by Aly Martinez
He didn’t budge, but his lips kept going. “I know you like shoes, reading, and cooking.” Suddenly, he caught the corner of the blanket and yanked it out from between us. His thick cock landed against my thigh as our naked bodies pressed together.
I gasped in anticipation, but he kept talking.
“I know you like fancy beer and the occasional glass of wine. You don’t look at the price tags while shopping for clothes, but you’ll balk at the price of boneless chicken breasts at the grocery store. You claim to like watching movies, but you spend most of it staring up at me.”
I eagerly opened my legs, and his swollen crown slid deliciously against my clit as his hips fell through.
My mouth gaped open as I arched off the bed.
“Yes,” I hissed, folding my arms around his shoulders to pull him closer.
His tongue touched just below my collarbone, sweeping out for a taste before his voice transformed into a deep, rasping whisper. “You like to be on top, but you come harder when I’m fucking you. You could kiss for days and never get tired of it. You whisper my name when you sleep. And, every single time I do something nice, you breathe that I’m real. And, Butterfly, it’s been months. I’ve touched every inch of your body with every inch of mine, yet I still feel like I have to beg, barter, and steal to get any kind of real information about you.”
“So it is about Brianna?” I huffed.
“This is about me not knowing you,” he replied at the same time the tip of his length pressed inside me, stealing the breath from my lungs—right along with my desire to have any further discussion.
That is until he stopped. Completely. Only the tiniest inch of him was nestled inside me as my body ached to be filled.
“Jude, please,” I begged, writhing beneath him.
He dipped his head to the side and nipped at my ear. “Found your birth control tonight while I was digging for floss in the bathroom.”
“And?” I drawled, rolling my hips in a failed attempt to take him deeper.
“And I realize I’ve gone through enough condoms over the last few weeks to justify buying stock, but, baby, I am not thrilled about a rubber being between us.”
Nipping at his lips, I squirmed, opening my legs wider. “Okay. Maybe we should remedy this now, then?”
Somehow, he magically managed to stay just out of my reach.
“How long you been on the pill?”
“Jude, come on. I want to feel you.”
He roughly raked his teeth over my shoulder. “How long?”
“Six weeks.”
He froze. “And I’m finding out now?”
“Jude,” I objected as he suddenly pushed off of me.
Flipping to his back, he let out a curse. “Jesus Christ.”
I slung my leg over his hips, but with a hand at my thigh, he prevented me from climbing on top.
I glared at him. “You’re pissed that I’m on birth control?”
“I’m pissed that I’m just finding out about it,” he clipped. “For fuck’s sake, Rhion, I feel like I don’t know dick about you. Sure. Over the last few weeks, I’ve learned things. But I’m far from knowing you, and I’m starting to feel like you are never going to let me in.”
“What are you talking about? Of course you know me,” I argued.
“No. I know the pieces you’ve given me. Beautiful pieces. Pieces I fucking love. But, if you want to take this relationship to the next level, I need more than that.”
My heart stopped and my nose started stinging as I squeaked. “Pieces you love?”
Had he not just halfway told me that he loved me, I would have laughed at the sight of tough guy Jude Levitt rolling his eyes. But, because he had just halfway told me that he loved me, I couldn’t focus on his impression of a sullen teenager.
He cupped the back of my neck and pulled me down to kiss my forehead. “You know I love you, but you gotta let me in.”
Twisting my lips, I leaned away and frowned. “That has got to be the worst ‘I love you’ in the history of romance.”
His eyebrows popped up. “This isn’t romance, Rhion. This is real life.”
“The two things are not mutually exclusive. Take it back and I’ll give you a do-over later.”
“I’m not taking shit back. I love you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Yeah, I fucking do.”
“Well, I don’t accept. You weren’t even smiling.”
All at once, he knifed up off the bed. His upper body crushed me as he landed on top of me. He dipped low so his face was close with mine. “Love rarely makes a man smile. Especially if said man is me and he has to deal with a crazy woman like you. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t burn the world down for you. Extinguish an entire species. And then place their ashes at your feet if it meant you’d smile. But I probably won’t be grinning while I do it.”
Oh. My. God.
He’d said that.
To me.
“Jude,” I breathed, tears pricking the backs of my eyes. “That was much better, by the way.”
“I’m glad you approve. But, regardless of how I say it, you know I love you. But swear to God, baby, I’m losing my mind trying to figure you out.”
I sniffled to keep the tears from spilling over. “What do you want to know?”
He tucked my hair behind my ear, allowing his fingers to linger at my cheek as he stared deep into my eyes and whispered, “Everything. But, more than that, I want you to give it to me because you trust me. I could ask you all the questions in the world, but it’s what you choose to give me on your own that I want the most.”
It wasn’t like I was hiding stuff from him. It’s just that we’d only been together for a few months. While I wasn’t sleeping with Johnson or Brianna, I’d been friends with them for years and was still learning new things every day.
“I’m twenty-six,” I announced.
“Know that, Butterfly.”
“Okay, well. It’s impossible for me to share twenty-six years’ worth of experiences with you in one night. Or even a few months. And, besides, not everything is meant to be heard. Some things are meant to be experienced. Like when I finally get to show you and Val my beach house in LA, where I used to make sand castles with my mom before she died.”
His face softened. “Right. I get that. But you’ve never even told me how she died. Or how that affected you.”
I screwed my eyes shut as my throat became thick with emotion. “You have my file.”
He placed an encouraging kiss to my lips. “Fuck your file, Rhion. I learned my lesson about trusting that thing when Brianna Talbot walked into your apartment.” Shifting beside me, he threaded his hand into my hair and stroked my temple with his thumb. “Tell me.”
“She fell off the balcony of my dad’s New York apartment,” I rushed out. “We think it was an accident. But I guess we’ll never know.”
I might have been a kid when it’d happened, but the pain of losing her was still as prominent as ever. Death, at six, was a very abstract idea. I distinctly remember the day of her funeral. My father had told me that morning that we were going to say goodbye to my mother. So I sat in my distraught father’s lap and stared at the doors to the church, waiting for her to show up. I was heartbroken as we drove away, because in my naivety, she hadn’t shown and I’d never gotten to say goodbye.
“And…” he prompted.
“And…you know the rest.”
“Please,” he whispered.
Swallowing hard, I relented. “She’d taken a lot of pills. Chased them with martinis. Dad and I were at ballet practice. Apollo was there when it happened. He was only four though. I’ll never forget the sound of my father yelling when the police came into the dance studio to tell him. I quit ballet the next day and never went back.”
I hadn’t realized that the tears had escaped before I felt the moisture sliding down my face.
“Was she a good mom?” he asked, wiping them away.
I bit my lip. “
Not really.” I reached up and moved her diamond back and forth across the chain. “If you want the truth, she was a lot like Margaret. Selfish. Greedy. Narcissistic.” I laughed. “Dad had terrible taste in women. But she was the only mom I had.”
“Is that why you put up with Margaret’s shit? She reminds you of your mom?”
I shrugged. “A little, I guess. But, mainly, I do it for Katie.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, that’s another one I’ve got a lot of questions about.”
I offered him a weak smile. “I see you’ve been talking to Johnson. He started working for Dad right about the time he and Margaret were getting a divorce. Johnson never got to know Katie when she wasn’t the enemy. But she’s not as bad as he makes her out to be.”
“How about you tell me who I should make her out to be, then? I know you love her. And I know she annoys the shit out of you. But that’s about it.”
I absently watched my finger trailing through the thin layer of hair covering his chest, trying to figure out the best way to explain the mythical creature known as Katie Spencer. “Katie is like a sweet, little lamb who was raised by a school of piranhas. She had to learn to fall in line or she became dinner. I’m not going to tell you she’s perfect. But she’s not evil, either. I’ve learned that people are all about perspective. When you first meet someone, your mind immediately makes a judgment call on whether they are a good person or not. Friend or foe. Hero or heel. But people have a million different layers. No one is all good. Or all bad. Not even Margaret. And especially not Katie.”
“See, Butterfly. That is exactly what I’m talking about. You just said a bunch of flowery words, but not a single one of them gave me any concrete information.”
I sighed. “Katie’s that friend who will borrow your most expensive pair of shoes without asking, but she’ll always return them.”
He smirked. “I didn’t take you for a woman who would loan out your precious shoes.”
I laughed and glided my finger up the back of his neck and over his scars. Quickly, I trailed them back down when a soft gasp escaped his lips.
“I’m not. But, for Katie, I’ll make an exception. She lived with me for fourteen months after the fire while I was recovering. I couldn’t even wipe myself when I went to the bathroom at first, but Katie did everything for me.”
His eyebrows drew together, and it made me laugh.
“Trust me. No one was more shocked than I was when I came home from the hospital to find her bags in my guest room. Pete hired me a nurse and left after two weeks. Sandy after three. But Katie? I could barely get rid of her.”
“Did you pay her?” he asked skeptically.
“No. And she never asked for a single penny. After the fact, when I finally got up and going, I allowed her to move into one of the apartments Dad left me so she didn’t have to go back to living with her mom.”
“Wow,” he breathed. “I had no idea.”
“Don’t get me wrong. She definitely has her flaws. But, at the end of the day, we’re both alone in the world. Her mom is extremely difficult, and she has to put up with a lot from Margaret. Katie’s like me: She just wants someone to love. A family to call her own. We don’t have a ton in common, so we don’t hang out much these days. But, if I reach out to her, she’s always there. No matter what.”
“Except for the last two months,” he teased.
“Except for the last two months,” I confirmed. “But, in her defense, I can hold a mean grudge. It was probably best for her to lay low until I had a chance to cool off.”
“You hold a mean grudge?” he asked, clearly unconvinced.
I nodded. “Currently, I’m mad at you for at least twelve different things. Including, but not limited to, not asking me to have unprotected sex with you or for my best friend’s last name. You know, Jude, I’m not the only one who needs to learn to open up. You don’t want to wear a condom? Tell me. How the hell was I supposed to know you were ready for that? I went on birth control because I was ready. And I figured you’d say something when you were ready. And you want to know about my best friend? Ask me. I signed an NDA like a freaking secret squirrel when I first met Brianna, but everyone knows that your man is an exception.”
He smiled impossibly wide. “Ah, yes. The little-known boyfriend loophole.”
“And, in case you’re wondering, I will never ask you to extinguish an entire species for me. But I love you too. A lot.”
His smile fell and his body softened as he shoved his face in my neck and dragged me into a hug, but I didn’t allow the heated affection to slow me down. If Jude wanted me to let him in, I would—completely.
“And, since you already know I’m crazy, I guess I don’t have to hide the fact that I think I fell in love with you while I was still standing on that ledge.”
He inhaled deeply and whispered a pained, “Butterfly.”
“Please don’t ask me to pretend I didn’t,” I pleaded.
His fingers bit into the back of my shoulder as he squeezed me tighter. “You didn’t know me then.”
“No. But I do now. And everyone has to start falling in love somewhere.”
His lips moved up my neck, peppering kisses until he’d made it to my mouth, where he smiled. “This is yet another example of us living in different worlds. But I won’t ever make you pretend, Rhion. You can tell people it was love at first sight. I’ll tell people we met at a bar.”
I kissed him slow and wet. “My version’s better.”
“It usually is.” He winked. “I think that is the most you’ve ever said to me.”
I laughed. “I’m pretty sure it’s not.”
He swayed his head from side to side. “Okay, maybe not in words. But definitely in content.”
Smiling, I whispered, “I love you, J—” Then I screamed, “Jesus!” when my bedroom door swung open and Alex came walking in.
His massive body locked up when he caught sight of us. But, before he could back out, Jude had already launched himself to his feet, butt naked, crouched and ready to attack.
“What the fuck!” Jude snarled.
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry,” Alex said, lifting his hands in surrender and spinning to face the door.
I tugged the covers up my chest and asked, “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
“You big dummy!” I heard Brianna say at the same time she appeared at the door, wearing nothing but a virtually invisible lace nightie complete with garters and a pair of stilettos. A seductive smile curled her painted-red lips as she raked her gaze over Jude’s naked body. “Niiiice,” she purred.
“Brianna!” I scolded while Jude snagged my towel off the ground and wrapped it around his hips.
“I said the second door on the right!” she chided Alex.
“This is the second door. The first is a bathroom!” he argued.
She leaned her upper body out of the door to look down the hall and then let out a curse. “Shit. Sorry. My bad.”
“What in the fuck is going on here?” Jude asked, clearly slow on the uptake.
I, on the other hand, was pissed—and seriously impressed.
“Did you fake passing out so you could sneak Alex into my apartment?”
Brianna grinned. “I’ve been taking acting classes.”
“Solid performance,” I praised. “Wait. What happened to your obsession with Devon or Johnson?”
Alex grunted but never turned to face us.
She curled an arm around his Herculean waist and pressed her front into his. “They tried too hard. If I had to watch one more game of rock-paper-scissors, I was going to lose my mind. Besides, Alex spent the day silently eye-fucking me from the couch.” She lowered her voice to a purr. “Best sex of my life.” She let out a yelp as his arm moved down in what I assumed was an ass grope.
I laughed, but Jude let out a string of expletives.
“Right,” I said. “Well, then. For future reference, the ocean room is the third room on the right—”
“And the Marriott is two blocks over,” Jude added.
Brianna giggled musically. “Good to know. We’ll…just…leave you two alone now.”
Alex quickly walked out, but my best friend lingered for a second longer, lifting her hands in the air to reveal her crossed fingers. “Wish me luck that the size of the package matches the size of the man,” she whispered.
Jude groaned and shook his head, dropping it back to stare up at the ceiling.
I rolled my eyes, but I was smiling huge. “Good luck. And please, for the love of God, turn on the beach sounds.”
“Sure thing.” She bowed low, almost spilling her boobs out of her top. “Good night, ladies and gentlemen.”
“Night,” Jude muttered, walking to the door.
She’d barely made it out of the room before Jude swung it shut, careful to lock it.
“It’s official,” he said. “That woman is crazier than you.”
“I know! Isn’t it great?”
He dropped the towel and climbed back into bed. “I’m not sure great is the word I was looking for.” He jostled me until I was resting on his chest. Then he folded his arms behind his head. “I’m glad you have someone like her, though I’m gonna have to have a conversation with her about giving out keys to your apartment.”
“It was just Alex.”
“Not my job to care who it was.”
I smiled up at him. “So, you love me, huh?”
“Yeah, and I’m not using a condom next time I’m inside you. Though, unfortunately, that is not gonna be tonight. I need to hurry up and find REM before those two get started.”
“Good plan.” I puckered my lips, and he dipped down for a quick kiss.
Leaning to the side, he flipped the switch by the headboard to turn the lights off before snuggling down for the night.
I was drawing lazy circles on his chest, searching for sleep that I knew was well out of my reach after the excitement of the day—and, now, night—when I heard him say, “We move the tattoo chair, we could put my bed in there and make a room for Val.”
My body went stiff as my throat became tight. A million synonyms for “Yes!” including, We can move the entire apartment if you want, raced to the tip of my tongue, but only a whispered, “Okay, Jude,” came out.