how incredible he thought the pictures would look, but I knew it was more than that. I was pretty sure he was imagining how worked up Roman would be after a shoot like that.
A private BDSM shoot with Eli egging everyone on—there was no way Wilder would do it.
“We’ll see.” Wilder’s vague response only made Eli’s excitement worse.
Eli took the noncommittal answer as an agreement to do the shoot and excitement started racing through him. “Make sure Lane brings you a few minutes early tomorrow. It’ll let you have time to talk to Roman before he starts focusing on work.”
Wilder just chuckled but lifted one shoulder in a careless shrug that just gave Eli’s imagination more to work with. I was going to have to have a talk with him about giving Eli clear boundaries. Vague answers would only keep him obsessing. “I’d love to meet Roman. He sounds interesting.”
Was Wilder doing it on purpose?
Was it his way of making Eli crazy?
I could probably support that, but Eli was going to continue to drive me nuts about the photos. Besides, Wilder really wasn’t the type to poke at the drama queen just see his reaction. The only thing that made rational sense was that he was actually thinking about it. But that just couldn’t be right.
Not that he wouldn’t look incredible in the photos.
I could understand why Roman was so enthusiastic about the idea. The rest of the guys had only seen Wilder in passing, but they were in agreement that he was hot. At first glance, he gave off a bold masculinity that was incredibly sexy, and once people got to know him, the softer side made him even more appealing.
Lane Page 13