MAN STEALS WOMAN’S CAR ON FIRST DATE
In what was surely one of the worst-ever first dates, a Detroit man first slipped out of paying the restaurant bill and then stole his date’s car. Terrance McCoy ate in a local diner with the woman, whom he had met a week earlier at a casino, but when it was time to pay, he said he had left his wallet in her car and asked for the keys. He then sped off in the car. In court his defence attorney described him as a “very nice man who made a bad decision”.
HELP FOR MAN WHO HIT GIRLFRIEND WITH TUNA
In 1999, Nicholas Anthony Vitalich, of San Diego, California, hit his girlfriend several times with a ten-pound tuna. A judge ordered him to undergo counselling.
“WOMAN MADE 16,000 CALLS TO BLIND DATE”
Teruko Hamakawa, a 52-year-old Japanese woman, was arrested after allegedly calling a 54-year-old man at his Kawaguchi office more than 16,000 times over the course of a year. The pair had exchanged photographs as part of their romantic introduction but when he failed to follow up his interest with a phone call, police said she rang him over and over, hanging up each time. She told detectives that the man was “impolite as he turned down marriage with me without even seeing me”.
HUSBAND WALKS OUT OVER CAKE NIGHTMARE
A husband left his wife after she forced him to eat cake for every meal. Cheng Yu, from Beijing, China, said he liked Tian Mae’s sugary treats at first but eventually the merest mention of the word “cake” made him ill. “Egg cake, fruit cake, chocolate cake. I felt like a bakery dustbin,” he wailed.
AFFAIR COUPLE FINED FOUR BUFFALOES AND A PIG
Two lovers found guilty of having an illicit affair were ordered by a Malaysian court in 2010 to pay a fine of four buffaloes and a pig. The court ruled that the cheating couple should compensate their communities with the animals, valued at around $1,500.
“LOVE WITCH” FAILS TO MEND BROKEN RELATIONSHIP
Desperate to be reunited with her boyfriend, a German woman paid a self-styled “love witch” $1,300 to cast a spell on him. The elderly witch promised that by conducting a series of rituals under the light of a full moon, she would be able to influence his mind and effect reconciliation, but when the plan failed the client demanded her money back. Ordering the witch to return the fee, a Munich court ruled in 2006 that the service she promised was “impossible to render”.
WOMAN CHOOSES CROCODILE OVER HUSBAND
An Australian nurse revealed that she had divorced her husband in 2005 after he asked her to choose between him and her pet crocodile. Vicki Lowing’s husband Greg said she spent too much time with the five-foot-long croc, Johnie, which was given the run of their Melbourne house and was even allowed to sleep with her son in bed. Mrs Lowing, who said the crocodile was like a second child to her, admitted: “As soon as I started looking after Johnie, Greg and I had problems. We did nothing but fight. There was a lot of tension in the house.”
SULKING HUSBAND TURNED OUT TO BE DEAD
When 83-year-old Cayetano Sanchez didn’t speak to his wife Margarita in their home in Huatusco, Mexico, for eight days in 1998, she thought he was simply angry with her. However it turned out that he was dead. According to reports, she told the police that she had tried talking to him but he hadn’t responded. Later, when his body started to decompose, she sensed it was more than a prolonged sulk.
WOMAN JAILED FOR KILLING VIRTUAL HUSBAND
A Japanese woman was jailed in 2008 for killing her “husband” in a computer adventure game. She was so infuriated by her sudden virtual divorce from her online spouse in the popular game Maple Story that she logged on with his password and killed his digital persona. She was charged with illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data.
WIFE CHANGES MIND OVER HUSBAND’S LIBERTY
A wife who spent 47 days and nearly $50,000 on a successful high-profile campaign to have her husband released from a Mexican jail called police three months later and had him arrested for assault. Merry Brunen, from Phoenix, Arizona, told police that husband James had head-butted her during an argument. Mrs Brunen, who had lobbied officials and driven to Mexico almost every day during his incarceration to deliver bottled water, canned food and medical supplies, said the incident stemmed from his time in prison.
CHEATING HUSBAND REVEALS LOVER’S DETAILS IN SLEEP
A Chinese woman who suspected her husband of cheating on her had her fears confirmed when he revealed his secret lover’s name and address in his sleep. Confronted with his slip of the tongue, he denied everything but when the wife later visited the address she found her husband there with his mistress.
DIVORCED COUPLE GO TO COURT TO DIVIDE UP BEANIE BABY COLLECTION
Following their 1999 divorce, Frances and Harold Mountain were unable to agree on how to divide up their large Beanie Baby collection, valued at around $5,000. To settle the petty feud, Las Vegas Family Court Judge Gerald Hardcastle ordered that all the stuffed toys be brought into the courtroom where first Frances and then Harold took turns, under the judge’s supervision, in choosing Beanies. “It’s ridiculous and embarrassing,” snapped Frances, moments before squatting on the floor with her ex-husband to take first pick.
SPURNED WIFE BURNS 400 PHONES
A Chinese wife set fire to more than 400 new cell phones – worth a total of $42,000 – owned by her and her husband after he announced that he was leaving her. The couple had owned a retail phone business in Weifang until she burned the new stock and walked out of the house.
HUSBAND IS KEPT CHAINED UP IN KENNEL
A 75-year-old Polish man literally found himself in the doghouse in 2005 after his wife chained him up outside in a kennel as a punishment for repeatedly coming home drunk. According to reports, Zdzislawa Bukarowicza was tethered by his wife Helena and fed on dog food and water because she was sick of him spending all their money on vodka. He survived almost three weeks living on an old blanket and being fed from a dog bowl in temperatures of minus 20 degrees outside their home in Scinawa before friends, concerned that they hadn’t seen him at his favourite bar, called the police.
MAN GETS DIVORCE FROM FURNITURE-SHIFTING WIFE
John Turner was granted a divorce in Middlesbrough in 2001 after complaining that he had finally had enough of his wife Pauline rearranging the furniture every single day of their 38-year marriage.
RADIO SHOW TRAPS CHEATING HUSBAND
A cheating husband was caught out in 2009 when, as a birthday surprise, his wife arranged a live phone call from his favourite radio show. Davor Ivanovic was supposed to be alone on a business trip to Zagreb, Croatia, but when DJ Barbara Kolar called his room a woman answered and said he was taking a shower. When he came to the phone he claimed the woman was his wife – unaware that his real wife, Jasna, was listening in on another line. Ignoring pleas from radio station staff to keep quiet, Mrs Ivanovic screamed at him: “Who are you with? Who are you with?” Her husband hung up.
NAGGING MOTHER-IN-LAW SURVIVES ROCKET ATTACK
A vengeful Bosnian husband tried to kill his mother-in-law with an anti-tank missile launcher after claiming that she had turned his wife against him. Miroslav Milijici blamed his wife’s mother for the break-up of his marriage, and when she survived the rocket attack on her home, he tried to finish her off with a machine gun. Yet incredibly she emerged from both attacks with barely a scratch. Jailed for six years for attempted murder, Milijici said in mitigation that he could no longer bear his mother-in-law’s nagging.
“MAN ORDERED PET PYTHON TO ATTACK POLICE”
A man was arrested after allegedly ordering his pet python to attack two police officers. They were called to Victor Rodriguez’s apartment in Bridgeport, Connecticut, after reports that he was threatening his girlfriend with the nine-foot-long snake. As they arrived he is said to have shouted at the snake: “Get them!” The snake took no notice of the command.
WEEPY GIRL WANTS TEAR DUCTS REMOVED TO SAVE RELATIONSHIP
A Chinese girl asked doctors to remove her tear glands because
her continual crying was irritating her boyfriend. She said she wept while watching soap operas, listening to sentimental songs, and if she was wronged in any way, however minor. Her boyfriend had told her that if she didn’t stop, he would leave her, which probably made her cry even more.
HUSBAND IS ORDERED TO DIVORCE 82 WIVES
An 84-year-old Nigerian man was given just two days in 2008 to divorce 82 of his 86 wives. Mohammadu Bello Abubakar had been sentenced to death by an Islamic court for having more than four spouses, so the only way he could save himself was to reduce the number to an acceptable amount. He said that his wives – most of whom were a quarter of his age – sought him out because of his reputation as a healer. “I don’t go looking for them. They come to me,” he added. One of the 86, who was still at school when Bello Abubakar proposed, recalled: “I said I couldn’t marry an older man. But he said it was directly an order from God.”
CUSTOMER BURNS DOWN SHOP OVER CALENDAR ROW
An irate customer burned down a barber’s shop in Italy in 2008 after spotting a picture of his girlfriend in a pornographic calendar on the wall. Police said the customer torched the salon when the barber refused to take down the offending photograph.
EX-WIFE RECEIVES UNEXPECTED GIFT
Cory Quinn, from Sydney, Australia, committed suicide by locking himself in his estranged wife Mary’s freezer when she went on holiday. He left a note for the 280-pound woman that said: “Gorge on this, you fat pig!”
JUDGES UPHOLD FERTILITY WAGER
Convinced that it was not his fault that wife Dorothy, 20 years his junior, was unable to conceive, 56-year-old Effas Ondya, of Lusaka, Zambia, bet her $200 that it was she who was infertile. Under the terms of the wager he said she could have sex with other men but if she was still not pregnant within three months, he would win the money. However when she willingly agreed to the conditions, he suddenly had second thoughts and sued her. The court found in her favour, ruling: “The bet remains a bet.”
WOMAN SETTLES ROW BY HANDCUFFING HERSELF TO HUSBAND
In an attempt to resolve a marital dispute, Helen Sun took drastic action and handcuffed herself to husband Robert Drawbough as he slept in their Fairfield, Connecticut, home in 2009. But when Drawbough called police with his cell phone, Sun allegedly bit him on the arms and torso, prompting officers to break into the home and charge her with assault. One officer remarked: “Far from restoring matrimonial harmony, she only succeeded in making matters much worse.”
CHEATING HUSBAND CAUGHT OUT BY BROCHURE PHOTO
After enjoying a secret tryst with his mistress in Normandy, a London businessman felt so guilty that he offered to take his wife on a foreign holiday the following year. His wife liked the idea of Normandy until, browsing through the brochures in the travel agents, she happened to turn to a photograph showing her husband leaning against a harbour wall and with his arm around a mystery woman. It was his clandestine mistress. Unbeknown to them, they had been photographed by the French Tourist Board 12 months earlier.
WOMAN ASSAULTS BOYFRIEND WITH STUFFED FISH
A woman in Detroit, Michigan, was arrested in 2004 for using a stuffed fish with a pointed nose to assault her boyfriend. The fish, which was described as resembling a swordfish, was used to stab the man who received a number of cuts to his arms and shoulders. She had apparently grabbed the decorative fish off the mantle of the fireplace during a violent argument and hit him repeatedly until he let her go.
FROG IN TEA IS GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE
A court in Zambia ruled in 2001 that a man was entitled to a divorce from his wife on the grounds that she had served him a cup of tea with a frog in it. The court heard that Andrew Nyoka had left his wife Catherine as a direct result of the frog-in-the-tea incident.
“WIFE STABBED HUSBAND FOR OPENING CHRISTMAS PRESENT EARLY”
Misty Johnson, from Rock Springs, Wyoming, was charged with aggravated assault and battery in December 2007 after police said she stabbed her husband of three months with a kitchen knife because he opened a Christmas present early.
MAN THROWS PENIS AT WIFE TO PROVE FIDELITY
A Filipino man cut off his penis in 2003 and hurled it through a window at his estranged wife in an attempt to prove his fidelity. The man wrapped the severed member in a newspaper and tossed it through the window of his wife’s parents’ house in the town of Malasiqui. He then shouted, “This is so you will not suspect I am courting another girl,” before hobbling off into the night.
PARROT BLOWS WHISTLE ON CHEATING GIRLFRIEND
Parrot owner Chris Taylor realized that his girlfriend had been cheating on him when his talkative pet squawked in a perfect imitation of her voice: “I love you Gary.” Suzy Collins had been secretly meeting ex-work colleague Gary in the Leeds apartment she shared with Taylor, but Ziggy the African Grey parrot with a talent for mimicry had overheard everything. Taylor first became suspicious after Ziggy croaked “Hiya Gary” when Collins answered her phone. The parrot also made smooching sounds whenever the name “Gary” was said on TV. Eventually in 2006, Taylor confronted the woman with whom he had lived for a year, and she confessed to the affair and moved out. He also said goodbye to his beloved Ziggy after the bird continued to call out Gary’s name and refused to stop squawking the incriminating phrases in Collins’s voice. “I wasn’t sorry to see the back of Suzy after what she did,” admitted Taylor, “but it really broke my heart to let Ziggy go. I love him to bits and I really miss having him around, but it was torture hearing him repeat that name over and over again.” For her part, Collins was shocked but not disappointed to hear that Ziggy had gone. “I’m surprised to hear he’s got rid of that bloody bird,” she said. “He spent more time talking to it than he did to me. I couldn’t stand Ziggy, and it looks now like the feeling was mutual.”
WOMAN ACCUSES BOYFRIEND OF BEING PORN MOVIE ACTOR
A 20-year-old American woman was arrested after lashing out at her boyfriend with a knife because she thought he was an actor in a porn movie they were watching. Police said the woman was apparently happily watching the movie with her boyfriend at his home in Albuquerque, New Mexico, when she suddenly decided he was one of the actors in the film and went for him with a knife. After stabbing him in the face and biting him on the chest, she chased him down the street still angrily waving the knife. Wearing only a pair of shorts, he called the emergency services in desperation before managing to flag down a passing deputy.
WOMAN CHARGED WITH BITING OFF EX-BOYFRIEND’S LIP
Police in Seattle charged a woman with assault in 2007 after she allegedly bit off her ex-boyfriend’s lower lip while they kissed in bed. The pair had apparently kissed several times in the course of the evening, before, according to reports, she suddenly bit off his lip and spat it out. Other residents of the house were alerted by him yelling, “She’s a devil woman”, and police arrived to find him on the front porch, his face and neck covered in blood. They discovered his lip on the bedroom floor, covered in cat hair.
JILTED MAN SUES FOR COST OF EX-GIRLFRIEND’S BREAST IMPLANTS
In 1999, Neil Weekes, from Swindon, Wiltshire, unsuccessfully sued his former girlfriend for the $4,500 that he had paid for her breast enlargement operation before their relationship had soured. Weekes had paid for the chest of Joanna Kirby, nearly 20 years his junior, to be enhanced from a 34B to a generous DD-cup, but she later left him and moved back in with her parents. Finding himself no longer in a position to appreciate her implants, he wanted his money back.
WIFE SELLS DJ HUSBAND’S CAR AFTER ON-AIR FLIRTING
In 2005, the wife of Tim Shaw, a British radio DJ on Birmingham-based Kerrang! 105.2, sold his $50,000 Lotus Esprit sports car on eBay with a “Buy It Now” price of $1 after she heard him flirting on-air with model Jodie Marsh. Hayley Shaw took umbrage after her husband told listeners that he would leave her and their children for Marsh. The item description on eBay read: “I need to get rid of this car immediately – ideally in the next two to three hours before my husband gets h
ome to find it gone and all his belongings in the street.” The car was sold within five minutes.
NEW BOOTS SPARK TRIPLE SUICIDE BID
All three wives of a 67-year-old Iranian man took overdoses in an unsuccessful triple suicide bid in 2004 after the youngest wife sparked jealousy by buying an expensive pair of boots.
BOYFRIEND TORCHES CAR OVER DISAGREEMENT
A Raleigh, North Carolina, man was so incensed that his girlfriend didn’t buy the car he wanted her to that he set fire to the vehicle she had just bought instead. The resultant explosion threw him over a fence and down a 35-foot drop, putting him in intensive care.
WOMAN KILLS HUSBAND WITH FOLDING COUCH
Annoyed with her couch potato husband for being drunk, a woman in St Petersburg, Russia, kicked the mechanism that automatically folds the couch up against a wall, an action that killed him by trapping him between the two halves. When she returned to check on him three hours later she thought he was unusually quiet.
WIFE PLASTERS HUSBAND’S INFIDELITIES ON CAR
A South African woman divorcing her husband of 36 years tried to shame him publicly into paying her maintenance money by plastering posters on her car giving details of his various infidelities. According to a poster on the rear of the car, these included “going out boozing each night” and “bedding cheap women”.
The Mammoth Book of Weird News (Mammoth Books) Page 42