My feet moved me into the bathroom when all I wanted to do was stand there ‘til I figured out what was going on.
I brushed my teeth and hair, pulled out a new pair of pajamas—these dark blue with white and yellow stars all over them—and quickly dressed.
The TV was off when I walked out of the bathroom, but I could tell Freak was still awake.
“You could have left the TV on.” I slipped under the covers and turned to face the couch. “I’m not that tired yet.”
“Just go to sleep, Carnie.” His voice was a low rumble, and even though I knew he was upset, the low timber sent chills down my spine.
“Is something wrong, Freak?” My voice was a whisper because I didn’t want to ask the question, but I couldn’t act like everything was fine. “Is it my family being here?”
When I talked to him about my family staying at Nikki’s, he seemed okay with it, but maybe after tonight, he realized it wasn’t the best idea for them to be here.
“Everything is fine, Carnie. Go to sleep. I’m tired,” he droned on.
I bit my lip and held back the words that wanted to pour out of my mouth. He wasn’t open to talk about anything, especially whatever it was that was bothering him. Maybe tomorrow, he would want to talk more.
Maybe tomorrow, I would figure out what I had done to piss Freak off. I hoped I could because if this was how he was going to be the rest of the time I was here, it was not going to be fun.
I liked the Freak who was kind and funny to me.
I wanted him back.
*
Chapter Eleven
Freak
“Holy fuck, this is some good shit.” Boink pointed his fork at me. “You’re a lucky asshole for landing a chick who can cook like a fucking chef.”
I finished my French toast and pushed my plate back. “She’s not my chick.”
“Right,” Boink drawled. “You’re telling me that there isn’t anything going on with you and Carnie.”
I shook my head and grabbed my coffee cup. “Nah, brother. She’s too young for me.”
There wasn’t any point in denying it. These guys would all feel the same way if they were me. Eleven years was too much of a gap for me to deal with. Carnie had a life to live, and my life was right here.
“Brother, she is not too young for you.”
I shook my head. “How would you feel if Mayra was twenty? She couldn’t even go out to the bars with you.”
“It’s not like she would be twenty for the rest of her life,” Boink chuckled. “And besides,” he pointed to the bar, “last I checked, we weren’t checking IDs with every drink we pour.”
“It’s just not something that is going to happen, Boink.”
“You’re being an idiot. Age is just a fucking number, brother. Hell, I don’t even know the age of half of us in the club.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, but you’re not trying to bang any of them either, so it doesn’t matter.”
“The way I see it, we were all twenty at some point, and we all managed to make it past it. Putting the kibosh on you and Carnie just because she is young seems mighty dumb to me.”
“Yeah, well, that’s just the way it’s going to be.”
“What are we talking about?” Mayra sat down next to Boink. Her plate was filled with two large pieces of French toast and sausage.
I glared at Boink and shook my head. I did not need him telling Mayra what we were talking about. “Weather. Boink was thinking about taking you for a ride today.”
“Really?” Mayra gushed. “I am so down for that. Where are we going to go?”
Boink’s jaw dropped. “Uh, well.” He looked at me for help.
I shrugged. “Gonna go get another cup of coffee.”
“I was thinking we could drive up to the falls,” Boink thought quickly. “Get a group of us to go together.”
Mayra clapped her hands excitedly. “That’s a great idea! Freak, you and Carnie need to come with. I don’t think she has ever been on a motorcycle before. This would be awesome for her.”
“Uh, not sure that’s a good idea.” I stood and grabbed my plate. “Maybe when the Bobby thing settles.”
“Nonsense.” Boink leaned forward. “If a group of us are going, you know it’s going to be safe for Carnie. You guys are coming.”
“Carnie!” Mayra jumped up from the table and ran into the kitchen.
“You’re a fucking dick,” I growled to Boink.
He lifted his cup of coffee to his lips and shrugged. “And you’re an idiot for thinking you and Carnie can’t be together because of her age.”
“She’s too damn young, Boink.”
Boink shook his head. “She’s not.”
Mayra was talking loudly, and it sounded like Carnie, Wendy, and Raven were all up for a ride to the falls.
“This isn’t going to end well,” I said softly. I could tell Carnie liked me, and before I found out how young she was, I had liked her too. “You need to let this go, Boink.”
“You got some crystal ball shoved up your ass or something? How can you know things between you and Carnie aren’t going to end well if you haven’t even started?”
I glanced over my shoulder and caught a glimpse of Carnie with a wide smile on her lips. She was beautiful. There was no denying it. But that didn’t matter.
Carnie and I weren’t ever going to happen, and the sooner she figured that out, the better off she was going to be.
*
Chapter Twelve
Carnie
The bike vibrated under me, and my arms were wrapped tightly around Freak. Trees and the road flew by in a blur as we climbed a steep incline.
Mayra had said we were headed to the falls, but that didn’t mean anything to me. We had been driving for almost an hour, and I figured we had to be getting close to whatever the falls were.
When I woke up this morning, Freak was gone. I had been hoping I could really talk to him before breakfast, but he didn’t make that possible.
I had showered and dressed with the hope of finding Freak.
I found him, but he was in the common room with Boink and Mayra. I didn’t want to talk to Freak with both of them there so I did what I normally did when I was stressed or worried.
I cooked.
After Mayra had bounded into the kitchen and told me we were going for a ride, I figured Freak would have something to say to me.
Nothing.
We rolled to a stop next to Mayra, and Freak and I looked around. We had pulled into a clearing in the woods, but I didn’t see anything that could be classified as the falls.
“Where are we?” I asked. I unwrapped my arms from around Freak and slid off the bike. My legs were like Jell-O, and my body vibrated like I was still on the amazing piece of machinery.
Freak swung off the bike and grabbed my arm to steady me. His eyes were emotionless and dark. What was going on inside his head? What had I done?
“Welcome to the falls.” Boink threw out an arm and draped his other arm over Mayra’s shoulders. “A little piece of paradise in the middle of nowhere.”
“Well, I totally see how we’re in the middle of nowhere.” Raven raised her hand to her forehead and looked around. “How is this the falls?”
Thankfully, Wendy and I weren’t the only ones who hadn’t been to the falls before.
“I’ve only been here once before with Boink,” Mayra laughed, “and I said the same thing when we first got here.” She smiled wide and looked over her shoulder. “The falls are that way.”
Boink and Mayra led the way, walking hand in hand with Raven and Clash following behind. Wendy threaded her arm through mine and pulled me along with her. “You’re with me, sister.”
I rolled my eyes and glanced behind to see Freak and Slayer dawdling.
“Kind of wanted to walk with Freak, Wendy,” I grumbled.
“Please,” she hissed. “You can talk to that man anytime you want seeing as he is your shadow. I need a break from Slinky.”
“Don’t care.”
I tripped over a branch on the ground and almost went ass over tea kettle.
“Christ, woman,” Wendy huffed. “You almost took me down with you.” She pulled me close to her side and laughed.
“You good?”
I jumped and whirled around to see Freak right on my tail. “I, uh, yeah. First day walking, I guess.”
He looked me up and down then nodded. He dropped back to where Slayer was walking, and Wendy squeezed my arm. “Let’s move it, sister.”
I wished I was walking next to Freak and not Wendy.
After five minutes, we stepped into another clearing, but this time, there was a huge lake in front of us, and to the right was a large cliff that had water rushing over it into the lake.
“You see why we call it the falls now?” Clash hollered.
“Whoa,” Wendy gasped.
Whoa was completely right. It was like we were transported to wooded paradise.
“Who’s jumping in first?” Mayra set her book bag down and unzipped it.
“Going in?” Wendy and I asked in unison.
Neither of us had brought a swimsuit, and I didn’t know about Wendy, but there was no way I was going to skinny dip.
“Yup.” Mayra pulled out a rolled up towel and smiled wide. “We’re going swimming.”
“I do—”
Mayra silenced me with her raised hand. “I brought you both a swimming suit. You should be lucky that I have a slight shopping problem.”
“Problem?” Boink snorted. “Whatever she is about to give you, just keep it because I’m sure she has three more of them at home.”
“Quiet,” Mayra hissed. She pulled two suits out of her bag, and my heart soared they were both one-pieces.
“I call the green one,” Wendy shouted. She dove at the forest green suit and snatched it out of Mayra’s hand. “I’m assuming there’s no changing room out here so I’ll just find a big tree and hide behind it.”
“Hold up, woman,” Slayer grumbled. “I gotta come with you.”
Wendy waited two seconds before she headed off into the woods with Slayer mumbling behind her.
Mayra tossed me the teal bathing suit. “I was hoping you would get that one.”
I held the bathing suit out in front of me, and just as easily as my heart had soared when she first pulled it out, my heart plummeted. On each side of the bathing suit there were cutouts that basically made the thing a two-piece. “You’re so thoughtful,” I grumbled.
She smiled knowingly. “You’re very welcome.”
I spotted a large tree closer to the falls and looked over my shoulder at Freak. “I’m gonna go over there to change.”
It wasn’t too far away, so there wasn’t a reason for Freak to come with me. I didn’t wait for his reply, just made my way over to the tree.
A twig snapped behind me, and I saw Freak was following. “I’m fine, Freak.”
“Just let me keep an eye on you for my piece of mind. I forgot how isolated this place is.”
I rolled my eyes but shrugged. “Whatever floats your boat.”
There was no way Bobby would be able to follow us all the way out here, so if Freak wanted to act like an overprotective bodyguard, he was welcome to.
He followed me to the tree then turned his back.
“Aren’t you going to change?” I looked around to make sure no one else was around then pulled my shirt over my head.
“I’ll change once you’re in the water with everyone else.” His voice was low, and he was slowly scanning the area.
After I unhooked my bra and took off my pants, I pulled on the swimming suit and saw that I was exactly right about how revealing it was. “Shoot.”
“What’s wrong? Too big?” Freak asked.
“No. It fits perfectly. It’s just…” I was showing way more than I was used to. I dropped my arms to my sides and shrugged. “You can turn around, if you want.”
Freak slowly turned, and I became even more self-conscious as his eyes raked over my body. “Oh.”
Yeah, that was all he said.
Oh.
I was ready to oh him over the head.
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing.” He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at my stomach. “I’ll walk you to the falls.”
I grabbed my clothes and held them to my chest. They covered my middle up, and I felt more confident. “Are you still not talking to me?”
I managed to walk next to him and decided I was going to try again to figure out what happened between us.
“I’m talking.”
I rolled my eyes. “How about more than a few words at a time?”
He glanced over at me. “Not much to say.”
“How come you don’t call me doll anymore?” Yeah, I was going to get some answers.
He shrugged and turned his head forward.
“You don’t have anything to say? Nothing?”
How could Freak have been one of the nicest guys I’ve met and now he was a royal jerk who couldn’t spare more than a few words to me.
“Carnie.” That was it. My name.
“Freak,” I countered.
He pointed to the lake. “Jump in. I’ll be right there.”
I glared and took a step closer to him. “What happened?”
His right eye ticked, and he took a step back. “Get in the water.”
He turned on his heel and headed back to where we had parked the bikes. I kicked the ground and frankly looked like a whiny child.
“Trouble in paradise?” Raven asked.
I whirled around and watched her swim to the bank of the lake. “I don’t even know the answer to that. I would say yes, but I don’t think we were ever in paradise.”
“He’s a biker.”
I waited for her to elaborate more, but she just stared at me. “Am I supposed to know what that means?”
She laughed and pushed off the bank and floated on her back. “He’s a biker, and biker’s don’t do feelings real well.” She raised her hand in the air. “I take that back. There are two kinds of bikers. Ones that know what they feel and want, and then there are the ones who don’t know what to feel but know they want something but it takes a long time for them to figure it out.”
“And which one of those was Clash?” Raven had gone through a lot to snag her biker, so it was easy for her to see what made each of them tick.
“He figured out he wanted me, and then, I was the one who went ahead and screwed it up for a bit.” She smiled proudly. “I like to complicate things when I can.”
I dipped my toes into the water and waded in until it was to my waist. “I thought Freak was the cool, calm, and collected biker. Now he’s all moody and cranky with me.”
“Odd,” Raven laughed. “That’s how they normally start off, and then, they get all nice.”
“Great, I’m so glad to have the one that is the complete opposite.”
“Cannon ball!”
Raven and I turned to look to the top of the cliff just in time to see Clash raise his arms over his head and then jump over the falls. He tucked his legs underneath him and splashed into the water.
“What a bonehead,” Raven laughed.
Clash surfaced and swam over to Raven. “You watch me?” He wrapped her in his arms and pulled her to his chest.
“Kind of hard to miss you, warden.” She draped her arms over his shoulders and dropped a kiss to his lips.
“You gotta come jump with me.”
Raven shook her head. “I’m much more inclined to just float around on my back.”
“I do like you when you’re on your back, but you need to come jump, beautiful. At least once.”
Raven socked him on the shoulder. “I think you could have just said the last
part and not anything about liking me on my back.”
“Coming down!”
We watched Mayra and Boink jump together then Wendy jumped while Slayer stood on the edge watching her.
“You gonna jump?” Boink hollered to Slayer.
Slayer flipped him off. “I am, but I’m gonna do this shit in style.” Slayer moved to the edge of the falls and turned his back to us.
“Fucker is such a showoff,” Clash chuckled.
“He’s crazy,” Wendy gasped.
Slayer glanced over his shoulder then raised his arms over his head. He dove backward, flipped three times and landed with his arms above his head, slicing into the water.
“Well, damn,” I laughed. “Never thought Slayer could do that.”
“Do what?” Freak asked.
I turned around to see Freak wading into the water wearing black board shorts with white stitching on them. His tattoos were on full display, and even shirtless and in shorts, I still couldn’t see them all. My eyes went into overdrive trying to take in all of his ink at once.
Clash splashed Slayer as he swam closer. “Slayer showing off like he always does.”
Freak got waist-deep in the water, and then, he dove head first under.
“Hey, I was on the dive team in high school. I needed to see if I still had it.” Slayer swam ‘til he could stand and slicked his hair back with his hands. “Still got it, by the way.”
Boink and Clash groaned.
“You gonna come in further?” Wendy asked.
The water was almost to my chest, and I was slowly moving my arms around in it. “I think I’m good here.”
I looked around for Freak and watched him surface about twenty feet away. Though I wouldn’t mind being over there with Freak.
“All of us girls should jump together,” Mayra suggested.
“I’m in!” Wendy started swimming to the bank with Raven following behind her.
“Hey,” I called. “I thought you were more of a floater.”
Raven shrugged. “But it’s for the Girl Gang, and I’m totally going to have Clash take a picture of us jumping so I can show the other girls.”
“Is that really Wrecker’s cranky sister who hated everyone?” Boink asked.
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